Spinning a Yarn

I think I may have hit the “point of no return” with my interest in the “fiber arts”. I mean, I’m definitely hooked on knitting and have, very recently, observed the merits of knowing how to crochet; I even dabbled with it last week, on a scarf I was determined to keep from being completely hideous. No, what I’m talking about is finally reaching that point where other people, not involved with knitting/crochet would cock their muggle eyebrow and question my sanity. You know the point I’m talking about; every hobby/activity has one. a point where the hobby/activity/interest almost looks like “religion”; take the Trekkies:

1. watching the occasional episode of Star Trek while high
2. watching them all (chronologically) on Netflix, straight
3. joining an online discussion board about Star Trek
4. attending a convention
5. naming your pet after either a character/actor
6. attending a convention in costume
7. writing “fan fiction”
8. traveling to another state to attend a convention
9. having a Star Trek themed wedding*
10. naming your child after either a character or actor*

right around #6 is when people might organize the intervention.

Darn Tootin

Please note that this post is pieced together from a couple of“Private Messages” I sent to a gal from Ravelry, with some original content thrown in for back-story and stuff.

My wait for my elusive needles is finally at an end (or, at least, it was). Last week I got an e-mail from the lady (and you know I don’t throw that word around lightly*), who owns DyakCraft, saying my last order (placed November 1st-ish), was shipping; a few days later, I got the shipping notification from Stamps.com.

Service With a Smile

My regular reader(s) know(s) I’m a bit of a stickler nag bitch when it comes to retail customer service. There are more than a few posts on this blog about businesses which provided (in my opinion) sub-par experiences; businesses that I’m resolved to neither use again, nor recommend to my reader(s)/friends. You can read about those experiences here.

There are, though, some businesses that continually do right by me; businesses, products and services that I’ll gladly recommend to you, my reader(s), and my friends. You can read about them, here, but I’d wait until after you read about the following two businesses which are currently setting my heart a-flutter (in a good way).

Open for Business

So after about a year of kicking the idea around with CawfeeMate, and with Magenta as my seasoned business advisor, I’ve finally started selling my wares to my adoring public on Etsy! The shop has been up and running for about 2 weeks and I’ve already had a couple of special orders; a former co-worker commissioned a puppy sweater like one I made for Rufus and her friend commissioned a pair of fingerless gloves. I’ve also created a Facebook page to promote the business, so people can see other stuff I’ve made and get ideas for what they may want.

Reading Listening is Fundamental

Before I became an avid knitter, I was an avid reader. My utterly ridiculous commute lends itself to between two and three hours of downtime a day and I’m not the “sit around twiddling his thumbs” kinda fella. I would spend that time reading (or playing my Nintendo DS) and was able to bang out a book or two every week. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t exactly reading the Idiot or Gone with the Wind, I was mostly reading fluffy fiction that didn’t weigh too heavily on my brain (or my bag); ‘escape reading’ I call it. It was a great way to kill the time between work and home, though it still left me antsy and frustrated when the trip took too long. It wasn’t like knitting, where I often hope for a subway delay or traffic so I can work a few more rows; it also taught me the valuable lesson of having a 2nd book in my bag (or, later, queued upon my Kindle) which now has become having a back-up project with me in case I finish what I’m working on. Anyway, I’ve always loved to read and, as much as I love knitting more, I miss it. There are more than a few authors who’ve put out new titles since I stopped reading and I’m sort of anxious to find out what they’re up to. So, how can I get back into reading without sacrificing my coveted knitting time? Audio books.

It Can Get Better

A few weeks ago, a friend updated his Facebook status to say:

“I am so sick of all the ‘stop the hate. Together’ and associated ‘it gets better’ bullshit. Enough with the pussification of america. How about ‘sometimes it sucks’ and ‘stick up for youself’ and ‘don’t be a coward’ hate and bullying are a lot older than any of us and cannot be stopped. Teach independence, not cowardice”.

Naturally, I was outraged. A few weeks later, I posted a link to Unicorn Booty’s article on the suicide of Jamie Hubley with the comment “he shoulda just manned up, right” and his response was:

“Well, he did want to be a unicorn. Self cutting? Suicide blogs? Where’s mom and dad? Sad, yes, but necessary, no. I was the only out gay kid in HS and I got out and graduated in 3 years rather than taking a swan dive off a bridge. My point is, there are options other than suicide. Now it seems almost fashionable, which, in my opinion, only increases the level of cowardice of the act”.

again, I was outraged...but a little less so... See, on one hand he’s right. Where were this kid’s parents? Teachers? Didn’t his doctor/pediatrician notice the kid was cutting himself?

That said, I continued with the outrage…

Knitting Takes Balls

Last Thursday, I shared a 2 hour car ride to Long Island* with three straight guys; one was a (new) co-worker, the other was his brother-in-law and the 3rd a mutual friend of theirs. Don’t get me wrong, I was mad lucky that the brother-in-law worked close by and offered to pick us up. The two hour car ride, though, was spent with the three of them talking ‘sport’. Now, please don’t misunderstand: I am eternally grateful that I got the ride (and thanked the driver profusely). Had I not been with my co-worker, I’d have been totally screwed; I would’ve had to wait until the trains ran again at 11:30, since I don’t know how else to get to LI from DT Brooklyn. I’m also not complaining that I couldn’t join in the conversation; I was the odd man out. I don’t need to talk and actually am okay with being silent while other people talk around me; I was fine not engaging in the ball related chit-chat.

What're You Sellin'?

I absolutely love posting pics of my FO’s on Facebook. It’s incredibly gratifying when my FB friends treat everything I post like the most awesome thing they’ve ever seen and pepper the pics with comments dripping in praise; It’s a total ego boost and I fully intend to keep posting as long as they continue to oooh and aaah.

on DPNS and Needles

I’m on project/pattern overload.

1. “Fake it ‘Til You Make It” (a mock Fair Isle hat): I finished the scarf in less than a week now I’m determined to finish a matching-ish hat within the next few days. I say matching-ish only because the scarf is striped while the hat is geometrically patterned, but they’re made with the same two yarns.

2. “Toe Me Up, Toe Me Down” (My 1st Toe-Up socks): I’ve seen a crap load of awesome patterns on Knitty for socks that are made from the toe up (as opposed to from the top down) and finally broke down and signed up for the Yarn Girl’s “Advanced Sock” class, this weekend, with my mom. It’s a whole new concept for me and I’m incredibly intrigued. She’s also going to teach me how to work the socks on two circs (as opposed to 3 or 4 dpns) and using a “french heel” (whatever that means). The class is going to run for the next few weekends so I’m going to be engrossed in making the socks work.

3. “Thoroughly Modern Moshe” (My 1st Yarmulke): my photographer brother-in-law just asked me to knit one for him when he shoots Bar/Bat mitzvahs and other Jewish events. So, browsing through Ravelry, I found the coolest pattern which looks fun and challenging. plus I’ve got so much fun yarn in my stash that would really look great as a yarmulke!

4. “Baby Blanket Bingo” (Baby Blanket): yup, another friend is preggers and since I love her more than my luggage, she deserves a baby blanket for the kid*. I found a really cool pattern that I’m excited to try and ordered some washable wool yarn from the Yarn Girl in an appropriately neutral color that should really make it pop. It may take me her entire pregnancy, but I’m determined.


There’s also a ton of stuff on my Ravelry queue and in the book my mom gave me for my birthday, that're cool and challenging**; which is exactly what I want. I like that  i've been progressing slowly and steadily and that every "next thing" I knit has been the next step in the my learning process. That’s why I love this hobby: even when I feel like I’ve got something down, there’s always something new to learn, right around the corner.

now if only i had the time to do them all...

* Blankets are the only thing I’ll make for kids ‘cuz they won’t outgrow them; also, it’s really for the parents anyway
** like this bag that MS and I will, hopefully, knit together like we did with our Wallabys

Might I Have a Word?

So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve become sort-of addicted to Words With Friends. I say sort-of, because despite the fact that I have eleven games going, with people from almost every facet of my life*, I think it’s a pretty healthy addiction.

When I was a kid, we had Family Game night, once every few weeks (and after dinner on major holidays). Often it was either Trivial Pursuit or Uno, but every once in a while it’d be Scrabble. Looking back, our games probably weren’t high scoring ones; I think we all wanted to put down a “good” word more than we wanted to maximize our points. I know that, for me, it was all about showing off my vocabulary. Winning was a happy accident and fifteen point words were the norm. It’s only now, almost twenty years later, that I realize that other people (read: everyone else who plays the game) are actually playing to win and the best way to do that is to get the most points for each word they put down. Yeah, I know, this seems elementary, but I never put the two things together until CawfeeMate, Breen Lantern and Magenta Sequins started laying down forty and fifty point words; doubling or tripling my score and beating me by one hundred and fifty points or more. CawfeeMate was nice enough to explain to me that while DJIN is a fun word, unless it’s on a double or triple word multiplier, it’s not worth putting on the board.

So, I learned strategy:

1. always save your S’s
2. build off the beginning or end of another word to get double the points
3.  sometimes it’s better to put down a 3 point word on this turn and let your opponent open up the path to the double word or triple letter multiplier
4.  if you have to swap out letters, it’s not worth swapping less than 5 (see #1)
5. get rid of Qs, Js, Xs and Zs as soon as you can

I also learned how frustrating electronic scrabble is:

1. QI, JO and XI have to be the most frustrating two letter words on the planet; almost nobody knows what they mean, but everyone uses them to unload those pesky letters that are otherwise impossible to use later in the game.
2. The “random distribution” of letters is frequently debatable; I just went through a two week drought where, in almost every game I was playing, I never had fewer that either five vowels or five consonants and at least two sets of duped letters
3. there are no two letter words that start with either the C or V
4. I have no idea what dictionary the game uses, but I’d love to know how it defines words like JANE, TURFY, and RIAL.
5. Some people cheat using other iPhone apps; those people never get a rematch.

All in all, though, I’m loving this game. I like being able to chat with people I don’t get to interact with, otherwise; it’s also makes a nice diversion from knitting straight through my daily commute to and from work and from work itself (where i can't knit). It’s also nice to know that even though certain players continue to kick my ass with 75 point words I’ve never seen, I can occasionally beat them (even if it is only one game out of every ten we play).

send me an invite, but be warned: now that i've got a strategy i'm a little harder to beat...until i get stuck with three I's  a Q, Z, J & X again...
*High School classmates, former co-workers from my 1st Mall Job, current co-workers, Blog buddies, Facebook Friends, actual friends, and even friends & co-workers of CawfeeMate

My Semi-Annual Post

Wow. Another six months have gone by since I last blogged. Ain’t that some shit?

So what, you may ask, has happened in those last six months? Quite alot, actually, but here are some of thee highlights…

• CawfeeMate finally finished his doctorate in Physical Therapy, making him Dr. CawfeeMate DPT and me a ridiculously proud doctor’s wife. His graduation was marked by a trip to Phoenix, Arizona where I promptly fell in love with another city that is anywhere but New York.
• I finally finished my goddamn Wallaby, after about nine months and love how it came out! Somewhere around the six month mark I hit a proverbial snag and was left incredibly discouraged and frustrated. I put it down for about two months and then went back with fresh eyes and fingers (working on quite a few other projects in the interim). Its completion was a catalyst to broaden my repertoire and challenge my abilities within those categories. I now crank out socks, gloves, hats, coffee cup cozies and (my current piece) a laptop cover, in all sorts of stitch and cable patterns. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from The Yarn Girl, Magenta Sequins and YouTube. I’ve also begun to take requests from friends and family and have started making gifts for people other than CawfeeMate.
• My other great obsession, which rivals knitting, is Words With Friends on the iPhone. I’ve got eleven games going, at the moment, and usually spend half my commute (and part of the day), trying my best not to have my ass handed to me by the likes of Breen Lantern and Magenta Sequins.  Luckily, Bri-the-Pie-Guy doesn't play.
• Very recently, I left the department which caused me nothing but heartache and misery for more than two years; choosing staying within the same company. this follows a huge bout of layoffs which pared down my old department to bare bones and had me working 60+ hours a week. So far, it’s been a better move for me, at least inasmuch as I finally get to spend time with CawfeeMate and Rufus. Plus, it’s great knowing that the job which I did now takes three people. I’m really looking forward to all the challenges that have come with the move.

I think I have a couple of more posts in me, which I’ll probably be able to get down in the next few days, so stay tuned…

the Wonderful Wallaby of Oz

every step I take with this wallaby, I’m completely blown away with what I’m doing. I didn’t think I’d ever be at this point in under a year; making an actual, wearable sweater.

I thought it would be alot harder (not that I’m complaining) to create something. It’s a total trip to see the pieces taking shape as I’m knitting; like, right now, at the end of my size 8’s I’ve got my right sleeve…or maybe the left…I doesn’t matter, the point is it’s a frickin sleeve, people!

Knit Wittery

I'm sure you remember, back before I'd taken my "blog hiatus", that I was in a desperate search for a way to focus my creative energy; work was slowly sucking the life out of me on a daily basis and blogging just wasn't cutting it. i felt like i spent 90% of my current life being a soulless automaton  in an enormous corporate production of It's a Small World and it was incredibly depressing. I needed to make something; put something...anything..."out there".

as some of my readers know, before I was a white collar drone I was a retail queen. retail offered oodles of time for creative pursuits. when worked retail I wrote hundreds of really bad poems and drew, in my spare time. back in college i was an "actor" in the campus' theater group, starring in 3 productions a year four the four years I was
there. in short, I'd never not  had a creative outlet or arena of expression.

I'd thought about taking a cake decorating class at the local Michael's or A.C. Moore, but couldn't find one to fit into my schedule. plus, how much cake can you really eat? then I thought about ceramics/pottery, but there's nothing like that on La Isla del Staten; apparently SI housewives don't like mud, who knew? manhattan was out of the question because of the commute. i was completely frustrated. i hated my job, had no time to myself to do the things i wanted to do and was angry because of the overwhelming feelings of suffocation from both.

then one weekend Magenta and Chewie came over and M had a project she was itching to show me. now, she'd been knitting for a couple of years and, while I'd always been really interested in seeing what she was cranking out, it never seemed like a viable hobby for me. I mean really though, how many guys do you know who knit? knitting was for grandmas and creepy, crunchy, cat ladies; it's a woman's hobby. then I had a two pronged media inspired epiphany.

first, I'd just finished reading Joel Derfner's Swish (My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever), the first chapter of which was all about being a guy who knitted. I was inspired. I mean, yeah, the whole idea of a guy knitting is stereotypically gay, but jumpin judas priest on a pogo stick, I'm secure enough in my masculinity (as fleeting and negligible as it is) and my gaity to march in parades and walk through the mall holding my husband's hand; why not try knitting? surely i'm that gay.

secondly, we'd just watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy where crazy cancerous Izzy spent the entire episode, in bed, knitting a hideous orange and green ribbed scarf. if Katherine Heigel could do it, so could I!

so, about a week after my initial mishap, armed with two size 10's and YouTube, it clicked. a week later, i had made a scarf! the next thing I knew, I was knitting all the time in my spare time; 'cuz see, my "spare time"' is my commuting time and my hour and a half in between getting home from work and going to bed. so, there I was, on the bus, train, subway platform and bench outside my office before work, knitting and purling like a man possessed!

like Joel Derfner, I learned the lingo, the mechanics and the nuances of "good yarn" and "fast needles". scarves, hats, blankets, needle rolls, tea cozies, coffee cup sleeves, iPod socks and headphone pads all tumbled out of my needles. i felt like rumplestiltskin...only taller. i was creating, again and it felt marvelous.

I've been knitting now for about 8 months and am working on my 1st sweater/hoodie, thanks to a great class at my local yarn shop, led by a truly terrific teacher. it's a continual learning process that, sometimes, makes me want to stick a size 6 in my ear, but I'm loving it. I've found a hobby that works for me and makes me feel great; MS and I bounce ideas and patterns off each other and I've never felt closer to her. i also can't thank her enough for introducing me to this art, which under the right circumstances, could turn into a life long habit/addiction that could, potentially bankrupt me. i mean have you seen the price of a good silk/cashmere blend lately?

Sophia Petrillo: Sicily

special thanks to my best girl, Mrs. Bri-the-Pie-Guy, for posting this on Facebook!

Soup Dumplings, Pink Unicorns and That Guy from Buffy

what an amazing weekend it was! the brief re-cap:

1. a couple of days after last weekend's visit, MS asked me to pick up a lovely pink unicorn she had seen in the toy aisle of our local Stop N Shop. it seems she'd found a good home for her. On Saturday, we braved the icy rain/sleet/snow, the SI Ferry and the NYC subway system to bring Frenchie (for that was the unicorn's name) to MS and Dug; but only after we had had some fun with her 1st.


2. the drop off happened at our favorite NY Chinese restaurant, which is home to the world's best* soup dumplings. this was a double bonus: MS & Dug and soup dumplings.


3. while waiting for our table, who happened to wander in with a mini-entourage, but Danny Strong (aka Jonathan Levinson from Buffy)! much debating ensued over whether or not to acknowledge the fact that we were in the company of a b-list celeb (with a-list geek-star street cred), 'til our table was ready. on the way to the table, CawfeeMate stopped and told Danny that we "loved his work". To his credit, Danny seemed genuinely happy to be noticed and thanked us.

dinner was great, as always, but we promised Dug that the next time we met up in the city we'd try a different restaurant (since this is the only one we meet at when we're together). luckily there's an app for that...

*in truth their's are the only soup dumplings i've ever had.

Knit Wit

(the odds of this post actually being witty are pretty slim, as it's monday morning, but i was at a loss for an adequate title)


this weekend, MS and Dug dropped by for an afternoon of facetime...which turned into a weekend of facetime which was alot better than just an afternoon. while Dug and i played Lego Batman on the Wii, MS finished knitting a hat for a young lady (and sometimes model) she happens to know. totally inspired by how great the hat was coming out, i told her that i'd been thinking of learning to knit*, and (in true MS fashion) she jumped at the idea of teaching me.

the next morning, over pancakes and coffee, she sat me down on the couch and commenced the Basics of Knitting. She took it slowly and taught me to "cast on", the "knit stitch", "the purl stitch" and "casting off". in about an hour i had two small rectangles of knitted wool and a belly full of ambition. half an hour later, i walked out of A.C, Moore, $20 lighter, but with my very own set of bamboo knitting needles and some lovely blue wool/acrylic yarn. Visions of scarves, hats, sweaters and gloves for my friends and family filled my head! We returned to my house, kissed, hugged and parted ways. the huz and i then went to the supermarket for the weekly shopping. an hour or two later, i finally sat down to turn out my 1st scarf, in a lovely shade of blue.

i sat there staring at the needles and yarn for, like, 20 minutes. i'd completely forgotten how to "cast on". eventually it clicked, and i was golden. for 30 seconds.

I couldn't figure out how to make the 1st knit stitch. rather than stare blankly for another twenty minutes, I went online and found a YouTube tutorial "the knit stitch". that was fine, for an hour, until I wound up with an extra stitch and couldn't figure out how or why or how to undo what I'd been doing without unraveling everything. this time i sat, dumbly, for only ten minutes before realizing that i had no idea how to "unknit" something. the scarf was unraveled.

hit Ctrl+Alt+delete and start over.

the entire process lasted several hours; the remainder of the afternoon, into the late evening: knitting, screwing up, do-over. i was fine. i was a beginner and destined to fuck up, right? right. everything felt like it was going well. i'd gotten about 30 rows down (maybe a 4" square) without the phantom stitch appearing. all my stitches looked straight! it was pretty! so I figured I'd attempt to purl. big mistake.

an hour later, while watching Desperate Housewives, all i had to show for my day's worth of knitting was one row of stitches. all the time i'd spent knitting was completely undone by my vain and hubristic efforts at purling.

defeated, I put the needles and yarn down and had some hummus and chips. i know i'll tame the yarn, but not in one night.

*CawfeeMate and i have been catching up on old episodes of Grey's Anatomy and i was intrigued that crazy, cancer riddled Izzie could crank out a scarf for Dr. Bailey in one day. how hard could it be?

Top 10 Things I'm Thankful For This Year

1. friends: they're really, honestly, truly like my family and despite the fact that we're all pretty scattered around the country (New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, San Francisco, Florida and Maryland) it's love that makes the distance seem less significant. we may not talk or e-mail or see each other every day, but when we do, it's like we just spoke yesterday. i hope they know that i'd take a bullet for any of them.

2. CawfeeMate: there's nobody, in all the world, who understands me like he does and suffers through my anxieties, tantrums, doldrums and idiocy; i'm so incredibly lucky to have him in my life. there's also nobody, in the world, that i love more than i love him.

3. Rufus: if there's anything better than puppy kisses and the unconditional love that come with them, i don't know what it is...

4. my parents: i know i bitch about them...alot...they're crazy and strange and they make no sense sometimes; they're also incredibly loyal and supportive and loving.

5. Mallomars: what? don't hate.

6. this blog (and its readers): i know i write sporadically (blame the recession), but on the rare occasions i get to post something actually worthwhile (not a quiz or a link to fabulously quirky t-shirts), it feels good. it feels good to have voice "out there" and a soapbox to rant from; it's even nicer knowing that some people are actually listening...

7. blogger friends: just when i think my life is a sit-com, you guys (and girls...and girls who used to be guys...) make me feel totally mainstream and ordinary! seriously though, the blogs i read from all over the world, remind me that we're such a diverse and unique community. you're all brilliant and incredibly sensitive writers.

8. my job: i know i often say i hate it, but in this day and age, any job you can get up in the morning and go to is a good one; especially if you're in the finance industry. besides, i like most of the people i work with; they're good blog fodder.

9. my health: during a recent talk with the huz, it occurred to me that with the exception of that brain tumor a couple of years ago, i'm pretty healthy; i rarely get sick (**knock on wood**) and since i've been exercising and eating better, i feel pretty damn good, much more often than not.

10. i'm queer: shocking, i know, but i really am thankful that i was born this way. aside from these reasons, i'm really so very thankful to be part of the gay community. we're so different, but united by similar experiences and lifestyles. i truly believe that we (ok, most of us) are the last guardians of wit, irony and gothic humor. i also believe that i'm lucky not to have to be saddled with kids (and relieved that they're truly an optional accessory that i am utterly repelled by). being gay in the US, means that we've got so many more options than at any other point in history; we're constantly re-defining our roles in our communities, cities and states. we can get married if we want to...in some parts of the country/world and we can define what those marriages mean. or we can choose not to get hitched. we have the option to be conventional or non-conventional; i think that's pretty damn wonderful and i'm incredibly thankful to be part of this community at this time in history.

happy thanksgiving, all. enjoy your friends and/or families.

"Thanksgiving isn't about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where, with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and Squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach"~ Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Thanks Dr Brian (You're Better, On a Monday Morning, Than My Caramel Latte`)

Buffy: Season 8 Motion Comic

Friday is For Forgiveness, People

i'm sorry about all the quizzes, but i'm too overworked right now for anything more than this. also, my muse seems to be on some sort of sabbatical, lately, and i find i have terribly little to say (outside of a Facebook status update). maybe she's here, or here or here (they seem to have no problem writing new and interesting things, almost daily).
so, yeah...if you guys happen to see my muse, please tell her i miss her.

Phoning It In

So, yeah, the vacation's almost over and the huz and i are about to leave Mary-land, where we spent three really great days with her and her man, at her wedding. everyone looked fabulous, the day was gorgeous and we had a wonderful time. mozol tov, to you two crazy kids!

for no reason, in particular, i thought i'd post this, which a friend of mine sent me on Facebook. i'm not gonna lie, i laughed so hard i cried the 1st time i saw it. Enjoy!