But For How Long? FOR HOW LONG?

overworked.
exhausted.

but employeed.

Pop Quiz: Anyone See My Rubber Duckie?

You Are Ernie

Playful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times. You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun. How you life your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you!

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Say it With Me "Welcome to Starbucks, How May I Help You"

um...yeah...it's never really a good sign when you get called into work on a sunday.


i may have alot more time on my hands soon...

God Bless You Cinnamon Jenkins Pt 2: Work My Broadway/Literary Pussy

so.
very.
excited.

can't.
form.
coherent
thought.

Test Day: Let the Sexual Innuendoes Begin

You Are a Roller Coaster

You live for excitement, adventure, and the most intense of thrills. Nothing is better than feeling you're truly alive, and you're willing to take risks to feel this way. In relationships, people often feel a bit nervous about what they're getting into... But generally, everyone enjoys the wild ride you take them on. Unless they stay with you too long - then they're apt to feel a bit nauseous! Your life has more low points and high points than most people's lives. But that's okay - you love them. You figure that a smooth ride is boring! Besides, you know that super high highs only come from knowing super low lows. You cherish every emotion you feel and feel it fully. Why deny what life is truly about? At your best, you are loving life and sharing your wild times with everyone you know. You are able to open your friends up to a whole new world of experiences. At your worst, you feel extremely disoriented and even a bit dizzy. There's only so much intensity a human (even you!) can take.

What Carnival Ride Are You?

Wicked Hangover

we finally saw Wicked last night, thanks to a very generous Christmas gift from mom, and all i can say is wow. really, that's all i can say, but only because i'm so fucking tired i can hardly type.
knowing we'd be out till well past midnight, i took off today; sadly that was not to be. Dum-Dum's mother passed away yesterday and in a delirious moment of sympathy i told Cunty i'd come in rather than leave the department short. 12 hours later, at 2:30 am, when we finally got home (8 pm show + subway problems + dinner in Chelsea + a ferry ride), i was severely regretting my decision. now, i'm regretting it even more as i try and pry my eye lids open with toothpicks and coffee...

Happy Birthday, Magenta Sequins!!! Pt 2: What I Had Really Wanted to Post

(Early) Test Day: I Can't Think of a Witty Title

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait. And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

Happy Birthday, Magenta Sequins!!!

Start 'Em Young

i'm not sure if i'd call this part of the mythical "Gay Agenda" or the non-existent "Gay Curriculum", but budding baby 'mo's should be made to listen to this CD straight right outta the womb. maybe, then, they'd have taste by the time they're old enough to by their own music.

Track List:
1. A-Tisket, A-Tasket
2. The Organ Grinder's Swing
3. The Muffin Man
4. Chew-Chew-Chew (Chew Your Bubble Gum)
5. Melinda the Mousie
6. Old Mother Hubbard
7. Molasses, Molasses
8. The Bean Bag Song
9. Two Men in a Flying Saucer
10. The Hot Canary

11. Old McDonald

Hump Day

this whole Daylight Savings Time thing is a bad idea.
whereas i used to leave for work when it was barely light out and get home in the dark, now i leave in the dark and get home for sunset.
whoopee.
it's 9am and i'm half done with my coffee, yet i still can't seem to wake up or get warm.

4:20pmUPDATE:
nothing's changed, really...i'm still sleepy, but now we can heap "hungry" and "desperate to leave work so i can sleep on the bus" to the list.

Yes, I'm Back

but i'm swamped. sorry.
real fast:

• Rufus is fine; sleepy, but fine. He wound up being "fixed", getting his rabies shot, having his remaining baby teeth pulled and extraneous hair plucked from inside his ears. since 3pm yesterday, he's been sleeping; waking up only long enough to sip some water and moan (he does "pathetic" even better than he does "cute")
• all the stuff I had planned for yesterday was for naught…I fell into the black hole of Wii and climbed out only long enough to pick up the kid from the doctor and my husband from work. Between Mii making (Bjork, the Golden Girls, George Michael, Madonna)and Super Mario Galaxy I lost, like, 4 hours of my life.
• Merlin is out, so i'm juggling his desk and some of my own work

hopefully more later.

Translation: MYOB

Sweet but Painfully Dull Supervisor: So, you're off on Monday...big plans for the weekend?
CawfeeGuy: yeah...i'm taking the dog to have his balls cut off on Monday...the rest of the weekend will alternate between Wii and sex.
SbPDS: oh...um...ok.

have a good weekend, all!

see you on Tuesday.

Where Oh Where Can My Little Wii Be Pt 4: UPdate II

and like Whitney Houston...

i can exhale.

now i just have to ignore Lewis' portentous comment about empty boxes...

Got It, Need It, Got It, Got It, Need It...

The Top 50 Gayest Songs Ever

50. Elton John and George Michael "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me"
49. Dead or Alive "You Spin Me (Like A Record)"
48. Pet Shop Boys "New York City Boy"
47. Diana Ross "Chain Reaction"
46. Deborah Harry "I Want That Man"
45. Cher "Strong Enough"
44. RuPaul "Supermodel (You Better Work)"
43. KD Lang "Constant Craving"
42. Culture Club "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me"
41. Chaka Kham "I'm Every Woman"
40. Wham "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
39. Paul Lekakis "Boom Boom (Let's Go Back To My Room)
38. Kym Mazelle "Young Hearts Run Free"
37. George Michael "Outside"
36. Donna Summer "I Feel Love"
35. Dannii Minogue "This Is It"
34. Belinda Carlisle "Summer Rain"
33. Peter Allen "I Go To Rio"
32. Sylvester "You Make Me Feel Mighty Real"
31. Heather Small "Proud"
30. CeCe Peniston "Finally"
29. Madonna "Express Yourself"
28. Cyndi Lauper "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"
27. Charlene "I've Been to Paradise (but I've Never Been to Me)"
26. Tim Curry "Sweet Transvestite"
25. Barry Manilow "Copacabana"
24. Barbara Streisand and Donna Summer "No More Tears"
23. Whitney Houston "I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Who Loves Me)"
22. Sister Sledge "We Are Family"
21. Queen "I Want To Break Free"
20. Dolly Parton "9 to 5"
19. Coming Out Crew "Free, Gay and Happy"
18. Village People "In the Navy"
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax"
16. Village People "Macho Man"
15. Judy Garland "Over The Rainbow"
14. Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy"
13. Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out"
12. Cher "Believe"
11. Gloria Gaynor "I Am What I Am"
10. Alicia Bridges "I Love The Nightlife"
9. Madonna "Vogue"
8. Olivia Newton John "Xanadu"
7. Kylie Minogue "Better The Devil You Know"
6. Pet Shop Boys "Go West"
5. Kylie Minogue "Your Disco Needs You"
4. The Weather Girls "It's Raining Men"
3. Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
2. The Village People "YMCA"
1. ABBA "Dancing Queen"

compiled by http://www.samesame.com.au/

i'm a little surprised about the lack of Erasure on here, but the truly funny thing is that i hear 95% of these songs at least once a day. in a fit of boredom, i bolded the ones i have.

(thanks to DJ John Michael for sending me this list)

Test Day: the Hardest Quiz Ever*

You Scored 70% Correct

You are a solid child of the 80s You'd never confuse Tiffany from Debbie And while you may not know Prince's first #1 hit You know every word to Little Red Corvette

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

.

*but only when you consider that i was a pop culture moron in the '80's (and coincidentally, Little Red Corvette just came on)

Test Day: Be Gentle...

You Are 52% Gentleman

Generally you act like a gentleman, but sometimes you're careless with your manners. Most people know that you're trying your best - and that's usually good enough.

Are You A Gentleman?

Where Oh Where Can My Little Wii Be Pt 3: UPdate

i refuse to get excited till it's in my hands.

Where Oh Where Can My Little Wii Be Pt 2: UPSet

CawfeeGuy: Hi, i just got a recorded call from UPS saying that my package, set for delivery tomorrow requires a signature; had i known, i'd probably be able to take off, but as it stands nobody will be there to sign for it.
Rock With Lips (at UPS): ok..?
CG: can i leave a note or something on the door to have the driver leave the package with a neighbor?
RwL: you can but there's no guarantee that the driver will.
CG: excuse me?
RwL: yeah...he's required to make delivery to your address, the 1st time.
CG: i understand that, but you only deliver during working hours, Monday thru Friday, and notify people that a package needs to be signed for the day before delivery.
RwL: ...and..?
CG: and this package is very important (to me). is there any way i can make sure he attempts to deliver it to a neighbor to sign for?
RwL: no.
CG: so what happens after he ignores the note i'm posting on the door?
RwL: the package will go back to the holding area.
CG: and their hours are..?
RwL: Monday thru Friday 9 to 7.
CG: Oh! so if i can get there before 7 i can pick up the package?
RwL: Well, the drivers usually return to the holding area by 7:30...so...
CG: so there's no way i'm getting this package before next week?
RwL: i really couldn't say.

Devastated

thanks bunches, CJ.

between my Wii drama, and this, i'm a mess.

.

“I found that dance was key to keeping depression out of my life. When you dance, things just go away, things don't seem so bad. There's no better way to take care of health than through something as joyous and beautiful as dance.”~ Patrick Swayze

Where Oh Where Can My Little Wii Be?

ever since monday morning, i've been chomping at the bit, waiting for my Wii to be delivered. it's been "in transit to" Maspeth, New York (Queens, that is) for the last 3 days. i've kept the UPS tracking screen up and have been hitting "refresh" every 5 minutes or so...

stephen's not helping, sending frequent text messages, asking "where is it now"?

where, indeed?

Are We Having an Earthquake or is it Just Me?

interior: a Starbucks in Downtown Brooklyn, 7:10 am
CawfeeGuy: 5 Shot Venti Skim Caramel Latte', please.
StarbucksGuy: sure thing.
CawfeeGuy pays and stands, waiting for drink
StarbucksGuy: hey...since i'm already pulling six shots, do you want six in your drink?
CawfeeGuy: um, yeah...sure.
StarbucksGuy: great...here you go.
CawfeeGuy: Thanks!

interior: an office in Downtown Brooklyn, 11:47 am

CawfeeGuy: (via e-mail) i need something to do...i'm kinda bouncing of the walls here....maybe i'll take a walk...
Fabulously Sarcastic Co-Worker: IM SHOCKED.. WHERE U GOING IF U LEAVE UR DESK.. THIS IS A RECORD DAY
CawfeeGuy: i dunno...maybe back to Starbucks?
FSCW: WORD?
CawfeeGuy: Actually, scratch that…i’m WAY to caffeinated for another starbucks run...i feel like i did an 8 ball
FSCW: lol… the fact that u wanna walk iz killin me.lol
(phone rings)
CawfeeGuy: ____ ______ this is David speaking, how can i help you?
FSCW: just there right.. u even sound happy to be at work.

yup...6 shots? bad idea. i think i found my limit.

To All Both Any of My Crazy Christer Readers

It's Back Pt 2: a Quandry

June 13th at the Borgata (in Atlantic City):
Cyndi Lauper
The B-52s
Rosie O'Donnell
Deborah Cox
The Cliks
with Host Carson Kressley

or

June 3rd at Radio City Music Hall
Cyndi Lauper
The B-52s
Regina Spektor
The Indigo Girls
The Cliks
with Host Carson Kressley

or

June 1st at Jones Beach
Cyndi Lauper
The B-52s
Rosie O'Donnell
Indigo Girls
The Cliks
with Host Carson Kressley

so now the question is:

Deborah Cox or the Indigo Girls? the Borgata, Radio City or Jones Beach?

I'm Like an Ambassador...Sort of a Diplomat, If You Will...

being the only out faggot at work has it's perks, my favorite of which is being the "go-to-guy" when it comes to answering the questions about the gay community and (particularly) gay sex (we've discussed docking, snowballing, and tea-bagging) . always one to help out the hapless heteros (i'd rather them get it first hand from one who knows, rather than incorrectly from "on the streets") i answer their questions honestly and unabashedly.

today's question: "what's dogging"?

i had to admit that i had no idea. always one to further my vocabulary and increase my knowledge, i turned to my dear friends at Google who, in turn, sent me to Wikipedia. after the 1st paragraph, i realized that it's (the Queen's) English for cruising. something i have...shall we say...a passing knowledge about.

this information i was able to relay to my curious co-worker, much to her shock and chagrin.
her follow-up question: "do lesbians cruise"?

now i'm flummoxed and have no idea whom to turn to, except you my faithful readers.

"In the sunshine/I know you want to/But you can't say yes/(Let's go outside)/In the moonshine/Take me to the places that I love best"~ Outside (George Michael)

Queer Cinema Double Feature: Somebody Stop Me Before I Rent Again

Once upon a time, in a small neighborhood of Staten Island, my then boyfriend (and now husband) told me that i had a knack/talent/gift for finding the most obscure and dreadful gay and/or lesbian movies in creation (and consequently forcing him to sit through them) from the New York Public Library and Netflix. while the titles and "plots" are long since forgotten, an overall theme emerged: if it was labled as "gay", i'd rent it (or borrow it from the NYPL), without any regard for the number of stars it happened to be given by critics or the viewing public; ironically, given the sheer number of crap we've sat through (estimated total: 300), i still continue to a) rent movies and b) be allowed to rent them. the latest in the dreck parade are Locked Up and Leather Jacket Love Story, which i "found" on Netflix and subjected Stephen to on Sunday evening.

Leather Jacket is a "love story" which takes place somewhere in California, sometime during the last 25 years. for some unknown reason, the entire movies is shot in black and white, which i guess was supposed to add an "art house glam" element, but succeeded only in making the incredibly pale white boys seem paler and the black drag queen/tranny seem blacker. i'm not gonna bore you by pretending to remember the "plot", everything you need to know can be gleaned by looking at the poster. it's really just gratuitous dick shots and light s & m with a splash of story keeping it together (think: the gay Red Shoe Diaries).

As for Locked Up, well all i can say is:
Forbidden love (read: jungle fever miscegenation) in a German prison; let the hijinx ensue! And yes it is in German, so be sure to wear your bifocals, otherwise you'll have no idea how ridiculous the movie really is, and no it's not a comedy.

i sent both back to Netflix yesterday, so we should be getting a couple of more in the mail tomorrow. i'm sure they'll be just as good as these two (lord knows they can't be worse), and will help me maintain my streak of finding the very worst in "gay cinema" (the filmmakers just make it so easy!)

Covered in Puppies Pt 2: Caught During the Rare Moments When the Boys Weren't Playing "Hide the Snausage"

click the pics for larger

Covered in Puppies

It's Back

who's with me?

Wii Wii Wii All the Way Home

after an absolutely phenomenal weekend visit with MS and Chewie (she'll be posting pics i'm sure, since our camera was in the car the whole time), which included a saturday night Scrabble and Wii Bowling fest, i bought a Wii online. it was a bit pricier than i had anticipated, but the "bundle" includes 2 game disks and an extra controller, and since i can't find one in the tri-state area, getting it online seemed the only option.

i've been kinda indifferent about video game systems since the demise of the Sega Genesis (with the exception of my Gameboy/DS), but i am so excited about this, i can hardly stand it.

consider yourselves all invited for a bowling/golf/tennis/baseball/Mii-Making party.