1. watching the occasional episode of Star Trek while high
2. watching them all (chronologically) on Netflix, straight
3. joining an online discussion board about Star Trek
4. attending a convention
5. naming your pet after either a character/actor
6. attending a convention in costume
7. writing “fan fiction”
8. traveling to another state to attend a convention
9. having a Star Trek themed wedding*
10. naming your child after either a character or actor*
right around #6 is when people might organize the intervention.
Bearing that in mind, i'm fairly sure The Crazy Scale for Knitters** would look a little like this:
1. learning to knit
2. coming out as a knitter and knitting stuff for others
3. joining Ravelry
4. getting your yarn from a local or online yarn shop instead of Michael’s or the dollar store.
5. covering everything you own in a “cozy” (including, but not limited to your coffee cup, computer, teapot, dog, sig-oth’s genitals)
6. owning your own yarn swift and ball winder***
7. selling your finished objects (or, at least, attempting to) to friends and strangers
8. spinning your own yarn
9. dying your own yarn and naming it things like “Summer Harvest” or “Twisted Nipples”
10. owning your own yarn producing mammal so you can spin and dye your yarn whenever you want.
Now, keep in mind, these scales have alot of little degrees in-between the points, like the markings on a ruler; I’m sure “buying a loom” would rate a 9.5, and “learning Klingon” would be 8.5, but you get the general idea. Anyway, back to me (because this is about my crazy, on my blog).
For those of you who don’t read the blog regularly, I’m at #8, which is a place I never thought that I’d ever be. Truthfully, from the moment I learned that there were people out there who spun their own yarn (which I learned shortly after joining Ravelry), until Magenta and I went to the Connecticut Sheep and Wool festival, this past April, I have thought of “spinning” as that “next level” of crazy which I’d never descend to. I had a vague notion of what it meant to spin and thought that its practioners were just nuts, when there were acres and acres of perfectly fine yarn available at yarn shops across the country; spinning was something best left to the pros. Besides, where does one even get a spinning wheel in 2012? I read posts on the various group message boards on Ravelry and thought “wow…you're using dog hair”, shook my head and went back to perfecting my needle-less cabling.
Well, we were at the CSAWF, and there were all these people there spinning; and not just spinning on wheels, but on these little doohickeys called “drop spindles” which were just perfectly weighted blocks of wood which (you guessed it) twisted and spun the yarn out of wool (or whatever the spinner was using). I was absolutely fascinated by the entire process and seriously had to fight from buying a drop spindle from one of the four or five local craftsmen hawking them. I think what pushed me over the edge was when one of these craftsmen (or craftswoman) demonstrated the difference in her spindles and explained the entire process; throwing out magical sounding words like “plying” and “batts”.
What eventually stopped me, though, was when (the ever practical
I’m sure I’ll get there, eventually, but for now, I’m content to ride the scale of crazy like a rising thermometer, maybe learn a little more about crochet and contemplate the design of my knitting themed fifth tattoo. That can't be higher than a 7.5, right?
*These two are, like, the golden snitches of Trekkie-dom; and if you hit #9, #10 is all but guaranteed
** this is one of the rare times I feel that terms like "knitters" and "crocheters" can be used interchangeably; I’m sure crocheters' Crazy Scale is the same, but since I don’t usually associate with hookers, I’ll never know…
***which has nothing to do with your sig-oth’s genitals, you kinky muggle