Bleeech Friday

this is the 1st Black Friday i've worked in about 6 years and, lemme tell you: never again.

my tradition of taking off, the day after Thanksgiving, dates back to my days in retail. See, for those of you who don't know, i was a retail whore for close to ten years. The Staten Island Mall was my stomping ground, and i worked the corner of a Ma & Pop suit store (where i spent nearly 9 years) and Sam Goody, throughout college and beyond. looking back with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, smeared with the vaseline of being a corporate/finance drone, i can honestly say that those were good days; the hours were great, the pay was good (well above minimum wage) and i liked the people. Black Friday was the high holy day of retail, which meant a guaranteed open-to-close work day for senior staffers and commission on the sales you made (or those "given" to you by the cashiers). Black Friday set the tone for entire Christmas Season, and its psychotically frenzied atmosphere was a harbinger of the crazy days which lasted till New Year's Eve. it was not at all uncommon for the hours to fly by like minutes, leaving you hungry and thirsty because you'd skipped both breakfast and lunch. it was glorious.

the meaning of Black Friday changed, post-retail. sure i'd haul out the Christmas CD's and start writing out cards, but it also meant i didn't have to work, to make money. joining corporate america meant "paid vacation days" and what better way to use one than to give oneself a 4 day weekend following a bi-annual schlepp to Long Island*? after our 1st Thanksgiving spent on Long Island, i realized that getting home close to midnight and having to get up for work the next day was about as palatable as CawfeeMate's WASP aunt's cooking. There began the tradition of taking off on Black Friday.

Black Friday now took on a new meaning: post-Thanksgiving clean up and Christmas decorating! it was a glorious tradition which went wonderfully smooth, until this year. just like all the previous years, i put my vacation request in on January 2nd and didn't give it a 2nd thought. That is, until K---y, my dimwitted co-worker, came to me in September to let me know she'd be off this week. When i asked her how that was possible, she shrugged and told me that Cunty had granted signed off on her request that day. Apparently, Cunty never put me in for the day; livid does not even begin to explain how i felt.

so, here i am, at work on Black Friday wishing i wasn't. Everybody else in the world seems to be off, but i'm here at my desk (despite the numerous commuting hurdles i had to jump this morning, which got me here half an hour late). it could be worse, though. my office could've had a Door Buster.


*When the huz and i had 1st met, we realized that the holidays would be dicey. Both coming from Italian-American backgrounds, the holidays are a big deal to our mothers; in the interest of fairness, equinimity and to minimize agita, we decided to alternate the holidays: Thanksgiving at Casa Del CawfeeGuyMom, Christmas Eve at Chateau CawfeeMateMom, Christmas Day at Casa Del CawfeeGuyMom, Easter at Chateau CawfeeMateMom; the following year we'd switch (despite my mom swearing we spent all the holidays with my in-laws). on the years we'd spend Thanksgiving with the CawfeeMate family, we'd drive out to Long Island which meant leaving early in the morning and getting home late at night (the drive between LI and SI is nothing but bumper to bumber traffic).

His Story

so, we're sitting around this morning, shooting the shit and the subject of Thanksgiving comes up. my co-worker, the infamous K---y, made her usual outta-left-field point:

K: How do we really know that it happened? i mean you weren't there; i wasn't there.
CG: well, people
wrote it down; diaries and letters, etc. it's called
history.
K: yeah,
but how do we know that what people wrote
about actually happened?
CG: wait...you have no problem believing that some guy was born of a virgin, sired by god, walked on water, died and then rose again, but can't wrap your brain around some indians bringing dinner to the pilgrims?

really though...is this what "faith" is?

Conversation of the Day

K---y: these lemon drops are really really good! can you give me the recipe?

CawfeeGuy: sure...it's pretty big though, you may wanna cut it in half.

K: what do you mean?

CG: i mean it makes alot of cookies.

K: Oh...but what's in them?

CG: 8 cups of flour and a cup of Crisco...

K: Crisco? what's that?

CG: huh?

K: what's Crisco?

CG: vegetable shortening.

K: like oil?

CG: no...shortening...it's (kinda) solid.

K: never heard of it.

Work Me Goddammit III: Conversation of the Day

K___y: did you have balloons at your party?
CawfeeGuy: no...i wanted them but stephen said they were too childish. *shrug* whatever.
K: Oh...well i had them at my party....but i think i bought the wrong ones.
CG: what do you mean?
K: well, no matter how much i blew them up...and i blew them till they almost popped, they wouldn't float; they just stayed on the floor.
CG: uh...
K: i thought i tied them with the wrong string...but my friend and i figured out i just bought the wrong kind of balloons.

"... you should have tried to convivnce them they were blowing the wrong kind of air"~ Bri the Pie Guy (via Twitter)

Work Me Goddammit II: E-Mail Vollies

stephen's been working with his hospital's computer system for the last few months, so i now get e-mails from him throughout the day...

-----Original Message-----From: Guy, Cawfee
[mailto:Cawfee.Guy@whereheworks.com]Sent: Friday, October 24, 2008 8:50 AMTo: STEPHEN L_____A
Subject: Convo of the Day

Me: …I like most flowers, except for carnations.
K____: yeah…they remind me of funerals.
Me: and Baby’s Breath…I can’t stand Baby’s Breath.
K____y: oh yeah! it’s the smell of the old formula…it’s just nasty…
-------------------------------------
From: STEPHEN L_____A [mailto:SL___A@SomeHospital.org] Sent: Friday, October 24, 2008 11:13 AM
To: Guy, Cawfee
Subject: RE: Convo of the Day

Thats great!
my favorite quote today was from a danbury mint commercial on TV this morning.
Advertizing uncirculated coin collection.
"ACT NOW! Get your piece of history before its gone FOREVER!"

I find that this is the problem with history, Its never really gone. Just ask X-Gov. McGreevey!