the Big Three-One

yup. it's my birthday again.
same time every year.
ho hum.

(and no, this isn't a shameful plug for good wishes)

i'm at work and i'd rather not be.
Merlin is out on vacation this week so i'm stuck doing his desk and my own. so i've got twice the work.

well i've wasted enough time...

(a little later)
i'm feeling a little, well, vulnerable right now.
see, i watched Rent on dvd last night and it always makes me cry and get all upset...
then i come in this morning and one of the girls gets a phone call which sends her into all kinds of hysterics; her sister tried to commit suicide. she left and probably won't be back this week.
yeah...definitely feeling a tad depressed.

(later still)
as if my day couldn't get worse; it happened again. **sigh**

(even later)
the day's looking up...my mom called with Squirt and Frangelica , John called, MS and Nil texted me from their vacation, Chris texted me, and a friend i haven't spoken to in years e-mailed me, all to wish me a happy birthday; coupled with the comments from earlier today, i'm feeling much better. plus, Stephen called to tell me he made reservations for us at Arirang (the hibachi steakhouse) and who could posibly be unhappy when sitting at a table that's really a grill with a chinese guy balancing knives and hurling onions through the air?

2 Months 8 Days

i present to you: David and Stephen...the cake topper!

can you stand it?!? how fabulous a job did Kate, the Topper Lady , do?

brava, Kate!

2 Months 9 Days 14 Hours

i just got our wedding invitations; i'm getting all teary eyed.

An Open Letter to D (or This One Goes Out to the One I Loved)

think back about ten years.
we met on AOL, like most gay boys in the late 90's; i think i was going by CawfeeBoy2 at the time, or maybe TruthsDarkMirror. in one night we chatted for quite a few hours, then a couple more the next night, etc. i'd never clicked with somebody, so quickly, just by chatting online. it was truly astounding how much we had in common. then, one night about a week or two later, my parents were away, and you asked me to come over. so, being the naive kid i was, i hopped a cab and met you at your apartment on the other side of the Island.

you'd sent me pictures, but nothing prepared me for how completely handsome you were: my age (22? 23?) with thick dark brown hair, incredibly large brown eyes, a very Italian looking nose and a wide mouth; you were stocky and short, but with broad shoulders; not a gym boy, by any means; Staten Island's version of the boy next door. i fell for you completely, and then fell your pull-out couch. the sex was amazing; you were amazing.

when it was over, and we lay back cuddling and talking, you said what i had been hoping to hear from another man my entire life: "i could fall in love with you". only what i heard was "i could fall in love with you". you had me. i was yours, lock stock and barrel. i went home later and walked on clouds for the next 2 days, till we were supposed to hang out again. the next time we spoke you told me you had to fly to Oregon for a family emergency. the short visit turned into a permanent move (i don't remember all the specifics) and i never saw you again.

we talked on the phone once a week (your voice was like black velvet even over the phone) and you told me that you'd be back and we'd be together; that you loved me and wanted to marry me. i grew to care about love you despite the difference in time-zones. i sent you letters and care packages filled with my still-adolescent, angst filled love poetry, mix tapes, candy and my favorite silver ring (the one with the small suns and moons on it). about a year (maybe two) later you told me you were coming back to New York to visit and i was so excited! the trip fell through. a few months later you invited me to Oregon for a week. i was all set but then couldn't make it. later, i met a guy and we started dating; i stopped calling and writing and i don't think you noticed. it finally hit me that you weren't coming back and we'd never see each other again and that i'd been a total ass for the last year (maybe two).

all the fantasies i had about us being together faded with time. your face never did though, and i sometimes see you at the mall or on the subway or in the supermarket. i usually turn away.

i'm older now, and i'm in love, again. it's different than that 22 (or 23) year old "1st" love.
it's solid. it's real and tangible. it doesn't consume me, it sustains me.
it's the love i thought i was feeling at 22 (or 23).

i hope you're doing well, wherever you are. i'd love to know what you've been up to for the last few years; especially if you're happy. i'd love for you to meet Stephen; i'm sure you two would hit it off (if he didn't try and cut you). Anyway, i do hope you're happy...or (at the very least) as happy as i am.

So, Am I the Only Person Who Watched Be the Next Food Network Star?

finally, reality TV i can appreciate. sunday was a marathon.

can you say riveted to the TV for, like, 8 hours? stephen, on the other hand, was ready to hang himself after 20 minutes.

somehow, it made me hate Bobby Flay even more than i already did.

how did i miss the 1st 2 seasons?

Frazzled, Party of 1 Pt 2 (DEFINITELY "TMI", so i won't blame you for skipping it)

overworked and overwhelmed. Merlin (remember him) is out sick (apparently the derision and malice that people are throwing his way for being such an incomparable fuck-up has given him stomach problems that sent him to the ER. my guess is it's an ulcer the size of a small dog) and i'm left doing his crap and my own.
the "lower GI" problem i'm having is not helping to brighten my mood (let's just say that the train has been delayed for the last 3 days and there's a possible "track fire").
if that is too broad an analogy for you, tough. if it's too much information, too bad.
i'm not a happy faggot right now.
not even the perfectly prepared fluffernutter i was able to bring from home lifted my spirits (though the bouquet of flowers i found waiting for me, when i got home last night, did make me a bit more perky).

Frazzled, Party of 1

i'm feeling very out of it today and just need a break.
i totally went off Weight Watchers for the 1st time, ever, this weekend.
i got drunk and then ate chicken fingers at Perkins.
saturday was at Stephen's sister's house and i ate way too much chips and dip (red light food #222). yesterday was just a nightmare of my #1 redlight food: Chinese food.
now i'm feeling guilty and just BLAH.

i need a fucking vacation.

Did You Know? Pt. 2

there's a spot on the northbound New Jersey Turnpike, somewhere between exits 13 and 13A, where the scents of industrial waste, car exhaust, refining oil, jet fuel and roadkill meld together to smell remarkably like McDonald's at breakfast time?

it's almost scary.

Did You Know? (or MS Wants a Real Post Pt. 2)

if you make a make a fluffernutter the night before, wrap said fluffernutter in plastic wrap, leave the fluffernutter on the countertop over night, and then put the fluffernutter vertically into your man-bag; by time you're ready to eat it, all the marshmallow fluff will have slid out of the sandwich and pooled in the bottom of the plastic wrap making the last three bites super-saturated with marshmallow fluff?

me neither, but that's what happened to my lunch today.

live and learn.

Btw: 2 Tbs Peanut Butter + 2 slices Arnold Double Fiber Bread + 1 Tbs Fluff = 7 points (in case you're interested)

My Heart Bleeds Pt. 3: Another Fucking E-Mail for Another Fucking Blood Drive

you'd think i'd be less pissed off than i was the last time i got one, right? wrong.

Wedding Update #252 (or MS Wants a Real Post Pt. 1)

2 months. can you believe it? i'm really not that nervous. i'm more excited than anything else.
we're at a point where there's still stuff left to do, but it can't be done till the last minute:

1. mail out invitations (late july)
2. favors (august)
3. flowers (august)
4. cake (mid-september)
5. groomsmaids' jewelery (mid-september)
6. get fitted for tuxes (early september)

so now it's just sitting on our hands and waiting..or is it?

there's other stuff i need to do; it's just trying to find the time:

1. send CD's to the DJ: there's some music he just has to play that nobody owns, but me (like Keely Smith's version of Someone to Watch Over Me and the Almighty mix of Tainted Love).


2. get wedding bands engraved: btw, is it bad luck to keep trying on your wedding band before the actual wedding?


3. pay everyone: the photographer, limo and celebrant have all paid. that leaves the hall and the DJ. plus whomever is listed above.


4. go over the ceremony/game plan: are we making an entrance? what about our parents? there's no aisle to walk down, so what do we do?


5. table placement for the hall: we're not doing assigned seats, except for the kids and our parents; y'all can sit wherever y'want.


6. write my vows: this is gonna be tough, and probably pointless 'cause let's face it, i'm gonna be a weeping, blubbering mess no matter what i say (but i'll look fabulous anyway).
7. Unity Candle and matching tapers.
8. Four 5" 4" Pillar Candles: Stephen's a wiccan and would like to have candles marking the four corners of the "sacred space"; we got the pillar holders (48") but now need the candles (red, yellow, blue and green). all the candles they had at Peir 1 were to small and seemed to get lost in the holder.

ok...so maybe there isn't time to sit on my hands...that's alot to do. wow...2 months...

Did Ya See My Poll? Huh? Did Ya? Look to the Right...

so what are you waiting for? vote, already.
it's the least you could do, especially if you're not gonna leave a comment.
*sniff*
i'm gonna try and post a new poll every week. i welcome any suggestions you may have.

Strangely Enough, I'm Not at All Surprised

25%

i mean, not that i've ever thought about it or anything...

We've Secretly Replaced Cawfee Guy's Regular Drink With Something Else...Let's See If He Notices!

as of Saturday, i'm down to 178 lbs.
that means i've lost another point from my daily ration.
i now have 29 points, from the 32 when i started.
i know...it's not that significant of a drop, and i still have more points than those starving kids in Connecticut, but it does make a difference. when you're used to eating a certain amount of food a day and then can't, it's kinda traumatic.

especially when you go to Starbucks to get your usual (iced-venti-5-shot-skim-vanilla-latte) and you're given something else. there's one word in my drink's title that makes all the difference. can you guess which one? that's right. skim.

Skim milk vs Whole milk is a difference of 2 points. a seven point latte versus a five point latte.
two points is a Kashi Dark Chocolate and Cherry bar or a 100 calorie pack of Goldfish Pretzels.

i dont' even like whole milk. it's like drinking melted butter.
this has thrown my whole day out of whack.

i'm hungry, but i'm afraid to eat.
my PB & J sandwich is 7 points. that leaves me 15 points for dinner and post dinner snacking.
i'll never make it to lunchtime.

Mr. Evil (I Didn't Have the Patience to Go to Evil Medical School)

i think i might be a horrible person (i mean aside from the last two posts), but in the spirit of attempting to be a better person, i'll give you the short version of why:

on Saturday, we took Squirt to lunch and then to play miniature golf. midway through golfing i had the bright idea to buy 3 tokens for the batting cages. after our last hole i gave 1 to stephen, 1 to Squirt and kept one for myself. not unexpectadly, stephen looked surprised when i handed him one, but grabbed a helmet and bat nonetheless. fast forward 10 pitches to when he screams, throws the bat down, grabs his thumb and blows off a litany of profanity that made me blush. we grab an "ice pack" from the attendent (it was a re-filled Dasani Bottle, frozen) and sit on a bench. the thumb, meanwhile, is swelling and turning the most gorgeously un-thumblike shade of cerulean. i'm all set to drive to the hospital.

(begin unnecessarily long flashback) i'm totally thinking back to when i was 7, in Little League and got hit in the thumb by a pitch. mom and dad rushed me to the hospital 'cuz the pressure under my thumbnail was unbearable. we got this doctor who had only been in the United States for 3 days who wanted to use a paperclip and a lighter to relieve the pressure(i swear to god, ask my mother). my mother screamed. my father screamed. i screamed. the nurse screamed that they had a laser for that. the laser was used, the pressure was relieved and eventually the nail turned black and fell off. (end unnecessarily long flashback)

Stephen tells me no, it's not that serious. i attempt 3 more times and get 3 more refusals; everything's fine. he's a PT, i'm in finance. slightly mollified, i grab his discarded bat and helmet and hit 18 of the 22 softballs pitched to me.

fast forward 4 hours (past the kicking myself that i suggested the batting cages and past the frequent suggestions that blue isn't a good color for thumbs and maybe we should go to the hospital) to me standing over the sink, washing a couple of things that can't go in the dishwasher. in walks stephen, clutching his dripping homemade ice pack. "i think maybe i should go get this x-rayed; it might be broken". i ask him to give me ten minutes to finish the dishes and he looks at me like i asked him to cut off a pinkie toe, dip it in sugar and feed it to me. dishes get done, i grab my keys and we head to the ER.
en route, i sheepishly ask him if he would mind if i stop at Starbucks.
same look. so i ask him:

me: is that wrong?
him: ...no. it's fine.
m: no...really...am i a bad person for wanting to finish out my points with an Iced Vanilla Latte` while we're sitting in the ER? i mean, we're gonna be there for at least 3 hours...
h: no...whatever...i guess not.
m: ok...'cuz, well, we waited 4 hours, i figured it wasn't as urgent as all that, y'know?
h: it's fine. whatever.
m: am i being a bad boyfriend again?
h:well, you're not Bree Van De Kamp and i'm not having a heart attack.

everything worked out well. there was no talk of lasers or hot paperclips. the thumb isn't broken, it's only badly bruised. he needs help buttoning his shirt, but aside from that he's ok.
it was a really good iced latte, by the way.

It's About Time

now this is a step in the right direction.

Reason #212 Why I Can't Stand Children

toys usually aren't deadly; kids are just stupid, and the really stupid ones are fucking up the world for the rest of them.

it happened with Weebles (stupid kids putting the egg shaped toys in their mouths and choking, prompting Hasbro to make them bigger, more ungainly and considerably less fun) and now it's happening with Magnetix.

if your kid is young enough that they put everything in their mouth, they shouldn't have this toy! furthermore, if you're such an irresponsible parent (or your child is so dumb that he/she/it is still going through his/her/its oral stage at the age of 7+), i say let the little idiot suffer. guaranteed it'll be the last time he/she/it swallows anything that isn't food and the last time you give them something the size of a Good N Plenty to play with.

Star Struck Pt. 2

Leo: You'll be saying thanks over and over again starting today as all your friends and fans begin plans for a long celebration.

now that is a horoscope.

*snap*

Lazy Ass Friday Post: a Random Smattering of What I'm Listening to at Work (updated when appropriate)

1. Coin Operated Boy~ Dresden Dolls: totally loving this song. totally reminds me of MS. read the lyrics; it's a scream. favorite part: the rubber ducky noise.

2. I'll Be Your Light (album version)~ Kristine W: you know how much i love her and her lyrics; i'm engraving a line or two on Stephen's wedding ring.

3. Integral~ the Pet Shop Boys: this album kicks major ass. this song kicks major ass. it's so retro-PSB that it completely negates the lameness that was Nightlife.

4. We Connect~ Stacey Q: her cd Better Than Heaven was a gift from John. i swear.

5. Big Wheel~ the woman's nuts, but i love her. can one refer to themselves as a MILF?

6. Come Go With Me~ Expose`: talk about flashbacks. Expose` was the Spice Girls before the Spice Girls were the Spice Girls.

7. Shine (acoustic version from the Body Acoustic)~ i think this is the best version of this song i've heard (when compared to the original version and the 5 remixes i have of it); she's really got such passion in her voice. the CD is really great; better than a Best Of.

8. Looking Good and Feeling Gorgeous~ RuPaul: this was her big comeback song that nobody cared much about. it's worth hearing just 'cuz she says "organgutan".

9. Song for the Dumped~ Ben Folds Five: god, whatever happened to them?

10. Love Affair~ easily one of the best songs on her Fever cd. totally underrated.

11. On a Night Like This~ Kylie Minogue: Light Years was such a fun and fabulously gay album; this was the best song on a cd of truly great music.

12. If Looks Could Kill~ Heart: i had this album on cassette when it 1st came out (i was, like, seven years old) and played it till it wore out and snapped. years later we were at a club and this frighteningly old and mannish drag queen lip-synched terribly to it, while cracking a whip and wearing a leather bustier. somehow the experience didn't sully my love for song.

13. Love House~ Sammantha Fox: seriously, my favorite song on her I Wanna Have Some Fun album (another cassette i played the shit out of, when i was just a tot).

14. Dreamweaver~ Erin Hamilton (Trick Soundtrack): totally kicks the original version's ass.

DNA Personality Test: Faithful Curator

but there are supposed to be pretty colors...where are the pretty colors..?
i guess this reinforces my "strong sense of aesthetics".
**pout**
and i guess that reinforces my "low association with stereotypical masculinity".
My personalDNA Report
click on the link above to see my results, and to take the test yourself. you'll also be able to see the pretty colors that are supposed to be here.

**scowl**

Star Struck

Leo: What holds you back is your impulse to speak out of turn; listen up, keep your mouth closed and your eyes open.

is that not the most cunty horoscope you've ever read? do they know who i am? you do not talk that way to a Leo.

**folds arms and scowls**

the Soundtrack of Your Life Pt 3 (or I'm Really Not Feeling the Whole "write a real post" Thing, Today)

this version was stolen from BL's blog. y'know how much i love filling these out (even though the last one was a total bust).


anyway...you know how they work...



opening credits: Future Lovers~ Madonna
waking up: Break Away~ Kelly Clarkson
first day at school: Girl Anachronism~ the Dresden Dolls
falling in love: Hand in Glove~ the Smiths
breaking up: Divorce Song~ Liz Phair
prom: the Way That You Love Me~ Paula Abdul
life’s okay:Kate (extra strings version)~ Ben Folds Five
mental breakdown: Fly Again (Scumfrog edit)~ Kristine W
flashback: True Colors (acoustic version)~ Cyndi Lauper (from the Body Acoustic)
driving: There's More to Life Than This~ Bjork
getting back together: Paradise is Here (Junior Vasquez radio edit)~ Cher
wedding: Two of Hearts~ Stacey Q
birth of a child: Love Child~ Sweet Sensation
final battle: Jazzin'~Kristine W.
death scene: U Got the Look~ Prince featuring Sheena Easton

Fucking BRILLIANT (but Transformers was Better)

it has so whetted my appetite for the last book.

an Open Letter to Rufus Wainwright

i'm sorry, sweetie; i've tried to like your new CD, i really really have, but it's just not happening. i thought that if i played it randomly with your 1st four cds (and my own Rufus Wainwright Rarities compilation which includes some unreleased live stuff and the things you did for various movie soundtracks, like Heartburn, Instant Pleasure, and Alleluia) that it would be bearable. i was wrong. a couple of the songs are really good (ie. Do I Disappoint You, Slideshow, Leaving for Paris No.2, and Release the Stars), but the rest of it is just...well...disconcertingly dull, and i wind up fast forwarding them (Between My Legs? what were you thinking?). i even went to your website to download the 2 "special" tracks with the password i got in the CD (incidentally, **boo* *hiss** for not making them uploadable to MP3 players. i've yet to listen to either song, because i can't. i mean, really though, how many people listen to music solely on their computers? bad form, miss thing). i tried to wait it out like i did with Want Two, which (i'll be honest) i didn't like when i 1st heard it. a month or so later, the genius of the music hit me(Gay Messiah? Art Teacher? Old Whore's Diet? fucking awesome); unlike your other albums which i loved right out of the box, the 1st time i listened to them. i was hoping the same thing would happen with Release the Stars, to no avail. perhaps i should wait a little longer?

i'm sure this was a fluke and your next CD will be as wonderful as your others; they can't all be winners, right? you're an amazing musician, a brilliant performer (speaking of which, when are we gonna see the Carnegie Hall concerts released on either CD or DVD?) and a shining beacon in the Community. i've been a fan for quite a while, and i'll stay a fan till you stop releasing CD's and performing; just promise me you'll stop recording songs like Tulsa...

Movie Queen

i Y summer blockbusters.

as a matter of fact, the big budget special effects laden movies are one of my favorite parts of the summer (second only to the scantily clad, hairy chested guidos of Staten Island). ever since i was a little kid, and mom and dad drove us out to Long Island to see Empire Strikes Back at the drive-in (remember drive-in movies?), i've been hooked on seeing movies in the summer. i don't know what it is, but summertime movies just feel different. maybe it's watching all the special effects, with the fire and action, in a cold theater and then walking out into the warm balmy NY air, but the movies themselves just seem bigger and more fun, even when they're awful.

we saw Transformers friday night and i was blown away. the action was fantastic, the storyline was amazing and the acting was light years beyond what one usually finds in a "comic book" movie. i was so tremendously relieved that it turned out to be as good as it was since i was a big fan of the 80's cartoon and the original movie. i had as many of the toys as mom and dad were willing to spring for (btw: the new Transformers toys are a tremendous let down; they're made of plastic. if i was a kid today, i'd rather play with the box).

we've already got tickets to see Harry Potter tomorrow night and i'm anticipating a good time. the 1st movie came out around Christmas time, and i remember it had such a magical and wintry feel. as the movies have progressed, they've gotten darker and more "oppressive", so i can only imagine what this next installment will feel like.

i'll be honest though, no matter how good it is, i'm sure it would be even better if i could watch it at the drive-in (hmmm maybe i do belong in '55).

My Friends Say the Darndest Things

"Now, I'm Chinese. That's pretty obvious. But I'm only a little more Chinese than General Tso's Chicken - created by Chinese people, looks Chinese, has a Chinese flavor, but definitely Americanized for public consumption"~ a Fools Prerogative (Lady N'il)

That's So Gay

you know how much i love that expression, right? almost as much as i like being kneed in the groin. sadly, i hear it all the time; at work (albeit infrequently), in the subway, at Squirt's softball games, and in my parent's dining room. it's an expression that has become synonymous with "that's so completely uncool" or, simply, "lame".

well, the other day i was surfing around Blogger, when i came across this blog entry, and felt compelled to comment. i won't bore you on my stance, since i'm sure you know how i feel by now. i am going to tell you that after a volley of comments with another blogger on the aforementioned blog (and several other comments, from other bloggers, which i urge you to read), i've decided to take back the expression and turn it around. i'm going to use it like a gay person to reflect what is "gay":

anger. frustration. humor. music. irony. being femme. being butch. being loud. being scared to death. being scared of death. being alone. being surrounded by people that are more family than friends.

over the last year, this blog has come to reflect me and my attitude about what's going on in the world around me. about a month ago, had a post where i wondered if i was too gay. a month later, i'm pretty sure i'm not. i'm pretty sure that there's really no such thing. therefore, i'm changing my blog's title to That's So Gay, 'cuz the more i think about it the more i realize that this blog is really really gay.

btw: i want to hear what you think, about the expression "that's so gay"....

"Fags are a hoot"~ Karen Walker (Will & Grace)

There's a 1st Time for Everything

You Belong in 1955

You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

What Year Do You Belong In?

i've never been called "innocent" before. ever. i demand a recount.

Every Year...

it's July.
that means my birthday's coming again (on july 31st).
the BIG Three-One.

i do feel a little older than last year, a little wiser, a little slimmer. Thirty-one isn't nearly the big deal that thirty was. i don't mind it as much.

now, i've already had a couple of people ask me what i want for my birthday and rather than say, "aw nothing! just to spend time with you is enough for me", and since we didn't register for the wedding, i'm putting it all down on a convenient list. i hope you appreciate my greed coupled with diligence.

i'm old goddammit, just make me happy before i die:


Absolutely Fabulous Season 1 and/or 2 on DVD: i gotta have my Patsy and Edina. it's been too long, and i can't deal with the old VHS copies i got from Jenn when i turned the big Two-One (i like the symmetry of this, don't you?).

t-shirts: think back a couple of weeks and you'll know which ones. i don't mind dupes; a boy can't have too many Aquaman or Green Lantern shirts. there's also the Militant Homosexual look, too (check out Cafe Press) or just good ole fashioned queer (again...Cafe Press).

books: is it a coincidence that my birthday and Harry Potter's birthday are the same day? no. it's a sign that somebody who loves me should buy me the new book which comes out every year or so on or around my birthday. there are a ton of other books out there that i'm looking for, the new Tales of the City (sorry BL, i can't bring myself to buy it, and deprive someone an easy gift ), and Robert Rodi has a new novel out When You Were Me. honestly if you go to Alibris. i've made it quite easy for you.

gift cards: always the right color and size; Best Buy, Starbucks, Target or Amex fit the best, though.

is it greedy? maybe.

is it tacky? possibly.

but, this list is coming on July 5th, after having about 3 hours of sleep (between the fireworks and the huge thunderstorm afterward) i'm feeling a little testy and vulnerable.

i'm sure i'll remove it when i'm in a better frame of mind...

Seasoned Liberally

My Liberal Identity:

You are a New Left Hipster, also known as a MoveOn.org liberal, a Netroots activist, or a Daily Show fanatic. You believe that if we really want to defend American values, conservatives must be exposed, mocked, and assailed for every fanatical, puritanical, warmongering, Constitution-shredding ideal for which they stand.

Take the quiz at http://www.fightconservatives.com/Inside-the-Book/What-Breed-of-Liberal-Are-You.html

I'm So Excited, I Could Shit

it's like getting a letter from a friend you haven't spoken to in years, y'know?

the real question is, do i wait for someone to buy it for me for my birthday or go out and buy it for myself?

"And life is a wonderful thing/When youre humming the words to a love song/Do what you wanna do be who you want to be"~Fingers & Thumbs (Erasure)

You're a Card: to Be Dealt With

i just heard the saddest thing...

one of the girls at work has been with her boyfriend for a year; they celebrate their anniversary in a couple of days. she's trying to find him the right card but everything is (get this), too romantic or too emotional. she looks at cards that proclaim everlasting love or romance and rolls her eyes or makes gagging noises. funny cards are ok, and "i wanna sex you till your eyes fall out yer ass" are even better, but she doesn't believe in the sentiment stated in most greeting cards. she won't even buy blank cards because she feels that it's too much pressure to write like what's found in a pre-printed one. oh, and she likes getting one almost as much as buying one. apparently, when she reads cards from guys that drip sentiment, she laughs.

maybe it's because i'm the kind of guy that tears up in the card store when picking one out for someone, or because when i buy blank cards i write exactly what i feel (though not expediently; you'd think i was paid by the word), but i can't imagine being so jaded about love that even greeting cards are passe.

she has every right to be jaded, by the way. . guys have been reall shits to her, and it's a sin. she's one of those girls who have it all: she's beautiful and smart and just a good person, but guys treated her like dirt. if i had her dating history i'd be jaded, too.

come to think of it, i was as jaded and cynical as she (and i had alot less cause to be), till i fell in love. maybe that's what it will take. maybe that's how you know when you found "the one"; when the ice around your heart melts and those walls are torn down.

Remember This Handsome Devil?

he didn't look nearly as cute the last time i posted pictures of him

that other guy's pretty damn cute, too. it must run in the family. anyway, the little one turns one in a couple of weeks! he's already running and jumping and talking (uncle stephen says it's 'cause his mommy never stops talking). it's almost scary how smart he is...we're talking miles ahead of a couple of my co-workers.

Mary, Mary, Stout and Hairy, How Does Your Garden Grow..?

following in the footsteps of our ancient Sicilian ancestors from brooklyn, stephen and i decided to plant some vegetables this year! behold the fruits, veggies and herbs of our labors (click on the pictures for a bigger view):


stephen's tomatoes and bell peppers (the vines are getting tall but have yet to sprout fruit).



my zucchini, from afar...

a close up of a zucchini flower!



mint and something else that must've been lingering in the pot...

italian basil.

Strawberries!