On "the Children"

i'm never having kids. if i'm lucky, someday in the distant future, i'll get a dog. (for now) nobody cares if we own a dog. nobody has mentioned how having two daddies or mommies affect Yorkies. hell, even single people are allowed to own pets without too much drama. unless they pass a law bringing back child labor or slavery, i'll never have a child.

reason # 1 is that i'm not a fan of kids. a couple of them are cool (Squirt, for instance), but on the whole i think most of them are assholes. the majority of kids are not very bright, and tend to be loud, mean, high strung and incredibly disrespectful (yes, i lump "teenagers" into the same category as 6 year olds). i know it's their parent's fault, but still i'd rather have a Yorkie or a Schnauzer.

reason #2: it seems that the quickest way to get into someones wallet or heart is to flash the face of a kid next to your message. From AIDS charities to White Supremacists, at one point or another every group has pimped "the children" for their cause. it should come as no surprise that when i hear people making plaintive cries on behalf of "the children", i wanna smack someone.

high on the list of those i'd like to Zsa-Zsa are those who toss "the kids" around when speaking of the evils of Gay Marriage. in addition to destroying civilization as we know it, letting us get married will hurt...you guessed it..."the children". apparently if we're allowed to marry, amidst the worldwide Apocalypse, kids will actually have the nerve to dream of growing up and marrying whomever they want and possibly turn out to be more tolerant (and therefore evil/liberal) adults. closer to the present, they'd also be scarred by seeing all those nasty fags and dykes engage in the same mundane gentrification as their parents. also, let's not forget how terrible it would be for all those kids who already have two moms or dad; Cher only knows what emotional damage would be caused if their parents were allowed to tie the knot.

reason # 3 is that i have alot of resentment towards children. in this country, i think we give kids(and parents) too much power. children decide what's acceptable on television, in the movies, on the radio, and in print. it's their "impressionable minds" that cause art exhibits to be labeled "unsuitable" and close "adult book stores". bad parents have the ability to turn a perfectly nice restaurant into a loud, unruly and terribly uncomfortable experience by allowing their children to behave like the monsters they are. how many airplane flights, elevator trips or bus rides were made hours longer by a screaming child? ever have a co-worker bring their child to work? how much work did you really get done?

is it any wonder why i dislike kids so much? who knew that even before they could vote that the little fuckers could hold so much power over society?

"The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame"~ Oscar Wilde