"Do you hear that sound? That's your yarn...it's crying"~ Magenta Sequins

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

An Open Letter to That Guy From the Bus

though you and i have never exchanged two words, i know that you know who i am. we see each other every morning on the X24 from Staten Island to midtown Manhattan. i usually get on after you (the second to last stop) and sit a seat or two behind you, as you tend to sit in the 1st few rows; always on the aisle. i've seen you sullenly ignore people when they ask to sit in the seat next to you, by the window, and once even ask a guy if he was kidding. i gather that you're not a morning person and don't, particularly, like to share. hey, whatever makes your morning work, right?

what i don't quite understand is why you jump in front of me, every morning, just before we get to 34th street and Broadway. i've seen you scope me out, out of the corner of your eye, and step into the aisle just as i get to your seat. every morning. mind you, if you wanna be the 1st one off the bus, i say "knock yourself out". it's really neither here nor there. i'm more interested in the look of determination on your face, when you step in front of me. i noticed this morning that you let someone else step to the front, but still stepped in front of me when i got up. i dunno, maybe i'm paranoid or petty, but repeating patterns tend to fascinate me.

i'm fine with your need to be the 1st off the bus, it's not in my nature to be so competitive. quite honestly i hate being the 1st person in the aisle, especially since the psycho driver tends to stop short at very high speeds. the last thing i need is to hit the windshield at 30 mph, but if that's what you're into, rock on.

i'm honestly content to step off the bus behind you; especially when i beat your sorry, fat, beer-bloated, breeder ass to the F train every morning.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heh. Rock on, CawfeeGuy.

(my word verification is: hetodr)

ryan charisma said...

that bastid.

travelling, but not in love said...

He's no doubt 'blessed' with a very small penis.

Those of us with more sizeable members are less inclined to petty macho competitiveness.

The Hangar Queen said...

I'm thinking some very hot tea dumped on his lap could only improve his mood.

Well...it would improve mine.

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