All Wound Up

There are few things that put marzipan in my pie plate, quite like poor customer service. Now, I’ll be the 1st to admit that, having spent a decade or so in retail servitude, I have pretty high standards when it comes to being serviced shopping. Here’s my latest tale of whoa…

Soup Dumplings, Pink Unicorns and That Guy from Buffy

what an amazing weekend it was! the brief re-cap:

1. a couple of days after last weekend's visit, MS asked me to pick up a lovely pink unicorn she had seen in the toy aisle of our local Stop N Shop. it seems she'd found a good home for her. On Saturday, we braved the icy rain/sleet/snow, the SI Ferry and the NYC subway system to bring Frenchie (for that was the unicorn's name) to MS and Dug; but only after we had had some fun with her 1st.


2. the drop off happened at our favorite NY Chinese restaurant, which is home to the world's best* soup dumplings. this was a double bonus: MS & Dug and soup dumplings.


3. while waiting for our table, who happened to wander in with a mini-entourage, but Danny Strong (aka Jonathan Levinson from Buffy)! much debating ensued over whether or not to acknowledge the fact that we were in the company of a b-list celeb (with a-list geek-star street cred), 'til our table was ready. on the way to the table, CawfeeMate stopped and told Danny that we "loved his work". To his credit, Danny seemed genuinely happy to be noticed and thanked us.

dinner was great, as always, but we promised Dug that the next time we met up in the city we'd try a different restaurant (since this is the only one we meet at when we're together). luckily there's an app for that...

*in truth their's are the only soup dumplings i've ever had.

Thanks Dr Brian (You're Better, On a Monday Morning, Than My Caramel Latte`)

Buffy: Season 8 Motion Comic

It's 3 PM on New Year's Eve & I Don't Seem to Be Leaving Any Time Soon

"Bored now"~ Evil Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Three Days till Christmas/Weekend Re-Cap

and i'm so excited i can't even stand it!

It was cold and snowy all Friday night so we hunkered down with christmas cookies and a frozen lasagna and watched the Closer and my new prime-time soap obsession, Footballer's Wives .

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Saturday was a day of "supposed to's". First, i was supposed to volunteer with my company's GLBT group to pack "blizzard boxes" at The Center for local AIDS/HIV+, homebound people, but was guilted into backing out so i could take my mom to finish her Christmas shopping. When i called her in the morning she bailed out on account of the snow & ice. So, i called Squirt and hit the mall with her; hjinx ensued (all i can say is that i wish i had an uncle with whom i could belt out Mariah's All i Want For Christmas, lemme tellya). we shopped, we lunched, we laughed. i love that kid and it's great to see her growing up into such a cute young woman (she's 12 going on 30 and has finally discovered make-up and perfume). After i dropped her off, i went home and watched Christmas Eve on Sesame Street which was my favorite Christmas special when i was a kid. it still made me all weepy (especially the Gift of the Magi scene with Ernie and Bert). Stephen rolled his eyes, patted my hand and retired to the kitchen to make a crumb cake to bring to my friend Paul's house later that evening. There, we hung out, caught up (his boyfriend had been planning a trip to Haiti for Halloween and we'd not seen him since) and ate the worst pizza i've ever had (i've still got agita), and played Wii (Brain Age Academy and Mario Party 8). a good time was had by all, much laughing and fun.

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Sunday was spent, largely, in my pajamas. i spend 90% of the day wrapping the last of my gifts and watching Buffy (Stephen: "Screw Twilight. Buffy and Angel are the greatest vampire love story, ever") while Stephen did...something (i've honestly got no idea, that's how absorbed i was in wrapping). later on we went food shopping, which we'd not done in about 3 weeks and i subtly engineered giving him another* one of his gifts** a few days early. afterward, we got back into our pj's, he wrapped his gifts (cleverly concealed in Amazon.com boxes) and we continued our Buffy-thon; all in the warm glow of the Christmas tree.

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now it's pretty early here, there's not alot of people about; it's colder than GW's heart outside, but wonderfully crisp and bright. i love this time of year!

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* i had ordered him a fresh sourdough sread "starter" from King Arthur's Flour a few weeks ago. i called their Customer Service center and requested the delivery be delayed so that the starter would arrive this week and the rep said "no problem". sadly the damn thing arrived 2 days after i ordred it, so he's been making sourdough bread for the last 2 weeks.

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**he's been talking about making Panettone for years but could never find the "pans" (oversized cupcake wrappers). i saw them on the King Arthur's website, and picked them up for him a few weeks ago. since he's off all week he figured it'd be a good opportunity to try out his recipe, even though he didn't have the pans. while shopping, he put some of the ingredients we didn't already have (candied citrus peel, golden raisins) in the cart and then took them out again. i put them back and gave him the pans when we got home.

Another Charming Weekend

another nice, chill weekend; r & r, laundry, food shopping. mostly it was sitting around, basking in the warm glow of our latest DVD obsession, Charmed (a series that can best be described as the not-so-thinking-man's Buffy).

The writing is akin to that found bad comic books and 2nd grade plays, the acting is slightly more believable than gay porn, but the cast looks fabulous and i'm pretty sure that back in the day it was used mostly as a platform to show the world that little Samantha Micelli (Alyssa Milano) has finally grown up and now has fantastic abs. i vaguely remember that somewhere down the line Shannon Doherty gets whacked, and honestly i can't wait. not so long ago MS pointed out to me that she's got one eye which is significantly higher than the other and now it's all i can see when i watch her "act" (well, that and the rather large expanse of ribcage residing between her breasts which appear to be coming from under her arms; why they kept putting her in "cleavage tops" is beyond me since Audrey Hepburn had more cleavage than poor old Hammerhead Doherty). it's fun watching how many ways she can manage to cock her head to one side to create the illusion that both eyes are level. i don't think i'd mind her character so much if she wasn't such blatant regurgitation of Brenda Whats-her-face from 90210 only with telekinesis; in short she's a royal bitch for no apparent reason. i'm not sure how she dies, but i hope it's painful.

anyway, we just started season two and despite the previous paragraph and the complete lack of any gay characters (though the show is set in San Francisco) , i'm enjoying it immensely. it's a nice change of pace from the comparatively weightier shows we usually watch on DVD, like Charlie's Angels and Fantasy Island.

"Where's Buffy when you need her?"~ Phoebe Halliwell (Alyssa Milano)

I'm Thinking Rocky Horror Only Cooler

it wasn't my favorite episode, but it was up there.

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i'm pretty sure MS will be into it.

i know John will be thrilled.

i'm positive Stephen will be excited.

"Buffy: On the Big Screen (Once More With Singing)

thanks to BL for keeping a fellow Buffy fan in loop.

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"Well, I'm not exactly shaking in my stylish yet affordable boots, but there's definitely something unnatural going on here. And that doesn't usually lead to hugs and puppies"~ Buffy Summers (Once More With Feeling)

My Latest DVD Obsession...

since we finished both Buffy and Angel series, there's a gaping hole that can only be filled with serious '70's detective "drama", big hair and bigger bell-bottoms. perhaps someone can convince Joss Whedon to ressurect Charlie's Angels...

i remember when i was a kid, my brother and i would fight becaue he wanted to watch the Dukes of Hazard and i wanted to watch Charlie's Angels. ironic that now, i'd much rather watch young, strapping Tom Wopat and John Schneider run around in skin tight jeans and cowboy boots. i always wanted to be Kelly. Jacklyn Smith was gorgeous, sultry and graceful, she also had great hair; elegantly feathered but not over-done like some Angels. i never quite got everyone's fascination with Jill; Farrah was all teeth and hair. i was never Kelly though, i was a too much Sabrina: homely, brainy and swathed in polyester double-knits. poor Kate Jackson. does anyone know whatever happened to her after the Scarecrow & Mrs. King?

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"Angels are like diamonds. They can't be made, you have to find them. Each one is unique"~ Jaclyn Smith

A Few Thoughts on a Friday Before a Three Day Weekend

1. it's so wonderfully cold here! we're talking, teens and 20's kinda cold...the kind of cold that stings your face, causes awful hat-hair for an entire day, and makes your venti-5 shot-skim-caramel-latte` (6 points) tastes so much hotter and sweeter and more delicious.

2. Junior's short mix of AbFab: Thin and Gorgeous is just as relevant and topical today as it was 10 years ago. it doesn't sound dated in the least. the man is an absolute genius and altars should be built to him.

3. Taking the A train at 34th and 8th actually gets me to work a few minutes earlier than the F train at 34th and 6th. of course that means that i'll be spending another 10 minutes with Merlin...

4. Casey Stratton's cover of Tori Amos' Butterfly is so much better than the original (even though his voice sounds exactly like Tori) it's almost shocking. i'm surprised he's not more popular. Junior remixed a couple of his original songs (House of Jupiter and Blood) both of which are phenomenal both as piano driven sob songs and as dance music.

5. Buffy, Season 7 is the best of the whole series. it's building to such a wonderfully dramatic climax. on one hand, i'm sad to see that we're almost done with the series (again), but on the other the last couple of months watching have built to this inevitable conclusion, so i'm psyched...even though i know how it all turns out...cause we watched the whole series a couple of years ago...boy i feel just a tad more geeky than usual.

6. last night's Chinese food extravaganza was amazing. my mom wound up cancelling at the last minute, so we just ordered in (and watched Buffy and Angel). i don't know why, but it was the best Chicken Chow Fun (7 points per cup) i've ever had. maybe the food was just that good or maybe it was because i've not had it in weeks.

7. this weekend, stephen is giving me my Valentine's gift. it's a surprise and involves cabs, mass transit and "dressing nicely", he's also told me to pack a bag because we'll be "sleeping out". now my interest is piqued. my gut instinct is that he got us tickets to a show, but the "pack a bag" thing really has me guessing. he's a notoriously good gift-giver, so i know that i'll like it, whatevr it is. we shall see...

8. truly creative people make me sick. ok, not really sick, just incredibly jealous. take this collage made by MS. it combines two of my favorite things (Buffy and collages) and is so fabulous that i wanna throw up. thanks alot M. (btw. if you think this is as amazing as i do, then you should check out her photography; you'll be blown away).

9. speaking of creative, did anyone else watch Chocolate Runway Challenge, on the Food Network, the other night? i was so completely transfixed, like a bunny in the headlights. it'll probably be re-run to death later this month, and if you get the chance, i highly reccomend watching it. i mean, who knew that the fashion industry had a place for chocolate?

When Life Hands You Lemons...

You pout and scowl and throw a mini-tantrum worthy of your 10 year old niece, then calmly evaluate the situation:

The IT department as gotten wise to you blogging at work and have subsequently blocked the Blog-editing-page from the internet profile that you’re “borrowing”. You can’t write blog entries, you can’t hit your beloved “Next Blog” button, you can’t even post comments on other people’s blogs.

You then evaluate your options:

1. Switch to another blog server like WordPress. This is made slightly more convenient by your very recent acquisition of a WordPress account, solely to be part of the multi-author Gay Men Rule blog. However, this presents several problems like What about all the hours you’ve devoted to your Blogger blog? Can one switch over an entire blog (240 posts)? Not a very tempting option, is it?

2. Write your blog entries throughout the day and e-mail them to yourself at home. Edit e-mails and post your pictures while watching Buffy, Angel, Justice League and/or the Golden Girls. Yeah…that sounds like a good idea.

We’ll see how long it lasts, till I get terribly frustrated and start posting solely on WordPress. And since Blogger seems to be terribly un-coporative, that may be sooner than i think...

Yes, Scarlet; Tomorrow IS Another Day!

I’m feeling 100x better…thank you for asking. I dragged my ass home last night and Stephen had made the most wonderful pot of Veggie-beef soup with noodles (he really is the most wonderful guy i could ever hope for). I put on my PJ’s (yes, I have pajamas…what of it?) and hunkered down on the couch to watch Buffy and Angel (season’s 5 and 3, respectively). By the time nine o’clock came around I felt restored and rejuvenated. I fear I might’ve been a bit hung over, due to the previous night’s imbibing (a cup of Kaluah (sp?) spiked Egg-nog, followed by 2 glasses of Pinot Noir at dinner).

Have I truly lost the ability to drink and function the next day or was it some sort of 12 hour thing? Maybe it was a weird, delayed reaction to the Thai food we had Friday night for dinner (ok that’s a stretch, but c’mon…who want’s to believe that they’ve passed into the Land of the Lightweights?).

so, i made it to NJ this mornining in record time: 45 minutes. there was absolutely no traffic (though i found out that there were accidents galore after i got in). there are no women here today (except for the angry Indian lesbian who smells like Play-Doh), so ESPN has been blaring in background since 8am. how do straight guys stand watching "sports news" all day?seriously, though: the big news seems to be about new balls in the NBA. sadly, they're not thinking of the same balls i am.

if it wasn't for the players with tight pants and bulging shoulder muscles, and other bloggers' posts like this, and this, i'd be bored silly!

Tumors, Target and Macchiatos (or Another Monday Jaunt to the Neurosurgeon)

i had a really good day, yesterday. john came with me and we hung out the whole day. the MRI place didn't give any lip, which was very surprising, so we had an extra hour to kill in the Dr.'s waiting room which we used to mock and heckle the other patients. it's terrible how much fun John and i can have, while sitting in a doctor's waiting room.in retrospect, it was probably a pretty mean thing to do considering why most people were there, but it really made me feel alot better, and you'd really be surprised at the things people deem appropriate to wear to the doctor. at certain points, we were laughing so hard we were nearly crying. i think the fact that he was high on caffiene kinda helped. john began to resemble Whitney, circa 2005, at one point: teeth grinding and trembling. it also inspired him to do his fabled Ellen Greene impersonation.

everything is fine. according to Dr. Demonico, everything's status quo in my brain; the tumor is stable: it hasn't grown in the last six months and it's not impinging on my hearing or the movement of my facial muscles. the current course of action? we wait another 6 months and go through another round of MRI's and Audiograms. if everthing is still stable in May (ie. the tumor has not grown, and i'm not showing a decrease in hearing) then i can start making annual visits, instead of semi-annual.

after the doctor we went for lunch and then to Target where i picked up some fabulous garland to string along the fence! i still feel strange, walking through Target, thinking "wow, there is some really cool stuff here". growing up, i always thought of Target as a 2nd rate Kmart. Target, i wish i'd met you sooner; i'm sorry i avoided you for so long. after i dropped John off, i picked up Stephen and we came home to make dinner and hang the garland. afterward, were settled in to watch the last episode of season 5 of Buffy and then Heroes.

again: it was a good day.

Incidentally, this is the last you'll be reading my tumor trouble, at least until next may. we now return my life, already in progress....

Geek-O-Rama

other night, while watching Buffy or Smallville, after being home for a few hours, stephen jumps off the couch and says my favorite sentence, "Oooh honey, i have a surprise for you". so, like a good boyfriend, i close my eyes and wait for my surprise:

i almost fell off the couch, i was so happy. now, i'm not a stamp collector, but i do have a fascination for comic books and superheroes. when i heard that the post office was releasing these stamps i was pretty happy. when stephen gave me a whole sheet, i completely geeked out and thanked him a dozen times. it struck me in that instant that this was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. he was in the post office mailing invitations for a Pampered Chef show we're doing, saw them, thought of me, and bought them. he knew they'd make me happy, so he bought them. nobody i've ever dated ever thought of me when i wasn't there. i was so moved i almost cried. i'm planning on having them matted and framed because i thought they looked so cool. when i told him so, i asked him if he thought i was a geek for doing so. he said (without thinking), that Yes i am a geek but it's ok because he has a thing for geeks.

now, i know it's true: i am a geek. we've been there, we've done that. i just didn't like hearing it from the man i love. i'd like to think that he's so blinded by love for me that labels like geek or fat are completely eclipsed. i guess i'm just a little sensitive and terribly over optimistic that way. i'm not mad, upset or miffed. i'm totally over it (if, indeed, there was anything to be over), it was just a bit more reality than i needed after getting off the He Loves Me high, y'know?

Alternate Reality

i miss television. i miss sit-coms that were funny. i miss having "a show": that one show that i'd watch every week, without fail. if i couldn't be home, i'd tape it (ie. Queer as Folk and the 1st few seasons of ER). the closest thing i have now is Desperate Housewives on DVD. the problem is, i'm the 1 out of 500,000 americans that hate reality television.
i really think it is the worst thing to happen to tv since Buffy went off the air (ok, i didn't watch it the 1st time around, but i realize now what a travesty it truly was. Joss, i'm sorry, please come back).
i just don't get it. people undercutting each other, eating roaches and demeaning themselves for money isn't entertainment, to me, it's just a reflection of how low we're willing to sink for some cash. gameshows are one thing, but Family Fear Factor is another. i sit at work and listen to people talk about America's Next Top Model and American Idol. they talk like these people competing(?) are their friends or family. they get emotionally invested in their "stories" and i just don't get it. in the 80's did anyone have to compete to be a 1 hit wonder? did we really give a shit about Cindy Crawford's "struggle" to out starve the other girls?
i'll be honest, i'm slightly intrigued by Dancing with the Stars and Celebrity Duets, but in the same way i watched Circus of the Stars and Battle of the Network Stars. call it morbid curiosity, but i felt compelled to watch Tracy Gold on a trapeze or Emanuel Lewis attempt the high jump. granted, i'm not going to watch either show (we just started Season 5 of Smallville on DVD), but it makes me happy that Hal Sparks can carry a tune.
maybe there is hope on the horizon: ABC has that new show Six Degrees starting soon and the third season of Desperate Housewives starts this weekend, plus i've very intrigued by Grey's Anatomy, thanks to MS (when did ABC start trumping NBC in the number of watchable shows?). i just hope nobody survives on Survivor. is that wrong?

Yes, You've Returned (Now Go Away Again So We Can Go Back to Missing You)

Hello, darlings! this is one of my ultra-rare weekend posts (i've got a three day weekend planned), and since i know you all wait with bated breath for my scribblings, i'd hate to let you down; consider this Monday's post.

Stephen and i just got back from seeing, you guessed it, Superman Returns. to be quite blunt, i just want him to return my $9 for the movie and $6 for the bridge to get out to New Brunswick, since it's already out of both the Staten Island theaters. as far as i'm concerned, this movie was truly one of the biggest disappointments ever to come out of Hollywood since Glitter. the plot was thinner than well sliced prosciutto, the acting was more wooden than Howdy Doody and the special effects seemed to come straight from the video game which is probably more exciting. there was absolutely zero in the way of character development and if you had to quantify the amount of emotional depth displayed by any of the actors, you'd be looking at negative numbers. i'm not going to bother spoiling any of the plot points for you, since i'm sure it'll probably be out on DVD by the end of September.

the biggest problem, by far, was that neither Superman/Clark (i don't recall the actor's name) nor Lois (Kate Bosworth?) really seemed to care about anything that was going on at any given moment. their interactions were so lackluster and plastic that it was like watching mannequins (one of which, with a nice sized package, by the way) in pretty clothes. only Kevin Spacey and the ever fabulous Parker Posey had any emotion at all: they were evil and stupid (respectively) and they were loving every minute of it.

i can't quite imagine what the writer, director or producers were thinking when they greenlighted this movie for production. i guess with the success of Batman Begins and all the other comic book movies, they thought it was time ressurect Superman, but they should've waited for a good script to come along. it was like watching a really bad episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Smallville (like the Preying Mantis episode of the former or Kryptonite Tattoo episode of the latter) only with a bigger budget. strangely enough, having watched both shows (we're actually in the midst of Buffy: Season 2), they're much better acted and written.
Incidentally, we own the full series of Buffy, Angel and Smallville on DVD, if you wanna borrow them. we won't charge you $9, and i'll guarantee you'll be immensely more entertained.

"Well, I don't think I can handle this/A cloudy day in Metropolis/I think I'll talk to my analyst"~Jimmy Olsen's Blues (the Spin Doctor's)