Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Like Vacation

10. my job always seems infinitely more pointless and unfulfilling when i get back

9. people are exponentially less hot the further you get from New York (or any other major city, ie. San Francisco or Chicago)

8. hotels always feel like such a mammoth waste of money. I don't need turndown service or spa tub, but a clean room with a comfortable bed, thick comforter and thirsty towels should be the standard, not luxury.

7. 217 unanswered e-mails and faxes waiting for me when i get back.

6. no matter where we go, it seems like we have to go through New Jersey to get there

5. road signs outside New York look like this:

4. i'm a horrible over-packer and bring at least 3 outfits, 2 pairs of shoes and a jacket i don't need; whatever i forget to pack always winds up being really important (ie. cell phone or iPod charger)

3. chain restaurants and the tourists who love them.

2. i don't get to work out like i should because i feel like it's a waste of valuable time which should be spent maximizing the fun.

1. five days is not nearly enough time to relax. in fact: i usually need another five to recover from attempting to squeeze as much fun as possible (read: clubbing, late nights, etc) into the five days i have off and wind up exhausted.