Final Thought...

have fun...be careful...party your ass off...

with love,

David, Stephen and Rufus

Blah Humbug (or This is So Not the Post i Had Started Writing...) Pt 3: New Year's Eve is Not a Holiday

Somebody should really let the hammerheads at Atlantic Express know that there is no reason to run a holiday schedule on New Years Fuckin Eve.

the fact that i waited 20 minutes for a bus that never came and then waited another 20 minutes for an F train had me on the verge of a thrombosis. we're talking neck vein bulging, red-faced, fingers curled kinda frustration.

some people don't find this off-putting though, 'cause as i was waiting for the F train, an extremely attractive man started talking to me. he asked where i worked, said i looked like an accountant. then he asked if i had a business card. it wasn't until he had gotten on the 2nd D train and asked if i was sure i didn't want to give him my number that i realized he was hitting on me.

and here i thought he was just being chatty.

Test Day: Not All Men are From Mars

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

Blah Humbug (or This is So Not the Post i Had Started Writing...) Pt 2.

i get up early (5:25).
i leave the house early (5:55).
i get to the bus stop early (6:00).
the bus, however, is half an hour late.
i now get to 34th street in time to watch the orange F train disk float away into the tunnel.
15 minutes later the next one comes.
i'm now 45 minutes late for work and so unbelievably angry and frustrated that i want to cry.

Blah Humbug (or This is So Not the Post i Had Started Writing...)

i'm tired, whiney and terribly cranky, despite a relatively enjoyable holiday.
i can honestly say that i do not want to be at work today and actively despise those of you who are off.

i hope you all got argyle socks and Yanni CD's for Christmas.

tomorrow will be a much better post, i promise.

“... jealousy is an ugly thing; and so are you in anything backless.” ~ the Golden Girls (Sophia Petrillo)

Tumbleweeds Crickets and Candy Canes Pt 2: Eve of Destruction

almost totally alone in the blogverse (aside from BL).
outta here in 20 minutes and heading into Bensonhurst to meet Stephen; it's half-way to Long Island where we'll be having Christmas Eve dinner with his our family. for the last few hours, i've been getting texted reports of Christmas Eve Carnage from our house on Staten Island (ie. "the oven is set to 375 but is reading 410 and just twisted my ankle, broke the bathroom mirror and burned my hand). i can't imagine he'll be in a pleasant mood when we get together.

have a merry/happy/joyous/festive...whatever, kids

Latest DVD Obsession: Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

thanks Netflix!

3 Episodes in and here's what i've learned...

1. Gil Gerard was the hottest man in television in 1979. Lee Majors who? Tom Selleck what?

2. this was, basically, soft-core gay porn. between Gil/Buck's chest hair revealing shirts and skin tight pants, i don't know how this show stayed on the air as long as it did without being axed by the censors. sidenote: apparently bears were very well received in 1979's version of the 25th century. we're talking hairy chested, "regular guys", in every episode. woof.

3. Dr. Theopholis (the "Simon" looking computer which hangs around Tweekie's neck) was a big Mary. 1st episode: "you're an extremely attractive man, Buck", 'nuff said). concurrently, Tweekie is shaped like a penis.

4. Beautiful girl + Feathered hair+ lip gloss = evil

5. Erin Gray never has "helmet hair".

Make Up Test Day: Spirituality

Your Christmas Sprit Level: 60%

You have a lot of Christmas spirit, and it's evident to most people who know you. You love most things Christmas, and you do your best to make sure everyone has a great holiday. While you like the more commercial aspects of Christmas, you truly know what the spirit of Christmas is about. You're all about giving, being kind, and sharing the spirit of Christmas with everyone you know.

Do You Have the Christmas Spirit?

Behold!

my Red Velvet Christmas Cake with Creamcheese Frosting!

definitely not as fabulous as that hot little baldie from Ace of Cakes, or Bri-the-Pie-Guy, but still...it was a noble effort.

This Weeks Highlights...

1. Raise + Christmas bonus
2. Offer to become supervisor of my area
3. Office Christmas party
4. Four day weekend
5. Christmas shopping and wrapping: done!

Happy Friday Kids

blatantly stolen from Breen Lantern

Tumbleweeds Crickets and Candy Canes

nobody else seems to be posting or commenting.
i feel like the lone ranger.

did everyone start Christmas vacation early?

speaking of which i'm off tomorrow and Friday; it's a good thing, too, 'cuz tonight is the office Christmas party. guaranteed not to be nearly as much fun as Justin's, but i'm sure there will be tales to tell tomorrow...

Oops.

apparently we fucked up our Comments preferences.
it's been fixed. sorry.
please feel free to unload your thoughts (especially on our cookies).

~the Management

Santa Paws

i would love to show you a picture of Rufus, dressed in the disgustingly adorable Santa suit that his auntie Michele (aka MS) sent in the mail.

i would love to tell you how wonderfully cute he looked and how well behaved he was while we were putting it on him.

i'd love to tell you that we got some really good pictures which we're rushing to turn into our 2007 Christmas card.

i'd love to tell you all of these things, but i can't.

the little bastard fought and growled and nipped and tugged for 20 minutes; absolutely obsessed with the white fur on the collar and cuffs, and in the end the 2.5 lb tazmanian devil won.

Sorry MS we can't all have puppies as into christmas as yours.
next year he's getting some eggnog laced with doggie tranquilizers 1st.

David's Cookies

it's sad that my greatest sense of personal accomplishment, lately, comes from being able to make the cookies, shown above, from scratch.
since i was a little kid, both Italian Lemon Drops and Seven Layer cookie have been my favorite. i never knew that people could actually make them at home; or that i could make them.

Ho-Ho-HOLD UP Pt. 3: Let the Music Play Pt. 3

I'm not sure what the best part of KT Tunstall's Christmas EP (Have Yourself a Very KT Christmas) is:

1) the fact that she sounds like a 17 year old boy whose voice changed last week.
2) her version of Melle Kalikimaka, while nowhere near as fabulous as Bette Midler's, has both a kazoo chorus and a xylophone it it, thereby making it pretty damn cool in its own right.
3) She's got the only Christmas song with the word "scumbag" in it.

No matter how you slice it, it was $7 well spent.

Christmas is a Time to Say: I'm a Wino

Justin, John's boyfriend, threw the most fabulous Christmas party on Saturday night. naturally, John played hostess. the food was great, the guests were fabulous, and the wine was dangerously fantastic. a little too fantastic.

we got there at 7, by 8 i had a buzz on. by the time we left at 1, i couldn't feel my own teeth. i was barely concious on the ride home. the only thing that kept me...afloat...was the unbearable feeling of having to pee. i actually made stephen pull over on Rt 280 so i could. yup, i'm a classy married lady.

i can honestly say i've never had more fun at an Uncle Fezziwig-esque gathering, though. kudos to you, Justin.

Test Day: What Christmas Means to CawfeeGuy

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about celebration. You enjoy all the fun and fellowship that the holidays bring. You celebrate the holidays in a offbeat style. You believe the holidays are for doing whatever you feel like - and some of your "traditions" are pretty wacky. During the holidays, you like to feel cozy and comfortable. You're happy to stay inside with a roaring fire and a warm drink. You think the holidays should be decadent and indulgent. You never mind gaining a few holiday pounds... it's worth it! Your favorite holiday memories strongly evoke your senses. You are vividly aware of all the tastes, smells, and sounds of the holidays.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

Star Struck Pt. 5: Once Again, the Universe Plays Bitchslap the Leo

Leo: Why ask everyone you see their opinion when you've already decided you're going to do exactly what you want in the end?

if it wasn't so dead-on-balls accurate, i'd be really offended.

Test Day: See? Practical

You Are a Practical Gift Giver

Your gifts are useful, appropriate, and custom tailored to each person.In your opinion, the best gifts are gifts that someone will actually use.Your gifts may not be the most glamourous, but they are always appreciated.

What Kind of Gift Giver Are You?

Sometimes I Swear I'm Adopted 2: Today's Horoscope

Leo: Festering over an upsetting phone call or letter distracts you from what you really need to be doing, get an action plan!

Sometimes I Swear I'm Adopted

CawfeeGuy's Dad: (answering cell phone) Hello?
CawfeeGuy: hi dad.
CGD: Who's this?
CG: David...your other son.
CGD: Heh-heh! What's going on?
CG: are you home?
CGD: no.
CG: Ok good...which pieces of Spode* has mom been looking for; what's she missing?
CGD: Um...well...i can't talk now.
(in the background)
CawfeeGuy's Mom: (laughs)is that my son? Is he calling you about me?
CGD: yeah. he wants to know which pieces of Spode you want for Christmas.
CG: What?!? DAD?!? JESUS! THANKS ALOT! (hangs up and pitches a fit)

i wound up getting her these:


*my mom has been collecting Spode's Christmas Tree pattern since before i was born. As of now she has service for twelve plus, about, 30 other pieces (ie. serving bowls, candy dishes, salt and pepper shakers, etc) and is always looking for other "odd pieces". it's the closest thing our family has to heirlooms.

An Open Letter to the New York Metro and A.M New York Newspapers

To Whom It May Concern:
I’d like to bring to your attention, what I believe is, a disturbing phenomenon that I’ve come to associate with your respective newspapers.

Every day I commute from Staten Island to Manhattan and then to Downtown Brooklyn. Every day, without fail, I’m accosted (literally) by some scary, dirty, muppet-eyed, quasi-homeless looking person, wearing a smock emblazoned with either of your logos, attempting to give me a free copy of your publications. Said representatives are extraordinarily pushy and often stand at the exit for the express bus, brandishing your newspapers. Once past these periodical wielding harpies, I encounter and additional set, inside the subway station and then, again, when I exit the train in Brooklyn. By the time I reach my office I feel like a b-list celebrity, having just left rehab, dodging the paparazzi. My morning commute is stressful enough, without having to worry about jackals descending on me like a wounded gazelle.

To be honest, I don’t think I’d mind saying “no thanks” as much if your paper-pushers didn’t look quite so much like the homeless people that I had just declined while on the train. Call me old fashioned or classist, but I prefer to accept things easier from people who don’t look like they’ll be sleeping under the newspapers they don’t give out that day.

Because of this, I don’t think I’ll ever accept a copy of either of your newspapers, despite their being free. Perhaps you should reconsider your marketing/distribution policies. Perhaps you should rethink whom you give your smocks to.

sincerely,
Cawfeeguy

Tuesday's Pre-Dawn Highlight

Standing on the downtown F train platform, at 34th and Broadway, watching a homeless man fill a Snapple bottle with urine.

Don't ask what he did with the bottle when he was done.

i Y NY

Miss Kitty

little Miss Frangelica is gonna WORK the runway (ok...she's gonna crawl with attitude):

thank you Baby Gap.
(and yes MS, i was totally thinking of you when i bought this stuff)

Sweeney Sisters

now this is what Christmas means to me.

As Seen On My Starbucks Cup...

"Hold the door for somebody laden with packages. Serve hot chocolate and coffee to passing carolers. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Or do something nice for somebody you don't even know. When you pass the cheer through the little moments like this, you create warmth that outshines the brightest holiday lights".

in 31 years, i've never seen a caroler.
do they have them outside New York? is that really something that people do; walk around the neighborhood singing Christmas carols? i think they'd be stoned in Brooklyn (and i don't mean "stoned", like "don't bogart that 'yule log', man").

Test Day: Frosty the Know Man

You Know a Lot About Christmas

You got 9/10 correct You know tons about the history and traditions surrounding Christmas. When you celebrate the holidays, you never forget their true meaning - or all the little fun details. Random Christmas fact: "Silent Night" was originally played on guitar.

How Much Do You Know About Christmas?

Weight a Minute 4: Ho-Ho-Hold On

screw weight watchers.
it's only 10 lbs.
i still feel great. i just don't have the patience right now.
i'll go back after the holidays, i swear.

19 Days Till Christmas Pt 2: Itinerary 1.0 (or the 5 Day forecast)

Thursday (12/6): Haircut @ 8pm
Friday (12/7): finish cataloging comics; Christmas lights.
Saturday (12/8): make cookie doughs; decorate tree.
Sunday (12/9): bake cookies; write out Christmas cards.
Monday (12/10): mail cards. make calls about selling comics.

19 Days Till Christmas: To Do List

1. Christmas Cards
2. Christmas Cookies (lemon drops, chocolate chip (2 batches), cream cheese/jelly filled, italian 7 layers, maybe brown sugar cut-outs)
3. Decorations (inside only)
4. Lights (upstairs window only)
5. Finish Shopping (Secret Santa from work, John, Justin, Frangelica, Jenn, Brian, in-laws, & Rufus)
6. Assemble and trim tree
7. Wrap Gifts
8. Cake for Christmas Eve at in-laws (Red Velvet with Cream cheese Icing)

Taking Over

here's the puppy's living space:

see? he's taken over our living room.

the Latest Project(s)

whereas i'd rather spend our evenings, this week, writing out the christmas cards i bought this past weekend (keep an eye on your mailbox, kids)...stephen has worn me down, finally, and last night we began cataloging my comic book collection with the hopes of selling them to a comic shop this coming weekend.

rifling through the huge crates i've amassed since high school (4 huge crates with about 500 books, total), was definitely nostalgic . i can't tell you the number of hours i spent, in my room, reading comics, bagging them and painstakingly checking them in the price-guides. having to get rid of them definitely hurts, but it's all part of the same practical actions of married life. they're taking up valuable space in our 3rd floor loft and (to be quite honest) i've not looked them since we moved in together 3 years ago (and probably a few years before that).

if you're interested, let me know and i'll send you the list.

in other news, i'm heading back to Weight Watchers this week.
yeah, i've been off the wagon since the wedding and it's time i climb back on (before the new clothes i bought no longer fit). i was using "the holidays" as an excuse, but i realize that's all they are: an excuse. there's no reason i can't go back to monitoring my intake, the way i was. while it won't be fun turning down the cookies and candy that are proffered throughout the season, i will survive.

i'll be honest, i never "suffered" on WW like some people seem to. i'm clearly not meant to live at 175 lbs without...help...i know i have the self-control and determination, so the 10 lbs should fall off in a few weeks.

Faux Fir

for the 1st time ever, i have a fake christmas tree.

i'm not happy about it.

see, right now the puppy is taking up alot of room (yes, i know he's not even 3lbs, but he's got a pen and a crate and a wee-wee-pad holder, so that little dust puppy takes up about half the living room). whatever space he's not taking up is made up with furniture. big, heavy, pine furniture.

this does not leave alot of room for a normal sized christmas tree. So, in an effort to still maintain our christmas traditions, we went to Target yesterday and bought a 4', pre-lighted, table-top tree.

we always had a real tree when i was a kid. it was one of those things that really meant christmas to me; going to a tree lot and picking one out, tying it to the roof of the car and driving home. the smell that would linger in the house till the holiday was over, mingled with the holiday candles (bayberry and apple), is a vivid sensory memory from my childhood. yes we lived in brooklyn, in an apartment, but we had that piece of "country christmas" in our living room. i always felt bad when i'd walk into a friend's house and they had a fake tree.

i'm pretty sure we won't be able to fit all our ornaments on it, but it's better than no tree at all, i guess. plus, at least there won't be any poisoned water for the puppy to slurp or a tree on the floor for him to pee on. and yes, i'll admit, that it'll be nice not to be vacuuming up needles in august and not worry about my husband knocking the fully decorated tree over while trying to fill the water trough (like last year). a table-top tree is far more practical than a real one. there's also no worry of it bursting into flames or dying a week before christmas (like last year's). yup, definitely more practical.

i guess that's what happens when you get older and married; you get practical. i just hope it doesn't mean you have to give and receive practical gifts, like socks and undershirts. that would really suck.