a Valentine's Day Fairy's Tale

Once upon a time there was a boy...we'll call him KoolAidBoy (again). KoolAidBoy always hated Valentine's Day. Why, you ask? because every Valentine's Day that he could remember seemed like an exercise in humiliation. like all the other kids at St. Frances Cabrini Elementary School, a couple of weeks before V-Day he'd pick out a box of cards to give to each of his 39 class mates, usually featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts. a couple of days before, he'd sit down and write them out, saving his favorite card, with Snoopy and Woodstock hugging on the front, for the girl he loved: Alyson (yup, with a Y). she was pretty and quiet and had the nicest hair of all the girls; and was French (not from France, but she was descended from French people; that made her so much more exotic in a neighborhood of mostly Italian and a couple of Irish kids). she also didn't know he was alive. well, she knew, but she didn't exactly care. Anyway, Valentines Day would arrive and every year it was the same thing:

the teacher would have her Mailbox all set up and all the kids would drop there cards in. then someone would be chosen "mailman" (usually the teacher's favorite student: the abnormally tall and brainy buck-toothed girl with the braces and heavy Italian accent). not everyone subscribed to the notion that everyone should get a card and only got cards for their immediate circle of friends, so it really was quite interesting to watch who got cards and who didn't. Every year, KoolAidBoy watched as Alyson tore into her cards while eating her little candy hearts and Enteman's sugar topped cupcake. not once did she even blink when she got to the Snoopy and Woodstock card (the one that came to symbolize a deep and meaning full love, a love for all the ages); it was just tossed in the pile with the rest.

every.
year.

KoolAidBoy came to associate Valentine's Day with this same level of rejection and being ignored, well into his early 20's (tricks and hook-ups tend to look at you funny when you ask if they would be your Valentine) and even went on an Anti-Valentine's Day Ski trip with two of his favorite girl-friends, in college (they never made it to the slopes, just sat around drinking and smoking and hating guys who didn't ask them to be their Valentines).

his 1st real Valentine was a boy he had met online and had become fast friends with. they both worked in the mall, a couple of stores from each other, and would spend equal amounts of time running back and forth. by the time V-Day rolled around, it was candy and a Tinky Winky doll. KoolAidBoy was so happy when the feelings were returned! a week or two later, KoolAidBoy met his 1st boyfriend (VegetarianDelawareBoy), and the quasi-romantic vibe between him and his mall buddy morphed into friendship (one that's spanned almost 10 Valentines Days). he remained KoolAidBoy's only Valentine till KoolAidBoy met a guy with who came to be known only as Shithead. it need not be mentioned that Shithead was a lousy Valentine.

then KoolAidBoy met a guy. this guy (who we'll refer to as SexyShavedHeadGuy) swept him off his feet for three consecutive Valentine's Days: romantic dinners, flowers, a trip to DC and finally an engagement ring. KoolAidBoy (now KoolAidGuy) was...is...completely head-over-heels in love. SexyShavedHeadGuy makes every day feel like Valentine's Day.

KoolAidGuy does have one regret, though:

he wasted all those Snoopy and Woodstock cards on some silly faux French girl.

"They say that bears have love affairs...we're merely mammals...let's misbehave"~Let's Misbehave (Cole Porter)