Wishful Thinking

I'm a simple and reasonable guy, i think. I really don't want alot in life. If Aladdin's genie gave me three wishes, I'd probably be at a loss for what to do with the third one. In fact, with my birthday having just passed, I found myself wishing for only two things when it came time to blow out my candles: time and money.

No, It's Not Too Early to Be Thinking About My Birthday Pt. 3

and here we are at last. i'll be out Thursday and Friday, celebrating (and prepping the house for a sleepover with MS). so, have a great weekend, kids!

oh, head over to Traveling But Not In Love and wish him a happy birthday, too (since we share July 31st as the date of our births). i'll let him disclose which year is his...

No, It's Not Too Early to Be Thinking About My Birthday Pt. 2

CawfeeGuy: oh, honey, i e-mailed you a link to my Amazon-birthday-wishlist...if you're looking for ideas.
CawfeeMate: is it the same stuff you had on the Christmas wishlist?
CG: well, not all the same stuff, but similar.
CM: oh, then i'm not even gonna look.
CG: Huh?
CM: yeah...you're not getting any of that stuff.
CG: but...that's the stuff i want.
CM: i know...but that's not what i'm getting you; i'm a much better gift giver than what's on that list.

No, It's Not Too Early to Be Thinking About My Birthday...

at least not according to my mom and husband. so, in the interest of getting them off my back about what i want for said birthday, i give you the amazon.com wishlist:

we all remember how well this worked for christmas, right?

Birthday Weekend Highlights

Best Part:

• Bri-the-Pie-Guy's homemade Strawberry Rhubarb pie. so fantastic that i've rationed 9 points a day to have slice every night before bed. seriously...the best pie ever.

the Worst Part:

• Sunday. between getting a giftcard to Marshall's from my parents* and our computer dying unexpectedly, sunday was not a good day. i loathe my brother, get depressed when i see Squirt getting older (she's got boobs) and her sister look at me like she's never met me before.

the in between, fun stuff:

• John and Justin on Thursday at Applebees (yes virginia, you can have a birthday dinner for 20 points), which tastes even better with good friends.
• spending a scant 4 hours with Bri-the-Pie-Guy and Mrs. Pie-Guy, whom i miss terribly; even moreso after we've only hung out for a couple of hours. they gave me a fabulous iTunes giftcard which i fully intend to use as soon as our computer is resurrected.
• playing Stephen's gift, Lego Star Wars for Wii, for hours on Saturday (while waiting for the dishwasher repairman who never showed); love it.
• playing Justin and John's gift, Mario Party 8, Saturday night with Justin, Paul and Stephen. absolutely awesome! it's a little bit "boardgame" and a little bit "Telemundo/RaiUno Gameshow". i just wish john wasn't home sick.

*seriously though...have we met? if i've spent more than 20 bucks in Marshall's, in the last 5 years (most of which was on underwear), i've spent alot. i know it's the thought that counts, but wtf?

Having Flowers Delivered to the Office More Than Makes Up For a "Thursday Birthday"

most definitely not "man flowers".

This Used to Be My Playground

When i was a kid, summer was day camp, trips to the park, drive-in movies and Friendly's, staying up late, and sleeping in. summer was strapping on my blue Snoopy rollerskates, with the yellow wheels and stopper, and skating for hours on end. summer was riding my bike around the block again and again and again (till i was old enough to cross the street). summer was was my birthday (July 31st)which always fell within days of our neighborhood's block party and included a Baskin Robbins Circus Tent cake (Mississippi Mud and French Vanilla) with ice-cream cones on top that looked like clowns and toys, lots of toys.

As i got older the idea of summer changed, slightly: week long trips to Boy Scout camp, a weekend job at the local mom & pop video store, and then later on a volunteer position at the NY Aquarium, in the penguin exhibit. in all, summers meant staying outside for most of the day, getting brown as a nut, and recovering from nine months of school related stress with the few friends i had. i enjoyed summer despite my natural aversion to the heat. trucks selling soft serve definitely helped.

summers in college were pretty much the same, with the added bonuses of disposable cash from my mall job and friends with cars. we went to concerts and the beach, and hung out in the pool; every day was something new and different (as long as we didn't have to work that night). summer, which started in May and lasted thru September, was great!

after college, summer was Pride. summer was spending my days off cruising the beach and the woods for hours; having fantastic sex with good looking, scantily clad, guys. summer was going out five nights a week to the local gay bar, hanging out on their patio till they closed and still getting up for work at the mall the next day. summer was eating chicken rings and mozzerella sticks, in White Castle's parking lot, at 3am after seeing a drag show.

now, everything's different.

summer means schlepping back and forth between Staten Island and downtown Brooklyn, through furnace-like subway tunnels, five days a week. summer means sitting at a desk under fluorescent lights, getting text messages from friends who are at the beach or on vacation. summer means worrying that the central air is costing us hundreds of dollars a month because leaving the windows open, in July, in New York, is ridiculous. summer is fighting the urge to use vacation days and sick days, because i get so few that they're better spent on doctor's visits and waiting (in vain) for repairmen. summer means standing on 34th street, in the sun, on a line of 75 people for a fucking bus that never comes. summer means hoping we don't have plans on weekends, so that maybe i can sit outside in the sun for an hour to get a tan and stave off rickets. summer is hoping i don't look too ridiculous in shorts. summer is no different than winter, except that i wear slightly less clothes.

it makes me miss the penguins.

Despite Still Having Not Read the New Harry Potter, I'm Okay...No Really Pt 2

i went out and bought it yesterday. after finally seeing Jenn and Brian on Saturday night, it was clear that i wasn't getting it for my birthday (i did however get the most kick-ass JLA t-shirt from them, along with some great art supplies and an awesome Green Lantern shirt!)

i started it on the bus this morning and i'm only on page 32.



is it wrong that i'm tempted to call out sick to stay home and read?

a Revelation

i just hate fucking mondays and apparently the feeling is mutual:

i get to the bus stop and there are 3 other people there; that usually doesn't bode well for getting a seat. sure enough, the bus pulls up and there's no room. 25 minutes, the next one comes and i get to work 20 minutes late.

after fighting with the printer for 10 minutes, i sat down to start my day. the fungus called every 10 minutes for the next hour or so.

in the meantime, i got my birthday gift from my co-workers ($125 gift card for Best Buy!). i immediately went to the website to order the complete series of AbFab, and they don't have it. i'm now really ticked off and it's not even noon.

the Big Three-One

yup. it's my birthday again.
same time every year.
ho hum.

(and no, this isn't a shameful plug for good wishes)

i'm at work and i'd rather not be.
Merlin is out on vacation this week so i'm stuck doing his desk and my own. so i've got twice the work.

well i've wasted enough time...

(a little later)
i'm feeling a little, well, vulnerable right now.
see, i watched Rent on dvd last night and it always makes me cry and get all upset...
then i come in this morning and one of the girls gets a phone call which sends her into all kinds of hysterics; her sister tried to commit suicide. she left and probably won't be back this week.
yeah...definitely feeling a tad depressed.

(later still)
as if my day couldn't get worse; it happened again. **sigh**

(even later)
the day's looking up...my mom called with Squirt and Frangelica , John called, MS and Nil texted me from their vacation, Chris texted me, and a friend i haven't spoken to in years e-mailed me, all to wish me a happy birthday; coupled with the comments from earlier today, i'm feeling much better. plus, Stephen called to tell me he made reservations for us at Arirang (the hibachi steakhouse) and who could posibly be unhappy when sitting at a table that's really a grill with a chinese guy balancing knives and hurling onions through the air?

Every Year...

it's July.
that means my birthday's coming again (on july 31st).
the BIG Three-One.

i do feel a little older than last year, a little wiser, a little slimmer. Thirty-one isn't nearly the big deal that thirty was. i don't mind it as much.

now, i've already had a couple of people ask me what i want for my birthday and rather than say, "aw nothing! just to spend time with you is enough for me", and since we didn't register for the wedding, i'm putting it all down on a convenient list. i hope you appreciate my greed coupled with diligence.

i'm old goddammit, just make me happy before i die:


Absolutely Fabulous Season 1 and/or 2 on DVD: i gotta have my Patsy and Edina. it's been too long, and i can't deal with the old VHS copies i got from Jenn when i turned the big Two-One (i like the symmetry of this, don't you?).

t-shirts: think back a couple of weeks and you'll know which ones. i don't mind dupes; a boy can't have too many Aquaman or Green Lantern shirts. there's also the Militant Homosexual look, too (check out Cafe Press) or just good ole fashioned queer (again...Cafe Press).

books: is it a coincidence that my birthday and Harry Potter's birthday are the same day? no. it's a sign that somebody who loves me should buy me the new book which comes out every year or so on or around my birthday. there are a ton of other books out there that i'm looking for, the new Tales of the City (sorry BL, i can't bring myself to buy it, and deprive someone an easy gift ), and Robert Rodi has a new novel out When You Were Me. honestly if you go to Alibris. i've made it quite easy for you.

gift cards: always the right color and size; Best Buy, Starbucks, Target or Amex fit the best, though.

is it greedy? maybe.

is it tacky? possibly.

but, this list is coming on July 5th, after having about 3 hours of sleep (between the fireworks and the huge thunderstorm afterward) i'm feeling a little testy and vulnerable.

i'm sure i'll remove it when i'm in a better frame of mind...

Tales of a Middle Aged Drama Queen

as i mentioned yesterday, my parents decided to "surprise" me by dropping in for my birthday dinner. i use quotes around the word surprise because it's become quite clear that i am not good at being surprised. actually, to be quite blunt: i suck at it. you want evidence? here you go...
last year stephen decided to throw me a Surprise Party for my birthday; his rationale was that my birthday had become a total nightmare the year before and he wanted to help make up for it. he had moved out of Queens on my actual birthday and was homeless for a week till he could move into the house on Staten Island; we wound up spending the weekend with Jenn and Brian who are 2 of the best hosts anyone could ever hope to stay with and my mom threw a fit because i wasn't with "the family"; she refused to call me till i apologized, words were had, it wasn't pretty.

ANYHOO...in the wake of 2004's debacle, stephen planned a party for 2005. for the same reasons, i wanted to have all my friends together in 2005 and started making plans weeks in advance for dinner out. the day of the party/dinner stephen told me that i was having a surprise party at 6 and that he couldn't believe that i thought it necessary to plan something myself. fast forward to this year:
a few weeks ago, my mom called when/where i wanted to have the "family dinner". i thought sunday the 30th would be ideal as we were meeting friends on Saturday night and Mondays are just too tough. in the meantime, my niece's softball team has made it to the NYC championships and the game that was scheduled for saturday in Queens was moved to Sunday. plans were made for her to go swimming in her friend's pool afterward, my had worked till 5am that morning, and my sister-in-law is pregnant, swollen and cranky. dinner was not going to be an option. i didn't find out till sunday morning that nobody had planned to get together on sunday evening. i threw a total and complete hissy fit. afterward, stephen told me that my parents had planned on surprising me on monday night. once again i fucked up a perfectly planned surprise. they were there when i got home and i'll admit it: i was too tired to even feign surprise. **shrug**

i can honestly say that i regret being that guy that can't be surprised; i know it stems from my fear that nobody cares enough to "celebrate me". does that make me a total jerk? that i expect people to want to get together for my birthday, etc?

*side note:

Dinner went very well; the chicken picata was impeccable, and he made a Black Olive and Caremelized Onion Foccaccia that made my eyes roll back. then the power went out. again. it only lasted about half and hour and i'll admit it was quite rustic, eating by candle light. later on, my niece and his parents dropped by for cake and coffee. the cake was absolutely divine! yellow cake with canoli cream and vanilla butter cream frosting. the whole thing: from scratch. this was truly monmental, since his baking mantra is usually "bad things happen with cake". everyone stayed till about 11, and i'll admit it was very nice having our parents hang out together. i'm not sure but i think this is the longest they've ever spent together. i totally dug the gift situation: stephen got me a fabulously comfy chair to hang out and take the sun on, my parents got me a GC to Best Buy, his parents got me an Amex GC and my neice got me a Starbucks GC. good haul, no? :)

"A Scout is never taken by surprise; he knows exactly what to do when anything unexpected happens"~ Bayden Powell

Finally...

it's happened at last. i'm 30. **sigh**
it's actually not that bad, i'm really kind of used to the idea (i've been obsessing with it for the last year). it's been made alot easier by Stephen and my friends.
a whole bunch of us went out Saturday night for dinner at the Cargo Cafe` which is a little restaurant/bar that Jenn, Erin and i have been going to since college.
the food was amazing (brie and pear quesadillas with carmelized onions, duck breast in a maple-mustard glaze, and a caramel cream torte) and the company was beyond fabulous. i had such an unbelievably wonderful time that i was truly sorry when everyone parted ways at the end of the evening. the conversation, company and gifts were truly exceptional.
to John, Michele, Jenn, Brian, Paul, Buster, Erin, and (of course) Stephen: thank you for making it a truly memorable 30th Birthday. i love you all :)
today stephen is off from work (holiday? David's Birthday: Observed) and he's cleaning the house and cooking furiously (Gazpacho, Chicken Picata, and Spaghetti Aglio Olio), waiting for my parents (and possibly his) to drop in for a "surprise" visit. the surprise that i know about i is another story for another day...
btw: the "birthday card" shown above was from john, last year :)

"That's me, an old kazoo and some sparklers"~ All About Eve (Bette Davis)

Show Me Your Rack

So as you all know, my 30th birthday is gaining like a lion on a lame gazelle (this Monday, actually). I got my first gift yesterday in the mail (from Jenn and Brian). It was, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most thoughtful and original gifts I’ve ever gotten: a box of 21 herbs, spices, rubs and blends from Penzey’s Spices.I know that sounds like a really strange and possibly thoughtless gift, but I have to tell you that it thrilled me to absolutely no end.

For those of you who don’t know, my mother is an absolutely wonderful cook. Her cooking was (and continues to be) an extension of her love for her family. She went beyond “Say it with a Hallmark Card”, she said it with soups, stews, and sauces. She’s not afraid to try anything and given the chance will experiment, usually with fantastic results. In the 30 years that I’ve been eating her cooking, I can count on one hand the number of “bad meals” she’s served (one was a mishap involving a turkey breast, rice-a-roni and a can of black olives, and the other was a clearly accidental slip of the salt shaker over a pot of stew). Her repertoire includes Latin, Chinese, Japanese, French, German and naturally Italian; she bakes cookies, cakes, pies and has an Easter Bread that is heavenly. When I was a little tyke, I hung on her proverbial apron strings while she danced around the kitchen like a ballerina, from stove to microwave to cutting board to sink. When I was old enough (5? 6? 7?) I became her right hand man/boy. She taught me all her secrets, from how many times to dip the Christmas Pulpo in the boiling water to her classified Mashed Potato recipe. Cooking together became a real bonding experience and I looked forward to the three day Cook-a-thons we’d have prior to the bigger holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I’d help her make the pies, cookies and side dishes; prepping the kitchen by getting out all the ingredients and cookbooks she’d need and then washing and drying the bowls, utensils and equipment in between recipes.

This went on till college, when I no longer had days off before holidays and weekends became devoted to my part-time job at the mall (with the full time hours). To be perfectly honest, I really didn’t cook anything more complicated than an Oodles of Noodles or Knorr’s Hollandaise Sauce till I left home to live with John and Chris. Occasionally, we’d have Roommates Only Dinner and a Movie Night, where we’d take turns cooking for each other and hanging out. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed cooking for them (they both seemed to like my cooking as much a I enjoyed cooking for them). Then I met stephen, the real epicurean, and food became one of the central parts of our courtship. He’d cook wonderful meals for me when I’d go over to his aparment in queens and taught me to make things I’d never tried before. he had spices and cooking tools I’d never seen or used before and made even the simplest of meals seem extraordinary. he’s one of the few people (my mom included) that can cook in an almost Iron Chef situation: take these ingredients and these tools and make something wonderful. Since we’ve been living together, I’ve found I’ve learned a tremendous amount from him and my mom. Now that we live together, we take turns cooking dinner and I’ve found that though I lack their Iron Chef ability, I more than make up for it in talent (I’m not egotistical, I’ve just been told that I’m a damn good cook!). like my mama before me, there’s not a recipe I’m afraid of (except when it comes to breads…yeast can’t be trusted…).
I can’t wait to go through the box and see what recipes are on the sides of the jars! What the hell do you do with arrowroot, anyway?

"If they keep crashing stuff into the moon, the moon's gonna get pissed off, and the tides'll change, and all the women'll start PMS-ing together. Then you guys are going to fucking regret it.” ~Tori Amos