I used to love getting Christmas cards in the mail. i look forward to seeing what kinds of cards people; religious? secular? funny? serious? modern? classic? i look at them like mail-order art and, as was the tradition in my family, would hang them on a wall to brighten up the living room during the Season. A couple of years ago, at Pier 1, i bought an enormous wire wall hanging in the shape of a Christmas tree, that's made to hold about 50 cards; by New Years the thing barely has room to fit any more and there's usually a small pile underneath from the ones that fall off. Yup, Christmas cards used to make me so very happy. then came...the children.
the cards we used to get contained hand written well-wishing, greetings and signatures; sometimes the envelopes were also handwritten but sometimes they were labels. either way, there was still the personal element involved with the card that said: my friend and/or his/her significant other, took the time to send me a Christmas/holiday card; they really are thinking of us this season! 90% of the cards we receive now, though, are just pictures of my friends' and family's kids; some are studio shots and some are snapshots that have been Walmarted or Zazzled into a card. this card is then stuck in an envelope with an address printed address label on it. no greeting. no signature. not even spit on the self-adhesive stamp. it may as well have come from our plumber or the guy who sold us our car.
now i know some might argue that we're lucky to be receiving cards at all, and that my feelings fly in the face of the spirit of the holiday, when it's the "thought that counts", and to those folks i say: i am so very over these kinds of cards; i'd rather not receive a card from someone, than get one that's just a picture of their kid, because cards with just a photo of a kid on it usually shows no thought at all. i get that you're busy wiping snot and changing pull-ups and driving to tae kwon do or indoor, coed, non-denominational soccer (in addition to your 9 to 5 job); you're busy and i get that. so don't send a "card". you know who wants to get pics of your kids; e-mail them, save the postage and call it a day.
that's not going to happen, though. most, parents don't get the message that their little sun and/or moon is not the center of everyone's universe. they shouldn't be surprised though, that their "card" is somewhere in pile under our card tree, along with other pictures of people's kids...
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Friday, December 16, 2011
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
You (Unfortunately) Can't Spell Christmas Without Christ
The other day I was goofing off at work on break, checking out Facebook, when I saw a friend’s status update mention that he and his husband were out to eat and he was less than thrilled because a religious Christmas song came on. It got me thinking:
I, myself, am not religious. While I was raised Roman Catholic, and spent about 16 years in the Catholic educational system, I remember reaching a point in that education (around senior year of high school) where I found it all quite distasteful, duplicitous and shameful; owing to having known too many Catholics (both professionally and recreationally) who were just awful, rotten people. Still, I wound up attending a catholic college (for the education) and it’s been more than a decade since I last received Communion or sought penance; since to do either seemed hollow and hypocritical. Nowadays, with all the crap being handed to the gays by right wing religious nuts, I find most organized religions abhorrent and especially bristle when it comes to “Christians”. The “Christians” drive me particularly nuts, since most of them are so ridiculously cult-like, preying on the dimwitted, weak-willed and empty; not to mention the tentacles of evil that have wound their way into politics. Nope, I’m not a fan of religion.
Except when it comes to Christmas. I love Christmas; always have and always will.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Ho-Ho-Hold UP
The holidays are right around the corner and I’m totally not having any of it. I’ve been seeing all kinds of Christmas decorations in my travels around 3 of the 5 boroughs, since Halloween. Wasn’t Halloween, like, last Tuesday? “My” Starbucks has had their iconic red cups since November 1st and started serving Christmas Blend this past Monday. It’s all happening way too quickly for me.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Color by Numbers
you know that people don’t, as a matter of course, have green hair?
It’s true. Green hair is “unconventional”; rebellious, even.
Up until recently, I had no idea.
As most (read: both) of you, who read my blog (whenever I update the damn thing) know, I’m color blind. On the off chance this is news to you, I’ll explain it as briefly and as succinctly as possible:
It’s red/green color blindness which also includes brown. It’s not that I don’t see red, green or brown (I’m not a dog, people), I just have a really hard time differentiating between the three when they’re all the same shade*. i’m not sure, exactly, how it works but I think a very large part of it is psychological since I know stop signs and fire engines are red and streetlights are red green and yellow, etc.
it’s other stuff that’s tricky; things like produce, plant life and hair color. These three things are not required to be one color or another. They can, and often are, any color. It’s this “grey area” that throws my brain into a tizzy.
For example, Sundays is the day we do our weekly food shopping at the local Stop & Shop or the not-so-local Wegman’s. If CawfeeMate is tied up with homework, I’ll go alone to Stop & Shop and, invariably, spend an extra twenty minutes in the produce aisle trying to buy apples for his lunch. See, CawfeeMate prefers “Golden Delicious” apples over the other varietals (while I, myself, prefer apples only in pie form). What i have learned since shopping for his apples is that the “golden” in the title refers to the color which the apple aspires to be (if an apple can be said to have any aspirations, at all); the apples start off green and become “golden”. This color change is, apparently, quite evident to those of you born with the typical number of cones in your eyes, thus letting y’all know which ones are, in fact, golden and delicious as their name suggest. To me, however 99.9% of the apples in the Golden Delicious bin look exactly the same with their bruised skin as the only indicator of which ones to toss in my cart. Another fun fact about apples, unlike other fruit or vegetables, you can’t leave them in a bag to ripen; they stay green (or so I’m told).
It seems that, when in doubt, my brain fills in the proverbial blanks. How it chooses the colors is a mystery to me though. I’m pretty sure it goes by what I think I know. From the time we’re little, we’re taught that trees have brown trunks and green leaves so all trees, to me, regardless of the season, have a brown trunk and varying shades of green leaves (I’m guessing that if the leaves turn brown or dark red, I’m seeing these as darker green). Visually speaking, autumn is not quite as fun and fab for CawfeeGuy as it is for the rest of you.
Hair color, though, is my favorite. For a ridiculously long time, I thought CawfeeMate’s goatee was green; I would’ve sworn to it on a stack Cher LP’s. I knew it wasn’t green, that it was either red or some shade of brown, but couldn’t be certain which. My brain defaults to (what I have heard described as) acid green: the same color I recognize as the glow inside a Borg ship, on Star Trek: Voyager. It, like the hair color of thousands of other people I’d met, was kinda fab. It was only when I asked him about it, like a week ago, that I found out it was “strawberry blonde”. This led him to break to me gently that people don’t, usually have green hair, unless it’s a “statement”. This I actually knew, if the truth can be told. Over the last 34 years I’ve seen way too many old ladies with “green” hair. I just never took the time to find out what color it was supposed to be.
This phenomenon still entertains the huz, after 6 years together. He’s often told me that he kinda feels sorry for me that autumn isn’t the explosion of colors for me that it is for him and that Christmas decorations don’t “pop” for me like they do for him. The other day at breakfast he wondered aloud what my experience would be if, suddenly, I could see colors the way other people could. I told him that it would probably be just as dramatic as the 1st time I put on glasses in the 6th grade and everything snapped into focus for the 1st time ever, but that I was quite content not being able to see what everyone else sees.
Sure it’d make shopping for food and clothes easier and it’d be nice to have the Christmas and autumn experiences that y’all have, but I’ve made it through 34 years okay. Just don’t be surprised if, when you’ve just come from the salon, I look at your highlights a little funny.
It’s true. Green hair is “unconventional”; rebellious, even.
Up until recently, I had no idea.
As most (read: both) of you, who read my blog (whenever I update the damn thing) know, I’m color blind. On the off chance this is news to you, I’ll explain it as briefly and as succinctly as possible:
It’s red/green color blindness which also includes brown. It’s not that I don’t see red, green or brown (I’m not a dog, people), I just have a really hard time differentiating between the three when they’re all the same shade*. i’m not sure, exactly, how it works but I think a very large part of it is psychological since I know stop signs and fire engines are red and streetlights are red green and yellow, etc.
it’s other stuff that’s tricky; things like produce, plant life and hair color. These three things are not required to be one color or another. They can, and often are, any color. It’s this “grey area” that throws my brain into a tizzy.
For example, Sundays is the day we do our weekly food shopping at the local Stop & Shop or the not-so-local Wegman’s. If CawfeeMate is tied up with homework, I’ll go alone to Stop & Shop and, invariably, spend an extra twenty minutes in the produce aisle trying to buy apples for his lunch. See, CawfeeMate prefers “Golden Delicious” apples over the other varietals (while I, myself, prefer apples only in pie form). What i have learned since shopping for his apples is that the “golden” in the title refers to the color which the apple aspires to be (if an apple can be said to have any aspirations, at all); the apples start off green and become “golden”. This color change is, apparently, quite evident to those of you born with the typical number of cones in your eyes, thus letting y’all know which ones are, in fact, golden and delicious as their name suggest. To me, however 99.9% of the apples in the Golden Delicious bin look exactly the same with their bruised skin as the only indicator of which ones to toss in my cart. Another fun fact about apples, unlike other fruit or vegetables, you can’t leave them in a bag to ripen; they stay green (or so I’m told).
It seems that, when in doubt, my brain fills in the proverbial blanks. How it chooses the colors is a mystery to me though. I’m pretty sure it goes by what I think I know. From the time we’re little, we’re taught that trees have brown trunks and green leaves so all trees, to me, regardless of the season, have a brown trunk and varying shades of green leaves (I’m guessing that if the leaves turn brown or dark red, I’m seeing these as darker green). Visually speaking, autumn is not quite as fun and fab for CawfeeGuy as it is for the rest of you.
Hair color, though, is my favorite. For a ridiculously long time, I thought CawfeeMate’s goatee was green; I would’ve sworn to it on a stack Cher LP’s. I knew it wasn’t green, that it was either red or some shade of brown, but couldn’t be certain which. My brain defaults to (what I have heard described as) acid green: the same color I recognize as the glow inside a Borg ship, on Star Trek: Voyager. It, like the hair color of thousands of other people I’d met, was kinda fab. It was only when I asked him about it, like a week ago, that I found out it was “strawberry blonde”. This led him to break to me gently that people don’t, usually have green hair, unless it’s a “statement”. This I actually knew, if the truth can be told. Over the last 34 years I’ve seen way too many old ladies with “green” hair. I just never took the time to find out what color it was supposed to be.
This phenomenon still entertains the huz, after 6 years together. He’s often told me that he kinda feels sorry for me that autumn isn’t the explosion of colors for me that it is for him and that Christmas decorations don’t “pop” for me like they do for him. The other day at breakfast he wondered aloud what my experience would be if, suddenly, I could see colors the way other people could. I told him that it would probably be just as dramatic as the 1st time I put on glasses in the 6th grade and everything snapped into focus for the 1st time ever, but that I was quite content not being able to see what everyone else sees.
Sure it’d make shopping for food and clothes easier and it’d be nice to have the Christmas and autumn experiences that y’all have, but I’ve made it through 34 years okay. Just don’t be surprised if, when you’ve just come from the salon, I look at your highlights a little funny.
*FYI: it also means that I have a hard time telling blue and purple, and orange and yellow apart.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
CawfeeGuy's Holiday Chestnuts
i couldn't let my last post be my last post, so here's something a tad more UP....
as you all may (or may not) know. i fucking love Christmas music. Love it. i start looking for new stuff around Halloween and start playing it (and nothing else) the day after Thanksgiving, until New Year's Day. here's the best of the new stuff i picked up this season (most of which is kinda old, but new to me):
1. Christmas Duel (the Hives and Cyndi Lauper): in truth, i bought this last year, just before new years, but i was so appalled by it that i only listened to it once. it has to be the worst "Christmas song" ever, and i would not want my mom to hear it. this year i realized that it's an absolutely awesome song, though (maybe i've become more jaded over the last year). Cyndi sounds amazing and the whole thing has a very Phil Spector kinda sound, gone horribly horribly wrong.
2. Jingle Bells (Barry Maniilow & Expose): yes, that Expose of the 80's. brilliant swinging "Bing-and-the-Andrews-Sisters" sound.
3. Zat You Santa Claus? (Buster Poindexter): c'mon...he's from Staten Island...how can you not love this cover of the old Louis Armstrong song? it's very Nightmare Before Christmas.
4. All I Want for Christmas is You (the 88): i had seen the 88 when they opened for the b52's this past summer and liked their California pop/rock sound; this single was free on iTunes and i thought "what the hell", thinking it was a cover of Mariah's All I Want for Christmas is You. it's not...but it's definitely worth picking up, as it's catchy and fun.
5. a Christmas Gift from Phil Spector (full album; Various Artists): this is one of the absolute best albums, ever. all the girl groups of the 5o's, that Phil Spector created, are together on this album with covers a crap load of Christmas favorites. Very retro-christmas that takes me back to my childhood and mom would blast the oldies station while we baked. Honestly, there are songs on here that i've always hated in the past (Marshmallow World and the Parade of the Wooden Soldiers) that are infinitely more tolerable because they're sung by the Ronettes.
6. Christmas Tree (Lady Gaga featuring Space Cowboy): thanks to MS for telling me about this song. it's silly and ridiculous and very Lady Gaga.
7. the Christmas of Your Life (full album; Helen Reddy): yup, Helen Reddy has a Christmas Album and it's really really good; cheesy, but good. it's really great "background music".
8. Joseph: Better You, Than Me (the Killers, Neil Tennant & Elton John): not terribly festive, but a really good song, nonetheless, and all about the vaguest person in the nativity.
9. the First Noel (David Archuleta): who the hell is this guy? i got this song and Joy to the World off a free iTunes Christmas sampler (along with a whole lot of middle-America, banjo strumming country nonsense) and it's really good; he's got a very sweet voice.
10. O Come All Ye Faithful/Adeste Fidelis (Amy Grant): i'll admit it, i own Amy's Heart In Motion cd, but ever since i heard she was a crazy Christer i've been kind of leary of her music. this was on the same sampler as #9, though, and i will grudgingly admit that's its really well done. if you can get it free, do it...otherwise i wouldn't spend a dime on her.
11. Christmas Cheer (full album; Connie Francis): absolutely, brilliantly, campy and kitchy and fabulous along the lines of the Doris Day and Ella Fitzgerald Christmas albums. it's faboulous (especially her version of the Twelve Days of Christmas where she sounds like she's from Brooklyn).
12. We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Weezer): really great pop/rock cover from a band i usually don't pay attention to.
13. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (Luscious Jackson): see #12
14. Great Big Sleigh (the Killers): my absolute favorite song this season.
15. Rockin Around the Christmas Tree (Miley Cyrus): i know, i know, i know; she's saccharine sweet and disgustingly over exposed, but still...it's a fun song.
i also greatly appreciate any suggestions for "new music"!
Merry, Happy, Jolly, Festive...Whatever, kids!
as you all may (or may not) know. i fucking love Christmas music. Love it. i start looking for new stuff around Halloween and start playing it (and nothing else) the day after Thanksgiving, until New Year's Day. here's the best of the new stuff i picked up this season (most of which is kinda old, but new to me):
1. Christmas Duel (the Hives and Cyndi Lauper): in truth, i bought this last year, just before new years, but i was so appalled by it that i only listened to it once. it has to be the worst "Christmas song" ever, and i would not want my mom to hear it. this year i realized that it's an absolutely awesome song, though (maybe i've become more jaded over the last year). Cyndi sounds amazing and the whole thing has a very Phil Spector kinda sound, gone horribly horribly wrong.
2. Jingle Bells (Barry Maniilow & Expose): yes, that Expose of the 80's. brilliant swinging "Bing-and-the-Andrews-Sisters" sound.
3. Zat You Santa Claus? (Buster Poindexter): c'mon...he's from Staten Island...how can you not love this cover of the old Louis Armstrong song? it's very Nightmare Before Christmas.
4. All I Want for Christmas is You (the 88): i had seen the 88 when they opened for the b52's this past summer and liked their California pop/rock sound; this single was free on iTunes and i thought "what the hell", thinking it was a cover of Mariah's All I Want for Christmas is You. it's not...but it's definitely worth picking up, as it's catchy and fun.
5. a Christmas Gift from Phil Spector (full album; Various Artists): this is one of the absolute best albums, ever. all the girl groups of the 5o's, that Phil Spector created, are together on this album with covers a crap load of Christmas favorites. Very retro-christmas that takes me back to my childhood and mom would blast the oldies station while we baked. Honestly, there are songs on here that i've always hated in the past (Marshmallow World and the Parade of the Wooden Soldiers) that are infinitely more tolerable because they're sung by the Ronettes.
6. Christmas Tree (Lady Gaga featuring Space Cowboy): thanks to MS for telling me about this song. it's silly and ridiculous and very Lady Gaga.
7. the Christmas of Your Life (full album; Helen Reddy): yup, Helen Reddy has a Christmas Album and it's really really good; cheesy, but good. it's really great "background music".
8. Joseph: Better You, Than Me (the Killers, Neil Tennant & Elton John): not terribly festive, but a really good song, nonetheless, and all about the vaguest person in the nativity.
9. the First Noel (David Archuleta): who the hell is this guy? i got this song and Joy to the World off a free iTunes Christmas sampler (along with a whole lot of middle-America, banjo strumming country nonsense) and it's really good; he's got a very sweet voice.
10. O Come All Ye Faithful/Adeste Fidelis (Amy Grant): i'll admit it, i own Amy's Heart In Motion cd, but ever since i heard she was a crazy Christer i've been kind of leary of her music. this was on the same sampler as #9, though, and i will grudgingly admit that's its really well done. if you can get it free, do it...otherwise i wouldn't spend a dime on her.
11. Christmas Cheer (full album; Connie Francis): absolutely, brilliantly, campy and kitchy and fabulous along the lines of the Doris Day and Ella Fitzgerald Christmas albums. it's faboulous (especially her version of the Twelve Days of Christmas where she sounds like she's from Brooklyn).
12. We Wish You a Merry Christmas (Weezer): really great pop/rock cover from a band i usually don't pay attention to.
13. Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow (Luscious Jackson): see #12
14. Great Big Sleigh (the Killers): my absolute favorite song this season.
15. Rockin Around the Christmas Tree (Miley Cyrus): i know, i know, i know; she's saccharine sweet and disgustingly over exposed, but still...it's a fun song.
i also greatly appreciate any suggestions for "new music"!
Merry, Happy, Jolly, Festive...Whatever, kids!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Bleeech Friday
this is the 1st Black Friday i've worked in about 6 years and, lemme tell you: never again.
my tradition of taking off, the day after Thanksgiving, dates back to my days in retail. See, for those of you who don't know, i was a retail whore for close to ten years. The Staten Island Mall was my stomping ground, and i worked the corner of a Ma & Pop suit store (where i spent nearly 9 years) and Sam Goody, throughout college and beyond. looking back with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, smeared with the vaseline of being a corporate/finance drone, i can honestly say that those were good days; the hours were great, the pay was good (well above minimum wage) and i liked the people. Black Friday was the high holy day of retail, which meant a guaranteed open-to-close work day for senior staffers and commission on the sales you made (or those "given" to you by the cashiers). Black Friday set the tone for entire Christmas Season, and its psychotically frenzied atmosphere was a harbinger of the crazy days which lasted till New Year's Eve. it was not at all uncommon for the hours to fly by like minutes, leaving you hungry and thirsty because you'd skipped both breakfast and lunch. it was glorious.
the meaning of Black Friday changed, post-retail. sure i'd haul out the Christmas CD's and start writing out cards, but it also meant i didn't have to work, to make money. joining corporate america meant "paid vacation days" and what better way to use one than to give oneself a 4 day weekend following a bi-annual schlepp to Long Island*? after our 1st Thanksgiving spent on Long Island, i realized that getting home close to midnight and having to get up for work the next day was about as palatable as CawfeeMate's WASP aunt's cooking. There began the tradition of taking off on Black Friday.
Black Friday now took on a new meaning: post-Thanksgiving clean up and Christmas decorating! it was a glorious tradition which went wonderfully smooth, until this year. just like all the previous years, i put my vacation request in on January 2nd and didn't give it a 2nd thought. That is, until K---y, my dimwitted co-worker, came to me in September to let me know she'd be off this week. When i asked her how that was possible, she shrugged and told me that Cunty had granted signed off on her request that day. Apparently, Cunty never put me in for the day; livid does not even begin to explain how i felt.
so, here i am, at work on Black Friday wishing i wasn't. Everybody else in the world seems to be off, but i'm here at my desk (despite the numerous commuting hurdles i had to jump this morning, which got me here half an hour late). it could be worse, though. my office could've had a Door Buster.
*When the huz and i had 1st met, we realized that the holidays would be dicey. Both coming from Italian-American backgrounds, the holidays are a big deal to our mothers; in the interest of fairness, equinimity and to minimize agita, we decided to alternate the holidays: Thanksgiving at Casa Del CawfeeGuyMom, Christmas Eve at Chateau CawfeeMateMom, Christmas Day at Casa Del CawfeeGuyMom, Easter at Chateau CawfeeMateMom; the following year we'd switch (despite my mom swearing we spent all the holidays with my in-laws). on the years we'd spend Thanksgiving with the CawfeeMate family, we'd drive out to Long Island which meant leaving early in the morning and getting home late at night (the drive between LI and SI is nothing but bumper to bumber traffic).
my tradition of taking off, the day after Thanksgiving, dates back to my days in retail. See, for those of you who don't know, i was a retail whore for close to ten years. The Staten Island Mall was my stomping ground, and i worked the corner of a Ma & Pop suit store (where i spent nearly 9 years) and Sam Goody, throughout college and beyond. looking back with the rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, smeared with the vaseline of being a corporate/finance drone, i can honestly say that those were good days; the hours were great, the pay was good (well above minimum wage) and i liked the people. Black Friday was the high holy day of retail, which meant a guaranteed open-to-close work day for senior staffers and commission on the sales you made (or those "given" to you by the cashiers). Black Friday set the tone for entire Christmas Season, and its psychotically frenzied atmosphere was a harbinger of the crazy days which lasted till New Year's Eve. it was not at all uncommon for the hours to fly by like minutes, leaving you hungry and thirsty because you'd skipped both breakfast and lunch. it was glorious.
the meaning of Black Friday changed, post-retail. sure i'd haul out the Christmas CD's and start writing out cards, but it also meant i didn't have to work, to make money. joining corporate america meant "paid vacation days" and what better way to use one than to give oneself a 4 day weekend following a bi-annual schlepp to Long Island*? after our 1st Thanksgiving spent on Long Island, i realized that getting home close to midnight and having to get up for work the next day was about as palatable as CawfeeMate's WASP aunt's cooking. There began the tradition of taking off on Black Friday.
Black Friday now took on a new meaning: post-Thanksgiving clean up and Christmas decorating! it was a glorious tradition which went wonderfully smooth, until this year. just like all the previous years, i put my vacation request in on January 2nd and didn't give it a 2nd thought. That is, until K---y, my dimwitted co-worker, came to me in September to let me know she'd be off this week. When i asked her how that was possible, she shrugged and told me that Cunty had granted signed off on her request that day. Apparently, Cunty never put me in for the day; livid does not even begin to explain how i felt.
so, here i am, at work on Black Friday wishing i wasn't. Everybody else in the world seems to be off, but i'm here at my desk (despite the numerous commuting hurdles i had to jump this morning, which got me here half an hour late). it could be worse, though. my office could've had a Door Buster.
*When the huz and i had 1st met, we realized that the holidays would be dicey. Both coming from Italian-American backgrounds, the holidays are a big deal to our mothers; in the interest of fairness, equinimity and to minimize agita, we decided to alternate the holidays: Thanksgiving at Casa Del CawfeeGuyMom, Christmas Eve at Chateau CawfeeMateMom, Christmas Day at Casa Del CawfeeGuyMom, Easter at Chateau CawfeeMateMom; the following year we'd switch (despite my mom swearing we spent all the holidays with my in-laws). on the years we'd spend Thanksgiving with the CawfeeMate family, we'd drive out to Long Island which meant leaving early in the morning and getting home late at night (the drive between LI and SI is nothing but bumper to bumber traffic).
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Card Attack
last week I bought the annual CawfeeFamily Christmas cards. got 'em at Papyrus*; $45 for two boxes of christmas cards...crazy, i know...but i love 'em to bits. Sunday, while watching Angie Jolie in Changeling (4 star performance BTW), I sat down with my Superman address book and various random return labels from last year, and wrote out all 30. I was about 15 short. no biggie. tomorrow is another day, and i can still get them out by December 1st. So, last night, I go back to the card store** on the way home, drop another $40 on two different box o' cards*** (plus the little envelope seals, because I'm so over licking envelopes that aren't mint flavored) and hop the bus home. through shear providence, I wind up with a double seat all to myself, and after the last stop, the seat next to me was still empty (nobody likes to disturb the guy who reads while listening to an iPod), so I drop the shopping bag on the seat and settle into my book (Lamb, by Christopher Moore, my favorite writer...this week...get it today on Kindle). an hour later, I get off the bus, where CawfeeMate is waiting to drive me home, and head to La Casa Del Cawfee to puppy kisses and din-din.
it's not 'til I'm in the bathroom, taking my "welcome home whiz" that it occurs to me that I've left the shopping bag on the fucking bus.
30 minutes later I've called 311 who's transferred me to the MTA who's hung up on me; called back 311 who transferred me back to the MTA who told me that the dispatcher of the SI depot wasn't answering the phone and that I should call back in an hour. one hour (a bowl of macaroni with peas, and one episode of Grey's Anatomy) later, I'm back on the phone with the MTA trying to track down the number for the SI depot. finally I get someone who has my cards, but absolutely no predisposition for conversation. the guy tells me that I better come in tonight, because if I don't the bag will be sent to the 34th street depot to the Main Lost and Found, in the morning. in true "CawfeeGuy" fashion, I rush off the phone (totally preempting Heroes) without finding out how late the SI lost and found is open. we call on the way and the guy is like "dude we're here all night", all sarcastic and placating-like, so I tell him "oh ok! I'm on my way" and he's all "great" in the most deadpan straight guy voice I've ever heard. I was instantly embarrassed for being that gay guy all upset over his christmas cards.
we**** get to the depot, which is naturally in one of the worst neighborhoods on SI, and work our way around the garage area. the mechanics direct us upstairs to the lost and found which is just a little window in this big huge room with dozens of portable bulletin boards COVERED in papers. it totally brought me back to the days when I visited my dad at the police station house. maybe it was the "municipal building smell", maybe it was the puke green walls, but it was total déjà vu. anyway, after the guy teased me for a few minutes about keeping the cards and sending them out himself, he handed my bag over and wished us a happy holiday.
I could not believe that the cards made it back to me. I'm pleasantly shocked and surprised! the MTA is totally getting a christmas card, this year.
*the bus stop is directly outside of the Papyrus on 42nd and 9th. in fact, I seem to miss at least one bus, whenever I stop to get cards.
** of course I missed a bus while in the store
*** annoying fact: they're having a sale buy 3 get 1 free and without a receipt from last week's purchase I was SOL. the new cards were just as cute as the 1st batch, though, so i almost don't mind.
**** CawfeeMate came with me and I was really glad because, well, i was going to Scaryville, Staten Island and i don't own a bulletproof vest. also, he's much better at talking to straight men-city employees. I come off shrieky and shrill (if you can believe it). if you want to get something done over the phone or in a restaurant, preferably with an angry black or caribbean lady, I'm your girl. if it involves Joey Bag of Metrocards or NYP Dino, call CawfeeMate.
it's not 'til I'm in the bathroom, taking my "welcome home whiz" that it occurs to me that I've left the shopping bag on the fucking bus.
30 minutes later I've called 311 who's transferred me to the MTA who's hung up on me; called back 311 who transferred me back to the MTA who told me that the dispatcher of the SI depot wasn't answering the phone and that I should call back in an hour. one hour (a bowl of macaroni with peas, and one episode of Grey's Anatomy) later, I'm back on the phone with the MTA trying to track down the number for the SI depot. finally I get someone who has my cards, but absolutely no predisposition for conversation. the guy tells me that I better come in tonight, because if I don't the bag will be sent to the 34th street depot to the Main Lost and Found, in the morning. in true "CawfeeGuy" fashion, I rush off the phone (totally preempting Heroes) without finding out how late the SI lost and found is open. we call on the way and the guy is like "dude we're here all night", all sarcastic and placating-like, so I tell him "oh ok! I'm on my way" and he's all "great" in the most deadpan straight guy voice I've ever heard. I was instantly embarrassed for being that gay guy all upset over his christmas cards.
we**** get to the depot, which is naturally in one of the worst neighborhoods on SI, and work our way around the garage area. the mechanics direct us upstairs to the lost and found which is just a little window in this big huge room with dozens of portable bulletin boards COVERED in papers. it totally brought me back to the days when I visited my dad at the police station house. maybe it was the "municipal building smell", maybe it was the puke green walls, but it was total déjà vu. anyway, after the guy teased me for a few minutes about keeping the cards and sending them out himself, he handed my bag over and wished us a happy holiday.
I could not believe that the cards made it back to me. I'm pleasantly shocked and surprised! the MTA is totally getting a christmas card, this year.
*the bus stop is directly outside of the Papyrus on 42nd and 9th. in fact, I seem to miss at least one bus, whenever I stop to get cards.
** of course I missed a bus while in the store
*** annoying fact: they're having a sale buy 3 get 1 free and without a receipt from last week's purchase I was SOL. the new cards were just as cute as the 1st batch, though, so i almost don't mind.
**** CawfeeMate came with me and I was really glad because, well, i was going to Scaryville, Staten Island and i don't own a bulletproof vest. also, he's much better at talking to straight men-city employees. I come off shrieky and shrill (if you can believe it). if you want to get something done over the phone or in a restaurant, preferably with an angry black or caribbean lady, I'm your girl. if it involves Joey Bag of Metrocards or NYP Dino, call CawfeeMate.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Post Christmas Monday
*yawn*
*stretch*
does anybody really wanna be back to work today?
yeah i didn't think so.
rumor has it, hardly anybody is working this week; whatev.
christmas means family and family means drama and drama means next year i have no desire to be with my family for christmas. i'm thinking Disney, the huz is thinking B & B. as long as it ain't near my kin, i don't care.
Friday thru Sunday however we spent with some of my preferred family, the Pie-Guy family on Friday and Team Magenta Sequins on Saturday and Sunday. We brought the Wii Fit we got from Santa Paws to both get togethers and the reactions were as hysterical as they were different. the highlights: English Girls hula-hooping till they turn purple, Bears running through celeb populated parks ("what's George Michael doing here"??), Fag Hags on Skis, mental cruelty to nice straight guys, and promises of (possibly nude) real hula hooping.
my own Wii Fit experience is better served in it's own post. for now, though, let me reiterate how much i adore the Pie-Guy family and Team MS. you guys absolutely rock and i cannot tell you how happy i am to know and love you all.
*stretch*
does anybody really wanna be back to work today?
yeah i didn't think so.
rumor has it, hardly anybody is working this week; whatev.
christmas means family and family means drama and drama means next year i have no desire to be with my family for christmas. i'm thinking Disney, the huz is thinking B & B. as long as it ain't near my kin, i don't care.
Friday thru Sunday however we spent with some of my preferred family, the Pie-Guy family on Friday and Team Magenta Sequins on Saturday and Sunday. We brought the Wii Fit we got from Santa Paws to both get togethers and the reactions were as hysterical as they were different. the highlights: English Girls hula-hooping till they turn purple, Bears running through celeb populated parks ("what's George Michael doing here"??), Fag Hags on Skis, mental cruelty to nice straight guys, and promises of (possibly nude) real hula hooping.
my own Wii Fit experience is better served in it's own post. for now, though, let me reiterate how much i adore the Pie-Guy family and Team MS. you guys absolutely rock and i cannot tell you how happy i am to know and love you all.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Your Multiple Choice Holiday Greeting
Stephen, Rufus and I wish you and youra) Husband
b) Wife
c) "roommate"
d) Boyfriend
e) Girlfriend
f) Lover(s)
g) slave
h) master
i) other:____________
j) all of the above
and/or your
a) family
b) pet(s)
c) all of the above
a
a) Merryb) Happy
c) Joyous
d) Safe
e) Bright
f) Peaceful
g) all of the above
i) Christmas
ii) Hanukka
iii) Solstice
iv) Kwanza
v) Thursday
vi) all of the above
and a Happy New Year!
i'll be out tomorrow and friday, so have a great weekend, kids!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Three Days till Christmas/Weekend Re-Cap
and i'm so excited i can't even stand it!
It was cold and snowy all Friday night so we hunkered down with christmas cookies and a frozen lasagna and watched the Closer and my new prime-time soap obsession, Footballer's Wives .
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Saturday was a day of "supposed to's". First, i was supposed to volunteer with my company's GLBT group to pack "blizzard boxes" at The Center for local AIDS/HIV+, homebound people, but was guilted into backing out so i could take my mom to finish her Christmas shopping. When i called her in the morning she bailed out on account of the snow & ice. So, i called Squirt and hit the mall with her; hjinx ensued (all i can say is that i wish i had an uncle with whom i could belt out Mariah's All i Want For Christmas, lemme tellya). we shopped, we lunched, we laughed. i love that kid and it's great to see her growing up into such a cute young woman (she's 12 going on 30 and has finally discovered make-up and perfume). After i dropped her off, i went home and watched Christmas Eve on Sesame Street which was my favorite Christmas special when i was a kid. it still made me all weepy (especially the Gift of the Magi scene with Ernie and Bert). Stephen rolled his eyes, patted my hand and retired to the kitchen to make a crumb cake to bring to my friend Paul's house later that evening. There, we hung out, caught up (his boyfriend had been planning a trip to Haiti for Halloween and we'd not seen him since) and ate the worst pizza i've ever had (i've still got agita), and played Wii (Brain Age Academy and Mario Party 8). a good time was had by all, much laughing and fun.
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Sunday was spent, largely, in my pajamas. i spend 90% of the day wrapping the last of my gifts and watching Buffy (Stephen: "Screw Twilight. Buffy and Angel are the greatest vampire love story, ever") while Stephen did...something (i've honestly got no idea, that's how absorbed i was in wrapping). later on we went food shopping, which we'd not done in about 3 weeks and i subtly engineered giving him another* one of his gifts** a few days early. afterward, we got back into our pj's, he wrapped his gifts (cleverly concealed in Amazon.com boxes) and we continued our Buffy-thon; all in the warm glow of the Christmas tree.
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now it's pretty early here, there's not alot of people about; it's colder than GW's heart outside, but wonderfully crisp and bright. i love this time of year!
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* i had ordered him a fresh sourdough sread "starter" from King Arthur's Flour a few weeks ago. i called their Customer Service center and requested the delivery be delayed so that the starter would arrive this week and the rep said "no problem". sadly the damn thing arrived 2 days after i ordred it, so he's been making sourdough bread for the last 2 weeks.
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**he's been talking about making Panettone for years but could never find the "pans" (oversized cupcake wrappers). i saw them on the King Arthur's website, and picked them up for him a few weeks ago. since he's off all week he figured it'd be a good opportunity to try out his recipe, even though he didn't have the pans. while shopping, he put some of the ingredients we didn't already have (candied citrus peel, golden raisins) in the cart and then took them out again. i put them back and gave him the pans when we got home.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Test Day: This Christmas
| Your Christmas is Modern |
 For you, Christmas is secular holiday. Religion doesn't play a big part in it. You are patient when it comes to Christmas. You don't celebrate too early, and you don't like seeing holiday decorations in October. You like Christmas traditions, but you're not uptight about them. You do things your way. You have some preferred ways of celebrating Christmas, but you're open to compromise. You enjoy Christmas more than anyone you know. Some might call it an obsession! You like giving to your friends and family during Christmas. You focus on the people you're close to. |
Test Day: Wrapped Up
| You Are Peaceful and Appreciative |
 You realize the holidays can be a hard time for some people, and you're there to lend your support. Not only do you enjoy giving during the holidays, you enjoy receiving greetings, love, and gifts. You graciously appreciate every holiday gesture made in your honor. Of all the types, you are the most likely to give a gift that's meaningful for you and the recipient. You're also the most likely to hand deliver as many of your gifts as possible. |
"Bah humbug/well that's too strong/it is my favorite holiday"~ Christmas Wrapping (the Waitresses)
Test Day: **PHEW**
| Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents |
 Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole! |
Monday, December 15, 2008
Dog Toys + Celebrities = Fabulous
besides, Mr Rufus already has a new toy that he's very happy with.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
_______ Best Non-Traditional Christmas Songs Pt 2
14. It Doesn't Often Snow at Christmas (the Pet Shop Boys): Christmas + the PSB = fabulous. it's worth a listen just to hear Neil Tennant keep repeating "Bing Crosby" over and over again.15. Spotlight on Christmas (Rufus Wainwright): god, i love this man's voice...i know i know he sometimes sounds whiny and prepubescent, but he's truly quite gifted...honest...
16. 2000 Miles: i actually have two different versions of this song, the original by the Pretenders and a cover by KT Tunstall which sounds just like the original.
17. December Will Be Magic Again (Kate Bush): she's like Sarah Brightman with a brain and a personality. this song is another "winter anthem", not Christmas specific, but it's alot of fun nonetheless.
18. Fairytale of New York: again...a winter anthem, but alot of fun. i've got two versions of this one, too; the original by the Pogues & Kristy MacColl and another cover by KT Tunstall (which is more PC 'cuz she changed the word faggot).
19. Lonley This Christmas (KT Tunstall): this kid's got such a sweet and interesting voice; it really works well with the sad and poingant Blue Christmas-esque lyrics.
20. Calling It Christmas (Joss Stone & Elton John): it hit me last night on the bus that i have a thing for pretty blonde white girls who sound like big black divas (read: Anastacia, Joss Stone, Natasha Bedingfield, Lisa Stansfield, and Taylor Dayne). this song is wonderfully rich and beautiful, Joss and Auntie Elton melding together wonderfully.
21. Another Lonely Christmas (Prince): it sounds like every other Prince song but with allusions to Christmas.
22. Thank God It's Christmas (Queen): fantastic song! very Freddy Mercury; very Queen. very fabulous
23. Let's Be Naughty and Save Santa the Trip (Elliot Yamin): he's got such a great voice; like a richer Stevie Wonder. this song is all sorts of jazz/vocally and cute.
24. The Little Match Seller/Silent Night (the Puppini Sisters): even though it's sung to the tune of Silent Night this fits the bill; it's sweet and sad and beautiful thanks to their gorgeous voices.
25. Jesus What a Wonderful Child (Mariah Carey): sweet merciful crap, but i love everything about Mariah's Merry Christmas cd and this is one of the best song on it. why? 'cuz Mz Carey LOSES HER SHIT at the end in true gospel style!
26. Christmas Conga (Cyndi Lauper): by far, one of my favorite christmas songs, ever. this whole cd (Merry Christmas and Have a Nice Life) is chock full of new and different Christmas songs (Home on Christmas Day, Early Christmas Morning, It Feels Like Christmas, Minnie and Santa and December Child) and a couple of covers (like a polka version of Rockin Around the Christmas Tree).
27. My Only Wish (Britney Spears): it's "cute and perky Britney" (as opposed to "crazy trailer trash Britney") and really cute.
28. I'll Be Home With Bells On: i've got two distinctly different versions of this gem. the 1st is the original by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers; it's cute and country and ridiculously Dolly! the other is RuPaul and Michelle Visage which is so stupidly gay and campy that it's worth the $3 you'll spend on the album, Ho Ho Ho.
29. Breath of Heaven/Mary's Song (Jessica Simpson): the rest of this CD is fluffy and kind of annoying (her cover of Baby It's Cold Outside makes me wanna punch her in the throat) but this song stands out with it's intertesting lyrics, wonderful arrangement and kick ass vocals. it really showcases J-Simp's pipes.
30. It's Christmas Time Again (Jessica Simpson): the other good song on the cd, but only because listening to her sing it you'd think her name was I Can't Believe It's Not Britney.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
_______ Best Non-Traditional Christmas Songs
Let's face it, how many times can you hear White Christmas, Jingle Bells and Frosty the Snowman? I mean even non-traditional versions of the same songs (ie. Linda Eder's bombastically fabulous version of O Holy Night and Cyndi Lauper's trippy spaced out version of Silent Night) are still the same old songs...and a totally separate list that i can spin into a blog posting.Here's a fairly short list of music i've picked up in my many, many, years which is Christmasy without being tired....
(in no particular order other than how they pop up on my iPod, throughout the day)
1. a Lovely Way to Spend Christmas (Kristen Chenoweth): from the album of the same name.
2. All I Want for Christmas (Joss Stone): not that All I Want for Christmas that Mariah rocked out on...this one is sultry and smooth and with completely different lyrics.
3. Baby It's Cold Outside: now i dunno if people would consider this a Christmas song, but it's on several different Christmas CD's 'cuz the song's about...well...the cold. either way, it's makes a nice change from real christmas songs. the best version, by far, is by Liza Minelli & Alan Cumming and is from the Broadway Cares: Home for Christmas cd. She's slurring all over the place, he's all sexy and Scottish (or is it welsh?). They banter and sing...it's fabulous.
4. Mary Did You Know: i've got a couple of different versions of this; one by Kimberly Locke, which is slow and very thoughtful...almost somber. The other is by the incomparable Kristine W and is more up. both are great songs.
5. It's Christmas and Christmas Carol (the Oakridge Boys): my mom had Christmas with the Oakridge Boys on vinyl when i was a kid and used to play it over and over again while we made Christmas cookies and decorated the tree; these two songs were always my favorite.
6. Christmas Caravan* (the Squirrel Nut Zippers): totally different and new christmas music (except for a fantastic Southern Jazz Band rendition of Sleigh Ride).
7. the Christmas Song (the Ravonettes): not, Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, mind you. the Ravonettes have a rock/retro-girl group kinda sound...with a male vocalist...very interesting.
8. the Bells of St. Pauls (Linda Eder): while the rest of her Christmas CD (Christmas Stays the Same) is an exercise in fabulous covers and alternate versions of traditional holiday music, this song stands alone as an anthemic ballad that calls to mind (at least to John and myself) a video shot, on location, in London featuring Linda in swirling snow, pigeons and a huge mink coat...running throughout the town and ending up in the bell tower like Quasimodo. i defy you to listen to it and not get chills.
9. Gonna Eat for Christmas (Rosie O'Donnell & Gloria Estefan): the title says it all...'cuz that's what this holiday is all about! Love Ro & Glo!
10. She Won't Be Home for Christmas (Erasure): this song is so sweet and so sad and, like most Erasure songs, doesn't make a whole lot of sense...
11. Aye Aye Aye It's Christmas (Ricky Martin): can you think of anything better than Ricky Martin in a big red bow? it's a great alternative to the terribly repetitive Feliz Navidad...
12. Merry Christmas (Bette Midler): Cool Yule is my absolute, favorite, christmas cd and this is song is wonderfully sentimental and sweet.
13. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm: another song that's not so much "christmas" as "winter anthem" (see #3), i've got a couple of versions of this song but the best are Doris Day and Billie Holliday; quite frankly, Doris sounds like she's about to get fucked-but-good in a sleigh and Billie is just Billie.
"It's hard to get sick of christmas music since none of the music you've been playing sounds like Christmas music"~ Stephen
Monday, December 08, 2008
Christmas Checklist
1.Cards
write outaddressmail
2. Tree
haul outdecorate
3. Cookies
- make dough (Italian 7 Layer, Italian Lemon Drops, Snickerdoodles, Cream Cheese Tasties, Eggnog Spritz, & Brown Sugar Cut-Outs) and refrigerate.
- Bake
4. Gifts (purchase)
StephenRufusMomDadBrother & Sister-in-LawSquirtFrangelicaJohn&JustinBri-the-Pie Guy- Jenn
BenMS& DugChewieCunty (Kris Kringle)
5. Gifts wrapped
Friday, December 05, 2008
That's Not a Popper...
i'm trying my damndest to think of somebody i can buy this for.
anybody....anyone at all...
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