Gaslighting

i think stephen is trying to kill me.

no...really.

for some reason, i'm very very easily startled. sudden movements, loud noises, sudden appearances, etc shock me. for instance, i'll be watching an episode of Buffy and suddenly some big ugly, gnarly demon will jump out from behind a tombstone and i'll actually jump. stephen gets a real kick out of watching me, and i'll readily admit it's embarassingly funny. i've been known to blush heavily and laugh along with him. on some occasions, it's quite handy to be so easily startled, like when i have a bit too much to drink and have Andy Capp-esque hiccups. the only cure for someone to scare them out of me. swear to god. stephen is great at getting rid of my hiccups. a little too great.

here's where the murder plot starts...

i'll go into the bathroom (which is located off our bedroom, on the 2nd floor) and the bedroom will be empty. when i come out, he'll be sitting on the bed or standing somewhere in the room. true to form, i'll yelp in surprise. then there are the times, i'll be sitting alone in a room with my back to the door, reading, dusting, or writing my blog and he'll stealthily walk in (like a cat or a ninja) and then start speaking. again, i'll let out a scream and jump.

his response, 90% of the time, is to chuckle and say brightly, "hi. i still live here".

he's even gotten one of my co-workers involved: i'l be sitting at my desk, working diligently (or probably writing on my blog) when suddenly i feel two fingers in my sides. my head shoots up like a Rock 'Em-Sock 'Em robot and my ass rises a foot or two off my chair. the next thing i hear is Sassy cackling like Nell Carter at a buffet.

do you see what i'm talking about? it's clearly a plot to either drive me completely mad or make me have a heart attack. if ever there's a point where i haven't posted in more than 2 days, you may wanna call the cops. don't be taken in by his incredibly kind eyes or those two gorgeous dimples on his cute, rosy cheeks. he's up to something, i can tell...

"I envy paranoids; they actually feel people are paying attention to them"~Susan Sontag