"we've secretly replaced CawfeeGuy's usual F train, at 34th & B'Way, with an E train! let's see if he notices"!

nope. not till Canal street where i picked my head up from my recently purchased Young Avengers omnibus and was like, "WTF"?!? it was then i realized that i was on an E (as opposed to being on E which probably whoulda made this whole affair more tolerable) and figured i'd be ok because the A C and E all stop at Jay Street in Brooklyn, right?
wrong. just because in my mind the E stops at Jay Street doesn't mean it does.
i actually sat on the train at Chambers Street, while it switched from downtown to uptown and then went back to Canal street. where, once again, i exclaimed "WTF". now, feeling like a total spaz, i finally got off and found the Downtown E, took that back to Chambers where i finally asked someone what the hairy hell was going on. the nice MTA worker was nice enough to explain to me, without the use of finger puppets, that i'm a toal idiot that needs to learn to read an MTA map. he then told me where to go and how to get there. twenty minutes later, i was on an A train hurtling toward Downtown Brooklyn.

happy fuckin' friday.

Test Day: I'm Really Big With Orange Striped Cats

You Are Lasagna

Compared to most people, you are open hearted and genuinely friendly. You go out of your way to make sure everyone is comfortable and happy. It's likely that you're a good cook, and you have a few signature crowd pleaser meals. You enjoy entertaining and welcoming guests into your home.

What Pasta Dish Are You?

Everything's Coming Up Roses...For Now

dunno why i'm tempting fate by putting this "on paper", thereby making it real...but i'm feeling terribly content, bordering on blissfully oblivious, at the moment. all the planets seem to be in some sort of alignment right now, as evidenced by the close of two major fiascos (the dishwasher and the photographer), my body's apparent recollection of how to lose weight (182 lbs, baby!), our upcoming trip to canada, my more recent trip to get another tattoo (this sunday! the winner, incidentally, is number 3) and my new position at work.

then, there's the fact that almost all of my friends lives are going swimmingly, with new loves, new babies on the way, engagements, world tours, and domestic bliss. i haven't had one person complain to me (rationally), in weeks! i wanna exhale like whitney, right about now.

ok...let the smiting begin!

Take 2

What: roadtrip, baby!
When: October 10th-14th
Where: (Niagara Falls) Ontario, Canada
Who: Stephen, and John, Justin (and no they're not getting hitched, too...at least not that i've heard of) and I.
Why: Because we wanted to celebrate the anniversary of our 1st wedding with a legally recognized one...one year and 5 days later...

i'm not the only one with wedding related news. in fact, my news pales in comparisson to other people's. theirs is alot more exciting and noteworthy and comes with pictures. i won't link to their blog, though, till they actually post something. that would be cheating and i vow not to spill their beans...

Weekend Highlights

• After 12 weeks of stress and numerous sticky platelets, we're finally getting a new dishwasher from the manufacturer.
• the photography studio that fucked us out of our wedding pictures settled out of court with the NJ Attorney General (there was a dispute over whether or not the photographers which were hired by the studio were paid by the studio). this settlement means we'll be getting our wedding photos (read: negatives) a year after the fact. happy anniversary to us. now we need to find someone who'll turn them into an album.
• saturday was spent in search of a post office which will process passport applications; an effort in futility. apparently there is only 1 post office on staten island which issues passports on Saturday and it's only from 9 to 12. i mean really though, who's up by nine, or leaves the house before 1, on a saturday?
• Wii's Zelda: the Twilight Princess is absolutely amazing. it's almost surreal how good this game is. i was up till 2am Saturday/Sunday trying to rescue a fucking monkey from a cage, atop a totem pole, in a temple. it took me an hour and a half before i gave up and found the cheat on line. then i turned the game off without saving it. the universe gives...the universe takes away...
• we cleaned out our loft-office area, yesterday. it took the better part of the day, but stephen put together the bookshelf we got (last week) at Target , and i loaded up all my books on it. (not counting the last two years of disapproval and frustrated muttering and sighing) it really didn't take stephen a long time to get me off the couch (and away from the Wii) and into gear. we can now see the floor again; he's ecstatic.

My Friends Say the Darndest Things

dammit but my friends are just so brilliantly funny....

"Oh and be careful about starting Zelda, it's slightly more addictive than crack"~ Bri-the-Pie-Guy

"I feel pretty well equipped...in that dress with false lashes [though] - it's like my superhero outfit - you know, the one I wear when the black leather needs to be aired out."?~ Magenta Sequins

"You know someone has seriously invaded your personal space when you can smell them and it makes you nauseous"~ Lady N'il

Test Day: a Font of Useless Information

You Are Comic Sans

You are a nothing but a big goofball. You're quite playful and fun! You're widely known for your zany personality and your vivacious attitude. To say that you stand out in a crowd would be a definite understatement. Remember that you are overwhelming at times and that people appreciate you best in small doses.

What Font Are You?

Whatta Weekend III: I Give Up

ok not really.

i just don't have time to write individual posts. work just got super busy and i wanna strike while the iron is hot (read: before this weekend comes) and before i get buried again, so here y'go...

True Tales of Dishwasher Hell: it's still not fixed. what a fucking surprise. a new repair service was called in after the 1st one flaked on us 4 times. the new guy was just as clueless as the last guy. i called Haier Corporate, lodged a formal complaint. that and $2 will get me on the subway.

the Soup is Inside the Dumpling: another trip to "the soup dumpling place" with MS, N'il and their menfolk* (Ivan Turgenev and the General, respectively). the food was, as always, absolutely amazing and completely impossible to quantify on the WW point system. that's fine, 'cuz i starved myself all day in preparation...like a ritual fast...and was rewarded with culinary nirvana.

the Rice (Pudding) Capades: the dumplings were followed by a trip to Rice to Riches, in SoHo, the "31 Flavors" of rice pudding. yes, that's right...rice fucking pudding...and not just your basic "vanilla w/ cinnamon", we're talking amazingly erudite flavors like French Toast, Tiramisu, Marscapone Madness, Rocky Road and Mango. the single serving is enough for 3 people, so save room or a spot in your man-purse, to bring it home for later...OR you could just have a tub of it shipped to you...if you wanted to...

*Diving into Pool With Beaus: i'll get right down to it; i absolutely adore MS's new fella (who will not be referred to as a "boyfriend", because...she said so). he's hunky and sweet and thoughtful and fun to talk to; he listens well and does not appear to be judgemental in the slightest (read: he takes her friends in stride and laughs at their jokes and off-color remarks). oh he's also not a pool shark, which makes him infinitely less threatening; there's nothing worse than a straight guy who flaunts his athletic prowess while on a double/triple date. straight guys intimidate me enough, without the added bonus of feeling inadequate at pool to make me feel worse. the General, though, isn't threatening in the least, despite his incredible height and massively hot shoulders...he's exactly the kinda guy you want around when there are other, more threatening, straight guys around...in case they actually threaten you.

the absolute best part, though, is that when she's not aware of it, the General looks at MS with utter adoration and (don't tell her, love). he's an 11 out of 10 and i couldn't be more excited for her if she brought home Colton Ford's straight twin brother, Eddie.

Pssst...Your Geek is Showing

is it me, or is Wikipedia a black hole of time and productivity which has the potential to swallow up an entire workday?

i just lost an hour by looking up a character from an X-men story arc (the Asgardian Wars).
**POOF**
gone. buh-bye.
all i was doing was jumping from character bio to character bio to team to story arc and back again; it really is a fanboy's wet dream.

i'm torn between feelings of geeky excitement and embarrassment.

Wii Mean Business

my many birthday celebrations have finally drawn to a close; i've seen my immediate family, my in-laws, my college friends, my post-college friends and my high school friends. i've eaten, i've drank and eaten s'more and somehow still lost weight, and had such a fantastic time getting together with all of my loved ones!

best of all, though, i now have enough Wii games to last the next 12 months.

seriously though, in the last 2 weeks i went from having 4 to 9 plus 1 that i borrowed from Justin. it's a little scary 'cuz i used to be kinda OCD about video games, i couldn't start a new one till i beat one, otherwise i'd have too many irons in the fire and too many stories running through my brain. i've gotten better, though, and can now play multiple games without spazzing out (it's alot easier since most of the games now save themselves and play in a linear fashion), so i may take a brief break from Lego: Star Wars (which i play when stephen doesn't want to kick my ass on Mario Party 8) and try out Metroid: Corruption or Legend of Zelda: the Twilight Princess. i definitely can't start Lego: Indiana Jones yet, 'cuz that's too much Lego to have out there... right?

Whatta Weekend II: Still To Come...

Wii Madness...
True Tales of Dishwasher Hell...
the Soup is Inside the Dumpling!
the Rice (Pudding) Capades
and
Diving into Pool With Beaus

a Truly Terrific, Absolutely True Story...

the time: yesterday, around 10:30-ish
the place: the Starbucks in Staten Island's only Target
the players: yours truly, stephen and a line of patrons waiting for caffination.
the story:

after being shamelessly cruised and flirted with by a straight girl patron and then paying for my iced latte`, stephen and i were chit chatting and watching the young lady pull the espresso shots. Suddenly, there was a thud behind me. i turn around to see a man, on his knees in front of a woman.

Man on His Knees (to Female Companion): WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING ME LIKE THIS!?!
his Female Companion blinks, blushes & looks terribly embarassed
CawfeeGuy: she's your wife.
line of people laughs
MoHK: is it that obvious?
CG: um yeah...she has you on your knees.

We Try to Get Out, They Keep Pulling Us Back In

i can't count how many times we've tried to stop selling Pampered Chef, for one reason or another. Don't get me wrong, the shows we've had were always fun and money we took in was great (it bought us a new laptop, a fence for our patio and helped pay for our trip to Disney a couple of years ago and our San Francisco honeymoon) it just became a little more work than either of us was able to do in addition to our already time consuming jobs and the puppy and Stephen's return to school. Additionally, it became a chore to find reliable hosts willing to take the steps necessary to have a successful (read: $1000+) show.

anyway, after a 4 month hiatus we did a show this weekend (with almost no preparation) for one of stephen's co-workers and a bunch of her nurse friends. a great time was had by all and despite stephen's declaration that we wouldn't book any future shows, if asked, we wound up booking three for September and December.

so much for retirement!

Whatta Weekend

So very much to blog about!
stay tuned...

Test Day: Does this Make Me Bi-Polar?

You Should Be A Gemini

What's good about you: witty and energetic, you're simply the most fun to be around What's bad about you: you're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly In love: you enjoy the "honeymoon phase," but after that it's hard for you to stick around In friendship, you're: likely to have many groups of friends, with many different interests Your ideal job: mime, guru, or cartoonist Your sense of fashion: casual and simple You like to pig out on: fast food, especially burritos

What Sign Should You Be?

That About Sums it Up, Don't It...?

Justin: When is he back? Friday?
CawfeeGuy: Tonight!
Justin: Well yay! No more Capn Crunch for you! And, the ever rare haven't-seen-you-in-a-while 'relations' which, in my opinion, is even better than make-up 'relations.'

Wednesday's Illuminations

well it's day three of my four day, husband-less, week and i'm still alive (and yes, so is the dog). here's what we've learned, so far:

1. i don't like "cooking for one"; i don't know how single people do it. since the dishwasher's still busted, i can't be bothered to dirty pots and pans and things just for lil ole moi, so i've been eating "quick and painless dinners" like chinese food (sunday), hot dogs & beans with steamed zucchini, followed by a cup of soft serve from the hot Mister Softee guy (monday) and last night's Smart One's dinner, Chicken Quesadilas and Pasta Carbonara (i haven't had a "tv dinner"since i'm eleven... i haven't missed much) with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's Peach Cobbler ice cream for dessert. i've stayed on track, within my point range, and i feel good!

2. while our "All-in-One: High Efficiency Washer/Dryer" is not the best unit on the market, its time delay settings are just a little bit fabulous. as of saturday morning, there was a pile of laundry which roughly resembled the staten island landfill, 90% of which was (were?) towels and sheets (which usually get put off till there are no clean ones left, because it takes so bloody long for our dryer to dry them). well, for the last 4 days i've been doing at least a load a day and now there is no laundry left. what there is, though, is a huge pile of clean towels and sheets which needs to be folded and put away.

3. it's no fun coming home to an empty house, but having a puppy really helps.

4. it's not as much fun getting stuff in the mail from Amazon and Woot if nobody's there to frown and/or cluck their tongue.

CawfeeGuy's Question of the Day...

why do straight guys feel the need to expectorate on the street, in the subway, in the men's room; everywhere, all the time?

Homo Alone II: One Less Egg to Fry

so, the hubby's away on business; some conference-thing in Boston. i'm alone for four days. now, before you ask...
yes i'm ok.
yes i'm eating.
no i didn't forget to feed/water the dog.
part of me is a little miffed that a couple of people have insinuated that without stephen i'm unable to function. as it stands, everything's going according to plan. laundry is getting done, dishes are being done (no we still don't have a dishwasher...i don't wanna talk about it), the house is...clean...though definitely not neat and the garbage has been thrown. now, i'll readily admit, i depend on him for alot; i do. he bears the brunt of alot of the cooking and puppy patrol, but only because he leaves later in the morning, and gets home from work 2 hours earlier than i. if i worked closer to home, i'd be right there getting the car serviced and picking up the dry cleaning. as it stands, i'm lucky if i get home in time to make a 7:30 haircut appointment.

i think i do ok on my own and have to confess that i like the time apart, somewhat. i like having all the windows open (he's an air conditioner guy), my music on while i'm cooking and tidying up, getting to watch movies and tvd's that he wouldn't usually sit though (ie. All About Eve and Queer as Folk) and falling asleep to my iPod.

well, trying to fall asleep that is. last night was the 1st night i've slept alone since his last trip and it was almost as enjoyable. it was really dark and cloudy out; no moon to brighten the room through the skylight. had we not agreed when we got the dog that he'd never sleep in our bed, Rufus would've been right there next to me, a living teddy bear. sadly though, he slept downstairs in his crate and i in a bed that's way too big for one person, in a room that's way too creepy at night. i was able to rationalize that he'd act like an "early warning" alarm, in case something tried to use the front or patio doors.

i did wake up a couple of times, at car doors slamming and voices coming from outside, but fell back to sleep pretty quickly, without texting stephen or even turning on the lights. it was cold without him, with the window wide open and the ceiling fan on (usually i'd poke him and tell him i was cold and he'd turn the fan off), but i made it through the night...like a man...without even a candle burning.

that's one down, three to go...

"Get over it - the zombies are going to eat you whether Stephen's there or not"~ Magenta Sequins

Shockingly Fabulous Starbucks/Weight Watchers Fact of the Day

Venti
Iced
5 Shot
Sugar-Free Caramel
Skim
Latte

2 POINTS

what can i say; i'm a man who's easily impressed.

Test Day: You're a Card...to Be Dealt With

What Your Playing Cards Tell About Your Future

Right now you are focused on your internal emotions, including a bit of pain and suffering. Your emotions are currently tied to changes in your home. You may be receiving a visitor soon or changing your address. Your closest friend is amazing. This friend can always be trusted and counted on - in good times and bad. The near future will bring an outgoing, flirtatious woman into your life. She will be alluring and fun - but ultimately dangerous. Beware of a lazy person who will suck up your time. This person is not evil, but they will interfere with your life too much.

The Playing Card Test

Sing it Sister

"I hate Thursdays. They just remind you that you're not finished yet"~ Catwoman (Catwoman: When in Rome)

Fourth Time's a Charm

So the contenders for my fourth tattoo, which will go on my left ankle, under my 1st phoenix are:
1.2.

3.4.

5.

which one do you like?

Birthday Weekend Highlights

Best Part:

• Bri-the-Pie-Guy's homemade Strawberry Rhubarb pie. so fantastic that i've rationed 9 points a day to have slice every night before bed. seriously...the best pie ever.

the Worst Part:

• Sunday. between getting a giftcard to Marshall's from my parents* and our computer dying unexpectedly, sunday was not a good day. i loathe my brother, get depressed when i see Squirt getting older (she's got boobs) and her sister look at me like she's never met me before.

the in between, fun stuff:

• John and Justin on Thursday at Applebees (yes virginia, you can have a birthday dinner for 20 points), which tastes even better with good friends.
• spending a scant 4 hours with Bri-the-Pie-Guy and Mrs. Pie-Guy, whom i miss terribly; even moreso after we've only hung out for a couple of hours. they gave me a fabulous iTunes giftcard which i fully intend to use as soon as our computer is resurrected.
• playing Stephen's gift, Lego Star Wars for Wii, for hours on Saturday (while waiting for the dishwasher repairman who never showed); love it.
• playing Justin and John's gift, Mario Party 8, Saturday night with Justin, Paul and Stephen. absolutely awesome! it's a little bit "boardgame" and a little bit "Telemundo/RaiUno Gameshow". i just wish john wasn't home sick.

*seriously though...have we met? if i've spent more than 20 bucks in Marshall's, in the last 5 years (most of which was on underwear), i've spent alot. i know it's the thought that counts, but wtf?

Test Day: Have You EVER!?!

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