Ex Marks the Spot Pt. 1

Way back in the day, before Stephen, I had a boyfriend. At the time he was my longest “serious relationship” (5 months), and I really thought I loved him. At the end of the 5 months, I realized that I didn’t even like him, so the idea that I could love him seemed ludicrous. he wasn’t very attractive (not that I’m an Adonis), and was by far and above one of the worst lovers I’ve ever had (I’m sorry, but it had to be said); he was extremely cheap, and in the entire 5 months we were together, I think he paid for one dinner. He wasn’t a very nice person and he lied…a lot. He lied about everything and anything. If he wasn’t lying, he was simply avoiding direct questions or just not telling the truth (lies of omission?).

in retrospect, I really don’t know what we ever saw in each other, because we fought all the time, especially in public. The 1st time we did it (2 months in), I could tell it was a test: he didn’t think I would argue with him, just nod, smile and bide my time. Nuh-uh. I don’t work that way. Somehow the disagreement became an all-out-fight. Fighting in public is the kiss of death, as far as I’m concerned, for any relationship. I spent the next 3 months trying to figure out what I was doing. We gradually started seeing less and less of each other (I was living/working on SI and he was in Brooklyn), because I couldn’t afford to keep driving into see him ($9 toll + gas) and he refused to come to Staten Island and spend the night at my place; so we started having a long-distance-relationship, even though we were less than 20 minutes apart. Finally, I told him that I was very unhappy and we broke up. I don’t remember crying (I think I may have, once) but I do remember knowing that I was out of a “bad relationship”. Don’t get me wrong: he never hit me, stole my money or cheated on me; he was just an asshole.


After we broke up we played the game where the couple tries to get their “Stuff” back from the other (CDs DVDs etc). he put me off and dicked around for a few weeks, till I told him that all I wanted were a couple of floppy disks I’d left there (which contained all my poetry and some other stuff I’d written over the years). he could keep the Samantha Fox’s Greatest Hits CD and my VHS copy of the Object of My Affection. Call them the spoils of war; all I wanted were my disks. He jerked me around for another month, in which time we both got very mean and terribly childish (name calling and phone calls). Finally he relented, and brought them to the mall while I was at work. That was well over 5 years ago, and the last time I saw him.

Recently, I cancelled my AOL account(s) and switched to Verizon.net. they have this nifty feature where you send them the info for all your other accounts and they send out e-mails to everyone in your address book to let them know you’re switching. Great idea, no? no. sometimes you forget who’s in your address book, and get a random e-mail from that ex you thought/hoped had moved to Tibet asking you out for a cup of coffee because it’s “So good to hear from you”.
So what do you do? do you e-mail them back and tell them that it was a mistake and they should please not e-mail you back? Do you e-mail them back and ask them if they were drunk/high/possessed when they invited you out? OR do you delete the e-mail, tell your (smarter, kinder, gentler, better looking, great in bed) fiancé and quietly laugh at your ex’s inability to remember how much you couldn’t stand each other.

Guess which one I chose.

"I put up with all the scenes and this is one scene/That's going to be played my way./Take your hands off me/I don't belong to you/you see./Take a look at my face for the last time -I never knew you - you never knew me."~ Say Hello, Wave Goodbye (Soft Cell)