Things That Make a Comic/Game Geek Sweat

this game looks absolutely amazing.
sadly, i don't see anything about whether it's available on Wii...yet.

Test Day: Briefly

Your Underwear Says You're Too Sexy For Them!

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble! Your idea job: gigolo. Or naked cowboy.

The Underwear Oracle

Test Day: Tough Cookie

You Are Traditional and Dependable

You are optimistic, friendly, and cheerful. People appreciate the hopefulness and good vibes you bring to any situation. You are hungry. For food, yes. But more than anything, you are hungry for power. You're easy going and easy to be around. You aren't picky or high maintenance. You seek security in your life. Feeling safe is important to you.

The Sandwich Cookie Personality Test

Thursday Cop Out or 25 Things You May (or May Not) Know About Me

i got this from Facebook, last night, and while i usually don't go in for this sort of thing i thought i'd give it a shot. the 1st 25 are from the original FB post (and are edited, slightly, to fit my format here), 26+ i'll be updating throughout today.
if you wanna take the ball and run with it, it's up to you as i do not "tag" people on my blog; though most of the people who read my blog have done this at one time or another.

1. i spent more than half my life in Catholic school where the only things i learned were how to write pretty well, how to turn an F in gym into a P and how much i dislike organized religion.
2. i hate cats.
3. i've only kissed 2 girls (both of whom i still love, very much and both of whom i see quite often, but not as often as i wished)
4. i'm a Buffy fan by conversion; the 1st time around, i scoffed just like everybody else, now i'm hooked.
5. i'm glad i'll never have kids of my own.
6. i used to be allergic to chocolate and oranges.
7. i played little league baseball for many years and hated almost every minute of it.
8. i always wished i'd learned to play a musical instrument or to sing.
9. i've got four tattoos and am seriously considering number five.
10. i'm color blind; can't differentiate between shades of red, green and brown. blue and purple sometimes fuck with me too.
11. if i suddenly became ridiculously rich, i'd open a joint bookstore/cafe, and buy a slightly bigger house with stephen's dream bathroom and a library for me.
12. i got my nipple pierced in college. just one. worst pain ever, so i never went to get the other one done.
13. the day stephen and i got married (the 1st time) was the happiest day of my life and every day since has been pretty damn swell.
14. i can't dance but wish to god i could.
15. i'm scared of bugs, clowns and bridges.
16. my favorite color is blue...almost any shade.
17. i've never had a cavity, broken a bone or spent more than a few hours in the hospital (for serious head wounds).
18. i'm running out of things to write.
19. i listen to music from the time i wake up till i walk through the door from work (and sometimes till i go to bed). club music, pop music, broadway musicals; all kinds of music.
20. at work, i'm the go-to guy for useless information and facts about things like manatees.
21. i've been known to communicate with several of my friends using only movie quotes and song lyrics for hours at a time.
22. i'm very easily intimidated by people i think are smarter and/or better looking than i.
23. i've worn glasses since 6th grade and would never get lasik surgery.
24. i've been to paradise but i've never been to me.
25. i wish i'd come out earlier.
26. left to my own devices, i'd probably be about 250 lbs.
27. i sometimes wish i was born about 20 years earlier so i could've been a part of the 70's and 80's...but if i was i'd probably be dead by now.
28. i have 3 books of poetry i wrote throughout college and beyond, that i've been told is really good, and would love to get published somewhere.
29. i never tried to get it publised because i'm scared of the rejection process.
30. i'm very embarassed by compliments and never know what to say when i receive them (since i tend not to believe them).
31. i've never had a nickname.
32. i've never never tried drugs.

Who's On Third

this whole Facebook thing is oddly addictive.

first i David was intrigued with finding the guys i he went to high school with (for those who don't know, i David went to an all boys catholic school). Granted, the ones i he found i he was neither terribly fond of nor friendly with, but it was nice, still, to see how they held up to the sands of time. pretty well, as a matter of fact (but, then, it has only been 15 years).

then it was the cornucopia of "applications" which sucked me him in; zombies and vampires and race cars; snowball fights and drinks and quizzes galore. the more people you sucked in, the more "unlockables" you got. the more unlockables...well i he has no idea what happens next, because after a month i David threw up his his hands and got rid of 90% of the nonsense apps which were constantly begging his his attention. he David no longer send out requests nor accept them, just so's you know...

next i David found/was found by a couple of people from grammar school (most notably, the girl who he David had a crush on for most of my his pre-adolescence). here's where it got more interesting. see, most of these people i've he's not seen since 1990 and it's amazing how much people can change in 19 years. Just like the HS guys, finding people with whom i he shared K thru 8th grade became somewhat of a hobby...like Pokeman or Magic: the Gathering...gotta collect 'em all. but, like with the guys from HS, the conversation tends to peter out after "hey! long time no see! what've you been up to"?

my David's newest Facebook "obsession", if you will, is updating my his status...constantly. everytime a thought pops into my his head, it winds up being texted to Facebook, to update my his status. or song lyrics; much like Twitter, i he's very fond of statusing song lyrics. the problem is that status updates are in the 3rd person and such language is highly addictive and incredibly irritating to anyone listening/reading because of its inherent pomposity.

if you're reading this, you've probably noticed.

please accept my David's humblest apologies. i'm he's working on a cure.

"David was born in the wagon of a traveling show, his mama used to dance for the money they'd throw. Papa would do whatever he could. Preach a little gospel, sell a couple bottles of Dr. Good"~ status update 1/21/2009 @ 1:28pm

3 Words

Awesome Fucking Weekend.

highlights:

• pool with MS & Dug (Saturday).
• lunch at Pasticceria Bruno (Sunday).
• Target shopping trip (Saturday).
• found a friend from college i've not seen since 1995, on Facebook (Saturday).
• 48+ hours with the huz who was in an unusually good mood all weekend.
• according to the WiiFit, i'm the thinnest i've been in months.
• according to Stephen, i'm the fittest i've looked...ever.

Sit Yo Ass Down...

as i've mentioned, the huz and i are re-doing our master bathroom (i use the term very loosely, as the bathroom in question is, roughly, the size of large phonebooth). we're going whole hog on this endeavour; top to bottom, tiles to high-hats. i won't bore you with all the details (yet), but wanted to discuss, at least to me, the pinnacle of ridiculousness luxury: the bidet toilet seat.


this bad boy comes with a remote control, a light, and will wash, dry, fluff and fold you for the bargain price of almost $500. did you get that? $500 for a fucking toilet seat (i guess these are what they use in the military). honestly, when Stephen told me he wanted one i thought he was joking, but it turned out he wasn't. his "dream bathroom" comes complete with one of these and as long as i can turn it off, i'm fine with it. i mean, i don't think i'd be able to stand the shock of a late night stumble into the bathroom, followed by the shock of being hit with a Super Soaker...

When Aarron Tells Me to "Picture Your Ideal Body", This Is It...

and he can sing, too! check out his new single...

Test Day: What Else Goes Better With CawfeeGuy?

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and you pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

My Review of DEPRESSION GLASS EARRINGS

Originally submitted at UncommonGoods

Reclaimed from the broken remains of a vintage cake plate (pink) and a cookie jar (green), this delicate and lovely glass was made in great quantities during the 1930s and 40s, and is now known as Depression glass. A beautiful link to the past, the glass is salvaged from the Pennsylvania Amish Cou...

DEPRESSION GLASS EARRINGS

Love 'Em to Bits...BUT...

By CawfeeGuy from Staten Island/Brooklyn, New York on 1/22/2009

 

4out of 5

Gift: Yes

Pros: Gorgeous, Stunning, Dazzles, Versatile

Cons: Fall Off Easily

Best Uses: Night Out, Casual, Everyday

Describe Yourself: Stylish, Modern

i got them for my mom and she LOVED them (she's been collecting depression glass for years)! she had them on for less than a day, while out shopping, and received numerous compliments; by the time she had returned home, they had BOTH fallen out of her ears! no backing on such a brilliant piece of jewelry is a serious design flaw...

(legalese)

Big Tall Man~ Liz Phair

I'm a big, tall man
I cut the grass
My left eye hurts
I am waiting and reading parts
I can be a complicated communicator

Yes I'm winning
Spinning
I feel energy bein' pulled off from all sides
And it feels good
Like relieving a headache.

Zeus and Athens
Florida driveway
Asphalt and tires
Sand and the beach,
Rocker panel
Headlights in the dark...
I'm drag racing
Drag

Fog and the distance beyond it
Boats and the quiet morning noises
I'm walking the shoreline
A beer and a cigarette
A bug with twitching antennae
A button up short-sleeved shirt

Yes, I'm careening down!
Winding the canyons, now!
Yes, I am broadcasting myself!

an Open Letter to the Big Fat Guy With Whom I "Shared" a Seat This Morning on the Bus

1st off i hope you don't mind being referred to as "the big fat guy", but let's call a spade a spade, y'ain't exactly Jack Skellington ain'cha? And no, neither am i, however my 42" shoulders and 34" ass were dwarfed by your 54" barrel shape which took up 80% of the two Nederlander Theater sized seats we were forced to share. i feel a certain kinship to you, especially since i used to be quite a bit plumper; this kinship allows me to address you by the common nickname we have both shared at some point in our lives. the "big", come from fact that you were, easily, 6'3" and that ain't tiny. Anyhoo...
While you had your eyes closed for the majority of our 35 minute trip together (i'm not sure if you were snoring or just breathing phlegmy) i'm sure you must've noticed, at some point, that my upper body was bent at a distressing 45^o angle over the armrest, into the aisle. see, that was a result of your elbows jutting out as they rested comfortably on your tool bag. i'm glad you were comfortable enough to either actually or pretend to sleep, 'cuz i wasn't. partly because i was "reaching across the aisle" with my face and partly because, you were giving off the body heat comparable to crematorium furnace and i was sweating like Catholic priest at a Cub Scout pool party.



i guess this is what happens when you get on at the 2nd to last stop of the bus's run and beggars can't be choosers, but tomorrow i hope i'll be able to find a seat next to someone else. Or that you've worked out that you clearly don't want to share a seat and should, probably, sit on the aisle yourself and not give the impression that there's more room than there is. see, i'm pretty sure that most people won't want to be pressed between the window of the bus and a wall oven...

CawfeeGuy Appreciation Day

ok...not really...but yesterday i had my review/interview with Cunty and Zeus and was told , in no uncertain terms, how much i was valued as an employee ("exceptional" was the word they used **pause for applause**).
it made me happy, 'cuz i only hear about it once day a year, for 15 minutes. the rest of the year goes by with my workplace contributions unnoticed or unacknowledged. you'd think after 5 years hear i'd be used to it, but no; i still lap it up and get ferklempt every time they tell me what a great job i'm doing, nodding and thanking them profusely and then stagger back to my desk, reeling from the onslaught of praise. yesterday was no different; by the time i got back to my desk i was almost in tears and barely able to speak. of course that may have been because of the incredibly sweet and unexpected raise and bonus...

Just Another Manic Monday Tuesday

"my" bus never came.
15 minutes later, the next bus flew past without so much as a Fuck You Asshole.
i have no cash on me and had to pay for my coffee with change from the bottom of my bag.
now i'm sitting here sorting through all the faxes and e-mails i missed from Friday.
i shoulda stayed in bed.

Test Day: IHOC (International House of CawfeeGuy)

You Are Blueberry Pancakes

You prefer flavorful, fresh foods that are well seasoned. You shy away from anything plain or overcooked. It's not likely someone would find a lot of cheap convenience foods in your kitchen. Instead, someone might find a wide array of spices, herbs, and flavorings.

What Kind of Pancakes Are You?

yup, even when i'm off from work, i still look to entertain my fan(s). have a great weekend all!

Blogger's Block Day 2 or It's Cold and Snowy and Genarally Gross Outside...

but i've got Colton Ford to keep me warm.

Blogger's Block or I Got Nuthin, So Happy Hump Day

Little Victories

so...it's been a grueling 19 days since i opened up the wii fit box and began subjecting myself to Hiroshima's Revenge (35 minutes a day, seven days a week).
My body has definitely begun changing. i feel stronger and more "fit". mind you, i ain't ready to jump hurdles or do pull ups, but whereas a month ago i couldn't do a push up, i can now do at least ten without wishing i was dead. the yoga has gotten infinitely easier and far more enjoyable and i also almost don't mine listening to Evil Aarron tell me how shaky i am while doing the Tree pose. i'm not gonna lie, blasting club music helps, since it drowns the littel fucker out...

it's also been two weeks since i started back on WW with 95% of the religious fervor that i had 2 years ago, when i was attempting to slim down for our wedding. surprisingly, the weight loss is a little slow going this time around, though one would think the WW/WF combo would be blasting the fat off my ass like fire hose knocking crows off a phoneline.
maybe it's the 5% of sinning that's slowing everything down. maybe Stephen is right (like he's ever wrong) and i'm actually building muscle and firming up and retaining water from all this exercising i haven't done since...well...ever. and since muscle is denser(? more dense?) than fat, i may be losing the weight (read: fat) but at the same time i'm building muscle, so it all kinda balances out. all i know is that i'm hungry, all the time and haven't had an occasion where, at the end of the night, i'm standing in the kitchen wondering how i'm going to fit another 10 points in before Desperate Housewives is over, since i jumped on this Weight Loss Wagon. could it be that i now have the metabolism of a human being, instead of a sea slug?

it's never easy, though...last night, while watching Buffy (Sunnydale High was gearing up for the Sadie Hawkins Dance and strange things were afoot!), stephen decided to whip up a post-dinner batch of Velveeta Cheesy Salsa and pulled out a bag of Tostitos' Hint of Lime Tortilla Chips. Well, lemme tell ya, if ever there was a red light food which pushes me to black out and wake up with crumbs in my beard, it's Velveeta Cheesy Salsa and Chips. i sweated, i salivated, i glared, i watched every bite he took; i sat there, arms crossed, and didn't touch a drop.

half an hour after he had finished, i stamped my feet and demanded he acknowledge my enormous self control. see? i'm shrinking and growing, all at the same time!

Test Day: In a Word

Your Word is "Love"

You see life as possibility to form deep connections with a few people. Relationships are the center of your world, and you always take time to bond with those you love. You are caring and giving. You enjoy helping those you love. And when it comes to romantic love, you feel passionately ... even in a very long term relationship.

What's" Your Word?

Conversation of the Day

Bland But Sweet Straight Guy Co-Worker: y'know who i always had a crush on?

CawfeeGuy: no, who?

BBSSGCW: Marisa Tomei

CG: Aw! i love her! she needs to do more movies!

BBSSGCW: actually, i just saw her in the Wrestler, this weekend.

CG: Really? Wow, that's great! was she good in it?

BBSSGCW: Oh yeah! She shows full frontal!

Rock Bland

the only thing that could possibly make me loathe the Beatles' music more is a video game featuring their music. i'm queasy at the thought of it.

Wednesday Morning Wetness

it's wet outside, this morning; like, Atlantis kinda wet. it's been raining since yesterday afternoon (it was supposed to be snow and aren't we all glad it ain't) and sometime around midnight (i'd only been asleep for an hour but it felt like 3...thanks Wii Fit), i woke up and thought about how much i didn't wanna come in to work today; i then rolled over, spooned with stephen under the 4" thick comforter and fell back to sleep. the feeling didn't much abate when my alarm went off at 5:15, nor when i was standing at the bus stop. it wasn't gone by the time i hit 34th and trudged into the subway, nor when i stood outside the Man in the Box waiting for my coffee.

it's still no different now that i'm sitting at my desk contemplating what's before me, but the coffee is deliciously strong and hot (much like our Hump Day model, on the left), i've got a Kashi bar in my man-bag and Rufus Wainwright is providing a nice alliterative soundtrack to what's sure to be a long, dark and dull day.

"People will know when they see this show/The kind of a guy I am/They'll recognize just what I stand for and what I just can't stand/They'll perceive what I believe in/And what I know is true/And they'll recognize I'm a one man guy Always was through and through "~ One Man Guy (Rufus Wainwright)

Musical Mondays: the Sisters Are Doing It for Themselves

Covers of the Smiths, Blondie, Gloria Gaynor, the Bangles, Beyonce and more; then there are the standards! Amazing! Andrew Sisters who? Ruth Etting what?

my official favorites albums of January. thanks iTunes!

"Wow. I used to like this song...and this one...and that one..."~ Stephen

Friday Morning Quandary

how is it that i've been working out for over a week and back on Weight Watchers since monday, yet somehow i've gained weight? i feel like edina fucking monsoon...or oprah bloody winfrey.

"My body absorbs mud! Every pore is now an overeater"~ Death (Edina Monsoon)

Test Day: Feels Like I'm Going To Lose My Mind

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame! When you're up, you're a little bit crazy... And when you're down, your whole world is crashing Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?