(Don't) Walk On By

Something occurred to me, today, while reading another knitter’s account of how they surreptitiously touch strangers’ knits:

People might think I’m creepy.

Yarn Charades

Once upon a time, I was the assistant manager of a mall music store (Sam Goody, if you’re old enough to remember them). I thought it was going to be fifty shades of Empire Records, but alas, it was not. Oh it had it’s fun moments, to be sure, but Rex Manning never came to visit and schtupp the resident minx, nor did manager look like Anthony La Paglia. It was just another mall job; Hollywood lied to me again. The best part of the job, by far was not chasing shoplifters through the mall, but playing Name That Tune with the customers:

Customer: I’m looking for a song. I don’t know who sings it.
Me: ok…do you know the lyrics..?
Customer: I don’t know who sings it, but it kinda sounds like two guys
Me: gotcha. Can you hum it.
Customer: random tuneless humming and mumbling of lyrics
Me: um. What about the chorus…?
Customer: something about “bright eyes”
Me: do you mean “turn around/bright eyes”..?
Customer: YEAH!!!
Me: um yeah...that’s Bonnie Tyler; Total Eclipse of the Heart
Customer: Great! Gimme the single!
Me: the song is 15 years old; there’s no single
Customer: oh…then forget it.

Bear in mind, this was before iPhones with Shazam or Soundhound or Songify. I was Shazam. Better than that: I was CawfeeBoy: Music Detective, able to use my ridiculously eclectic music taste (and those of my friends who I’d call when stumped) for good and help those who needed it; I was performing a public service for those in need. i used to love those customers, but mostly because I felt superior to them for their ignorance. Never did I think I’d ever become one of those customers.

Spinning a Yarn

I think I may have hit the “point of no return” with my interest in the “fiber arts”. I mean, I’m definitely hooked on knitting and have, very recently, observed the merits of knowing how to crochet; I even dabbled with it last week, on a scarf I was determined to keep from being completely hideous. No, what I’m talking about is finally reaching that point where other people, not involved with knitting/crochet would cock their muggle eyebrow and question my sanity. You know the point I’m talking about; every hobby/activity has one. a point where the hobby/activity/interest almost looks like “religion”; take the Trekkies:

1. watching the occasional episode of Star Trek while high
2. watching them all (chronologically) on Netflix, straight
3. joining an online discussion board about Star Trek
4. attending a convention
5. naming your pet after either a character/actor
6. attending a convention in costume
7. writing “fan fiction”
8. traveling to another state to attend a convention
9. having a Star Trek themed wedding*
10. naming your child after either a character or actor*

right around #6 is when people might organize the intervention.

Darn Tootin

Please note that this post is pieced together from a couple of“Private Messages” I sent to a gal from Ravelry, with some original content thrown in for back-story and stuff.

My wait for my elusive needles is finally at an end (or, at least, it was). Last week I got an e-mail from the lady (and you know I don’t throw that word around lightly*), who owns DyakCraft, saying my last order (placed November 1st-ish), was shipping; a few days later, I got the shipping notification from Stamps.com.

Service With a Smile

My regular reader(s) know(s) I’m a bit of a stickler nag bitch when it comes to retail customer service. There are more than a few posts on this blog about businesses which provided (in my opinion) sub-par experiences; businesses that I’m resolved to neither use again, nor recommend to my reader(s)/friends. You can read about those experiences here.

There are, though, some businesses that continually do right by me; businesses, products and services that I’ll gladly recommend to you, my reader(s), and my friends. You can read about them, here, but I’d wait until after you read about the following two businesses which are currently setting my heart a-flutter (in a good way).

Live and Learn

“Any day you haven’t learned something, is a wasted day”; that’s what my mom always said. So, for the last 35 years, I’ve made it a point to not waste the day. the 1st eighteen years were pretty much a given; something was always new and, by the time I had reached eighteen, I was convinced I knew everything. Luckily I was wrong and still managed to learn a little something about life every day, the most important of which was that I wasn’t done learning. Fast forward to two years ago when I learned to knit; now, every day was a guaranteed learning experience.

Open for Business

So after about a year of kicking the idea around with CawfeeMate, and with Magenta as my seasoned business advisor, I’ve finally started selling my wares to my adoring public on Etsy! The shop has been up and running for about 2 weeks and I’ve already had a couple of special orders; a former co-worker commissioned a puppy sweater like one I made for Rufus and her friend commissioned a pair of fingerless gloves. I’ve also created a Facebook page to promote the business, so people can see other stuff I’ve made and get ideas for what they may want.

I Hate Myself for Loving Ewe

Like most things in my life I have a love/hate relationship with my yarn stash.


There are some yarns that I love which have totally returned the love by making both great end products and a satisfying knitting experience:

Brown Sheep has fantastic stuff. Their Lanaloft collection is phenomenal and was the 1st yarn I ever fell in love with; it comes in the most ridiculously fantastic colorways, knits up beautifully and frogs like a dream (you’d never know you just knit with it). It’s also a lot of bang for the buck, no matter where you buy it. I’ve used it on fingerless gloves, a sweater for the puppy and even a couple of needle rolls for my ever increasing collection of DPNS. Their Lamb’s Pride collection is also really great and I was able to make the infamous Wallaby and CawfeeMate’s favorite hat out of it. I’m also in the middle of a baby blanket using their Superwash Worsted and have been just as impressed with how well that’s working out.

Then there’s Peace Fleece Worsted. This is my absolute favorite yarn in the universe. Love the colors, love the feel, love the price*. I seriously cannot use enough of this stuff because everything I make with it, I love. Another puppy sweater, a laptop cover for my niece, a hat for both my dad and my father-in-law all worked up gorgeously because of this fantastic yarn. If they would make a sock yarn, in the same awesome colorways, I could die a happy knitter.

On the flip side, there are also 2 yarns which I hate to love**…

the Clap

The other day I was on the F train, heading home from work, knitting the 2nd in a pair of socks for the huz, when a woman tapped me on the shoulder to chat. Now, you regular reader(s) of my blog know that this is not uncommon, especially on the train; people women will randomly tap me on the shoulder (on account of my headphones) and tell me one (or all) of the following:

1. how much they like/love/are impressed by whatever I’m knitting
2. relay a quick anecdote about their mother/grandmother knitting
3. how they used to knit when they were a little girl
4. how interesting/odd/nice it is to see a man knitting

Well, this woman was no exception, she tapped my shoulder on Delancy Street and talked me up ‘til I got up at 34th and hit all 4 topics; insisting that I was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen. Though she used to crochet, she wasn’t very good and couldn’t imagine making a sock with such tiny needles (“especially four of them”)! She was an absolute sweetheart and totally made my day, as random well-wishers tend to. See, that’s the thing: I love having strangers (with whom I’d normally have absolutely no social interaction) randomly telling me how awesome I am; it’s become a bit of a drug.

Unwound II: the Response

received this morning.

I am so sorry that your experience with us was less than satisfactory. I would like to address each of the issues that you highlighted in your email. You may not agree with our standpoint, but we like to keep an open dialog with our customers so we may learn and grow. We strive to provide excellent customer service – most of the time we succeed but occasionally we fall short.


1. Pricing – we do sell our yarns for the suggested retail price. The Manos brand has had two price increases in the last 6 months. We are one of the top retailers for Manos in the US and as such we sell through our stock quickly, so all of our stock was purchased at the new “higher” price. Many other stores do not sell as much of this yarn and do not raise their prices until they have to pay the increased price for new inventory, this makes it look like they sell for less, when in fact they do not. There are other sites on the internet that sell the Manos spaced dyed colors for as much as $19 per skein.

2. Winding fee – you may not agree with this, but it is not a free service that we offer. If a customer purchases here in the shop, we do not wind either, but they may use a ball winder and swift if they would like to wind the yarn themselves. This is a service that takes time and we feel it is appropriate to charge the customers who want the service.

3. Photocopied tags – We do not photocopy tags. Occasionally we rip a tag and will replace this with a handwritten tag. We do have one skein of the color you purchased on our shelf with a handwritten tag. It is a cardboard type tag and was received from our supplier that way. The skeins may have seemed wound different because they are. The Manos yarn is made in different locations and done manually, so each person has their unique way of securing the skeins. We have seen some that were very “odd” and difficult to wind, I have taken several skeins off the shelf to check the weight. The other skeins of this color do weigh about 3.3 – 3.4 ounces. I checked other colors and they weigh 3.3 to 3.7 ounces depending on the color. Again, the reeling of the skeins is a manual process and is not exact (but average). You should have the proper amount of yardage. We have questioned our supplier about weights before and were told the amount of dye in a color can change the weight and the thick and thin part of the yarn can vary, so the yardage should be accurate but the weight may vary. I am sorry you feel you received skeins that were either used or short in their yardage.

 

You did question if the skeins were returned, I reviewed our history and find that we have not had a return for this color. When we have a return where we question the weight, we pull the skein out of stock and sell it at a reduced price in our seconds bin.

 

Have a great day.

while i appreciate the reply, i'm afraid it has not changed my opinion of the store.

• it's poor customer services to charge a winding fee.
• there's no way that the dye can make up for .2 oz in the yarn's weight
• i think i know a photocopied piece of paper when i see it

All Wound Up

There are few things that put marzipan in my pie plate, quite like poor customer service. Now, I’ll be the 1st to admit that, having spent a decade or so in retail servitude, I have pretty high standards when it comes to being serviced shopping. Here’s my latest tale of whoa…

Knitting Takes Balls

Last Thursday, I shared a 2 hour car ride to Long Island* with three straight guys; one was a (new) co-worker, the other was his brother-in-law and the 3rd a mutual friend of theirs. Don’t get me wrong, I was mad lucky that the brother-in-law worked close by and offered to pick us up. The two hour car ride, though, was spent with the three of them talking ‘sport’. Now, please don’t misunderstand: I am eternally grateful that I got the ride (and thanked the driver profusely). Had I not been with my co-worker, I’d have been totally screwed; I would’ve had to wait until the trains ran again at 11:30, since I don’t know how else to get to LI from DT Brooklyn. I’m also not complaining that I couldn’t join in the conversation; I was the odd man out. I don’t need to talk and actually am okay with being silent while other people talk around me; I was fine not engaging in the ball related chit-chat.

an Open Letter to Smokey Josephine

I’m really glad you took such a fervent interest in my knitting, while on the bus the other day. It was really nice to hear how your grandmother had taught you to knit when you were a girl and that seeing me work on my fingerless glove just took you right back in time; I really love hearing stories like that (and you’d be surprised how often I do have people tap me on the shoulder to chat about my knitting). You might be wondering why I gave you a simple ‘hello’ this morning, when I sat down next to you (in the only available aisle seat). It’s not because I wasn’t feeling chatty (I mean I wasn’t, but that’s just because I’m ridiculously anti-social before 7 am); it’s your breath…it’s awful.

What're You Sellin'?

I absolutely love posting pics of my FO’s on Facebook. It’s incredibly gratifying when my FB friends treat everything I post like the most awesome thing they’ve ever seen and pepper the pics with comments dripping in praise; It’s a total ego boost and I fully intend to keep posting as long as they continue to oooh and aaah.

Proud Mary Part I (or Easy Bake Sweater)

I was lying in bed the other night, feeling incredibly self-satisfied and proud, having just finished sewing up a cable knit MacBook cover I had made for our college bound niece. It was my first real foray into the art of cable knitting on a large scale (having only worked small cables on socks before), and the end result had far exceeded my expectations. Not one to pat myself on the back for long, it occurred to me that “doing a good job”, in this instance, meant that I read the pattern (which someone else had written) and re-created it without fucking it up; in other words: it wasn’t that I did a “great job” knitting, I did a great job following the instructions.

In a situation like this, it seems a little narcissistic to be proud of myself for being able to read. It almost feels like i made a cake using a boxed mix and canned frosting and then congratulated myself because it tasted wonderful. It’s made to taste wonderful; if you’ve followed the directions on the box correctly; it will always taste the same kinda wonderful, every time you make it.

Confessions of a Yarn Abuser

The other night, CawfeeMate taught me how to make my very first pom-pom for a hat I had finished. While winding the yarn around the cardboard donuts, he told me to wind it “tightly”. When it came time to snip it off the cardboard, he couldn’t because it had made the cardboard buckle and bend under it. before the second attempt he looked at me and said, “when I say ‘wind it tightly’ I mean ‘old lady/grandma-with-arthritis’ tightly. Not ‘I’m CawfeeGuy and I make yarn cry’ tightly”.
Hello, I’m CawfeeGuy and I’m an abusive knitter. I make yarn cry and snap needles in half.

on DPNS and Needles

I’m on project/pattern overload.

1. “Fake it ‘Til You Make It” (a mock Fair Isle hat): I finished the scarf in less than a week now I’m determined to finish a matching-ish hat within the next few days. I say matching-ish only because the scarf is striped while the hat is geometrically patterned, but they’re made with the same two yarns.

2. “Toe Me Up, Toe Me Down” (My 1st Toe-Up socks): I’ve seen a crap load of awesome patterns on Knitty for socks that are made from the toe up (as opposed to from the top down) and finally broke down and signed up for the Yarn Girl’s “Advanced Sock” class, this weekend, with my mom. It’s a whole new concept for me and I’m incredibly intrigued. She’s also going to teach me how to work the socks on two circs (as opposed to 3 or 4 dpns) and using a “french heel” (whatever that means). The class is going to run for the next few weekends so I’m going to be engrossed in making the socks work.

3. “Thoroughly Modern Moshe” (My 1st Yarmulke): my photographer brother-in-law just asked me to knit one for him when he shoots Bar/Bat mitzvahs and other Jewish events. So, browsing through Ravelry, I found the coolest pattern which looks fun and challenging. plus I’ve got so much fun yarn in my stash that would really look great as a yarmulke!

4. “Baby Blanket Bingo” (Baby Blanket): yup, another friend is preggers and since I love her more than my luggage, she deserves a baby blanket for the kid*. I found a really cool pattern that I’m excited to try and ordered some washable wool yarn from the Yarn Girl in an appropriately neutral color that should really make it pop. It may take me her entire pregnancy, but I’m determined.


There’s also a ton of stuff on my Ravelry queue and in the book my mom gave me for my birthday, that're cool and challenging**; which is exactly what I want. I like that  i've been progressing slowly and steadily and that every "next thing" I knit has been the next step in the my learning process. That’s why I love this hobby: even when I feel like I’ve got something down, there’s always something new to learn, right around the corner.

now if only i had the time to do them all...

* Blankets are the only thing I’ll make for kids ‘cuz they won’t outgrow them; also, it’s really for the parents anyway
** like this bag that MS and I will, hopefully, knit together like we did with our Wallabys

a Bad Romance

I fear I’m a bad relationship and don’t know how to get out. Worse, I don’t know if I want to get out. No, it’s not CawfeeMate, you boob; the man’s a friggin saint.

It’s my knitting needle dealer.

Sock It To Me

When I 1st started knitting, CawfeeMate only had one request: he wanted a pair of wool socks. I dismissed the idea out of principle. I had better, more interesting, things that I wanted to make for myself and him! Cawfee Cozies! Hats! Scarves! A Sweater! This is why I learned to knit!

The thing is, he hardly ever gets cold (even in the harshest winter weather) and so he didn’t need or want a hat, gloves, or a scarf (we’re still looking for the right yarn for his Wallaby); all he wanted was socks to wear around the house. I tried to distract him with other things he’d want: a tea cozy, an i-Pod sock and even replacement pads for his headphones. He was quite happy to get them, but wanted to know why his iPod was now being kept cozy and not his feet. Still, I resisted and knit him a lovely green hat that he didn’t want, but loved anyway. "Besides", I told him, “socks are way more advanced knitting than I’m capable of; I  just learned how to have the right number of stitches at the end of my project"!

The truth was, I had absolutely no desire to learn to make socks, because they’re socks. They go on your feet, inside a shoe, under your pants; who sees them? Who cares? If it wasn’t for social convention, I’d never wear them. Hell, if I could get away with it, I’d never wear shoes, either. Sadly, that’s not the case. My ridiculously flat feet require arch support and my job kinda demands I keep my toes to myself. But, I digress; back to CawfeeMate.

Snatch

I was perusing the message boards of one of the Ravelry groups* I belong to, the other day, when I read a woman’s post about how she was on the 2 train, attempting to master a the purl stitch, when the woman next to her snatched her knitting out of her hands and proceeded to show her how to do it, without so much as a “how do you do”. Furthermore, after her post, there were about three or four other women who wrote that they had experienced similar, if not identical, situations; perfect strangers taking their knitting from them, without warning, and showing them “the right way” to do something!

Reading these stories, I was absolutely livid beyond words (though not so livid that I didn’t comment on their stories in much the same way I’m about to, here). I can’t imagine sitting on the train or bus, minding my own business, and having some random stranger take my knitting out of my hands, for whatever reason. I really think I’d punch someone if they tried to do that; just out of knee-jerk reactionary, gut instinct. you just don't do that in in New York city; that's how a bitch gets cut.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had people talk to me about my knitting while I’m on the bus or on the train** or even just out someplace***; it’s not every day that you see someone knitting in 2011, especially someone with a goatee. The difference is anyone who ever talked to me about my knitting tapped me on the shoulder or excused themselves for “bothering me”; if they wanted to see what I was working on (like the young lady from this morning), they asked to see it and then waited for me to hand it to them. Even the couple of women who offered advice or pointers didn’t try and take my knitting out of my hands.

Maybe it’s because I’m a guy; I don't think a woman would think about taking something (even knitting) out of a guy's hands (even a guy who knits hands); even when the guy looks like me. maybe it's because, with my headphones and body language, I give off a "don't grab my knitting" vibe; I rarely interact with other straphangers. I mean, granted, my Rules for Mass Transit are a bit neurotic and a little over the top, but they work for me. i didn' think that i'd ever need to add "don't grab shit outta other people's hands", that's one we all learned in Kindergarten, no?

* the NYC Bus/Subway Knitters and Crocheters

** There’s this really lovely woman I usually see on the express bus home who was fascinated when I was making my Wallaby, and every time she saw me she’d ask how it was coming along, until I finished it and showed her the pictures I’d posted online; she was equally fascinated by my CawfeeCozies. then there’s the other lady I see in the mornings who, one day, told me that she enjoyed watching me knit on the way into the city every morning; that it reminded her of her grandmother teaching her to knit, when she was a girl.

***just this morning, I was sitting on a bench, outside my office, when a woman walked up to me and told me how great she thought it was to see a man knitting; that her mother had taught her to knit and would be thrilled to see someone knitting on a park bench. She proceeded to tell me how great a job I was doing on the Cabled Laptop cover I was making, walked away, and then came back and asked me to talk to her mom, who was on her cell! They were both incredibly sweet and totally made my day!