“Any day you haven’t learned something, is a wasted day”; that’s what my mom always said. So, for the last 35 years, I’ve made it a point to not waste the day. the 1st eighteen years were pretty much a given; something was always new and, by the time I had reached eighteen, I was convinced I knew everything. Luckily I was wrong and still managed to learn a little something about life every day, the most important of which was that I wasn’t done learning. Fast forward to two years ago when I learned to knit; now, every day was a guaranteed learning experience.
Showing posts with label Gay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gay. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Husband Material
The other day, a business associate called and, as is our custom, we chit-chatted for about 10 minutes prior to getting to the point of her call. See, she’s originally from the Jersey Shore and now lives in San Francisco, so she has this fantastic East Coast mentality with West Coast energy-thing, which I find both interesting and friendly. Having worked together for a number of years, she always asks how Rufus and CawfeeMate are doing, and refers to him as my “partner”; CawfeeMate, not Rufus.
Let me be honest (‘cuz, y’know, I’ve been lying this whole time): of all the ways that one could refer to CawfeeMate, “partner” is one of my least favorite (behind “special friend” and “roommate”); by now, most of you know that words matter to me. When I hear the word “partner” I think of two things: 70’s/80’s cop shows like Cagney and Lacey and Starsky & Hutch, where you were bound to hear one refer to the other as their partner when talking to a third party and Bewitched where Darren worked for McMahon and Tate; we always saw Larry Tate, but never his partner, _____ McMahon*. I’m a child of the TV generation; sue me.
Anyway, the point I’m driving at is this: to me, “partner” is such an emotionless and clinical term for a relationship; it purports that the relationship would not be there if the two people weren’t working towards a common goal and removes all romantic connotations. Even the alternatives provided by the MS Word Thesaurus sound decidedly unromantic (“associate”, “colleague”, “cohort”, “equal”, and “co-worker”). While one might certainly argue the homo-erotic subtext found in both Cagney and Lacey and Starsky & Hutch, the relationships were work related. That’s not my relationship with CawfeeMate; he’s my husband. Emotionally, spiritually and legally.
Let me be honest (‘cuz, y’know, I’ve been lying this whole time): of all the ways that one could refer to CawfeeMate, “partner” is one of my least favorite (behind “special friend” and “roommate”); by now, most of you know that words matter to me. When I hear the word “partner” I think of two things: 70’s/80’s cop shows like Cagney and Lacey and Starsky & Hutch, where you were bound to hear one refer to the other as their partner when talking to a third party and Bewitched where Darren worked for McMahon and Tate; we always saw Larry Tate, but never his partner, _____ McMahon*. I’m a child of the TV generation; sue me.
Anyway, the point I’m driving at is this: to me, “partner” is such an emotionless and clinical term for a relationship; it purports that the relationship would not be there if the two people weren’t working towards a common goal and removes all romantic connotations. Even the alternatives provided by the MS Word Thesaurus sound decidedly unromantic (“associate”, “colleague”, “cohort”, “equal”, and “co-worker”). While one might certainly argue the homo-erotic subtext found in both Cagney and Lacey and Starsky & Hutch, the relationships were work related. That’s not my relationship with CawfeeMate; he’s my husband. Emotionally, spiritually and legally.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
It Can Get Better
A few weeks ago, a friend updated his Facebook status to say:
“I am so sick of all the ‘stop the hate. Together’ and associated ‘it gets better’ bullshit. Enough with the pussification of america. How about ‘sometimes it sucks’ and ‘stick up for youself’ and ‘don’t be a coward’ hate and bullying are a lot older than any of us and cannot be stopped. Teach independence, not cowardice”.
Naturally, I was outraged. A few weeks later, I posted a link to Unicorn Booty’s article on the suicide of Jamie Hubley with the comment “he shoulda just manned up, right” and his response was:
“Well, he did want to be a unicorn. Self cutting? Suicide blogs? Where’s mom and dad? Sad, yes, but necessary, no. I was the only out gay kid in HS and I got out and graduated in 3 years rather than taking a swan dive off a bridge. My point is, there are options other than suicide. Now it seems almost fashionable, which, in my opinion, only increases the level of cowardice of the act”.
again, I was outraged...but a little less so... See, on one hand he’s right. Where were this kid’s parents? Teachers? Didn’t his doctor/pediatrician notice the kid was cutting himself?
That said, I continued with the outrage…
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Pups and Twinks and Bears, Oh My!
When I started blogging again I made an unspoken promise to myself and my reader(s) that I’d refrain from posting silly quizzes and things, like the thirteen year old girl I am (on the inside). I wanted to stick with actual posts, in my own voice, about things that I felt like sharing.
That having been said, here is a really cool survey that pertains to Our Gay Community. I’m fascinated on how truly diverse and varied we are, and how we label ourselves and others; I’m also totally intrigued by the labels I’ve never even heard of, like “Muscle Pup” and “Bull”! The graphs generated by this survey are fab because they provide a visual breakdown of the symbiotic nature of the Community and lord knows I loves me any information made visual.
Enjoy, kids!
That having been said, here is a really cool survey that pertains to Our Gay Community. I’m fascinated on how truly diverse and varied we are, and how we label ourselves and others; I’m also totally intrigued by the labels I’ve never even heard of, like “Muscle Pup” and “Bull”! The graphs generated by this survey are fab because they provide a visual breakdown of the symbiotic nature of the Community and lord knows I loves me any information made visual.
Enjoy, kids!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
People Are People, Right?
Where is all this hate coming from? I know it’s nothing new and it’s also nothing I haven’t touched upon, on this blog, before, but I’m really at a loss lately. There’s so much about the militant anti-LGBT movement that I just don’t understand; like the rationale of the Nazis and the Klan. My pink liberal brain just can’t quite comprehend what it is that one gets out of limiting the rights, freedoms and happiness of others. I don’t get how anyone can say that “the gays” want to “redefine marriage” when, in all actuality, most of us agree with the current definition: “two people, in a legally binding contract, joined together forever”; just not the interpretation of “two people”. The gays aren’t the ones who want to redefine it to only mean men and women marrying. I don’t understand how our marriage has any affect on anyone else’s life, but mine and my husband.
Quite honestly, I blame religion. The 1st thing you learn in almost all religious education is that only “believers” get into heaven; everyone else is doomed until they see the light. Non-believers are pitied, scorned and in extreme cases fought to the death. In a country built on freedom from religious persecution, you’d think we would be less apt to let religion have a hand in writing our laws. With the vitriol with which right-wing Christians and Catholics criticize Muslims for their hateful zeal, you’d think their anti-LGBT rhetoric would be less focused on cramming their faith and beliefs down the throats of non-believers. Most are so afraid of having any Muslim influence on our political system (read: the Birthers) that they can’t see their devotion to Jesus are just as rabidly fanatical.
It just seems that the entire anti-LGBT faction has gotten completely out of control and has become counter-productive to this country’s basic tenets, and raises more questions about its ethics and purported morals. You’ve got men and women who, despite all the hate and rhetoric directed at them, love their country enough that they’re willing to die to defend it. How can anyone rationalize not giving them the opportunity to defend that country because of who they sleep with? You’ve got millions of people who want to add more stability to the country by “legitimizing” their relationships and creating the standard family unit; how can that destroy it, especially when it's current state is in such horrible disrepair? How can a country founded on the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness seriously think that creating laws to limit all three, for a large section of the population, be in that country’s best interest? Did we learn nothing from our country’s past when the nation treated African Americans and women of all races as second class citizens?
Sometimes i get really scared about our future. Thinking about Proposition 8 and the recent news on DADT, it seems like the steps we've taken towards freedom and equality can be undone at anytime; that those freedoms and rights are wholly contingent on how many democrats or republicans are sitting where...
Quite honestly, I blame religion. The 1st thing you learn in almost all religious education is that only “believers” get into heaven; everyone else is doomed until they see the light. Non-believers are pitied, scorned and in extreme cases fought to the death. In a country built on freedom from religious persecution, you’d think we would be less apt to let religion have a hand in writing our laws. With the vitriol with which right-wing Christians and Catholics criticize Muslims for their hateful zeal, you’d think their anti-LGBT rhetoric would be less focused on cramming their faith and beliefs down the throats of non-believers. Most are so afraid of having any Muslim influence on our political system (read: the Birthers) that they can’t see their devotion to Jesus are just as rabidly fanatical.
It just seems that the entire anti-LGBT faction has gotten completely out of control and has become counter-productive to this country’s basic tenets, and raises more questions about its ethics and purported morals. You’ve got men and women who, despite all the hate and rhetoric directed at them, love their country enough that they’re willing to die to defend it. How can anyone rationalize not giving them the opportunity to defend that country because of who they sleep with? You’ve got millions of people who want to add more stability to the country by “legitimizing” their relationships and creating the standard family unit; how can that destroy it, especially when it's current state is in such horrible disrepair? How can a country founded on the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness seriously think that creating laws to limit all three, for a large section of the population, be in that country’s best interest? Did we learn nothing from our country’s past when the nation treated African Americans and women of all races as second class citizens?
Sometimes i get really scared about our future. Thinking about Proposition 8 and the recent news on DADT, it seems like the steps we've taken towards freedom and equality can be undone at anytime; that those freedoms and rights are wholly contingent on how many democrats or republicans are sitting where...
Thursday, January 06, 2011
I'm Not Kidding
Every so often, the huz and I will meet a new group of people who find us to be something truly unique: a happy, committed gay couple in a long-term relationship. They’ll engage us in conversation about how long we’ve been together and how we met and all the usual stuff a couple gets asked. Inevitably, though, conversation will turn to that topic that is an instant buzz-kill: children. People want to know when CawfeeMate and I will begin our own family and adopt some one eyed, club footed Chinese kid or ADD crack baby; they nearly spit out their drinks when we tell them we’d rather undergo hemorrhoid surgery from a near-sited proctologist with Ectrodactyly.
Let me set the record straight, folks, we don’t want kids. Ever. Not all the gays are like the ones on Brothers & Sisters or Modern Family; We don’t all crave Burberry baby booties or Louis Vuitton diaper bags. Some of us are quite content lavishing our “disposable incomes” on ourselves and each other. Okay, I really can’t speak for CawfeeMate, but (as if you haven’t heard my opinion enough on the topic), here’s how I feel about Daddyhood:
I grew up with the most absolutely amazing parents. They were loving and attentive and there for me whenever I needed them. My dad worked three jobs to put us through catholic school and keep my mom home to tend to the house and still found time to be Scoutmaster, soccer coach, little league coach and do all the other proto-typical dad things a dad should do. My mom cooked like Julia Child, kept house like June Cleaver and swore like Sam Kinison. She was a Den Mother, Sunday School teacher and PTA mom and did without nice clothes, new shoes and even a new coat for years, but never complained. they were both incredibly supportive of anything I did and encouraged me in all my pursuits and interests. They really were the best parents a kid could ever have and I can, honestly, say that I was tremendously lucky to call them “mine”; even as a kid they made me feel lucky without telling me I was. it's only now, years later they told me that the main reason was because, as parents, it was their obligation to us to provide the best possible life they could; that they owed it to us.
That having been said, I do not believe that I could ever, under any circumstance, be that unselfish and giving to any other human being on earth (with the exception of my husband). As much as I love my friends and feel as strongly for them as other people feel about their family, there is still a limit to how giving I would be with them. My parents love was…is…completely limitless. they are the bar i measure all parents by. God forbid I was a parent, I’m confident that I would be forever comparing myself to them and find myself to be a dismal failure; there’s absolutely no way I could do without for the sake of a child who, may, turn out to be just as ungrateful and “entitled” as 90% of the kids I see every day. I’m just not that kind of person.
The wii is mine; no you can’t have a turn.
Saturday mornings are mine; I’m not blowing off my sock making class to take you to violin lessons.
The muscle car is mine; mini-van my ass.
My disposable income is mine; braces? The cannery has good dental, or so I hear.
(most importantly) CawfeeMate is mine; if there’s one thing you learn, as you go through This Gay Life, it’s to be wary of anyone younger and cuter than yourself*; there’s no way in hell I’m letting the wolf in when he knocks.
i give all of you (gay and straight) who decide to become parents, alot of credit for jumping into that with both feet, but it's just not me. I’ll admit it readily and with little shame: I’m a selfish faggot and, yes, i'm judging you by how you raise your kids.
*the puppy doesn't count as he has a brain the size of a ceci pea and no opposable thumbs.
Let me set the record straight, folks, we don’t want kids. Ever. Not all the gays are like the ones on Brothers & Sisters or Modern Family; We don’t all crave Burberry baby booties or Louis Vuitton diaper bags. Some of us are quite content lavishing our “disposable incomes” on ourselves and each other. Okay, I really can’t speak for CawfeeMate, but (as if you haven’t heard my opinion enough on the topic), here’s how I feel about Daddyhood:
I grew up with the most absolutely amazing parents. They were loving and attentive and there for me whenever I needed them. My dad worked three jobs to put us through catholic school and keep my mom home to tend to the house and still found time to be Scoutmaster, soccer coach, little league coach and do all the other proto-typical dad things a dad should do. My mom cooked like Julia Child, kept house like June Cleaver and swore like Sam Kinison. She was a Den Mother, Sunday School teacher and PTA mom and did without nice clothes, new shoes and even a new coat for years, but never complained. they were both incredibly supportive of anything I did and encouraged me in all my pursuits and interests. They really were the best parents a kid could ever have and I can, honestly, say that I was tremendously lucky to call them “mine”; even as a kid they made me feel lucky without telling me I was. it's only now, years later they told me that the main reason was because, as parents, it was their obligation to us to provide the best possible life they could; that they owed it to us.
That having been said, I do not believe that I could ever, under any circumstance, be that unselfish and giving to any other human being on earth (with the exception of my husband). As much as I love my friends and feel as strongly for them as other people feel about their family, there is still a limit to how giving I would be with them. My parents love was…is…completely limitless. they are the bar i measure all parents by. God forbid I was a parent, I’m confident that I would be forever comparing myself to them and find myself to be a dismal failure; there’s absolutely no way I could do without for the sake of a child who, may, turn out to be just as ungrateful and “entitled” as 90% of the kids I see every day. I’m just not that kind of person.
The wii is mine; no you can’t have a turn.
Saturday mornings are mine; I’m not blowing off my sock making class to take you to violin lessons.
The muscle car is mine; mini-van my ass.
My disposable income is mine; braces? The cannery has good dental, or so I hear.
(most importantly) CawfeeMate is mine; if there’s one thing you learn, as you go through This Gay Life, it’s to be wary of anyone younger and cuter than yourself*; there’s no way in hell I’m letting the wolf in when he knocks.
i give all of you (gay and straight) who decide to become parents, alot of credit for jumping into that with both feet, but it's just not me. I’ll admit it readily and with little shame: I’m a selfish faggot and, yes, i'm judging you by how you raise your kids.
*the puppy doesn't count as he has a brain the size of a ceci pea and no opposable thumbs.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Sophia Petrillo: Sicily
special thanks to my best girl, Mrs. Bri-the-Pie-Guy, for posting this on Facebook!
Monday, December 07, 2009
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Totally Random Thought of the Day
Green Lantern (not to be confused with Breen Lantern) wears white opera gloves and has a huge, fabulous, ring which makes him "super"...i'm just sayin'...
Monday, September 28, 2009
Gays of Future Past
anyone who knows me can probably attest that, when it comes to my looks, i'm not a "blow my own horn" kinda guy; if anything, i've been told (by CawfeeMate) that i have more than a few body dismorphic issues. this is, conservatively speaking, a pretty fair assesment of me. having grown up with a weight problem and other issues, i'm usually very uncomfortable and unhappy with how i look. i seldom believe the odd compliment i may receive, and it's extremely rare when i feel young, handsome and/or thin. yesterday, though, i felt all three at the same time. i owe it all to being in a room of eight older (55+), overweight, unattractive gay men at a brunch hosted by a friend of CawfeeMate. call it "schadenfreude for the vain".
we had been, invited a number of weeks ago by a friend whom CawfeeMate sees almost annually; for argument's sake, i'll refer to this friend as HowOdd*.Anyway, the invitation was for a 1pm brunch in Queens. no other details (ie. guestlist) were included in the e-mail invite and even while driving there we wondered if it would be mutual friends of CawfeeMate and HowOdd, from the hospital they had both worked at (HowOdd had recently retired). When we walked in, i was immediately struck with the knowledge that, for the 1st time in a very long time, i was the youngest person in the room by about 25 years (with CawfeeMate coming a very close second by being only 7 years my senior). Ordinarily, facts like that don't really phase me; like Nicky Arnstein (and a sponge), i can usually fit in almost anywhere. i've always hung out with a slightly older crowd and have been attracted to/enjoyed the company of older men, so i'm fairly comfortable with the salt-and-peppered hair set. this group, though, was another story. Our arrival was met with the cocktail party silence of a group of people, who already know each other, sizing up the newbies. introductions were made and CawfeeMate and i stood together, nursing our Bloody Marys, till brunch was served. during the 15 or 20 minutes between our arrival and the food observed the following:
*HowOdd was CawfeeMate's supervisor at a previous job and despite their sigificant age difference (both HowOdd and his boyfriend are in their early sixties), HowOdd's incredibly strange sense of humor and CawfeeMate's change of jobs they remained friendly.
we had been, invited a number of weeks ago by a friend whom CawfeeMate sees almost annually; for argument's sake, i'll refer to this friend as HowOdd*.Anyway, the invitation was for a 1pm brunch in Queens. no other details (ie. guestlist) were included in the e-mail invite and even while driving there we wondered if it would be mutual friends of CawfeeMate and HowOdd, from the hospital they had both worked at (HowOdd had recently retired). When we walked in, i was immediately struck with the knowledge that, for the 1st time in a very long time, i was the youngest person in the room by about 25 years (with CawfeeMate coming a very close second by being only 7 years my senior). Ordinarily, facts like that don't really phase me; like Nicky Arnstein (and a sponge), i can usually fit in almost anywhere. i've always hung out with a slightly older crowd and have been attracted to/enjoyed the company of older men, so i'm fairly comfortable with the salt-and-peppered hair set. this group, though, was another story. Our arrival was met with the cocktail party silence of a group of people, who already know each other, sizing up the newbies. introductions were made and CawfeeMate and i stood together, nursing our Bloody Marys, till brunch was served. during the 15 or 20 minutes between our arrival and the food observed the following:
- with the exception of myself and CawfeeMate, everyone assembled was either retired or ten minutes away from retirement.
- one man had, perhaps, the worst wig/toupee i have ever seen, bar none in a completely unbelievable shade of red as to suggest Raggedy Andy or Ronald McDonald. within 5 minutes of meeting him it struck me that he was also incredibly pretentious, bordering on obnoxious.
- two gentlemen had obvious dye jobs (c'mon mary, nobody's hair is that black after the age of forty. who are you, Anne Miller?)
- one couple (there were three) looked like brothers.
- one of the guys was a retired figure skater!
- this was the pre-Stonewall generation
- they'd all, obviously, survived the 80's and the AIDS epidemic.
- with the exception of WigMan, they were all exceptionally interesting to talk to, having been "there" and done "that" several decades before i was even a thought.
- we're everywhere and have been forever
- talk of Shirley Bassey, clubs and drag queens transcends every gay generation
*HowOdd was CawfeeMate's supervisor at a previous job and despite their sigificant age difference (both HowOdd and his boyfriend are in their early sixties), HowOdd's incredibly strange sense of humor and CawfeeMate's change of jobs they remained friendly.
Lighten Up Faggot (or You're a Card)
saturday, the huz and i went to my favorite godson's 1st birthday party. while standing around and chit chatting with my friends and their family, they asked if we had seen the new ABC sitcom Modern Family, which had premiered Wednesday night. i admitted we hadn't, but that it hadn't looked all that funny to us*. they unanimously proceeded to disagree and tell us that it was that funny, so when we got home from the party we watched it on ABC.com.
very long story short ('cuz this isn't intended to be a review of the show), it really was a great pilot; the preconcieved notions i had** about it were completely dashed and i really enjoyed it. the reason i'm brining it up is because the 1st scene you meet the gay couple, they're on a plane picking up their newly adopted vietnamese baby and are uptight about the flight home; in the face of what appears to be an anti-gay slur. one of the guys gets up an gives "the speech".
i'm sure you know "the speech". we all have "a speech". it's that anti-anti-gay tirade we all have practiced, a thousand times, in our heads; it may a couple of words or a couple of pages worth, but we'd love to deliver to right-wing, conservative shitheads who snicker and laugh and heckle us when we walk through the mall or down the street holding hands or sit too close on the train. "the speech" is reactionary and/or caustic and typically knee-jerk liberal finger wagging. well, friday night i got to deliver a few lines of my "speech" at the Hallmark store in the Staten Island mall.
Non-Pregnant Juno Looking Cashier Girl: did you find everything you were looking for?
CawfeeGuy: no actually i didn't. unless you have a section for "Congratulations on your Domestic Partnership*** or Non-Federally-Recognized Marriage" that i didn't see.
NPJLCG: Um...what?
CG: Never mind.
NPJLC: wait...do you mean, like, gay marriage?
CG: yeah. forget it. Hallmark doesn't make a card for that.
NPJLC: actually we do.
CG: huh?
NPJLC: Follow me.
Hallmark had about 10 or 12 cards, specifically for same-sex weddings (with two tuxes or wedding dresses, rainbows, penguins, etc on them), in their own little section next to the other wedding cards. suffice to say, i left there with a terribly red face, but with blog and cocktail party fodder.
my point in all this, is that the scene in Modern Family was so funny because it was so real. We (the gays), are constantly on guard against "attacks" and "injustice" that, sometimes, we're as hair-trigger-sensitive as a Tom & Jerry mousetrap; seeing it on t.v. (especially after friday night) was just perfect timing (for me) because it really hit home. We need to lighten up, fellas. Sometimes...i'd hazard to say most times... "the speech" is totally warranted and necessary; but there are other times when, comically, it's the complete opposite. during the lattter, we need to be able to step back and laugh at ourselves. truth to be told, i think if we laughed at ourselves more often we'd be alot more...gay.
*in truth, CawfeeMate had called me up on wednesday morning and asked if i had heard of the new "gay sitcom" and i felt compelled to correct him that it was just "a sitcom with gays" and not the next Will & Grace after having seen an ad on the subway.
** that the gay couple would just be 2 dimensional punchlines for tired old jokes about 2 fags and a baby
*** two our friends, Chris and Patrick, went down to Staten Island Borough Hall, on Friday, and got...domestically partnered...which totally deserved a card.
very long story short ('cuz this isn't intended to be a review of the show), it really was a great pilot; the preconcieved notions i had** about it were completely dashed and i really enjoyed it. the reason i'm brining it up is because the 1st scene you meet the gay couple, they're on a plane picking up their newly adopted vietnamese baby and are uptight about the flight home; in the face of what appears to be an anti-gay slur. one of the guys gets up an gives "the speech".
i'm sure you know "the speech". we all have "a speech". it's that anti-anti-gay tirade we all have practiced, a thousand times, in our heads; it may a couple of words or a couple of pages worth, but we'd love to deliver to right-wing, conservative shitheads who snicker and laugh and heckle us when we walk through the mall or down the street holding hands or sit too close on the train. "the speech" is reactionary and/or caustic and typically knee-jerk liberal finger wagging. well, friday night i got to deliver a few lines of my "speech" at the Hallmark store in the Staten Island mall.
Non-Pregnant Juno Looking Cashier Girl: did you find everything you were looking for?
CawfeeGuy: no actually i didn't. unless you have a section for "Congratulations on your Domestic Partnership*** or Non-Federally-Recognized Marriage" that i didn't see.
NPJLCG: Um...what?
CG: Never mind.
NPJLC: wait...do you mean, like, gay marriage?
CG: yeah. forget it. Hallmark doesn't make a card for that.
NPJLC: actually we do.
CG: huh?
NPJLC: Follow me.
Hallmark had about 10 or 12 cards, specifically for same-sex weddings (with two tuxes or wedding dresses, rainbows, penguins, etc on them), in their own little section next to the other wedding cards. suffice to say, i left there with a terribly red face, but with blog and cocktail party fodder.
my point in all this, is that the scene in Modern Family was so funny because it was so real. We (the gays), are constantly on guard against "attacks" and "injustice" that, sometimes, we're as hair-trigger-sensitive as a Tom & Jerry mousetrap; seeing it on t.v. (especially after friday night) was just perfect timing (for me) because it really hit home. We need to lighten up, fellas. Sometimes...i'd hazard to say most times... "the speech" is totally warranted and necessary; but there are other times when, comically, it's the complete opposite. during the lattter, we need to be able to step back and laugh at ourselves. truth to be told, i think if we laughed at ourselves more often we'd be alot more...gay.
*in truth, CawfeeMate had called me up on wednesday morning and asked if i had heard of the new "gay sitcom" and i felt compelled to correct him that it was just "a sitcom with gays" and not the next Will & Grace after having seen an ad on the subway.
** that the gay couple would just be 2 dimensional punchlines for tired old jokes about 2 fags and a baby
*** two our friends, Chris and Patrick, went down to Staten Island Borough Hall, on Friday, and got...domestically partnered...which totally deserved a card.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Top 10 Reasons (You'll Never Read Anywhere Else) Why You Should Be Glad to Be Gay
1. we've got Ellen
2. you’ll never get rip roaring drunk and wake up to find you’ve accidentally adopted a crack baby
3. straight people assume you’re having more fun and better sex than they are (and you usually are)
4. cruising areas
5. gay clubs never have a dress code
6. meeting someone you’re interested in, who has the same 1st name as you, is infinitely less creepy and disturbing
7. gay porn stars are way hotter
8. gay bars never have brawls (unless there are lesbians there)
9. Double the gender means double the wardrobe!
10. your friends will never let you leave the house with bad eyebrows.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
An Open Letter to The Ex I Saw on the Bus Last Night
wow! it's been years* since we saw each other last (coincidentally, I’m pretty sure you were the last guy I dated before I met CawfeeMate); you still look really good** and haven’t changed, a bit***. I had forgotten how into music**** you were and how many stories you had*****! Congratulations again on getting engaged! I think it’s really great that you found someone; he must be a really great guy and I hope everything goes well with the wedding. Anyway, I’m glad we got to chat on the bus ride home****** and I hope we’ll bump into each other again*******!
*well, not exactly years; i've seen you on the bus a few times, since I switched routes last January, but i've never felt the need to acknowledge you because i thought it would be awkward; but since the last time saw each other on the bus we've become Facebook friends, and i'm guessing that's what prompted you to say hi and ask to sit next to me.
** translation: if we were both single, i'd totally fuck you, again.
*** that stutter hasn’t improved has it? y’know, the one that makes you repeat repeat repeat repeat the same word or word or word or sentence a couple of times before you get it out? God that was annoying…still is, actually. Between the stutter and the completely uninteresting content, your stories seem to take forever. Were you always this much of a bore? God, maybe that’s why I stopped seeing you.
**** nobody should ever tell somebody else, “because I’m a musician, I tend to hear music differently than most; that’s why I can truly appreciate how amazing Madonna’s Hard Candy is” you pompous bore. BTW: i've heard your "music" and i can understand why you're producing your own albums; the 1st two make wonderful coasters when i can't find my copy of Confessions On the Dancefloor.
******* actually, I just hope I’m quick enough to feign sleep next time.
*well, not exactly years; i've seen you on the bus a few times, since I switched routes last January, but i've never felt the need to acknowledge you because i thought it would be awkward; but since the last time saw each other on the bus we've become Facebook friends, and i'm guessing that's what prompted you to say hi and ask to sit next to me.
** translation: if we were both single, i'd totally fuck you, again.
*** that stutter hasn’t improved has it? y’know, the one that makes you repeat repeat repeat repeat the same word or word or word or sentence a couple of times before you get it out? God that was annoying…still is, actually. Between the stutter and the completely uninteresting content, your stories seem to take forever. Were you always this much of a bore? God, maybe that’s why I stopped seeing you.
**** nobody should ever tell somebody else, “because I’m a musician, I tend to hear music differently than most; that’s why I can truly appreciate how amazing Madonna’s Hard Candy is” you pompous bore. BTW: i've heard your "music" and i can understand why you're producing your own albums; the 1st two make wonderful coasters when i can't find my copy of Confessions On the Dancefloor.
***** the one about kicking your mom out of your apartment? priceless! the one about your testicle which was twisted inside your scrotum? a total gas!
****** because even though it seemed to take 3 days to get home, it really and truly reminded me how great CawfeeMate is and how much I appreciate him; which I old him, the second I got in the car.******* actually, I just hope I’m quick enough to feign sleep next time.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
June Is GLBT Pride Month XXII
"Soldiers who are not afraid of guns, bombs, capture, torture or death say they are afraid of homosexuals. Clearly we should not be used as soldiers; we should be used as weapons". ~Letter to the editor, The Advocate
Monday, June 29, 2009
June Is GLBT Pride Month XXI
"More people have been slaughtered in the name of religion than for any other single reason. That, my friends, that is true perversion.”~ Harvey Milk
Friday, June 26, 2009
June Is GLBT Pride Month XX
"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision".~Lynn Lavner
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Boys On the Side
Once upon a time, it was 1970. We were here, queer, outta the closets and in the streets. In the Boys in the Band, we were also on the big screen showing the country "exactly" what it meant to be a Big Apple Faggot: self-mutilating, self-pitying, self-loathing, vain, shallow, hateful and miserable people.the huz and i sat down last night and watched it, again. i'd seen it once, a number of years ago and he'd seen it a couple of times over the years (and always maintains how much he dislikes it). after 2 viewings, i have to admit: i like the movie. like one of the characters say, halfway in, "it's like watching a car wreck; you don't want to look, but can't look away". i like it the way i like Desperate Housewives and Dynasty: marginally good looking, barely 3 dimensional, people doing awful things to each other while drinking heavily and trading wickedly funny verbal barbs at each other; it's like watching Queer As Folk: the Movie, with that '70's sense of "beautiful" (even ugly, paunchy people, with crooked teeth and bad noses, were sex symbols); and, just like QAF, i'm sure both gay and straight people watched it and took it as gospel truth ("god, how can they call themselves 'gay' when they're so unhappy") but, that's the power of the mass media. i'm also pretty sure it spawned a whole generation of faggots that walked out shaking their heads thinking "if that's what it means to be queer in the city, i'm stayin' in muncie" (if it even made it to muncie) and haven't been heard of or seen since (except in truckstop and department store restrooms).
this movie was the anti-Stonewall.
it's also a wildly entertaining, compelling and thought provoking melodrama and definitely in the Top 10 Must sees of Gay Cinema experiences; if for no other reason than as a reminder of who we were, who we thought we had to be, and who we should never become.
June Is GLBT Pride Month XIX
in honor of Cinnamon Jenkinz triumphant return to the blogverse...
"Maybe what a gay icon is, is a person who is rooted for – in other words, cheered on – by people who feel different"~ Liza Minelli
"Maybe what a gay icon is, is a person who is rooted for – in other words, cheered on – by people who feel different"~ Liza Minelli
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
June Is GLBT Pride Month XVIII
"Family need not be defined merely as those with whom you share blood but for those for whom you would give your blood"~ Nathan Lane
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