To All the Girls

i'm having a thought, lemme know what you think: National Fag Hag Appreciation Day.
yes yes the title does need work, but what are the other euphemisms for Fag Hag? Fruit Fly? Faggot Magnet? hmmm no those don't sound much better. anyway...

these ladies get us. the jokes, the asides, the movie quotes, the song lyrics, and the eyebrow raises. They understand what shits men can be. They’re the shoulders we lean on after our break ups. they're the acid test for our new boy friends. they’re with us at the bars and in the clubs, laughing at the tales of ribaldry and scathing witticisms; basking in the glow of fabulousness. at the mall, they listen with rapt attention and play the home game of What Not to Wear. at countless weddings, bar mitzvahs, christenings, New Years parties, or any other event where a date is mandatory; they’re the girl on your arm, playing the role of “Dream Date” when the situation calls for slipping into a suit and the closet.

She’s the girl your mother would’ve loved to have had as a daughter-in-law. She’s the girl you took to the prom. She knew you when you were fat (or incredibly skinny) and the bigger kids beat you up. she was the 1st person to recognize how fabulous you were or could be. Fag hags come in as many sizes and shapes as there are pebbles on a beach, but they all have one thing in common: they love gay men. love 'em like chocolate. love 'em like Don Imus loves a good racist slur. They’re the backbone of the Gay Community and it’s time they’re recognized for their vital role in our lives.

We already have TV shows, books, songs and movies detailing our relationship with these wonderful women. So, I propose that we all right our congressman and have the 2nd to last Sunday in June (it has to be during Pride month) National Fag Hag Appreciation Day. there'll be flowers, candy, stippers, it'll be fun for the whole "family". Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents all get a day of recognition. why not the girl who probably puts up with alot more of your shit?

so on that 2nd to last sunday, take your fag hag to brunch or to the mall for some shopping. tell her you love her and that you recognize exactly how much she means to you. let her know that you know that you're only as fabulous as she tells you that you are.

"I'd rather die, than satisfy their curiousity/I'm kind of shy and dry, and verging on ugly/They wonder what that I have got, that they have not/They'll never understand that none of that matters/Every boy and man feeling lonely/Can't understand why you'd be with me/Furthermore, we laugh and we draw/More attention everyday, so they say"~ Bet She's Not Your Girlfriend (the Pet Shop Boys)