Been There, Done That

here's a terribly long list i'm blatantly stealing from someone else's blog (i'd link you to her blog, but i kinda got lost after i copied and pasted)...

the things i've done are in bold.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving (in a pool for the training class, does that count?)
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured an ancient site
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played Dungeons & Dragons for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently well enough to have a decent conversation
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach (NOT intentionally, but yes, and I’m still scarred)
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
151. Finished a marathon

Save the Cheerleader, Save Me a Spot on the Couch

do you remember a while back that i went on an anti-reality tv tirade? well it seems that my lamentations, about not having quality shows to veg-out in front of, were premature. i've found "my show". thank you NBC for giving us Heroes.

i was annoyed that i'd missed the 1st episode, but like any show, it wasn't hard to pick up on by watching the 2nd one (plus NBC was nice enough to have a mini-marathon a few weeks after the premiere to catch us up; again: thank you NBC). have you seen this show? it's absolutely captivating: ordinary people, discovering how extrordinary they actually are; good guys vs bad guys. b-list celebrities from other shows (ie. Buffy, Desperate Housewives, and even General Hospital). sex, drugs, violence and superheroes; who could ask for anything more in a primetime drama?

there are plots, sub-plots, interconnecting stories and the most endearing Japanese guy since Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's. if you haven't seen it yet, the Sci-Fi channel is running a marathon. if you don't get Sci-Fi, call a friend who does and ask him to tape it, TiVo it or if he'll let you come over and watch it. it's that good. i dont' think you have to be a comic geek to appreciate it (lord knows Stephen isn't one), but it certainly helps.

"What is a hero without love for mankind"~ Doris Lessing

How the Britney Has Fallen...

Sorry MS, i think you've deffinitely lost your girl to the Dark Side. lets hope she doesn't call her new friends in as character witnesses if K-fed should try to sue for custody of their kids.

"Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty"~ Britney Spears

Because White Trash Kids Need a Dream Too (or Christmas Morning in the Trailerpark)

My 1st Tattoo Parlor available at E-Toys. it kinda goes hand in hand with the My 1st Stripper set that Nil was nice enough to clue me in on. i guess it was high time that a toy company came to the conclusion that not every kid will grow up to be a doctor, police officer or an astronaut.

btw: is it a coincidence that both kids have faux mullets? i don't think so!

"I dropped my pants in a tattoo parlor in Amsterdam. I woke up in a waterbed with this funky-looking dragon with a blue tongue on my hip. I realized I made a mistake, so a few months later I got a cross to cover it. When my pants hang low, it looks like I'm wearing a dagger"~ Angelina Jolie

Oh We Need a Little Christmas

i'm a former retail queen, quelle surprise! that being said it should be no surprise that the day after Thanksgiving (aka: Black Friday) starts the Christmas season, in my mind. for many years, starting the week before Thanksgiving, i would make ready (read: dust off) my mammoth Christmas CD collection in preparation for Black Friday, when all we would play in the store is Christmas music. Two years later, i'm still in the same mindset, though now i have a significantly better device to cart around my holiday-mania: Baby Blue, my new mp3 player. it's alot easier than carrying all those CDs back and forth to work.

two weeks ago, i dug out all my CD's (along with a couple of new ones i bought a few days before) and ripped them all to our new computer, and then from the computer to Baby Blue (so that next year i can just upload the CD's straight from the music library). i've been itching to start listening to the new CDs i got (Bette Midler's Cool Yule, Sarah McLachlan's Wintersong, and Elton John's Christmas Party), but held off since (in my mind) the Christmas Season had yet to begin. i bided (yes, it's a word. don't believe me? click here) my time by sifting through the tracks i know i like on the CD's and making my 385 song, Ultimate Christmas Playlist: the Christmas Conga (the title is taken directly from Cyndi Lauper's mind-numbingly jolly tune of the same name, found on her must have CD, Merry Christmas and Have a Nice Life).

So, after dropping Stephen off at the bus stop, this past Friday, i cranked up my Christmas Conga Playlist and have been listening to it non-stop since then. in fact, i got so caught up in Mariah (All I Want for Christmas Is You) and Bette (Mele Malikimaka) and Linda Eder (O Holy Night) and Kristine W (Mary, Did You Know?) that after making the house worthy of a visit from my soon-to-be-in-laws, i decorated it for Christmas. Yup, it's November, and our house is officially a winter wonderland of red, gold and green. there are stuffed snowmen, snowflake shaped window clings and candles...lots and lots of candles...emitting scents of bayberry, mistletoe and other Christmas scents. by far and above, though, my favorite piece of Christmas decoration is the 4' high tin Christmas tree Jenn and Brian gave us last year. it's an advent calender, you see (something i have a distinct fondness for), and starting December 1st you place a beautiful hand made ornament (each with a little magnet on the back) on the tree! by December 25th you have a fully decorated tin tree!
in case you couldn't tell: i'm so excited, i can hardly stand it!i need another Advent calender to count down to December 1st!

stay tuned for my lists of the top Must Have Christmas songs and CD's!

"I wish you joy that never ends/Happy times with all your friends/Come on and hold my hips a little longer/As we do the Christmas Conga,/Bonga, bonga, bonga, bonga/Do the Christmas Conga"~ Christmas Conga (Cyndi Lauper)

Thanksgiving Weekend Re-Cap

it's been a few days, kids and here's what you missed (in no particular order)...

1. Thanksgiving: it's just as i said it would be, only without the appetizers. thankfully mom changed her mind at the last minute about them. the food was wonderful and plentiful; i'm still a little bit full. halfway during the meal Squirt announced that she would like everyone to give her an idea what we all wanted for Christmas, because she was going shopping with her mother on Sunday. i found out later, from her father, that she's been squirrelling away all the giftcards and money that she's gotten as gifts over the last few months to use to buy her Christmas gifts for other people. i was so moved i almost started to cry. it's very Gift of the Magi...



2. the pumpkin cheesecake: this is the 2nd year i've made it and the 2nd time i've had to scrap it and begin another, halfway through. last year i'd mistakenly doubled the amount of butter when making the graham cracker crust (and had it ooze out of the bottom of the spring-form pan). not really a big deal. this year, however, after the cake was in the oven i sat in front of it, licking the spoon (yeah? what of it?) and i found a piece of glass the size of a baby tooth. apparently, we'd broken a glass somewhere in the kitchen and there were still shards of glass lurking, unseen, around. So, rather than risk it, i threw out cheesecake number 1 and started from scratch. it was 11pm, the night before Thanksgiving...i'd just worked the whole day and was in absolutely no mood. i cursed, i growled, i slammed things like a toddler. it was worth the do-over, because the 2nd one was absolutely marvelous and devoid of any and all lethal debris.



3. Black Friday: i thought i'd get to sleep a little, sadly i was mistaken. stephen left for work at 6:40 and called ten minutes later to tell me the bus didn't come. so i rolled out of bed and drove him to the bus stop to meet the chick he's carpooling with. then i went back home and cleaned the house for the next 12 hours, in preparation for our quasi-engagement party on Saturday. i dusted, i vacuumed, and i polished wood. by the time i was done, the house was immaculate. i was only a little bit content, since it came at the expense of attending Nil's birthday get-together at Mario Battali's restaruant, Otto. i sacrificed Nil, MS and olive oil gelato, for sparkling mirrors and dust free doorjambs. quite honestly, i don't think it was worth it.



4. Saturday: the party went well. our parents came, as did my brother and his family and his sister and her family. we ordered a tray of chicken rollatini and spaghetti with garlic and oil from the pizzeria we frequent. the food was good and everyone seemed to have a good time. we also served these wonderful appetizers: homemade mini-quiches (bacon, cheddar, mushroom and zucchini) and an artichoke-sundried tomato tapanade, for which stephen made the most amazing flatbreads. it was nice, because it was the 1st time my brother, his wife and Squirt, got to meet Stephen's family.



5. the After-Party: we joined John at Staten Island's newest "gay night". it was cute and the space has alot of potential, but personally i think it would make a much better lounge than club. the music was a little much considering how small the room is, and the strobe lights tended to blind you if you were facing the bar, so it was terribly difficult to see the muscle-bound, half naked italian bartenders. it was a little bit pointless, truth-to-tell. there was the usual mix of the new generation of kids with fake ID's and SI's has-beens rubbing elbows and pelvises. it was nice to see that the lesbian contingent was also represented, though i think it's because SI's lesbian DJ extrordinaire (who shall remain nameless) was there spinning. i saw a few too many familiar faces in the crowd, still looking for love in all the wrong places. naturally/thankfully, after we left, the usual drama ensued.



6. Sunday: lazy day which included Buffy and Angel, munching on leftovers, food shopping and dropping off the car at the mechanics' so he could take a look at her speed tremor. stephen actually called me as i was writing this to tell me that the mechanic feels that the tremor is nothing to worry about. it'll either get worse or it won't. if it gets worse, we should worry about it then. i think i'll take MS's advice and get AAA.




7. Stephen decided not to surprise me, and told me that he's been planning our honeymoon: we're going to San Francisco! i'm really quite excited, as i've never been out to the left coast before and i've been dreaming of going to SF, ever since i read Tales of the City, a decade ago! i'm also really glad that he told me, so we can plan the trip together. i ran right out and bought Time Out's Guide to San Francisco to give me a heads up on what there is to see and do; Stephen's been there before, so he looked up a couple of places and added them to our tentative itinerary. naturally, i welcome any and all suggestions.

Does This Make Me the Anti-Christ or Something..?

CawfeeGuy's Amazing Mental Ability ... You can turn wine into water. (But, sadly, not the other way around) (Remember ... with great power comes great responsibility!) 'What is your Amazing Mental Ability?' at QuizGalaxy.com

It's a Ritual Sacrifice, With Pie

yup, it's Thanksgiving Day again and you know what that means: 10 hours of teeth-grinding family time and eating till you can't move! this year, in our traditional attempt to balance out the holidays between my family and his (we alternate), Stephen and i are spending Turkey Day at my mom's (Christmas will be with his family). she asked us to get there "nice and early " because she's planning on serving appetizers/antipasti. that's right, in addition to the dinner which will consist of soup, cranberry/orange relish, string bean casserole, mashed turnips, sweet potato casserole, brussel sprouts, stuffed mushrooms, stuffed artichokes (and of course) turkey and sausage/cornbread stuffing, she also plans on having a spread of pre-feast snacks: assorted cheese and crackers, prosciutto bread, spinach bread, marinated mushrooms, marinated peppers, chips/pretzles and dip and dried sausages. in case you haven't saved enough room for dinner, the vomitorium is the 2nd door on the left, please remember to gargle.

just listing all the food is making me a bit dizzy, especially because i know that dessert (which is served after the fruit and nut course) will be just as...intense: caramel-apple pie, pumpkin pie, peach cobbler and i was asked to make/bring bread pudding and pumpkin-cognac cheesecake (both of which were a very big hit last year). don't forget the coffee (black and brown), "to settle your stomach". are you dizzy? me too, but this is how we do holidays. as far as i know, it's an Italian thing; dinner lasts several hours and is divided up in at least 3 courses. our spin on it, though is that there will be no "italian food" present at the holiday table (except the artichokes). no lasagna, no ziti, no manicotti or spaghetti. why? i have no idea. i think it's because Thanksgiving is a completely American Holiday, with definite menu "rules"; all the other holidays (ie. Christmas, Easter, etc) are so distinctly italian in our house that the one non-religious holiday we celebrate is completely steeped in American Tradition (while at the same time, the table groans under the weight of Italian overkill). Anyhoo...

This Thanksgiving, when i bow my head and give thanks i'll be thinking of you (because chances are, if you're reading this, I know you and care about you very much). i'll be thinking of how lucky i am to have such wonderful friends (most of whom i've known so long that they're my family), my family who truly loves and supports me, my health (such as it is), and most importantly Stephen; without whom i'd not be half as happy or content as i am.

i'll also be very thankful that i took off on friday to recover. enjoy your Thanksgiving, everyone!

"Thanksgiving isn't about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where, with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and Squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach"~ Willow (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Printer Etiquette 101

If you happen to share a networked printer with another department, here are some helpful hints to avoid having a screaming Mary beating on the unit, hurling profanities, before 8am:

1. if the printer is jammed, and you know it's jammed 'cause your print ain't coming out, don't wait for someone else to un-jam it. do it yourself. you know you know how. everybody knows how. if the uni-brows in IT can figure it out, so can you. it's not rocket science.


2. since we all share a printer, and all have multi-page reports to print, when you're rifling through the pile o'prints to get yours, how about leaving everyone else's in some sort of cohesive order? you know you don't wanna be putting puzzles together before you've had your coffee, well neither do i.


3. if your report is over 100 pages, let somebody know so they're not standing at the printer like a dope waiting for their 1 page fax.


4. don't grab 4 " stack of prints and assume that you're the only person who printed, and that it all belongs to you. look 1st. take out the stuff that isn't yours and leave it at the printer or if you're feeling really charitable and wanna take one more year off your sentence in hell, give it to the person to whom it belongs.


5. if the 4" pile of paper is yours, refill the paper tray. you know it's gonna need to be done and it ain't gonna happen by itself.

following some or (dare-i-say it) all of these rules really will help to make the work environment a happy and healthy one! who knows, maybe it'll also extend your lifespan...

Double-Oh-My

We saw Casino Royale last night, the latest James Bond flick and all i can say is: DAMN. this movie totally blew away all its predecessors. from the 1st scene to the end credits, it was a truly amazing movie with a wonderful balance of action and plot (unlike some of the older Bond films that seem to drag under the weight of exposition and minutae). at no point during the film was i sitting there thinking, "ok...get on with it", like i've done during Die Another Day and most of the Sean Connery era films.

let's talk abou the cast, shall we? it must be said, i Y Judi Dench. she's fucking amazing. that woman could read the phonebook on BBC-America, in front of a fire, and i'd be completely transfixed for 2 hours. there really is nothing like a dame. the love interest, whose name escapes me, was completely forgetable. she reminded me of a poor man's Parker Posey (lacking the zany charm). what do you expect from a character named Vesper?

now, let's talk about Daniel Craig:

i was floored at

a) how hot he is

b) how great of a bond he was,

c) how hot he is,

d) how well he acted and

e) how unbelievably hot he is.

he has completely re-invented the character of James Bond and we are better off for it. he's rugged and masculine, without being overly butch.

i hate to be one of those fags that says that every hot man is family, but i think this one is (are there any rumors about?): he does the circuit-euro-gay-boy duck-lip/pout thing as though he should be standing at the upstairs bar at XL (ie. porn-star/CEO Michael Lukas,~~~>).

go see this movie. bring a friend. you won't be disappointed.

"Nobody does it betterMakes me feel sad for the rest.Nobody does it half as good as you.Baby, you're the best"~Nobody Does it Better/The Spy Who Loved Me (Carly Simon)

Ex Marks the Spot Pt. 2

So I told stephen about the ex (to whom we’ll refer as Shithead, since that’s how I usually refer to him), and he seemed remarkably unfazed. He was glad I told him, but knowing most of the details of our break-up/relationship he also knew I had no intention of seeing him again or of replying to the e-mail; case closed. The next day I told John, and he wanted to know what my reply was. When I told him that there wasn’t going to be a reply, he was genuinely surprised. (I’ll spare you the long story here) his opinion was that “it was so long ago and it seems silly to hold onto what had happened. We’re all different people than we were then”. He’s right…in his own way… it was a long time ago and I am a different person: the kind of person that doesn’t want a liar in his life. At the end of our relationship, I didn’t believe half of what Shithead told me. I questioned his motives about everything and, to be honest I still do. our relationship made me alot less trusting of people, especially those I’m romantically involved with. Thanks Shithead!

Even if I did still “like” him (read: think he’s a good person; worth spending time and re-creating a friendship with) I’ll admit that I’ve never found it easy to be friends with my exes (no matter how few they are). With only one exception, almost all the guys I called “boyfriend” and I ended on “bad terms”. Our break ups were just that: breaking of emotion and/or communication. To be honest though, I can’t see any other way to end a romantic relationship other than a complete and total freeze out. I envy (the stereotypical) lesbians (of whom John is surely an honorary one) for having the ability to be friends with their exes, regardless of the circumstances surrounding their break up. It’s truly amazing that no matter how many times the cops were called, how many ER vistis there were, how many hurtful things were said, and how many hearts were broken in the process, that they can rise above it all and stay friends.
All kidding aside, I really do admire people that can stay friends with their exes. Stephen and I were in the car the other day and I asked him how it was possible that after a relationship ends, all the love and passion and friendship that existed during the relationship suddenly seems to evaporate? You’ve made all this emotional investment in the other person, and then walk away without so much as a person you can dish with over coffee? It sounds like a raw deal to me, but it’s what happens.

Stephen asked me last night if Shithead had e-mailed me again after not getting a reply (perhaps he isn’t as unfazed as I thought). I told him that he hadn’t, and that hopefully he wouldn’t. over the last few years I seem to have lost a lot of my “friends” due to circumstances; in a lot of the cases we just “grew apart” due to large expanses of time and space, but some just proved either not to be good friends or just not the friends that they started out being. While I’d never turn them away if they ever called me for help or if they were in need, I also wouldn’t look to them to ease my pain or need. I have other, stronger, friends to whom I’d turn.

I guess what I’m saying (about both my romantic and friendly relationships) is that, we “broke up” for a reason and sometimes that reason shouldn’t be forgotten; sometimes the hurt/scars/etc run a little too deeply.

Ex Marks the Spot Pt. 1

Way back in the day, before Stephen, I had a boyfriend. At the time he was my longest “serious relationship” (5 months), and I really thought I loved him. At the end of the 5 months, I realized that I didn’t even like him, so the idea that I could love him seemed ludicrous. he wasn’t very attractive (not that I’m an Adonis), and was by far and above one of the worst lovers I’ve ever had (I’m sorry, but it had to be said); he was extremely cheap, and in the entire 5 months we were together, I think he paid for one dinner. He wasn’t a very nice person and he lied…a lot. He lied about everything and anything. If he wasn’t lying, he was simply avoiding direct questions or just not telling the truth (lies of omission?).

in retrospect, I really don’t know what we ever saw in each other, because we fought all the time, especially in public. The 1st time we did it (2 months in), I could tell it was a test: he didn’t think I would argue with him, just nod, smile and bide my time. Nuh-uh. I don’t work that way. Somehow the disagreement became an all-out-fight. Fighting in public is the kiss of death, as far as I’m concerned, for any relationship. I spent the next 3 months trying to figure out what I was doing. We gradually started seeing less and less of each other (I was living/working on SI and he was in Brooklyn), because I couldn’t afford to keep driving into see him ($9 toll + gas) and he refused to come to Staten Island and spend the night at my place; so we started having a long-distance-relationship, even though we were less than 20 minutes apart. Finally, I told him that I was very unhappy and we broke up. I don’t remember crying (I think I may have, once) but I do remember knowing that I was out of a “bad relationship”. Don’t get me wrong: he never hit me, stole my money or cheated on me; he was just an asshole.


After we broke up we played the game where the couple tries to get their “Stuff” back from the other (CDs DVDs etc). he put me off and dicked around for a few weeks, till I told him that all I wanted were a couple of floppy disks I’d left there (which contained all my poetry and some other stuff I’d written over the years). he could keep the Samantha Fox’s Greatest Hits CD and my VHS copy of the Object of My Affection. Call them the spoils of war; all I wanted were my disks. He jerked me around for another month, in which time we both got very mean and terribly childish (name calling and phone calls). Finally he relented, and brought them to the mall while I was at work. That was well over 5 years ago, and the last time I saw him.

Recently, I cancelled my AOL account(s) and switched to Verizon.net. they have this nifty feature where you send them the info for all your other accounts and they send out e-mails to everyone in your address book to let them know you’re switching. Great idea, no? no. sometimes you forget who’s in your address book, and get a random e-mail from that ex you thought/hoped had moved to Tibet asking you out for a cup of coffee because it’s “So good to hear from you”.
So what do you do? do you e-mail them back and tell them that it was a mistake and they should please not e-mail you back? Do you e-mail them back and ask them if they were drunk/high/possessed when they invited you out? OR do you delete the e-mail, tell your (smarter, kinder, gentler, better looking, great in bed) fiancé and quietly laugh at your ex’s inability to remember how much you couldn’t stand each other.

Guess which one I chose.

"I put up with all the scenes and this is one scene/That's going to be played my way./Take your hands off me/I don't belong to you/you see./Take a look at my face for the last time -I never knew you - you never knew me."~ Say Hello, Wave Goodbye (Soft Cell)

I Did It...

i finally succumbed to the lure of Blogger Beta.

in the interim i lost my ticker for the Commitment Ceremony!

Strike a Pose Pt. 2

we met with a 2nd photographer last night: Emerald Studios, also on Staten Island. i'll admit, i had some misgivings both when i made the appointment (based on the conversation with the receptionist who made the appointment) and then when we 1st got there; when we walked in, there were 5 older straight guys who work at the Car Service/cab/limo company next door, hanging out with the old Irish guy playing secretary at the front desk. it was alot like walking into an old fashioned saloon, dressed in obvious drag. you could hear the needle slide across the record, y'know? but they came highly reccomended by Jenn and her sister, both of whom hired them for their respective weddings, so we decided to wait it out.

as we were waiting, outside the photographer/dj/videographer/owner's door, we listened to his interaction with a bride and her mother. he didn't sound...genuine. there was an obvious schpeil he gives to clients and he was deffinitely on a tear. to paraphrase stephen, he sounded like he should have an infomercial on late night TV; all that was missing was desk pounding and a guest appearance by Air Supply.
when we went in, though, he gave me a much different impression. unlike the 1st photographer we met with, he laid everything on the line for us. when we left, we had a very accurate idea of how much it would cost us to use him as our photographer; he outlined all his package deals for us and gave us a wealth of information about how many pictures per book (85 pictures on 40 pages vs 60/40 vs 40/40) and the different styles of photos we could get (photojournalistic vs portriat vs candid). the 1st photographer basically gave us a price, but didn't tell us what we'd be paying for (and we didn't know enough to ask). today i'm going to call the 1st photographer and ask him all the important question. i figure it's best to make an educated decision.

It's Tuesday? You're Kidding...

swamped...
so utterly swamped.
i was out one day and in Armpit for one day, yet you'd think i was gone a month. i came in this morning and there was a 6" pile of paperwork on my desk. In box? i haven't seen that in months.

just a recap the weekend...
the MRI went as well as an MRI can go. i didn't have a reaction to the contrast dye and i'm going to pick up the results today, after work. don't applaud yet: at this point they're just fancy pictures of my brain, and are therefore meaningless to me. i have to wait till December 4th to talk to Dr. Demonico and see what he thinks.
i also went for a second hearing test where everything is status quo, which means i'm not going progressively deaf-er.

back to work.

Auto-Neurotic

I was supposed to be back in NJ all this week, but I just found out that it's only for today. you've no idea what a weight that is off my mind. The last thing I want to be doing is driving out to West Armpit (ie. The land that Starbucks forgot), with the car in its current state: dangling precariously on the brink of death.
Ok maybe I'm exaggerating slightly, but true to form, I have absolutely no clue when it comes to the inner workings of a car. My concept of automotive mechanics is sketchy at best. I can fill my gas tank (when I remember) and replace the windshield wiper fluid. That's it. In all honesty, had Stephen not told me there was something wrong with the car, I'd have no idea. Who knew that a car isn't supposed to shake and tremble, like Katherine Hepburn, when you hit 63 mph? Certainly not i.

Having once-upon-a-time (in a suburb far far away) been straight-ish (yup, he dated girls, folks), stephen has some possible diagnoses for what's causing the Kate-like tremors (something about the spark plugs or the transmission or something, I dunno). Now, I know that tranny trouble (hee hee) is pricey, so that kinda made me balk and I'm really not sure what the spark plugs do, so I don't know if they're a major expense (I don't think so). On the way home from our nephew's christening, in long island, stephen starts asking me if I'm prepared for when car breaks down.

Whoa whoa whoa...First off: Who knew that was an option? Secondly: waddaya MEAN "when"...how about "IF"? now, as I've mentioned I was a Boy Scout, so I am actually prepared for many eventualities: I always have an umbrella, my cell is always charged, and there's an emergency $20 in my car. my bag is a bottomless pit of curiosities which include matches, chopsticks, a impossibly small stapler and a sewing kit. I've got lip balm, a mini mirror from the Met, and a small box of toothpicks from our 2nd date. In my wallet I've got a Swiss Army card with scissors, tweezers, a knife and pen. Trust me I'm prepared. I just didn't want to hear that I needed to be prepared for something. the last thing I need to think of is that I'll be flying down Rt 78, belting out a Bjork tune (you should hear my Icelandic accent), and suddenly find the car losing power. This is not a vision I need, nor is it one that I'm EMOTIONALLY prepared for. I'm not ready to deal with (having to deal with) my car breaking down in a foreign land. In my mind, everything is ok til it isn't. when it's not, I'll figure it out, I just don’t want to think about it till I have to. Call me irresponsible, but that's how I see it.

I'm glad I won't be returning here for the rest of the week. When I got in the car this morning I had an amazing amount of agita, over the idea that I wouldn't make it to Starbucks...i mean work. Tomorrow, I'll hop on the express bus. If it breaks down, another one will be right behind it to carry my irresponsible ass to Manhattan where it'll hop on the 1st F train it comes across.

Gaypocalypse Now

yup...that's our real agenda...the end of the world (and dead kittens)...it's the end of the world as we know it (and we feel fabulous)!

Like a Beaver

very busy today. lots of work to do, since i'll be off tomorrow. by work i mean either a) hide all the stuff that i don't want other people to see, or b) do as much as i can so Dummy doesn't fuck up my desk in my absence (as she's been known to do in the past). oh! i made an appointment for the follow-up hearing test: this saturday at 11:30.
maybe i'll post more later...

"In the same boat with a lot of your friends/Waitin' for the day your ship'll come in /And the tide's gonna turn/ And it's all gonna roll your way" ~ 9 to 5 (Doly Parton)

Lez Talk Frankly

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to Vote or Not to Vote (Should It Even Be a Question?)

ok, 1st off: yesterday's post was terribly dark, mea culpa. i really was having a terrible day, even before it started. stephen and i worked it out; it really was a miscomunication/misunderstanding. you'd never believe that two people, who are so good at talking to other people, could be such morons when talking to each other. that's just the way it goes, i guess. it's all good. now on with the show...

it's Election Day and to be quite frank i have no idea who to vote for. i don't really know whose running and or what they're running for. i know what you're thinking: "BAD FAG! You should be up on politics and the candidates, since it's in their hands that your future happiness lies"! i just don't have the time to wade through all the bullshit and verbal hand jobs to decipher who's on "my" side and who's on Emperor GW's. in my mind the equation was always Republican(s) = bad, they want to take away all our rights and then round us up and ship us all to an unnamed Island off the coast of Ibiza hoping we'll all fuck each other into venereal disease induced oblivion. concurrently, in my politically juvenille mindn Democrat(s) = Good; promising us equal rights and free mochachinos for life. i'm over-exagerating of course, but i really felt that the Dems were more trustworthy than the Reps, but i know it's all one big grey area. they're all (Dems and Reps, alike)saying exactly what they think everyone wants to hear (or they're being intentionally vague about things so that they can't be pinned down on any topic in particular). so, while i know it's my civic duty to vote, i'm left with this strange feeling of knowing that i don't really know enough to make a truly informed decision.

what's a guy to do?

Ugh...Monday...again

i'm so tired i can hardly see.
we had two shows last weekend, one show at Jenn's this weekend, and my sister-in-law's baby shower yesterday. i haven't been sleeping well, since i have so much on my mind (namely, paying for the wedding, and my car's transmition which seems to be on it's last leg). strangely enough, i'm not worrying a tremendous amount over my brain tumor. i'm very much "whatever" about the whole thing (though, i will confess i had a bit of a mini- meltdown the other night while watching an episode of the L Word where one of the characters is diagnosed with breast cancer. don't ask how i made the leap from cancer to a brain tumor; i just did). i haven't seen john or chris in, what feels like, 3 months. if it wasn't for their blogs i'd have no idea a) what they look like or b) what they are up to. so, i'm tired, cranky and quite honestly a bit on the depressed side. stephen and are are sniping at eachother like a couple of under-caffinated/under-cocained drag queens and had a small row on the phone when i got to work. now my text messages are going ignored.

i just wanna sleep for, like, 3 days straight.

Strike a Pose

after a flurry of phonecalls to various newlyweds on Tuesday, last night we had our 1st appointment with a Staten Island wedding photographer: Picture Beautiful.
it went well, the girl we met with gave us alot of options for our album style and was very general when it came down to "package deals". after she showed us some samples and we toured the studio to see the different backdrops, we hunkered down to talk of the sordid topic of price: $3000 for an unlimited number of photos, our album, 6 mini books (for our parents and witnesses), and Thank You cards. is that a good deal? i have no idea. this definitely falls outside my realm of experience. it sounds like a lot of money, but photographers are artists, so maybe it's reasonable. this one i'm leaving to stephen.
we have another appointment with another studio on the 14th. i'm not sure how i feel about them though. my gut is giving me warnings based solely on the call i made to make the appointment. the receptionist was kinda blase, but there was a noticeable pause when i mentioned my fiance's name is Stephen. i expected that. when she asked which church the ceremony was being held at, i laughed and told her that we couldn't get married in a church. she didn't seem to find it funny. i dunno, maybe i'm just overly sensitive. probably. that's just the way i am.

anyway, the highlight of the trip to Picture Beautiful was the shop next door which sells all sorts of wedding favors. we saw a few that we really liked, but were on the "Close Out" shelf; they only had 6 left and couldn't order more. when we told the salesgirl when the wedding is, she laughed and said that we had ages and ages to get favors and that we should come back in August of 2007; by then she'll have hundreds of more to choose from. she was so sweet and so gregarious that i felt completely endeared to her. then she gave Stephen a hand full of Jordan almonds, thereby sealing the deal. we've found our Wedding Favor Supplier.

Mornings Do Not Become Me

i woke up regular time (5:35) and performed my morning ablutions and preperations, as usual, and was on the bus stop by 6:05. somehow, despite the trecherous rain which usually slows traffic to a hault on the NJ Turnpike, i made it into the City 10 minutes earlier than usual (6:40). seeing that i had a couple of extra minutes, i figured i'd indulge and got off at 8th avenue and 34th instead of 6th avenue since there's a Starbucks there, right by the C train.

i got my coffee (5 shot skim no-foam Maple Macchiato), and headed over to the C train. i waited about 15 minutes till one arrived and got on with the herd of Catholic school girls and business drones. three stops later, i'm able to see out the window, i notice that i'm now on 50th street. i got on the wrong train. i went uptown.
i jump off the train and look around dumbly for some sign which will guide me to the downtown platform which has a C train just pulling in. apparently, unlike other stations, you can't walk under or over to get to the opposite platrorm, you have to go outside. so i go outside, in the pouring rain, and look around dumbly (again) for the downtown entrance. after about 10 minutes (and a call to stephen), i find it and wait for another 10 minutes for the right train.

i got to work at 8am sweating, rain-soaked, freaking out and terribly over-caffinated (the more upset i was getting, the more of my coffee i drank). finally, almost 3 hours later, all my levels are regulated. i'm calm. i'm cool. and i've stopped twitching like long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Kopfgeschlagen

it's been almost six months since my last visit to Dr. Demonico, Neuro-Surgeon. per his instructions, i called for a prescription for the latest MRI (the appointment is November 10th) and hearing test. once again we play the waiting game:

• has the tumor grown?
• has my hearing gotten any worse?
• are the two linked?

tune in December 5th for the answers to these, and many other, questions!

in other news, i bought these wonderful canisters from the Office Tupperware Lady. stephen's had a set for ages and ages and mentioned that he wanted another set (for white sugar, brown sugar, espresso, coffee beans and flour). the new ones have the cutest little windows in the front so you can tell what the hell's in 'em! who else but Tupperware?

"That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word 'peppy' and the word 'cheap'. Peppy and cheap"~ Soapdish (Gary Marshall)