Y'Gotta Get a Gimmick*

*this is probably the most un-PC post in the history of my blog, but i feel compelled to write it. i apologize in advance to anyone i may will offend.

i've been noticing the homeless alot more lately; not that it's difficult, mind you, when 95% of the homeless i encounter seem to be auditioning for America's Indigents Got Talent. every down-and-outter i see (on my way to, or home from, work) has either a song they're singing (Friday's Karaoke Guy, outside of Macy's), an instrument they're playing (the F train's Saxophone Guy and Little Mexican Man with his Guitar), a dance they wanna share (the 34th Street/Broadway Breakdancing Alliance) or a role they're playing ("I'm homeless, hungry and broke; i've been looking for work since 7am..."). Not even a dyed in the wool new yorker can pretend nothing's happening when (Lying in the Gutter but Looking at the ) Star Search is being performed 3 feet away in an enclosed space...but don't think i haven't tried...

see, the other thing i've noticed is that the singers, dancers, orators and musicians do much better than the guy with a coffee cup and a cardboard sign ("will leave you alone for spare change"). i guess it really is just me, but other New Yorkers are willing to part with their hard earned pennies and nickles in exchange for some low-level entertainment and a feeling of "giving back". the more i hear, the less i wanna give; i just wanna be left alone during my commute. i have an iPod thankyouverymuch; don't wanna hear "Nature Boy" on the sax, or "Blinky the One-Eyed Paraplegic sings the Billie Holliday Song book" and No, Paco, i do not want to buy your cd. maybe i'm a hard-hearted bastard or a cold hearted snake, but combining dinner theater and strap hanging is not a good idea. i only open my pocket to "legit" entertainment: fabulous pre-op trannies lip synching Kylie Minogue tunes, without knowing the words.