High End Moral Dilemma #237

I go to the same Starbucks, every day, before i go in to work.  It's conveniently located up the block from my office and is barely a mentionable detour, on the way from the F train. Granted, it can get ridiculously busy and overcrowded, throughout the day, but it's the only Starbucks within walking distance. Oh and did i mention i'm currently in a battle for Mayor of this particular Starbucks, on Foursquare? i digress. I know all the baristas; most by name, but a couple only by face; and they, in turn, know me and my “drinks”. Most of them know that Monday through Thursday I get a venti bold classic with 3 pumps and Fridays are usually a 5 shot venti skim something or other (initially this was to limit my caffeine and sugar but has, more recently, been to save money). Most of them also know to wait for what kind of 5 shot venti skim beverage i want; sometimes it's a Caramel Latte, sometimes it's a Peppermint Mocha, once in a blue moon it's a White Mocha; lately it's been a Cinnamon Dolce Latte.  sorry, another digression...where was it? oh yeah...

Ho-Ho-Hold UP

The holidays are right around the corner and I’m totally not having any of it. I’ve been seeing all kinds of Christmas decorations in my travels around 3 of the 5 boroughs, since Halloween. Wasn’t Halloween, like, last Tuesday? “My” Starbucks has had their iconic red cups since November 1st and started serving Christmas Blend this past Monday. It’s all happening way too quickly for me.

R-E-S-P-etc.

This post probably won’t win me Miss Congeniality; it might actually be cause for the Boy Scouts of America to revoke a few merit badges and the ACLU to cut up my membership card.

I was heading home on the bus the other day and people were getting on, at various stops, along 42nd street. By the time the bus had hit 7th avenue, all the seats were taken, which is nothing new; usually, the bus home is packed, with only one or two empty seats. When the bus hit 8th avenue, the bus driver explicitly told the people waiting that the bus was full and it was SRO. Again, this isn’t uncommon, either; at least once a week, there are people standing in the aisle. Well this particular night, only one person opted to stand. He was a heavy set, older man (late sixties?), clearly as affected by the heat as everyone else. What struck me, though, is that he got on knowing there weren’t any seats available and then looked from passenger to passenger with an expression that I interpreted to mean “ok, which one of you is going to stand so I can sit”? I don’t know why I interpreted it as such, he never said that out loud (at least not that I could hear over my headphones), but that’s what my inner Jean Grey picked up. He just looked so…expectant. i won’t lie and tell you that I leapt up and gave him my seat, because that’s not what happened. I’ll admit, I was very tempted to give him my seat; but I didn’t.

June Is GLBT Pride Month IV

"I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short"~Armistead Maupin

Attack of the 7" Latte` or Your Christmas Cackle, a Day Early

Picture it: Downtown Brooklyn. a dark, cold and rainy Christmas Eve morning, sometime around 7:15.

a young(ish), handsome(ish) office worker has just come from Starbucks, where he had the nicest chat with the incredibly amiable and flirty little asian girl, behind the counter, and is walking back to his office; Venti-Skim-6 shot-Caramel Latte` in one hand and a Low-Fat Turkey Bacon and cheese breakfast sandwich in the other. He' s looking fierce(ish) in gorgeously ass-hugging jeans and a butch(ish) looking plaid shirt (today is a company approved dress down day) and ski jacket; he's got the Sal Sol Orchestra belting out a disco-christmas medley in his ears and is feeling pretty damn good about life.

Unexpectedy, he hits a patch of black ice and feels himself starting to slip. reflexively, he tightens his grip on his latte, thus causing the inch of foam on top to squirt out of the little sippy hole, all over his face. Suddenly the Sal Soul Orchestra is a bit too loud in his ears, he can't see out of his glasses and the fierce(ish) facade crumbles like a dried out scone. he laments not grabbing his customary handful of napkins and shuffles into the building. the people with whom he shares the elevator pretend not to notice the foam dripping off his ears and chin.

the only upside is that it was only the foam which squirted out and not the actual latte...which would've been a horrible waste of coffee (and seven dollars).

Shockingly Fabulous Starbucks/Weight Watchers Fact of the Day

Venti
Iced
5 Shot
Sugar-Free Caramel
Skim
Latte

2 POINTS

what can i say; i'm a man who's easily impressed.

Shirt Woot Knows

Hump Day

this whole Daylight Savings Time thing is a bad idea.
whereas i used to leave for work when it was barely light out and get home in the dark, now i leave in the dark and get home for sunset.
whoopee.
it's 9am and i'm half done with my coffee, yet i still can't seem to wake up or get warm.

4:20pmUPDATE:
nothing's changed, really...i'm still sleepy, but now we can heap "hungry" and "desperate to leave work so i can sleep on the bus" to the list.

Are We Having an Earthquake or is it Just Me?

interior: a Starbucks in Downtown Brooklyn, 7:10 am
CawfeeGuy: 5 Shot Venti Skim Caramel Latte', please.
StarbucksGuy: sure thing.
CawfeeGuy pays and stands, waiting for drink
StarbucksGuy: hey...since i'm already pulling six shots, do you want six in your drink?
CawfeeGuy: um, yeah...sure.
StarbucksGuy: great...here you go.
CawfeeGuy: Thanks!

interior: an office in Downtown Brooklyn, 11:47 am

CawfeeGuy: (via e-mail) i need something to do...i'm kinda bouncing of the walls here....maybe i'll take a walk...
Fabulously Sarcastic Co-Worker: IM SHOCKED.. WHERE U GOING IF U LEAVE UR DESK.. THIS IS A RECORD DAY
CawfeeGuy: i dunno...maybe back to Starbucks?
FSCW: WORD?
CawfeeGuy: Actually, scratch that…i’m WAY to caffeinated for another starbucks run...i feel like i did an 8 ball
FSCW: lol… the fact that u wanna walk iz killin me.lol
(phone rings)
CawfeeGuy: ____ ______ this is David speaking, how can i help you?
FSCW: just there right.. u even sound happy to be at work.

yup...6 shots? bad idea. i think i found my limit.

It's an Insult I Tell You

on my way into the office i stopped at "the Man in the Box" who sells coffee outside our building.

he's got this little 4 x 4 steel shack from which he sells coffee, donuts, rolls, etc. for the longest time, it was the best "brown coffee" (read: American coffee, as opposed to "black coffee" which is espresso) in the area; dark, flavorful, and strong. it was also reasonably cheap at $1.25 for a large. i'd go there every morning and get the same thing: a large coffee, dark and sweet (read: a little bit of milk with alot of sugar). the guy who worked there (hunky young latin fellow with an ass you could serve drinks on) knew my drink; i didn't even have to speak (which is worth more than gold to me, 1st thing in the morning). it was wonderful; i'd get my one cup of coffee on the way in from the subway and another with the coffee klatsch. while i was on Weight Watchers, i tapered off to the one cup with the klatsch, except on wednesdays when i would treat myself to a Starbuck's latte.

a few months ago, something changed; the hunky young latin guy (who i found out was the owner's grandson) wasn't there anymore. his father (far more latin and incredibly un-hunky...actually he's quite scary) took over. the coffee got lighter and more expensive ($1.40). the worst part: he didn't know me. i had to tell him my order every time. it was almost painful.

anyway...back to this morning...
i asked for a large coffee, dark and sweet.
he handed me my bag.
i paid.
i came inside to my desk.
i took one sip and almost gagged.
all that's in the cup is milk and sugar.
barely a suggestion of coffee.

i haven't drank coffee this way since i'm 4 years old.

this is why people frequent Starbucks and other big chains...the coffee is always the same.

this is no way to start a day.

Latte` for Work

CawfeeGuy: Venti-Five-Shot-Skim-Caramel-Latte, please.
Starbucks Guy: Sure thing. *starts pulling shots* that's alot of espressso...
CG: yeah well...i like my lattes strong.
SbG: but wow...5 shots...
CG: **shrug**
SbG: did you know that takes up half a venti cup?
CG: um...no.
SbG: yeah...lookit that!
CG: i wouldn't have it any other way.

As Seen On My Starbucks Cup...

"Hold the door for somebody laden with packages. Serve hot chocolate and coffee to passing carolers. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Or do something nice for somebody you don't even know. When you pass the cheer through the little moments like this, you create warmth that outshines the brightest holiday lights".

in 31 years, i've never seen a caroler.
do they have them outside New York? is that really something that people do; walk around the neighborhood singing Christmas carols? i think they'd be stoned in Brooklyn (and i don't mean "stoned", like "don't bogart that 'yule log', man").

Today's Surprise...

Starbucks' Venti-5 Shot-Skim-White-Chocolate-Mocha...

De-frickin-lish!

Master the Possibilities

Iced-Venti-5-shot-Skim-Caramel-Latte: 5 points
Reduced-Fat Turkey Bacon, Cholesterol-Free Egg, Reduced-Fat White-Cheddar on a Multigrain English Muffin: 7 Points

a Delicious Breakfast on the "Fat Friday" before the 3 Day Weekend: Priceless

We've Secretly Replaced Cawfee Guy's Regular Drink With Something Else...Let's See If He Notices!

as of Saturday, i'm down to 178 lbs.
that means i've lost another point from my daily ration.
i now have 29 points, from the 32 when i started.
i know...it's not that significant of a drop, and i still have more points than those starving kids in Connecticut, but it does make a difference. when you're used to eating a certain amount of food a day and then can't, it's kinda traumatic.

especially when you go to Starbucks to get your usual (iced-venti-5-shot-skim-vanilla-latte) and you're given something else. there's one word in my drink's title that makes all the difference. can you guess which one? that's right. skim.

Skim milk vs Whole milk is a difference of 2 points. a seven point latte versus a five point latte.
two points is a Kashi Dark Chocolate and Cherry bar or a 100 calorie pack of Goldfish Pretzels.

i dont' even like whole milk. it's like drinking melted butter.
this has thrown my whole day out of whack.

i'm hungry, but i'm afraid to eat.
my PB & J sandwich is 7 points. that leaves me 15 points for dinner and post dinner snacking.
i'll never make it to lunchtime.

Mr. Evil (I Didn't Have the Patience to Go to Evil Medical School)

i think i might be a horrible person (i mean aside from the last two posts), but in the spirit of attempting to be a better person, i'll give you the short version of why:

on Saturday, we took Squirt to lunch and then to play miniature golf. midway through golfing i had the bright idea to buy 3 tokens for the batting cages. after our last hole i gave 1 to stephen, 1 to Squirt and kept one for myself. not unexpectadly, stephen looked surprised when i handed him one, but grabbed a helmet and bat nonetheless. fast forward 10 pitches to when he screams, throws the bat down, grabs his thumb and blows off a litany of profanity that made me blush. we grab an "ice pack" from the attendent (it was a re-filled Dasani Bottle, frozen) and sit on a bench. the thumb, meanwhile, is swelling and turning the most gorgeously un-thumblike shade of cerulean. i'm all set to drive to the hospital.

(begin unnecessarily long flashback) i'm totally thinking back to when i was 7, in Little League and got hit in the thumb by a pitch. mom and dad rushed me to the hospital 'cuz the pressure under my thumbnail was unbearable. we got this doctor who had only been in the United States for 3 days who wanted to use a paperclip and a lighter to relieve the pressure(i swear to god, ask my mother). my mother screamed. my father screamed. i screamed. the nurse screamed that they had a laser for that. the laser was used, the pressure was relieved and eventually the nail turned black and fell off. (end unnecessarily long flashback)

Stephen tells me no, it's not that serious. i attempt 3 more times and get 3 more refusals; everything's fine. he's a PT, i'm in finance. slightly mollified, i grab his discarded bat and helmet and hit 18 of the 22 softballs pitched to me.

fast forward 4 hours (past the kicking myself that i suggested the batting cages and past the frequent suggestions that blue isn't a good color for thumbs and maybe we should go to the hospital) to me standing over the sink, washing a couple of things that can't go in the dishwasher. in walks stephen, clutching his dripping homemade ice pack. "i think maybe i should go get this x-rayed; it might be broken". i ask him to give me ten minutes to finish the dishes and he looks at me like i asked him to cut off a pinkie toe, dip it in sugar and feed it to me. dishes get done, i grab my keys and we head to the ER.
en route, i sheepishly ask him if he would mind if i stop at Starbucks.
same look. so i ask him:

me: is that wrong?
him: ...no. it's fine.
m: no...really...am i a bad person for wanting to finish out my points with an Iced Vanilla Latte` while we're sitting in the ER? i mean, we're gonna be there for at least 3 hours...
h: no...whatever...i guess not.
m: ok...'cuz, well, we waited 4 hours, i figured it wasn't as urgent as all that, y'know?
h: it's fine. whatever.
m: am i being a bad boyfriend again?
h:well, you're not Bree Van De Kamp and i'm not having a heart attack.

everything worked out well. there was no talk of lasers or hot paperclips. the thumb isn't broken, it's only badly bruised. he needs help buttoning his shirt, but aside from that he's ok.
it was a really good iced latte, by the way.

A Few Thoughts on a Friday Before a Three Day Weekend

1. it's so wonderfully cold here! we're talking, teens and 20's kinda cold...the kind of cold that stings your face, causes awful hat-hair for an entire day, and makes your venti-5 shot-skim-caramel-latte` (6 points) tastes so much hotter and sweeter and more delicious.

2. Junior's short mix of AbFab: Thin and Gorgeous is just as relevant and topical today as it was 10 years ago. it doesn't sound dated in the least. the man is an absolute genius and altars should be built to him.

3. Taking the A train at 34th and 8th actually gets me to work a few minutes earlier than the F train at 34th and 6th. of course that means that i'll be spending another 10 minutes with Merlin...

4. Casey Stratton's cover of Tori Amos' Butterfly is so much better than the original (even though his voice sounds exactly like Tori) it's almost shocking. i'm surprised he's not more popular. Junior remixed a couple of his original songs (House of Jupiter and Blood) both of which are phenomenal both as piano driven sob songs and as dance music.

5. Buffy, Season 7 is the best of the whole series. it's building to such a wonderfully dramatic climax. on one hand, i'm sad to see that we're almost done with the series (again), but on the other the last couple of months watching have built to this inevitable conclusion, so i'm psyched...even though i know how it all turns out...cause we watched the whole series a couple of years ago...boy i feel just a tad more geeky than usual.

6. last night's Chinese food extravaganza was amazing. my mom wound up cancelling at the last minute, so we just ordered in (and watched Buffy and Angel). i don't know why, but it was the best Chicken Chow Fun (7 points per cup) i've ever had. maybe the food was just that good or maybe it was because i've not had it in weeks.

7. this weekend, stephen is giving me my Valentine's gift. it's a surprise and involves cabs, mass transit and "dressing nicely", he's also told me to pack a bag because we'll be "sleeping out". now my interest is piqued. my gut instinct is that he got us tickets to a show, but the "pack a bag" thing really has me guessing. he's a notoriously good gift-giver, so i know that i'll like it, whatevr it is. we shall see...

8. truly creative people make me sick. ok, not really sick, just incredibly jealous. take this collage made by MS. it combines two of my favorite things (Buffy and collages) and is so fabulous that i wanna throw up. thanks alot M. (btw. if you think this is as amazing as i do, then you should check out her photography; you'll be blown away).

9. speaking of creative, did anyone else watch Chocolate Runway Challenge, on the Food Network, the other night? i was so completely transfixed, like a bunny in the headlights. it'll probably be re-run to death later this month, and if you get the chance, i highly reccomend watching it. i mean, who knew that the fashion industry had a place for chocolate?

Mornings Do Not Become Me

i woke up regular time (5:35) and performed my morning ablutions and preperations, as usual, and was on the bus stop by 6:05. somehow, despite the trecherous rain which usually slows traffic to a hault on the NJ Turnpike, i made it into the City 10 minutes earlier than usual (6:40). seeing that i had a couple of extra minutes, i figured i'd indulge and got off at 8th avenue and 34th instead of 6th avenue since there's a Starbucks there, right by the C train.

i got my coffee (5 shot skim no-foam Maple Macchiato), and headed over to the C train. i waited about 15 minutes till one arrived and got on with the herd of Catholic school girls and business drones. three stops later, i'm able to see out the window, i notice that i'm now on 50th street. i got on the wrong train. i went uptown.
i jump off the train and look around dumbly for some sign which will guide me to the downtown platform which has a C train just pulling in. apparently, unlike other stations, you can't walk under or over to get to the opposite platrorm, you have to go outside. so i go outside, in the pouring rain, and look around dumbly (again) for the downtown entrance. after about 10 minutes (and a call to stephen), i find it and wait for another 10 minutes for the right train.

i got to work at 8am sweating, rain-soaked, freaking out and terribly over-caffinated (the more upset i was getting, the more of my coffee i drank). finally, almost 3 hours later, all my levels are regulated. i'm calm. i'm cool. and i've stopped twitching like long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

I Don't Know Much About Drugs (But My Coffee Tastes Fierce)

i've never tried cocaine (or any drugs for that matter), but if its high is half as powerful as what i feel having drunk a third of my "Venti, Six shot, Skim, No Foam Maple Macchiato", then i can see what all the fuss is about.




right now i'm vibrating like a tuning fork.
i feel like i could run back to Staten Island from here.
i'm superman.
i can fly.
T.G.I.F.

(btw: how much do you love David LaChapelle and Amanda Lepore?)

"violently happy/it will get me into trouble/violently happy/i'm driving my car/too fast/with ecstatic music on"~ Violently Happy (Bjork)

Some Thoughts From Before I've Had Coffee (in no particular order)

1. Junior Vasquez's 14 minute mix of Kristine W's Fly Again is so good that i'm surprised it hasn't been banned in 48 states.
2. Maybe NJ isn't so bad...maybe...
3. Cher needs to do another movie.
4. Best Buy was sold out of Season 3 of the L Word, should i buy it somewhere else or just wait it out?
5. we really need to find a photogapher.
6. a honeymoon might be nice. maybe a gay cruise. nah they're too...cruisey...