Before I became an avid knitter, I was an avid reader. My utterly ridiculous commute lends itself to between two and three hours of downtime a day and I’m not the “sit around twiddling his thumbs” kinda fella. I would spend that time reading (or playing my Nintendo DS) and was able to bang out a book or two every week. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t exactly reading the Idiot or Gone with the Wind, I was mostly reading fluffy fiction that didn’t weigh too heavily on my brain (or my bag); ‘escape reading’ I call it. It was a great way to kill the time between work and home, though it still left me antsy and frustrated when the trip took too long. It wasn’t like knitting, where I often hope for a subway delay or traffic so I can work a few more rows; it also taught me the valuable lesson of having a 2nd book in my bag (or, later, queued upon my Kindle) which now has become having a back-up project with me in case I finish what I’m working on. Anyway, I’ve always loved to read and, as much as I love knitting more, I miss it. There are more than a few authors who’ve put out new titles since I stopped reading and I’m sort of anxious to find out what they’re up to. So, how can I get back into reading without sacrificing my coveted knitting time? Audio books.
Showing posts with label you've been read. Show all posts
Showing posts with label you've been read. Show all posts
Friday, January 06, 2012
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Knit Wittery
I'm sure you remember, back before I'd taken my "blog hiatus", that I was in a desperate search for a way to focus my creative energy; work was slowly sucking the life out of me on a daily basis and blogging just wasn't cutting it. i felt like i spent 90% of my current life being a soulless automaton in an enormous corporate production of It's a Small World and it was incredibly depressing. I needed to make something; put something...anything..."out there".
as some of my readers know, before I was a white collar drone I was a retail queen. retail offered oodles of time for creative pursuits. when worked retail I wrote hundreds of really bad poems and drew, in my spare time. back in college i was an "actor" in the campus' theater group, starring in 3 productions a year four the four years I was
there. in short, I'd never not had a creative outlet or arena of expression.
I'd thought about taking a cake decorating class at the local Michael's or A.C. Moore, but couldn't find one to fit into my schedule. plus, how much cake can you really eat? then I thought about ceramics/pottery, but there's nothing like that on La Isla del Staten; apparently SI housewives don't like mud, who knew? manhattan was out of the question because of the commute. i was completely frustrated. i hated my job, had no time to myself to do the things i wanted to do and was angry because of the overwhelming feelings of suffocation from both.
then one weekend Magenta and Chewie came over and M had a project she was itching to show me. now, she'd been knitting for a couple of years and, while I'd always been really interested in seeing what she was cranking out, it never seemed like a viable hobby for me. I mean really though, how many guys do you know who knit? knitting was for grandmas and creepy, crunchy, cat ladies; it's a woman's hobby. then I had a two pronged media inspired epiphany.
first, I'd just finished reading Joel Derfner's Swish (My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever), the first chapter of which was all about being a guy who knitted. I was inspired. I mean, yeah, the whole idea of a guy knitting is stereotypically gay, but jumpin judas priest on a pogo stick, I'm secure enough in my masculinity (as fleeting and negligible as it is) and my gaity to march in parades and walk through the mall holding my husband's hand; why not try knitting? surely i'm that gay.
secondly, we'd just watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy where crazy cancerous Izzy spent the entire episode, in bed, knitting a hideous orange and green ribbed scarf. if Katherine Heigel could do it, so could I!
so, about a week after my initial mishap, armed with two size 10's and YouTube, it clicked. a week later, i had made a scarf! the next thing I knew, I was knitting all the time in my spare time; 'cuz see, my "spare time"' is my commuting time and my hour and a half in between getting home from work and going to bed. so, there I was, on the bus, train, subway platform and bench outside my office before work, knitting and purling like a man possessed!
like Joel Derfner, I learned the lingo, the mechanics and the nuances of "good yarn" and "fast needles". scarves, hats, blankets, needle rolls, tea cozies, coffee cup sleeves, iPod socks and headphone pads all tumbled out of my needles. i felt like rumplestiltskin...only taller. i was creating, again and it felt marvelous.
I've been knitting now for about 8 months and am working on my 1st sweater/hoodie, thanks to a great class at my local yarn shop, led by a truly terrific teacher. it's a continual learning process that, sometimes, makes me want to stick a size 6 in my ear, but I'm loving it. I've found a hobby that works for me and makes me feel great; MS and I bounce ideas and patterns off each other and I've never felt closer to her. i also can't thank her enough for introducing me to this art, which under the right circumstances, could turn into a life long habit/addiction that could, potentially bankrupt me. i mean have you seen the price of a good silk/cashmere blend lately?
as some of my readers know, before I was a white collar drone I was a retail queen. retail offered oodles of time for creative pursuits. when worked retail I wrote hundreds of really bad poems and drew, in my spare time. back in college i was an "actor" in the campus' theater group, starring in 3 productions a year four the four years I was
there. in short, I'd never not had a creative outlet or arena of expression.
I'd thought about taking a cake decorating class at the local Michael's or A.C. Moore, but couldn't find one to fit into my schedule. plus, how much cake can you really eat? then I thought about ceramics/pottery, but there's nothing like that on La Isla del Staten; apparently SI housewives don't like mud, who knew? manhattan was out of the question because of the commute. i was completely frustrated. i hated my job, had no time to myself to do the things i wanted to do and was angry because of the overwhelming feelings of suffocation from both.
then one weekend Magenta and Chewie came over and M had a project she was itching to show me. now, she'd been knitting for a couple of years and, while I'd always been really interested in seeing what she was cranking out, it never seemed like a viable hobby for me. I mean really though, how many guys do you know who knit? knitting was for grandmas and creepy, crunchy, cat ladies; it's a woman's hobby. then I had a two pronged media inspired epiphany.
first, I'd just finished reading Joel Derfner's Swish (My Quest to Become the Gayest Person Ever), the first chapter of which was all about being a guy who knitted. I was inspired. I mean, yeah, the whole idea of a guy knitting is stereotypically gay, but jumpin judas priest on a pogo stick, I'm secure enough in my masculinity (as fleeting and negligible as it is) and my gaity to march in parades and walk through the mall holding my husband's hand; why not try knitting? surely i'm that gay.
secondly, we'd just watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy where crazy cancerous Izzy spent the entire episode, in bed, knitting a hideous orange and green ribbed scarf. if Katherine Heigel could do it, so could I!
so, about a week after my initial mishap, armed with two size 10's and YouTube, it clicked. a week later, i had made a scarf! the next thing I knew, I was knitting all the time in my spare time; 'cuz see, my "spare time"' is my commuting time and my hour and a half in between getting home from work and going to bed. so, there I was, on the bus, train, subway platform and bench outside my office before work, knitting and purling like a man possessed!
like Joel Derfner, I learned the lingo, the mechanics and the nuances of "good yarn" and "fast needles". scarves, hats, blankets, needle rolls, tea cozies, coffee cup sleeves, iPod socks and headphone pads all tumbled out of my needles. i felt like rumplestiltskin...only taller. i was creating, again and it felt marvelous.
I've been knitting now for about 8 months and am working on my 1st sweater/hoodie, thanks to a great class at my local yarn shop, led by a truly terrific teacher. it's a continual learning process that, sometimes, makes me want to stick a size 6 in my ear, but I'm loving it. I've found a hobby that works for me and makes me feel great; MS and I bounce ideas and patterns off each other and I've never felt closer to her. i also can't thank her enough for introducing me to this art, which under the right circumstances, could turn into a life long habit/addiction that could, potentially bankrupt me. i mean have you seen the price of a good silk/cashmere blend lately?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Test Day: Book 'Em
You Are Fantasy / Sci Fi |
 You have an amazing imagination, and in your mind, all things are possible. You are open minded, and you find the future exciting. You crave novelty and progress. Compared to most people, you are quirky and even a bit eccentric. You have some wacky ideas. And while you may be a bit off the wall, there's no denying how insightful and creative you are. |
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Let It Be (Anything But the Fucking Beatles)
every morning, for the last several weeks, i've been getting my coffee and sitting on a bench outside my office, reading my Kindle (currently i'm making my way through Richard Stevenson's Donald Strachey Mysteries series). i usually sit out there from 7:15 till about 7:45 or 8am depending on how engrossed i am in my book. This morning though, i got to Jay Street-Borough Hall and it was just a bit more brisk than usual, so i figured i'd grab a latte at the Starbucks downstairs and sit at one of their tables; something i've never done. Knowing they like to keep their in-store music pretty loud, i took my headphones off rather than compete and blow out my eardrums. i usually like what they're playing anyway, so it didn't seem like it was going to be a big deal. sadly i was wrong.
apparently, it's fucking "Beatles week". In addition to the release of Rock Band Beatles edition, they've re-released a bunch of albums in digitally remastered format, to the delight of retro-rocking-anglophiles everywhere and i sat there for 45 minutes, listening to some sort of Best Of compilation while reading. Naturally, i posted a status update about it on Facebook and was totally deluged by mixed comments from both the Pro-Beatles and Anti-Beatles sects, the latter of which i find myself firmly amongst. FYI: the Pro-Beatles folks are almost as fanatical as the Pro-Lifers and the Anti-Gay Marriage nuts.
i don't get their music. personally, i the Beatles' sound incredibly dated, in a way that just isn't pleasant. i'm a product of the 80's and the 90's; i grew up with Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, New Edition, the Bangles and a veritable phalanx of one-hit wonders whose names could fill a phonebook. Though that music, too is beyond dated, it's a snapshot of my childhood.
also, i just don't get that kind of fanaticism. i love my music, but i'm not militant about it. if you don't like Bjork (and c'mon, how many people really like her), i get that; she's not for everyone; like headcheese, tripe and blood sausage. Ditto Kristine W, Rufus Wainwright, the Pet Shop Boys and Colton Ford, but hey...that's why iPods have headphones and "skip" buttons. i'm not crazy enough to think that every song that falls from Colton Fords sweet sweet lips is magical (half his 1st album is a dud), but i like what i like. i'm not sure i can explain why i like the artists i do; i just do. honestly, though, i don't think their music requires explanation...well Bjork's might require a translator, but that's another story.
Beatles fans (like Stevie Nicks and Prince fans), though, will beat you over the head with why the Beatles are the alpha and omega of music history and how they've influenced every single artist and/or musician ever...including anyone who made music before them and you better nod and smile or else.
So, tomorrow morning when i go in for my latte, hopefully my little java jockies will be playing something else...anything else...'cuz i definitely can't take two days in a row of Beatlemania and the weather isn't supposed to warm up anytime soon.
apparently, it's fucking "Beatles week". In addition to the release of Rock Band Beatles edition, they've re-released a bunch of albums in digitally remastered format, to the delight of retro-rocking-anglophiles everywhere and i sat there for 45 minutes, listening to some sort of Best Of compilation while reading. Naturally, i posted a status update about it on Facebook and was totally deluged by mixed comments from both the Pro-Beatles and Anti-Beatles sects, the latter of which i find myself firmly amongst. FYI: the Pro-Beatles folks are almost as fanatical as the Pro-Lifers and the Anti-Gay Marriage nuts.
i don't get their music. personally, i the Beatles' sound incredibly dated, in a way that just isn't pleasant. i'm a product of the 80's and the 90's; i grew up with Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, New Edition, the Bangles and a veritable phalanx of one-hit wonders whose names could fill a phonebook. Though that music, too is beyond dated, it's a snapshot of my childhood.
also, i just don't get that kind of fanaticism. i love my music, but i'm not militant about it. if you don't like Bjork (and c'mon, how many people really like her), i get that; she's not for everyone; like headcheese, tripe and blood sausage. Ditto Kristine W, Rufus Wainwright, the Pet Shop Boys and Colton Ford, but hey...that's why iPods have headphones and "skip" buttons. i'm not crazy enough to think that every song that falls from Colton Fords sweet sweet lips is magical (half his 1st album is a dud), but i like what i like. i'm not sure i can explain why i like the artists i do; i just do. honestly, though, i don't think their music requires explanation...well Bjork's might require a translator, but that's another story.
Beatles fans (like Stevie Nicks and Prince fans), though, will beat you over the head with why the Beatles are the alpha and omega of music history and how they've influenced every single artist and/or musician ever...including anyone who made music before them and you better nod and smile or else.
So, tomorrow morning when i go in for my latte, hopefully my little java jockies will be playing something else...anything else...'cuz i definitely can't take two days in a row of Beatlemania and the weather isn't supposed to warm up anytime soon.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Kindle Me Timbers Pt. 2
As expected, the huz was completely taken with the idea of Amazon's Kindle and surprised me with one for my birthday (he also told anyone and everyone to get me Amazon giftcards to load it up with books). i'll admit, my gut reaction was skepticism. what is this clinical looking white and grey device that looks like the love child of my iPod and a 1st Gen Game boy? do you really think you're better than my 3rd floor library filled with the best (and worst) of mainstream and gay *cough* literature? do you really think you'll ever take the place, in my heart, of a real book? then i turned it on.
this thing is frickin' cool. it's lightweight, easy to use, easy to read, has stunning graphics and is amazingly versatile. it's not just a book on a screen, people. you can change the size of the font or turn almost any book into an audio book (there are built in speakers and a headphone jack). as you read the book, you can scroll through and make notes, highlight passages, save screens, look words up in the built in dictionary; and since it's, basically, a big-ass cell phone, you have limited web access so you can hit things up on wikipedia or google. further, when you finish a book you can buy one (or a newspaper or magazine, if you're into those sort of things) and DL it in, like, 30 seconds right from Amazon*. also, you can e-mail certain documents (.DOC, .TXT, certain PDFs, etc) directly to your Kindle's dedicated e-mail address**!
so far, the only downside i've found is the availability of books. granted, my taste in books does not fall under the umbrella of mainstream fiction (Amazon calls iLGBT fiction "genre fiction"), but right now there's only a handful of books by "my authors" that are available and the usual glut of LGBT "erotica" in all it's many flavors (erotic superhero fiction? erotic vampire fiction? erotic postal worker fiction?), but you can tell Amazon which books you'd like to see available for the Kindle, so i'm assuming that, like movies on DVD, eventually almost everything*** will be available.
in short, i'm really quite pleased with the Kindle. while it will never take the place of "real" books in my heart, i tend to think of it like Pinocchio or Cylon 8: cute and fun with the potential to be incredibly endearing (though not quite the "real thing").
*they tout the "try it free" feature, where you can DL just the 1st chapter and read it, but (honestly) i need more than just 10 pages to figure out if i'm going to like an author.
** i found a Zelda players guide and sent it right to the Kindle and was able to cheat while riding the bus!
*** i was most excited when i thought i could get the entire Harry Potter series but found out that JK Rowlings is vehemently anti-digibook.
this thing is frickin' cool. it's lightweight, easy to use, easy to read, has stunning graphics and is amazingly versatile. it's not just a book on a screen, people. you can change the size of the font or turn almost any book into an audio book (there are built in speakers and a headphone jack). as you read the book, you can scroll through and make notes, highlight passages, save screens, look words up in the built in dictionary; and since it's, basically, a big-ass cell phone, you have limited web access so you can hit things up on wikipedia or google. further, when you finish a book you can buy one (or a newspaper or magazine, if you're into those sort of things) and DL it in, like, 30 seconds right from Amazon*. also, you can e-mail certain documents (.DOC, .TXT, certain PDFs, etc) directly to your Kindle's dedicated e-mail address**!
so far, the only downside i've found is the availability of books. granted, my taste in books does not fall under the umbrella of mainstream fiction (Amazon calls iLGBT fiction "genre fiction"), but right now there's only a handful of books by "my authors" that are available and the usual glut of LGBT "erotica" in all it's many flavors (erotic superhero fiction? erotic vampire fiction? erotic postal worker fiction?), but you can tell Amazon which books you'd like to see available for the Kindle, so i'm assuming that, like movies on DVD, eventually almost everything*** will be available.
in short, i'm really quite pleased with the Kindle. while it will never take the place of "real" books in my heart, i tend to think of it like Pinocchio or Cylon 8: cute and fun with the potential to be incredibly endearing (though not quite the "real thing").
*they tout the "try it free" feature, where you can DL just the 1st chapter and read it, but (honestly) i need more than just 10 pages to figure out if i'm going to like an author.
** i found a Zelda players guide and sent it right to the Kindle and was able to cheat while riding the bus!
*** i was most excited when i thought i could get the entire Harry Potter series but found out that JK Rowlings is vehemently anti-digibook.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Test Day: Just Dewey
CawfeeGuy's Dewey Decimal Section:
683 Hardware & household appliances
CawfeeGuy = 313655715 = 313+655+715 = 1683
Class:
600 Technology
Contains:
Health, agriculture, management, public relations, buildings.
What it says about you:
You are creative and inspired to make the world a better place. You can work hard on something when it catches your interest. Your friends have unique interests in common with you.
Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com
Monday, November 03, 2008
Kindle Me Timbers
i'm intrigued and put off all at the same time. i don't think i could ever give up the complete sensory experience of an actual book (though i'm sure my husband wishes i would).
Monday, August 25, 2008
Weekend Highlights
- After 12 weeks of stress and numerous sticky platelets, we're finally getting a new dishwasher from the manufacturer.
- the photography studio that fucked us out of our wedding pictures settled out of court with the NJ Attorney General (there was a dispute over whether or not the photographers which were hired by the studio were paid by the studio). this settlement means we'll be getting our wedding photos (read: negatives) a year after the fact. happy anniversary to us. now we need to find someone who'll turn them into an album.
- saturday was spent in search of a post office which will process passport applications; an effort in futility. apparently there is only 1 post office on staten island which issues passports on Saturday and it's only from 9 to 12. i mean really though, who's up by nine, or leaves the house before 1, on a saturday?
- Wii's Zelda: the Twilight Princess is absolutely amazing. it's almost surreal how good this game is. i was up till 2am Saturday/Sunday trying to rescue a fucking monkey from a cage, atop a totem pole, in a temple. it took me an hour and a half before i gave up and found the cheat on line. then i turned the game off without saving it. the universe gives...the universe takes away...
- we cleaned out our loft-office area, yesterday. it took the better part of the day, but stephen put together the bookshelf we got (last week) at Target , and i loaded up all my books on it. (not counting the last two years of disapproval and frustrated muttering and sighing) it really didn't take stephen a long time to get me off the couch (and away from the Wii) and into gear. we can now see the floor again; he's ecstatic.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
I Can't Put It Down
this is the 3rd book by Steve Kluger that i've been completely swallowed up by. his style is wonderfully unique; somehow combining three of the most disparate topics (baseball, musical theater and american history) into incredibly entertaining, sentimental and gripping fiction. i've read alot of gay fiction, so believe me when i say that this guy has to be the best author to pick up a pen since Armistead Maupin.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
TuesdayWednesday: Brought to You By the Letter "R"
Relaxed. Rested. etc.
this was a well spent and eagerly anticipated three day weekend (**golf clap for Dr. MLK**) and i would've written about it yesterday had i not gotten to work feeling like my head was stuck in a fishbowl and then been inundated with work. honestly you'd think the amount of crap i had to do yesterday was penance for having off on Monday. anyhoo...
this weekend we finally took down our Christmas decorations, (coincidence?) and a reasonably attractive European (Russian? Italian? French?) carpenter came to fix (read: trim off some superfluous top molding) the "mexican-rustic" entertainment center that stephen purchased after the wedding. he only removed about 5" of top molding and yet the room no longer seems overtaken by the gargantuan thing (pictures tomorrow); now we can load the damned thing up with DVD's and tchotchkes. very excited am i.
concurrently, we swung by Pier One on Monday and found the most wonderful area rug (again: pictures tomorrow). a quick phone call to mom (apparently, New Years Day has been forgotten) and an hour later it was warming our toes on the living room floor and Stephen's old, ugly, unidentifiably stained one was making the dumpster up the block look cozier.
we got some quality puppy time and some much needed laundry time in and went into the city to meet with the cops (who roll their eyes and swear that our dispute with Celebration Studios is a civil matter and not a criminal one, and refuse to take a report). since the cops were fairly obstinate, the meeting only took 10 minutes which left us time for a leisurely walk through Chelsea where we stopped for lunch (see yesterday) and i hit a gay bookstore for some supplies.
wish i could write more, but i'm just not up to pontificating...
this was a well spent and eagerly anticipated three day weekend (**golf clap for Dr. MLK**) and i would've written about it yesterday had i not gotten to work feeling like my head was stuck in a fishbowl and then been inundated with work. honestly you'd think the amount of crap i had to do yesterday was penance for having off on Monday. anyhoo...
this weekend we finally took down our Christmas decorations, (coincidence?) and a reasonably attractive European (Russian? Italian? French?) carpenter came to fix (read: trim off some superfluous top molding) the "mexican-rustic" entertainment center that stephen purchased after the wedding. he only removed about 5" of top molding and yet the room no longer seems overtaken by the gargantuan thing (pictures tomorrow); now we can load the damned thing up with DVD's and tchotchkes. very excited am i.
concurrently, we swung by Pier One on Monday and found the most wonderful area rug (again: pictures tomorrow). a quick phone call to mom (apparently, New Years Day has been forgotten) and an hour later it was warming our toes on the living room floor and Stephen's old, ugly, unidentifiably stained one was making the dumpster up the block look cozier.
we got some quality puppy time and some much needed laundry time in and went into the city to meet with the cops (who roll their eyes and swear that our dispute with Celebration Studios is a civil matter and not a criminal one, and refuse to take a report). since the cops were fairly obstinate, the meeting only took 10 minutes which left us time for a leisurely walk through Chelsea where we stopped for lunch (see yesterday) and i hit a gay bookstore for some supplies.
wish i could write more, but i'm just not up to pontificating...
Friday, September 14, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Finito
i laughed (a little).
i cried (alot).
the best collection of fiction since the bible.
.
.
now i can get on with my life and concentrate on my new Gameboy DS; yeah, i'm 31 going on 13...what of it?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Chapter 8
i want a wedding like Bill and Fleur's.
(mind you i'm not finished with the chapter yet, so i could change my mind)
(mind you i'm not finished with the chapter yet, so i could change my mind)
Monday, August 13, 2007
Despite Still Having Not Read the New Harry Potter, I'm Okay...No Really Pt 2
i went out and bought it yesterday. after finally seeing Jenn and Brian on Saturday night, it was clear that i wasn't getting it for my birthday (i did however get the most kick-ass JLA t-shirt from them, along with some great art supplies and an awesome Green Lantern shirt!)i started it on the bus this morning and i'm only on page 32.
is it wrong that i'm tempted to call out sick to stay home and read?
Friday, August 10, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Michael Tolliver Lives
it was even better than i'd hoped (and i had really high hopes, lemme tellya). i devoured it in 2 days and now i'm spent.it really was like getting a really long letter, from somebody you love, but haven't heard from in a while; it was sad and funny and just wonderful.
now i have nothing to read.
talk about sad...
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Every Year...
it's July.that means my birthday's coming again (on july 31st).
the BIG Three-One.
i do feel a little older than last year, a little wiser, a little slimmer. Thirty-one isn't nearly the big deal that thirty was. i don't mind it as much.
now, i've already had a couple of people ask me what i want for my birthday and rather than say, "aw nothing! just to spend time with you is enough for me", and since we didn't register for the wedding, i'm putting it all down on a convenient list. i hope you appreciate my greed coupled with diligence.
i'm old goddammit, just make me happy before i die:
Absolutely Fabulous Season 1 and/or 2 on DVD: i gotta have my Patsy and Edina. it's been too long, and i can't deal with the old VHS copies i got from Jenn when i turned the big Two-One (i like the symmetry of this, don't you?).
t-shirts: think back a couple of weeks and you'll know which ones. i don't mind dupes; a boy can't have too many Aquaman or Green Lantern shirts. there's also the Militant Homosexual look, too (check out Cafe Press) or just good ole fashioned queer (again...Cafe Press).
books: is it a coincidence that my birthday and Harry Potter's birthday are the same day? no. it's a sign that somebody who loves me should buy me the new book which comes out every year or so on or around my birthday. there are a ton of other books out there that i'm looking for, the new Tales of the City (sorry BL, i can't bring myself to buy it, and deprive someone an easy gift ), and Robert Rodi has a new novel out When You Were Me. honestly if you go to Alibris. i've made it quite easy for you.
gift cards: always the right color and size; Best Buy, Starbucks, Target or Amex fit the best, though.
is it greedy? maybe.
is it tacky? possibly.
but, this list is coming on July 5th, after having about 3 hours of sleep (between the fireworks and the huge thunderstorm afterward) i'm feeling a little testy and vulnerable.
i'm sure i'll remove it when i'm in a better frame of mind...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I'm So Excited, I Could Shit
Friday, December 29, 2006
Be It Resolved
Now surely you’re thinking “you’re making New Year’s Resolutions, CawfeeGuy? I’m shocked! You’re damn near perfect”! yes, it’s true; it’s that “damn near” that has pushed me to try and make the following changes in 2007…
- lose weight before the wedding: yeah yeah, i know i've been bitching abou this since Stephen proposed (back in February), Donna's right, this time i know it's for real. i've got 10 months to lose about 50 lbs. maybe i'll go to Weight Watchers with Stephen...
- take control of my finances: another CawfeeGuy golden oldie. i've been saying it for years, but it really needs to get done. i have to overcome my fear and grab my money by the balls.
- get back to my writing: i really miss it. friends and lovers have been telling me for years that they enjoy reading my writing, and i've been wanting to write something (other than my blog) for ages; "the Great Gay Novel" akin to Valley of the Dolls, lord knows i've got a helluva lot of stories to choose from (don't worry, i'll change the names to protect the guilty).
- let go of my anger and fear: i'm now in my thirties **shudder** and i need to put all the crap of my youth behind me; a large part of which is being angry. it's a new year, kids and i'm coming out Tabula Rasa.
- work on starting my own business: there are resources out there where i can learn where to begin; actually utilizing those resources would be where to begin. when i think of how much money i saved this year for the wedding, it doesn't seem quite so impossible to get some together for start-up.
there are other things i wanna do like find a way to get my hair back (or at least find a style that's more current and slightly flattering), but i'll start with these five.
have a great weekend, kids. be safe and have a fantastic New Year.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
M.Y.O.B.
i lay in bed last night, finding it very difficult to sleep. ironcially, stephen seemed to be having no trouble at all. we had just finished a discussion about something that john and i had discussed (with great seriousness) on Monday: opening my own business on Staten Island. i want to open a book store. not just any kind of book store; i want to open a Gay/Lesbian/Bi-Sexual/Transgender bookstore...on Staten Island. i'm crazy, right? the thing is, SI has only a handful of bookstores (actually, i can only think of three), none of which have a GLBT section bigger than 2 shelves. sadly, these pitiful sections are crammed with porn-lite: "erotica" and self-help books titled "Finding the Boyfriend Within" and "Golden Gays: Growing Old in the new Millenium". while non-fiction is definitely a valid form of writing, it's also very limited. i mean how many books on the Stonewall riots do we really need? if you're looking for fiction, you need to dig it out from amongst the Literature section (and if you don't know an author, well then it sucks to be you). all in all, it's frustrating to try and find new books by GLBT authors. you may recall, i ranted about this in a previous post.
anyway, it's my dream (literally) to open a book shop that has an actual selection of GLBT fiction, non-fiction, memoirs, magazines, newspapers, t-shirts, jewelry, movies and accessories. and no, there will be no porno, no dildos (dildoes? dildi?), no lube, no backroom (or "arcade"), no nipple-clamps, tassles, slings or whips. i will not sell kink or "smut". Mind you, i have no problem with porn or sex stuff; SI already has a porno shop, i don't think that it requires another. nope, all i want is a small shop that all the fags, dykes and trannies can come to without judgement; a spot where the staff (of 2, maybe 3) can actually spell Armistead Maupin and know the difference between Gerald Ford, Colton Ford and Michael Thomas Ford.
well, i told Stephen this dream and (as is his custom) he gave voice to (almost) all the negative thoughts i was having (is there a demand? is there a market? are there really enough fags/dykes/trannies/closet-cases on SI? is there a location on SI that i won't get lynched?) leaving out my concerns about start-up-capital and inexperience in running a business. actually, he was very positive about my inexperience, telling me that there were numerous books at the library that could walk me through the process of Opening a Small Business. by the end of our discussion, i was so exhausted (trying to think positively), that i couldn't sleep. mind you, he never said it wouldn't work, just that he'd be surprised if it did.
in his mind he wasn't being negative, he was being realistic; and (as is my custom), i recognize that he's right. it would be an uphill climb, attempting to open any kind of business on Staten Island, let alone one that would be in direct competition with a monolith like Barnes and Noble's. all i kept thinking of was You've Got Mail, that terrible movie with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks about the smallish "ma and pa" bookstore that is completely swallowed up by the B & N-type corporation. forget about the uphill climb it would take to secure the money necessary to start a business; that would like trying to find a straight girl at a Melissa Etheridge concert. however, these two hurdles would pale in comparison to trying to do anything "Gay" on Staten Island, the reddest/rightest borough in all 5. SI's gay population is so terribly underground, even though we all seem to know each other; there's very little "Pride". how would i expect to scrape a living from people who hide behind wives, girlfriends and AOL screen-names?
it left me more than a little depressed: depressed that i wouldn't be able to work for myself, doing something that i'd love; depressed that i wouldn't be able to own something; depressed that i wouldn't be able to share something that i truly love with other people.
"If this is something you want SO bad, nothing can stand in your way. While we may not need book 3,636 about the Stonewall riots, what did it teach us about? Overcoming opposition. Hopefully WE won't need a drag queen and a brick to do it."~DJ John Michael
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