"Do you hear that sound? That's your yarn...it's crying"~ Magenta Sequins

Thursday, February 15, 2007

the Further Adventures of Merlin

i hate him.

no matter how fucking likable he is...and he is extremely likable...i just wanna head-butt him and then kick him in the nuts. why?

1. he's trying way too hard to be my friend. i don't want a friend. i have alot of friends outside of work and quite a few at work. i don't need a half-wit from Nutley, NJ to be my friend. i'm here to teach you, not be your friend.

2. he's needy. he all but begs for my approval, like a cocker-spaniel. every time he does a report or looks at some paperwork, he asks if he's done a good job. i almost want to start tossing cookies at him. instead, i'm just withholding. his 1st day he said he was gonna buy me lunch for all the time i was taking to teach him. i told him it was appreciated, but not to...it's my job to teach him. he kept insisting till i blew up. the following week he bought me Season 6 of the Golden Girls. i gave him money 'cause i didn't want him to think that he was "buying me off".

3. he's not funny. he thinks he's funny, but he's not. he's sad and obtuse the way older straight guys tend to be. his jokes rarely make sense and i usually don't laugh (more withholding).

4. he'll fuck something up or reach a roadblock and then lie and say that i never taught him the right way, even though it's in the notes that he refuses to refer to. it's driving me nuts. what was the point of taking notes if you're not gonna read 'em? if that's not enough to make me wanna stab him in the neck with the fountain pen stephen gave me for my birthday, he keeps asking the same questions over and over and over and over.

i can't...i just can't deal. i'm really not cut out to train someone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Oh my god! These stories make ME hate him and all I can picture(i.e. merlin) is a dopey guy with a long beard and a wand...which I imagine is nothing like him...or is it?!

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