Friday Morning Quandary

how is it that i've been working out for over a week and back on Weight Watchers since monday, yet somehow i've gained weight? i feel like edina fucking monsoon...or oprah bloody winfrey.

"My body absorbs mud! Every pore is now an overeater"~ Death (Edina Monsoon)

Just Fondue It

Don't ask me why, but a few years ago Stephen and i received a fondue fountain from my brother and his wife, for christmas. again: i have no idea why; we'd never expressed even the slightest interest in owning one, especially not to them (whom we see so infrequently due to our mutual dislike for each other). anyway, after using it once with a bunch of friends, we decided that chocolate fondue is fun...for about 10 minutes; how much chocolate covered _____ can one eat?

according to the "cookbook" which came with it, you can also make a cheese fondue fountain, which offers even fewer possibilities for variety and a higher chance you'll die of a heart attack after prolonged exposure.

now, don't get me wrong, i love cheese and i love chocolate. i do. it's almost criminal how much i adore cheese (think: Goldiemouse and the Three Cats), it's just that with this whole Weight Watchers thing, the thought of dipping hunks of bread in a waterfall of hot cheese and then eating it is both strangely attractive and repellent, all at the same time (think: Jeff Goldblum). ditto the chocolate fountain; as much as i love chocolate covered strawberries, bananas, marshmallows and pretzels (what else can you dip in chocolate, btw?), more than a couple of pieces seems ridiculously excessive.

during last week's cleaning-binge, we found the fountain buried in the back of a closet next to the weed whacker and a huge box of vhs movies, which prompted stephen to wonder if perhaps we should set it up next week when our parents come over for his birthday. i'll admit, i was very tempted by the idea, but then i thought of having to clean it afterward and how much chocolate we'd wasted after 10 minutes of dipping various fruits, not to mention how many points chocolate and fruit are, and it seemed like less of a good idea; a clear waste of money and very unhealthy for all of us. maybe, next time we have a big party (10 + people, or maybe just MS and N'il), but not when it's just our parents.

besides, i don't think there will be room for it on the credenza with the life sized bust of stephen i'm having carved out of cheese...

Shockingly Fabulous Starbucks/Weight Watchers Fact of the Day

Venti
Iced
5 Shot
Sugar-Free Caramel
Skim
Latte

2 POINTS

what can i say; i'm a man who's easily impressed.

Weight a Minute 9: the Return

in case i haven't made it too obvious, i've been off Weight Watchers since the wedding; though i did attempt to go back "on program" a few weeks ago, i didn't last a day. with these crazy hours i've been working, it was just too much to concentrate on.

the eye opener was putting on my shorts from last september and having them feel ever-so-slightly snug. i didn't like that feeling, one bit. so, here i am again, back on the WW train headed to Slimville.

i anticipate it's going to be a very short trip, as i only want to lose the 10 lbs i gained since the wedding. wish me luck.

Treading Water

sometimes i have absolutely no idea what to post on my blog. things around here are status quo: the puppy is grand, married life is wonderful, work is just as miserable as it's been for the last 2 years, my weight is good, the brain tumor is still gone; there's really nothing to report.

i'm happy and content with what's going on in my life; i guess no news is good news, but it makes for a pretty boring blog...

Thrilling Weight Watchers Fact of the Day

3 Tootsie-Pop Miniatures = 1 point!

Weight a Minute 5: Flush the Pounds Away

After 1 week i'm down 4 lbs (ok...it's 3.9 but i forgot to take off my ring...). this is why i love Weight Watchers: immediate results from subtle changes in behavior.

most notably, i'm back to drinking way too much water throughout the day. how do i know? i spend more time at the urinal than at my desk.

c'est la vie. i'll gladly sacrifice quality internet shopping time to fit back into my True Colors Tour and SF MoMA t-shirts.

2008: Making Me Long for the Peace and Tranquility of 2007

well it's the 2nd day of 2008 and so far i'm not impressed.

as it stands, i started back on Weight Watchers this morning (5 shot-venti-skim-caramel latte: 5 points). i'm definitely not stressing over it; i only want to lose 10 lbs. last year it only took me 3 weeks to lose 10 lbs. i know i can do it. nope not worth stressing over.

the fact that i'm not talking to anyone in my family, that's something to stress over. actually, to be more accurate, i'm not stressing. i'm upset and numb all at the same time, but i'm not feeling stressed over it.

stress is what i feel an hour before and several days after i spend more than 20 minutes with them. stress is what i felt yesterday at dinner, gathered around the table. stress is what i felt when i stormed out of the house, and drove home. stress is what i felt when my mom called an hour later to complain that stephen didn't say good night after he followed me out with my sweater/jacket.

Weight a Minute 4: Ho-Ho-Hold On

screw weight watchers.
it's only 10 lbs.
i still feel great. i just don't have the patience right now.
i'll go back after the holidays, i swear.

the Latest Project(s)

whereas i'd rather spend our evenings, this week, writing out the christmas cards i bought this past weekend (keep an eye on your mailbox, kids)...stephen has worn me down, finally, and last night we began cataloging my comic book collection with the hopes of selling them to a comic shop this coming weekend.

rifling through the huge crates i've amassed since high school (4 huge crates with about 500 books, total), was definitely nostalgic . i can't tell you the number of hours i spent, in my room, reading comics, bagging them and painstakingly checking them in the price-guides. having to get rid of them definitely hurts, but it's all part of the same practical actions of married life. they're taking up valuable space in our 3rd floor loft and (to be quite honest) i've not looked them since we moved in together 3 years ago (and probably a few years before that).

if you're interested, let me know and i'll send you the list.

in other news, i'm heading back to Weight Watchers this week.
yeah, i've been off the wagon since the wedding and it's time i climb back on (before the new clothes i bought no longer fit). i was using "the holidays" as an excuse, but i realize that's all they are: an excuse. there's no reason i can't go back to monitoring my intake, the way i was. while it won't be fun turning down the cookies and candy that are proffered throughout the season, i will survive.

i'll be honest, i never "suffered" on WW like some people seem to. i'm clearly not meant to live at 175 lbs without...help...i know i have the self-control and determination, so the 10 lbs should fall off in a few weeks.

Star Struck Pt. 4

Leo: Find a different source of style inspiration; the one you were following is no longer appropriate for the current you!

translation: bitch, them jeans is too tight. buy a mumu and head back to weight watchers. 5 pounds since the wedding? please!

or

what's with the superhero t-shirts and the bootcut jeans? you ain't 21 anymore. grow up.

the universe hates leos. i'm feeling insecure, old and fat.
is it obvious?

Master the Possibilities

Iced-Venti-5-shot-Skim-Caramel-Latte: 5 points
Reduced-Fat Turkey Bacon, Cholesterol-Free Egg, Reduced-Fat White-Cheddar on a Multigrain English Muffin: 7 Points

a Delicious Breakfast on the "Fat Friday" before the 3 Day Weekend: Priceless

Weight a Minute 3: the Big Three-Oh

i've done it.
rather: i'm done.
as of yesterday i have reached my Weight Watchers' goal: thirty pounds in 28 weeks.

i finally allowed myself to be recognized at a meeting. up till now i've not admitted to "the group" how much i'd lost, week to week. i felt it was too personal. Stephen finally told me that (like a wake) it wasn't just for me that i should let the group know; hearing success stories was good for everyone. so, yesterday when the leader (a wonderfully genuine and earthy woman named Louise) stopped, mid-thought, looked at me and said: "you look really thin", i told her that i had made goal.

she lit up and asked everyone to applaud; naturally i was terribly embarrassed. personally, i think it's psychotic to clap for someone for not being chubby, but i figured it was her party and she could applaud if she wanted to. when she asked me what was the hardest part, i told her honestly that i (still) had a hard time getting all my points in, in a given day. naturally she and everyone else was surprised and (when one guy actually snickered) i felt kinda stupid, but i wanted them to know that not everyone has the same "weight challenge"; some of us are fat 'cuz we under-eat. she also asked what was the biggest help (it was an obvious bait for me to say YOU LOUISE! but since the meetings really didn't help at all) and so i told her that it was Stephen. honestly, if it wasn't for him cooking every night when i'm on my way home and being able to calculate everything, i'd be screwed. anyway, she nodded appreciatively (very Sally Jesse), clapped s'more and continued on; eventually i stopped blushing.

so what's next? i have to maintain it for six more weeks and then i become a "lifetime member". i'll just be happy to stay on track for the wedding and not gain too much while in San Francisco. right now, i feel fantastic and think that this is the best i've looked in years. i'm actually happy about how i look and recognize a considerable spring in my step when i walk around in my size 34 pants; i have no intention of ever needing 38's ever again.

"I'm a pretty girl, mama"~ Louise (Gypsy)

It Could Be Worse, It Could Be Raining...Oh...Wait...

i will not let the events which took place earlier this week get me down. Truth to be told, it was just wednesday which was like a complete and total kick in the balls...

1. the rain really got to me. i left the house looking fabulous; loved my outfit, loved my hair, loved the whole package. i arrived at work looking like i'd been pushed into the pool and then thrown down a steep hill.
2. getting to work late really chafed me; i'm usually here by 7:15 (even though i'm supposed to start at 9); getting here at 8:30 threw me into a complete tailspin and kept me behind for the entire day.
3. i was given someone else's desk to check up on; apparently she's a complete fuck up and needs constant monitoring and i was told that because i'm "very smart and organized", that i was the one to monitor her (despite having no idea how her job is done).
4. before i left i was hauled into Zeus' office with my supervisor (Snarky) and his supervisor (Cunty), to be screamed at for 10 minutes, because of two errors from last month (i totally deserved to be balled out for it, but i was having a helluva day and it really didn't help). the last words spoken were "next time one of you gets fired".
5. the ride home was just as fun as the ride in; it took two hours instead of the usual hour and a half and there was no a/c.
6. i couldn't find my Weight Watchers tracking info (i've been looking since, and am now convinced it's lost forever) and they couldn't find any of their records for me. i was weighed, nonetheless, and if i remember last week's number correctly, i gained a pound (this didn't bother me nearly as much as it could have, only because who really expects to lose weight the week of their birthday).

yesterday was morbid afterglow from Wednesday. i was feeling stressed and angry and terribly depressed.

it's friday and i'm determined to have a better day, even if it kills me.

Did You Know? (or MS Wants a Real Post Pt. 2)

if you make a make a fluffernutter the night before, wrap said fluffernutter in plastic wrap, leave the fluffernutter on the countertop over night, and then put the fluffernutter vertically into your man-bag; by time you're ready to eat it, all the marshmallow fluff will have slid out of the sandwich and pooled in the bottom of the plastic wrap making the last three bites super-saturated with marshmallow fluff?

me neither, but that's what happened to my lunch today.

live and learn.

Btw: 2 Tbs Peanut Butter + 2 slices Arnold Double Fiber Bread + 1 Tbs Fluff = 7 points (in case you're interested)

We've Secretly Replaced Cawfee Guy's Regular Drink With Something Else...Let's See If He Notices!

as of Saturday, i'm down to 178 lbs.
that means i've lost another point from my daily ration.
i now have 29 points, from the 32 when i started.
i know...it's not that significant of a drop, and i still have more points than those starving kids in Connecticut, but it does make a difference. when you're used to eating a certain amount of food a day and then can't, it's kinda traumatic.

especially when you go to Starbucks to get your usual (iced-venti-5-shot-skim-vanilla-latte) and you're given something else. there's one word in my drink's title that makes all the difference. can you guess which one? that's right. skim.

Skim milk vs Whole milk is a difference of 2 points. a seven point latte versus a five point latte.
two points is a Kashi Dark Chocolate and Cherry bar or a 100 calorie pack of Goldfish Pretzels.

i dont' even like whole milk. it's like drinking melted butter.
this has thrown my whole day out of whack.

i'm hungry, but i'm afraid to eat.
my PB & J sandwich is 7 points. that leaves me 15 points for dinner and post dinner snacking.
i'll never make it to lunchtime.

24 Pounds, Baby!

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Three Day Weekend

so we've got another 3 day weekend planned...
tomorrow is the True Colors concert. MS is driving down up from Connecticut to Staten Island and then we're gonna head down to Atlantic City. i'm really looking forward to it; the last concert i went to was Rufus at Radio City, last year. i've never seen Erasure, nor Debbie Harry and i'm all psyched about Cyndi. when she opened for Cher (during the Farewell Tour that Wouldn't End), i cried during True Colors, both times i saw her. i took off from work tomorrow, just so we'd be able to get to AC in a leisurely fashion (not that it'll stop me from speeding).

Saturday is gonna be nice and chill. i'm sure we're gonna get home very late from the concert (not enought dough to stay over in AC). so we're gonna probably sleep in, Stephen will make a Weight Watchers friendly brunch for the 3 of us (fat free Huevos Rancheros?) and we can just hang out. i should go to the mall and find my dad a gift for sunday, though...

Sunday is Father's Day so we'll be with our respective dad's; stephen in Long Island and me elsewhere on Staten Island. seperating on holidays is a drag, but what can you do? these days are about them not us. actually...the only thing i mind is not having the car so i can make my quick escape, post dessert...

i've nothing else to report.
has this blog gotten dull, or is it just me?

Here's to the Ladies Who Lunch

while i slave away at the office (writing blog entries, gossiping with co-workers, wearing out theNext Blog button and browsing for wedding favors) stephen is home, entertaining the neighborhood women, on the patio, with his homemade pepperoni pizza and lemon cake*.

jealous? fuck yeah!

*i actually made it for a co-worker who was leaving, but it looked too gross to bring to work. that's the last time i attempt a Weight Watchers recipe. ever. cake is one of those things i'll never fuck around with, ever again.

Elusive Pt. 2: One Week Later

i did it.

20 lbs in 16 weeks.