Poker? I Hardly Know Her...

SO…every christmas my mom gives me lottery ticket (a scratch off). Every year I don’t win.


This year I didn’t bother scratching it off, til this morning.

It’s some poker thing. I know nothing about poker. But you have to make the best hand on the card to beat “the champ”.

Anyhoo…I scratch it off and almost died because I think I’ve won five hundred dollars with two pairs (3s and 8s). Then I look again and I realize I’ve won a million dollars (two pairs, Ks and 8s). the Champ doesn’t have anything.

I show our intern because…well…he’s a straight guy who plays poker with his friends in the dorms, and he confirms that it looks like I won a million dollars.

So I run down to the convenience store in our building. Wait on line. Text CawfeeMate that he may be married to a millionaire. we cyber-gag.

When the guy at the counter scans it, it comes up LOSER. So I’m trying to explain that I won and he’s like NO. if it doesn’t scan as a WINNER you LOST.

GOOD DAY, SIR.

So I walk upstairs...all dejected...and try to figure out how I lost. when the champ has no pairs, no three of a kind, no straight; just a bunch of random diamonds.

Poop.

Flush.

High End Moral Dilemma #237

I go to the same Starbucks, every day, before i go in to work.  It's conveniently located up the block from my office and is barely a mentionable detour, on the way from the F train. Granted, it can get ridiculously busy and overcrowded, throughout the day, but it's the only Starbucks within walking distance. Oh and did i mention i'm currently in a battle for Mayor of this particular Starbucks, on Foursquare? i digress. I know all the baristas; most by name, but a couple only by face; and they, in turn, know me and my “drinks”. Most of them know that Monday through Thursday I get a venti bold classic with 3 pumps and Fridays are usually a 5 shot venti skim something or other (initially this was to limit my caffeine and sugar but has, more recently, been to save money). Most of them also know to wait for what kind of 5 shot venti skim beverage i want; sometimes it's a Caramel Latte, sometimes it's a Peppermint Mocha, once in a blue moon it's a White Mocha; lately it's been a Cinnamon Dolce Latte.  sorry, another digression...where was it? oh yeah...