1 Month 19 Days: It's My Reception and I'll Be Neurotic If I Want To

nobody's coming to the wedding.
okay maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but that's how i feel.
even the people who i know for certain are coming (ie. my parents, Jenn, and John) have not replied. we sent 40 invitations out 2 weeks ago and have only received 7 RSVP's back; the fact that they were all affirmative responses is completely irrelevant. the point is, why have we only gotten back seven responses?

don't our friends/relatives know that i scamper to the mailbox every day on the way home from the bus or the crushing sense of disappointment i feel, when all that's there is the ValPack and some bills? i guess not. i guess they're also not aware that when the mailbox comes across empty i completely regress to some strange childhood memory where nobody came to my 10th birthday party after my mother (who looks an awful lot like Jodie Foster) and i carefully made up invitations and decorated our ramshackle apartment...ok fine that's not really my memory, but i have seen Little Man Tate enough to identify with how awful it must've felt. Yup, i'm still that insecure.

i even confided in stephen the other night (actually i just started yelling Seven People! Only Seven People?!? That's IT?!?) and in true stephen fashion, he calmly explained that it's normal to receive all the RSVPs the week they're due.

i don't know if i can handle that.