"Do you hear that sound? That's your yarn...it's crying"~ Magenta Sequins

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Copy Catty (or An Open Letter to My Co-Workers)

Assholes,
we live in an age where almost everything we do is idiot proof. technology has evolved to include interactive instructions and error messages on almost every piece of office equipment; specifically the fax machine, copy machine and printer. in fact, all three of these machines have basically the same error message/instructions which pop up with a certain amount of regularity: "i'm outta paper", "i'm outta toner", and "i'm jammed dammit" and (i know for a fact) the copier and the printer have animated instructions on how to replace the paper and toner and where the jam is and how to fix it. remedying "problems" could not be made simpler without the addition of a "technician" (read: trained monkey with the ability to read and follow directions) sitting next chained to the machine.
yet, still, i find myself at the printer/fax/copy machine following the prompts and fixing messes left behind by you (all), on an almost hourly basis, only to discover that there is a backlog of prints/faxes/copies waiting in queue for someone to feed or burp the printer/copier/fax machine.

contrary to popular belief, i did not graduate from Apex Tech, i'm not in IT nor am i the Magical Office Hardware Repair Fairie. all i can do is read and follow a pictogram...that's the extent of my magical powers; consider my myth debunked.

i strongly suggest you teach your lazy selves to read and follow instructions. because, starting today, after i fix the printer/fax/copier i am throwing away all the stuff that isn't mine...consider yourselves warned.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so MY Fairie.
Besos, M

Thomas said...

Ha ha, I like turning off the machines and walking away when the lights go all wonky blinky.

ryan charisma said...

I'm like you in my office. I just can't belive all these hightly educated people can't un-jam a copier or replace toner.

I've already began just tossing everythign. But somehow I feel that these "educated" professionals think they're better than doing meanial tasks.

Do I smell another round of lay-offs?

Justin said...

You realize, of course, that the three most-oft heard words in my profession are "I can't print." Perhaps all you Luddite plebes will one day learn that often your own idiocy causes your most frequent problems. Kudos for David taking a stand against the tonerless horde.

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