Sock It To Me

When I 1st started knitting, CawfeeMate only had one request: he wanted a pair of wool socks. I dismissed the idea out of principle. I had better, more interesting, things that I wanted to make for myself and him! Cawfee Cozies! Hats! Scarves! A Sweater! This is why I learned to knit!

The thing is, he hardly ever gets cold (even in the harshest winter weather) and so he didn’t need or want a hat, gloves, or a scarf (we’re still looking for the right yarn for his Wallaby); all he wanted was socks to wear around the house. I tried to distract him with other things he’d want: a tea cozy, an i-Pod sock and even replacement pads for his headphones. He was quite happy to get them, but wanted to know why his iPod was now being kept cozy and not his feet. Still, I resisted and knit him a lovely green hat that he didn’t want, but loved anyway. "Besides", I told him, “socks are way more advanced knitting than I’m capable of; I  just learned how to have the right number of stitches at the end of my project"!

The truth was, I had absolutely no desire to learn to make socks, because they’re socks. They go on your feet, inside a shoe, under your pants; who sees them? Who cares? If it wasn’t for social convention, I’d never wear them. Hell, if I could get away with it, I’d never wear shoes, either. Sadly, that’s not the case. My ridiculously flat feet require arch support and my job kinda demands I keep my toes to myself. But, I digress; back to CawfeeMate.

I was able to put him off for a year, before I took my 1st sock class at the Yarn Girl’s shop. Like most knitters, projects had grown in difficulty and complexity in the year since I had 1st learned; from simple solid scarves and other flat things, to those worked “in round” (like tea cozies and hats), etc. I had learned different techniques and stitches with the patterns I was choosing and felt that every new project I started was the next step in my education. Around this time, I had learned to make fingerless gloves* and was fascinated with the methods for making thumb gussets and the individual digits. All the while, CawfeeMate was incredibly supportive and marveled at what I had learned, in a year, from my mom, Magenta, the Yarn Girl and YouTube; he praised everything I made and made me feel great about my finished projects.

Unfortunately, he would no longer be mollified with another ____ cozy or piece of clothing he had no need for. He wanted his socks. I tried to explain that I wasn’t quite at that level, but he wasn't buying it. I’d proven my abilities on the gloves. He wanted his socks. And really, how could I say no? I cluttered his home with boxes filled with yarn, bags of needles and books filled with patterns; I tapped his brain on a regular basis to help me alter patterns to fit my gauge; I used him as a human yarn swift when I needed to ball skeins of yarn; he sewed/darned little holes created by dropped stitches. I owed him for that and all the other stuff he did while working full time and finishing up his doctorate in PT.

The class was (unsurprisingly) fun, the pattern was (surprisingly) really easy to learn/follow and three weeks later, CawfeeMate had a pair of green socks to call his own. He then wanted to know if the next pair I made him could be ribbed (so they’d be more stretchy to fit over his hot, sexy, manly calves). Oh, and could I make them in a brown so he could wear them to work with his khakis? Sure thing! No problemo!

Like everything else in knitting, there are a bazillion different patterns and techniques for doing everything; there were plenty of patterns out there, with different stitches and techniques to keep me entertained and him happy. Seven weeks later he had his 2nd pair, which were infinitely more complex than the 1st and which had taught me how to cable knit! The 3rd pair took a week longer** than the 2nd and wound up being a complete waste of two months, when the “machine washable” yarn I used felted in our washing machine, making them completely unwearable. I was completely disgusted by the whole affair and went back to making gloves, to cool off.

Recently, though, I came across the most interesting stitch pattern, and, since I’ve been meaning to make a birthday gift for one of my dearest friends, decided to go back to socks; for her. I finished the 1st one, this morning, and am really thrilled with the result.

I’ll still never crank out a pair for myself, since the odds of me wearing them are slim to none; but, as long as CawfeeMate assures me that still wants them, and as long as there are enough patterns to hold my attention, I know I’ll keep making them. For him.

*strictly speaking, they’re gloves without fingertips; don’t get technical on me

** socks are knit on the smallest of all knitting needles (think: kabob skewers) and use the thinnest of yarns. the smaller the needle, the more stitches it takes to make an item.