Sit for a Spell

i have a confession to make: i'm a terrible speller. yup, it's true; i can't spell for shit. in grammar school (**shudder**), i was always one of the 1st kids down during St. Frances Cabrini's bi-monthly Spelling Bees and cheated,more than once, during our weekly spelling tests. at least once a day i find myself singing the little ditties i learned, in my head to help remember how to spell words like "receive" (i before e except before c or when sounding like a as in "neighbor" and "weigh"). if that doesn't work, i rely heavily on my old pal, the greatest invention of the 20th century: Spellcheck.
i'm really convinced that every program where one enters text should have some sort of built-in/mandatory spellcheck, because even though i am a terrible speller, when other people spell words incorrectly, it drives me absolutely nuts. now don't think i'm some sort of word Nazi (ok i am, but let me continue anyway), i'm not talking about misusing words (ie. typos or where you write one word instead of another), i mean blatant and egregious butchering of the word itself. the misuse of homophones, though...that drives me nuts.

back when i was an AOL trollop (about 4 years ago, BS: Before Stephen), if i was chatting with a guy (whether as a potential hook-up or just a friendly how-do-you-do) and he had the communication skills of a Third Worlder, it was an instant no-go (unless his picture made "communication" a non-Issue but that's a different post). now, i look around and am utterly appalled at how poorly people write. the department in which i work requires us to post notes on the clients' accounts, depending on what we're doing with them. during the course of my day i read about 150+ notes written by my colleagues. i can't even begin to tell you how poorly some of them (specifically TNG and Dummy) write. 80% of the time they're completely unintelligible. how they've survived in the company for more than 10 years is amazing. not that it's better in other companies. it's amazing how much paperwork and e-mail i receive where words are misspelled or the instructions are just completely incomprehensible. it's utterly embarrassing to think who's acting as a representative for our company. i'm a bad speller, but you'd never know. why? Outlook has Spellchek built in people, it only takes a minute; use it!

i have a credo that i've kept to since i started writing back in kindergarten, one which i'd like to put on a t-shirt or cross-stitch on a pillow: If You Can't Spell the Word, Use a Different One. is that harsh? maybe, but it's how i feel. it's the same with poor grammar and malapropism. we live a country where education isn't just available to all, it's compulsory. there's absolutely no excuse for the inability to communicate an idea, using words.

"A linguistic form that can meaningfully be spoken in isolation/Conversation, expression, a promise, a sigh/In short, a lie/A message from heaven, a signal from hell/I give you my word I'll never tell/Language that is used in anger/Personal feelings signaling danger/A brief remark, an utterance, information/Don't mince words, don't be evasive/Speak your mind, be persuasive/A pledge, a commitment, communication, words"~ Words (Madonna)