I fear I’m a bad relationship and don’t know how to get out. Worse, I don’t know if I want to get out. No, it’s not CawfeeMate, you boob; the man’s a friggin saint.
It’s my knitting needle dealer.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
R-E-S-P-etc.
This post probably won’t win me Miss Congeniality; it might actually be cause for the Boy Scouts of America to revoke a few merit badges and the ACLU to cut up my membership card.
I was heading home on the bus the other day and people were getting on, at various stops, along 42nd street. By the time the bus had hit 7th avenue, all the seats were taken, which is nothing new; usually, the bus home is packed, with only one or two empty seats. When the bus hit 8th avenue, the bus driver explicitly told the people waiting that the bus was full and it was SRO. Again, this isn’t uncommon, either; at least once a week, there are people standing in the aisle. Well this particular night, only one person opted to stand. He was a heavy set, older man (late sixties?), clearly as affected by the heat as everyone else. What struck me, though, is that he got on knowing there weren’t any seats available and then looked from passenger to passenger with an expression that I interpreted to mean “ok, which one of you is going to stand so I can sit”? I don’t know why I interpreted it as such, he never said that out loud (at least not that I could hear over my headphones), but that’s what my inner Jean Grey picked up. He just looked so…expectant. i won’t lie and tell you that I leapt up and gave him my seat, because that’s not what happened. I’ll admit, I was very tempted to give him my seat; but I didn’t.
I was heading home on the bus the other day and people were getting on, at various stops, along 42nd street. By the time the bus had hit 7th avenue, all the seats were taken, which is nothing new; usually, the bus home is packed, with only one or two empty seats. When the bus hit 8th avenue, the bus driver explicitly told the people waiting that the bus was full and it was SRO. Again, this isn’t uncommon, either; at least once a week, there are people standing in the aisle. Well this particular night, only one person opted to stand. He was a heavy set, older man (late sixties?), clearly as affected by the heat as everyone else. What struck me, though, is that he got on knowing there weren’t any seats available and then looked from passenger to passenger with an expression that I interpreted to mean “ok, which one of you is going to stand so I can sit”? I don’t know why I interpreted it as such, he never said that out loud (at least not that I could hear over my headphones), but that’s what my inner Jean Grey picked up. He just looked so…expectant. i won’t lie and tell you that I leapt up and gave him my seat, because that’s not what happened. I’ll admit, I was very tempted to give him my seat; but I didn’t.
You Don't Have to Be Crazy to Work Here...
It seems there are a few things that weren't covered in the new hire orientation or in the employee handbook we need to read and affirm annually:
1. Elevator etiquette: if you see someone running towards the elevator, and there’s room, hold the door for them. We’re all in a hurry to go somewhere, whether it’s home or up to your desk, would it kill you show some courtesy? Oh and when/if they do make it in time and cause the doors to re-open so they can get on, don’t give them attitude/face; you’re the jerk, not them.
2. Speaker of the House: unless you’re in your own office, with a door that closes, speakerphone is incredibly irritating to those around you. how 'bout picking up that receiver, buddy?
3. Potty Mouth: guys, if you’re too pee shy to use a urinal, at least have the decency to lift the seat in the stall. Or, if you can’t wait that long, clean it off afterward, y’filthy animal.
4. Spellbound: outlook has spell check, built-in, let it do its job…please.
5. Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood: your cubicle is not a self contained biosphere sealing you off from your co-workers, other people can see you picking your nose, hear you belching and smell your wretched lunch.
6. Door Jam:ladies bitches, having a door held open for you is a privilege, not a right; try saying “thank you” and reciprocating once in a while
7. Finger Print: Printer etiquette has been a pet peeve of mine, for years; so much so, that it had a list of its own, way back when and then again, a few years later. i still stand behind both posts.
ladies
1. Elevator etiquette: if you see someone running towards the elevator, and there’s room, hold the door for them. We’re all in a hurry to go somewhere, whether it’s home or up to your desk, would it kill you show some courtesy? Oh and when/if they do make it in time and cause the doors to re-open so they can get on, don’t give them attitude/face; you’re the jerk, not them.
2. Speaker of the House: unless you’re in your own office, with a door that closes, speakerphone is incredibly irritating to those around you. how 'bout picking up that receiver, buddy?
3. Potty Mouth: guys, if you’re too pee shy to use a urinal, at least have the decency to lift the seat in the stall. Or, if you can’t wait that long, clean it off afterward, y’filthy animal.
4. Spellbound: outlook has spell check, built-in, let it do its job…please.
5. Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood: your cubicle is not a self contained biosphere sealing you off from your co-workers, other people can see you picking your nose, hear you belching and smell your wretched lunch.
6. Door Jam:
7. Finger Print: Printer etiquette has been a pet peeve of mine, for years; so much so, that it had a list of its own, way back when and then again, a few years later. i still stand behind both posts.
ladies
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Sock It To Me
When I 1st started knitting, CawfeeMate only had one request: he wanted a pair of wool socks. I dismissed the idea out of principle. I had better, more interesting, things that I wanted to make for myself and him! Cawfee Cozies! Hats! Scarves! A Sweater! This is why I learned to knit!
The thing is, he hardly ever gets cold (even in the harshest winter weather) and so he didn’t need or want a hat, gloves, or a scarf (we’re still looking for the right yarn for his Wallaby); all he wanted was socks to wear around the house. I tried to distract him with other things he’d want: a tea cozy, an i-Pod sock and even replacement pads for his headphones. He was quite happy to get them, but wanted to know why his iPod was now being kept cozy and not his feet. Still, I resisted and knit him a lovely green hat that he didn’t want, but loved anyway. "Besides", I told him, “socks are way more advanced knitting than I’m capable of; I just learned how to have the right number of stitches at the end of my project"!
The truth was, I had absolutely no desire to learn to make socks, because they’re socks. They go on your feet, inside a shoe, under your pants; who sees them? Who cares? If it wasn’t for social convention, I’d never wear them. Hell, if I could get away with it, I’d never wear shoes, either. Sadly, that’s not the case. My ridiculously flat feet require arch support and my job kinda demands I keep my toes to myself. But, I digress; back to CawfeeMate.
The thing is, he hardly ever gets cold (even in the harshest winter weather) and so he didn’t need or want a hat, gloves, or a scarf (we’re still looking for the right yarn for his Wallaby); all he wanted was socks to wear around the house. I tried to distract him with other things he’d want: a tea cozy, an i-Pod sock and even replacement pads for his headphones. He was quite happy to get them, but wanted to know why his iPod was now being kept cozy and not his feet. Still, I resisted and knit him a lovely green hat that he didn’t want, but loved anyway. "Besides", I told him, “socks are way more advanced knitting than I’m capable of; I just learned how to have the right number of stitches at the end of my project"!
The truth was, I had absolutely no desire to learn to make socks, because they’re socks. They go on your feet, inside a shoe, under your pants; who sees them? Who cares? If it wasn’t for social convention, I’d never wear them. Hell, if I could get away with it, I’d never wear shoes, either. Sadly, that’s not the case. My ridiculously flat feet require arch support and my job kinda demands I keep my toes to myself. But, I digress; back to CawfeeMate.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
People Are People, Right?
Where is all this hate coming from? I know it’s nothing new and it’s also nothing I haven’t touched upon, on this blog, before, but I’m really at a loss lately. There’s so much about the militant anti-LGBT movement that I just don’t understand; like the rationale of the Nazis and the Klan. My pink liberal brain just can’t quite comprehend what it is that one gets out of limiting the rights, freedoms and happiness of others. I don’t get how anyone can say that “the gays” want to “redefine marriage” when, in all actuality, most of us agree with the current definition: “two people, in a legally binding contract, joined together forever”; just not the interpretation of “two people”. The gays aren’t the ones who want to redefine it to only mean men and women marrying. I don’t understand how our marriage has any affect on anyone else’s life, but mine and my husband.
Quite honestly, I blame religion. The 1st thing you learn in almost all religious education is that only “believers” get into heaven; everyone else is doomed until they see the light. Non-believers are pitied, scorned and in extreme cases fought to the death. In a country built on freedom from religious persecution, you’d think we would be less apt to let religion have a hand in writing our laws. With the vitriol with which right-wing Christians and Catholics criticize Muslims for their hateful zeal, you’d think their anti-LGBT rhetoric would be less focused on cramming their faith and beliefs down the throats of non-believers. Most are so afraid of having any Muslim influence on our political system (read: the Birthers) that they can’t see their devotion to Jesus are just as rabidly fanatical.
It just seems that the entire anti-LGBT faction has gotten completely out of control and has become counter-productive to this country’s basic tenets, and raises more questions about its ethics and purported morals. You’ve got men and women who, despite all the hate and rhetoric directed at them, love their country enough that they’re willing to die to defend it. How can anyone rationalize not giving them the opportunity to defend that country because of who they sleep with? You’ve got millions of people who want to add more stability to the country by “legitimizing” their relationships and creating the standard family unit; how can that destroy it, especially when it's current state is in such horrible disrepair? How can a country founded on the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness seriously think that creating laws to limit all three, for a large section of the population, be in that country’s best interest? Did we learn nothing from our country’s past when the nation treated African Americans and women of all races as second class citizens?
Sometimes i get really scared about our future. Thinking about Proposition 8 and the recent news on DADT, it seems like the steps we've taken towards freedom and equality can be undone at anytime; that those freedoms and rights are wholly contingent on how many democrats or republicans are sitting where...
Quite honestly, I blame religion. The 1st thing you learn in almost all religious education is that only “believers” get into heaven; everyone else is doomed until they see the light. Non-believers are pitied, scorned and in extreme cases fought to the death. In a country built on freedom from religious persecution, you’d think we would be less apt to let religion have a hand in writing our laws. With the vitriol with which right-wing Christians and Catholics criticize Muslims for their hateful zeal, you’d think their anti-LGBT rhetoric would be less focused on cramming their faith and beliefs down the throats of non-believers. Most are so afraid of having any Muslim influence on our political system (read: the Birthers) that they can’t see their devotion to Jesus are just as rabidly fanatical.
It just seems that the entire anti-LGBT faction has gotten completely out of control and has become counter-productive to this country’s basic tenets, and raises more questions about its ethics and purported morals. You’ve got men and women who, despite all the hate and rhetoric directed at them, love their country enough that they’re willing to die to defend it. How can anyone rationalize not giving them the opportunity to defend that country because of who they sleep with? You’ve got millions of people who want to add more stability to the country by “legitimizing” their relationships and creating the standard family unit; how can that destroy it, especially when it's current state is in such horrible disrepair? How can a country founded on the ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness seriously think that creating laws to limit all three, for a large section of the population, be in that country’s best interest? Did we learn nothing from our country’s past when the nation treated African Americans and women of all races as second class citizens?
Sometimes i get really scared about our future. Thinking about Proposition 8 and the recent news on DADT, it seems like the steps we've taken towards freedom and equality can be undone at anytime; that those freedoms and rights are wholly contingent on how many democrats or republicans are sitting where...
Friday, July 15, 2011
Snatch
I was perusing the message boards of one of the Ravelry groups* I belong to, the other day, when I read a woman’s post about how she was on the 2 train, attempting to master a the purl stitch, when the woman next to her snatched her knitting out of her hands and proceeded to show her how to do it, without so much as a “how do you do”. Furthermore, after her post, there were about three or four other women who wrote that they had experienced similar, if not identical, situations; perfect strangers taking their knitting from them, without warning, and showing them “the right way” to do something!
Reading these stories, I was absolutely livid beyond words (though not so livid that I didn’t comment on their stories in much the same way I’m about to, here). I can’t imagine sitting on the train or bus, minding my own business, and having some random stranger take my knitting out of my hands, for whatever reason. I really think I’d punch someone if they tried to do that; just out of knee-jerk reactionary, gut instinct. you just don't do that in in New York city; that's how a bitch gets cut.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had people talk to me about my knitting while I’m on the bus or on the train** or even just out someplace***; it’s not every day that you see someone knitting in 2011, especially someone with a goatee. The difference is anyone who ever talked to me about my knitting tapped me on the shoulder or excused themselves for “bothering me”; if they wanted to see what I was working on (like the young lady from this morning), they asked to see it and then waited for me to hand it to them. Even the couple of women who offered advice or pointers didn’t try and take my knitting out of my hands.
Maybe it’s because I’m a guy; I don't think a woman would think about taking something (even knitting) out of a guy's hands (even a guy who knits hands); even when the guy looks like me. maybe it's because, with my headphones and body language, I give off a "don't grab my knitting" vibe; I rarely interact with other straphangers. I mean, granted, my Rules for Mass Transit are a bit neurotic and a little over the top, but they work for me. i didn' think that i'd ever need to add "don't grab shit outta other people's hands", that's one we all learned in Kindergarten, no?
* the NYC Bus/Subway Knitters and Crocheters
** There’s this really lovely woman I usually see on the express bus home who was fascinated when I was making my Wallaby, and every time she saw me she’d ask how it was coming along, until I finished it and showed her the pictures I’d posted online; she was equally fascinated by my CawfeeCozies. then there’s the other lady I see in the mornings who, one day, told me that she enjoyed watching me knit on the way into the city every morning; that it reminded her of her grandmother teaching her to knit, when she was a girl.
***just this morning, I was sitting on a bench, outside my office, when a woman walked up to me and told me how great she thought it was to see a man knitting; that her mother had taught her to knit and would be thrilled to see someone knitting on a park bench. She proceeded to tell me how great a job I was doing on the Cabled Laptop cover I was making, walked away, and then came back and asked me to talk to her mom, who was on her cell! They were both incredibly sweet and totally made my day!
Reading these stories, I was absolutely livid beyond words (though not so livid that I didn’t comment on their stories in much the same way I’m about to, here). I can’t imagine sitting on the train or bus, minding my own business, and having some random stranger take my knitting out of my hands, for whatever reason. I really think I’d punch someone if they tried to do that; just out of knee-jerk reactionary, gut instinct. you just don't do that in in New York city; that's how a bitch gets cut.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had people talk to me about my knitting while I’m on the bus or on the train** or even just out someplace***; it’s not every day that you see someone knitting in 2011, especially someone with a goatee. The difference is anyone who ever talked to me about my knitting tapped me on the shoulder or excused themselves for “bothering me”; if they wanted to see what I was working on (like the young lady from this morning), they asked to see it and then waited for me to hand it to them. Even the couple of women who offered advice or pointers didn’t try and take my knitting out of my hands.
Maybe it’s because I’m a guy; I don't think a woman would think about taking something (even knitting) out of a guy's hands (even a guy who knits hands); even when the guy looks like me. maybe it's because, with my headphones and body language, I give off a "don't grab my knitting" vibe; I rarely interact with other straphangers. I mean, granted, my Rules for Mass Transit are a bit neurotic and a little over the top, but they work for me. i didn' think that i'd ever need to add "don't grab shit outta other people's hands", that's one we all learned in Kindergarten, no?
* the NYC Bus/Subway Knitters and Crocheters
** There’s this really lovely woman I usually see on the express bus home who was fascinated when I was making my Wallaby, and every time she saw me she’d ask how it was coming along, until I finished it and showed her the pictures I’d posted online; she was equally fascinated by my CawfeeCozies. then there’s the other lady I see in the mornings who, one day, told me that she enjoyed watching me knit on the way into the city every morning; that it reminded her of her grandmother teaching her to knit, when she was a girl.
***just this morning, I was sitting on a bench, outside my office, when a woman walked up to me and told me how great she thought it was to see a man knitting; that her mother had taught her to knit and would be thrilled to see someone knitting on a park bench. She proceeded to tell me how great a job I was doing on the Cabled Laptop cover I was making, walked away, and then came back and asked me to talk to her mom, who was on her cell! They were both incredibly sweet and totally made my day!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Might I Have a Word?
So, as I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve become sort-of addicted to Words With Friends. I say sort-of, because despite the fact that I have eleven games going, with people from almost every facet of my life*, I think it’s a pretty healthy addiction.
When I was a kid, we had Family Game night, once every few weeks (and after dinner on major holidays). Often it was either Trivial Pursuit or Uno, but every once in a while it’d be Scrabble. Looking back, our games probably weren’t high scoring ones; I think we all wanted to put down a “good” word more than we wanted to maximize our points. I know that, for me, it was all about showing off my vocabulary. Winning was a happy accident and fifteen point words were the norm. It’s only now, almost twenty years later, that I realize that other people (read: everyone else who plays the game) are actually playing to win and the best way to do that is to get the most points for each word they put down. Yeah, I know, this seems elementary, but I never put the two things together until CawfeeMate, Breen Lantern and Magenta Sequins started laying down forty and fifty point words; doubling or tripling my score and beating me by one hundred and fifty points or more. CawfeeMate was nice enough to explain to me that while DJIN is a fun word, unless it’s on a double or triple word multiplier, it’s not worth putting on the board.
So, I learned strategy:
I also learned how frustrating electronic scrabble is:
All in all, though, I’m loving this game. I like being able to chat with people I don’t get to interact with, otherwise; it’s also makes a nice diversion from knitting straight through my daily commute to and from work and from work itself (where i can't knit). It’s also nice to know that even though certain players continue to kick my ass with 75 point words I’ve never seen, I can occasionally beat them (even if it is only one game out of every ten we play).
send me an invite, but be warned: now that i've got a strategy i'm a little harder to beat...until i get stuck with three I's a Q, Z, J & X again...
*High School classmates, former co-workers from my 1st Mall Job, current co-workers, Blog buddies, Facebook Friends, actual friends, and even friends & co-workers of CawfeeMate
When I was a kid, we had Family Game night, once every few weeks (and after dinner on major holidays). Often it was either Trivial Pursuit or Uno, but every once in a while it’d be Scrabble. Looking back, our games probably weren’t high scoring ones; I think we all wanted to put down a “good” word more than we wanted to maximize our points. I know that, for me, it was all about showing off my vocabulary. Winning was a happy accident and fifteen point words were the norm. It’s only now, almost twenty years later, that I realize that other people (read: everyone else who plays the game) are actually playing to win and the best way to do that is to get the most points for each word they put down. Yeah, I know, this seems elementary, but I never put the two things together until CawfeeMate, Breen Lantern and Magenta Sequins started laying down forty and fifty point words; doubling or tripling my score and beating me by one hundred and fifty points or more. CawfeeMate was nice enough to explain to me that while DJIN is a fun word, unless it’s on a double or triple word multiplier, it’s not worth putting on the board.
So, I learned strategy:
- always save your S’s
- build off the beginning or end of another word to get double the points
- sometimes it’s better to put down a 3 point word on this turn and let your opponent open up the path to the double word or triple letter multiplier
- if you have to swap out letters, it’s not worth swapping less than 5 (see #1)
- get rid of Qs, Js, Xs and Zs as soon as you can
I also learned how frustrating electronic scrabble is:
- QI, JO and XI have to be the most frustrating two letter words on the planet; almost nobody knows what they mean, but everyone uses them to unload those pesky letters that are otherwise impossible to use later in the game.
- The “random distribution” of letters is frequently debatable; I just went through a two week drought where, in almost every game I was playing, I never had fewer that either five vowels or five consonants and at least two sets of duped letters
- there are no two letter words that start with either the C or V
- I have no idea what dictionary the game uses, but I’d love to know how it defines words like JANE, TURFY, and RIAL.
- Some people cheat using other iPhone apps; those people never get a rematch.
All in all, though, I’m loving this game. I like being able to chat with people I don’t get to interact with, otherwise; it’s also makes a nice diversion from knitting straight through my daily commute to and from work and from work itself (where i can't knit). It’s also nice to know that even though certain players continue to kick my ass with 75 point words I’ve never seen, I can occasionally beat them (even if it is only one game out of every ten we play).
send me an invite, but be warned: now that i've got a strategy i'm a little harder to beat...until i get stuck with three I's a Q, Z, J & X again...
*High School classmates, former co-workers from my 1st Mall Job, current co-workers, Blog buddies, Facebook Friends, actual friends, and even friends & co-workers of CawfeeMate
Monday, July 11, 2011
My Semi-Annual Post
Wow. Another six months have gone by since I last blogged. Ain’t that some shit?
So what, you may ask, has happened in those last six months? Quite alot, actually, but here are some of thee highlights…
So what, you may ask, has happened in those last six months? Quite alot, actually, but here are some of thee highlights…
- CawfeeMate finally finished his doctorate in Physical Therapy, making him Dr. CawfeeMate DPT and me a ridiculously proud doctor’s wife. His graduation was marked by a trip to Phoenix, Arizona where I promptly fell in love with another city that is anywhere but New York.
- I finally finished my goddamn Wallaby, after about nine months and love how it came out! Somewhere around the six month mark I hit a proverbial snag and was left incredibly discouraged and frustrated. I put it down for about two months and then went back with fresh eyes and fingers (working on quite a few other projects in the interim). Its completion was a catalyst to broaden my repertoire and challenge my abilities within those categories. I now crank out socks, gloves, hats, coffee cup cozies and (my current piece) a laptop cover, in all sorts of stitch and cable patterns. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from The Yarn Girl, Magenta Sequins and YouTube. I’ve also begun to take requests from friends and family and have started making gifts for people other than CawfeeMate.
- My other great obsession, which rivals knitting, is Words With Friends on the iPhone. I’ve got eleven games going, at the moment, and usually spend half my commute (and part of the day), trying my best not to have my ass handed to me by the likes of Breen Lantern and Magenta Sequins. Luckily, Bri-the-Pie-Guy doesn't play.
- Very recently, I left the department which caused me nothing but heartache and misery for more than two years; choosing staying within the same company. this follows a huge bout of layoffs which pared down my old department to bare bones and had me working 60+ hours a week. So far, it’s been a better move for me, at least inasmuch as I finally get to spend time with CawfeeMate and Rufus. Plus, it’s great knowing that the job which I did now takes three people. I’m really looking forward to all the challenges that have come with the move.
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