Where's the Justice?

Someone thought these Christmas albums were a good idea....

and yet neither Cher nor Kristine W have one? WTF?!?

By Request 2

i know they're dark, but they're from a camera phone...what do you expect?

Test Day: Tie Me Up

You Are a Bow

You don't think of it as the holiday season - you think of it as the present season!

What Christmas Ornament Are You?

Ho-Ho-HOLD UP Pt. 3: Let the Music Play Pt. 2

i bought 4 CD's from Amazon.com last weekend, they came yesterday. This morning i listened to all of them on the bus, on the way to work...

1. Ho Ho Ho (Rupaul): awful. Even Michelle Visage couldn't save this dud. what a waste of $7. shocked? i was...but just a little. "Rupaul the Red-nosed Drag Queen"? Puh-Leez.



2. Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas (+ Bonus Tracks) (Ella Fitzgerald): amazing. she has the most fabulous voice for Christmas music...hell she could sing the German national anthem and still make it sound awesome. the only drawback is the "alternate take" of Frosty the Snowman; terribly disturbing.



3. the Doris Day Christmas Album (Doris Day): probably the gayest thing i now own, and definitely one of the best Christmas CD's ever recorded. it made me want to jump off the bus, run home and bake cookies for my husband while wearing a starched apron and pearls. really.


4. Ultra-Lounge Presents: Christmas Cocktails Pt. 2 (Various Artists): peppy and cheap. great background music for our next Christmas/New Years party. personally i could use more vocals, but only because the instrumentals sound like skating rink music...but in a good way...

By Request

lying in dad's arms

hanging upside-down in dad's arms

Today's Surprise...

Starbucks' Venti-5 Shot-Skim-White-Chocolate-Mocha...

De-frickin-lish!

Overheard In the Cafeteria...

thirty-something corporate drone girl: I'll have a tuna-salad wrap with cheese and lettuce, please.

cafeteria guy: what kind of cheese?

TSCDG: um....one of the white ones...provolone, i guess? (to her friend) i wanna try one of the other ones, but i'm not sure what they're called.

friend: the one with the holes is swiss and the other one is muenster.

TSCDG: right...muenster...i'm always afraid to ask for that 'cuz i'm afraid to pronounce it wrong.

Call Him Irresponsible

can you think of a better e-mail to open, on crappy tuesday, than this:


To: CawfeeGuy@work
from: DJJohnMichael@home
Re: Mikey Bubbles

Ok, so apparently Michael Buble has been having an alleged affair with some chick that no one cares about and she took 'incriminating photos' of him and Im DYING to find them...
All I found is this one so far and now I REALLY wanna find the others....

::faints...drooling::...


and by "others" he means "more revealing.

and by "more revealing" i mean "dick shots".

i wait with bated breath.

An Open Letter to Those of You For Whom I Will be Purchasing Christmas Gifts This Year...

you need to write me out a christmas list.
i don't have the time or patience to think of fun, fabulous, original gifts like usually do.
i'm tired and a little befuddled.
a little help would be greatly appreciated.

the sooner i get it, the better.
thank you for your cooperation.

Have Great Weekend, All!

What I Learned About Women From Watching TV (shows on DVD)

some (supposedly) smart women are actually really really stupid (or just make really stupid choices):

Some women are really really hot and could should be much bigger stars than they are

Some women really should be left on a raft in the middle of the ocean never to be seen again...

this post is brought to you by Season 3 of Grey's Anatomy, House MD, and Season 4 of the L Word, Best Buy and Netflix; without whom we would be forced to sit through the endless repeats of Everybody Loves Raymond and CSI that seem to be on every channel, all the time.

Ho-Ho-HOLD UP Pt. 2: Let the Music Play

ok, i've given in.
yesterday i uploaded all my Christmas music to Baby Blue along with the new Josh Groban Christmas CD that i got "for Stephen" at Best Buy. i promised myself that i wasn't going to listen to any of it till Friday.
that's my rule:
the Christmas season starts on Black Friday.
i'm looking for other ideas, though. i've been rocking the same bunch of albums for the last couple of years...

so what's your favorite Christmas CD?

Phone Homo

the phone rings on Saturday morning...

Me: Hello?
Obvious Telemarketer Mystery Guy: Stephen L----a, please.
Me: With whom am i speaking?
Obvious Telemarketer Mystery Guy: Stephen L----a, please.
Me: Excuse me; who is this?
Obvious Telemarketer Mystery Guy: this is regarding a personal matter.
Me: Ok...but where are you calling from?
Obvious Telemarketer Mystery Guy: I'll only speak with Stephen L---a.
Me: Listen, this is his husband and unless you tell me who you are and where you're calling from, i'm hanging up.
Obvious Telemarketer Mystery Guy(quite frazzled): Oh...um...i'm sorry...this is [so and so] from the Fraternal Order of Police. Stephen pledged to make a donation last year and we were calling to find out if he'd be willing to make another.
Me: see? that wasn't so hard. Hold on i'll get him for you.

god that felt good to say.

Test Day: the Free Cynic

You Are 40% Cynical

Generally you give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are exceptions. You buy into many of the things that mainstream society believes, but you're not anybody's fool.

How Cynical Are You?

It's 4:30 EST

so stressed out. we're short handed and i'm left to do the fungus' work while he's on vacation.

juggling the phone and e-mails.

stupid questions abounding.

i'm also slamming handfuls of mini M & M's and downing a 40 oz bottle of water feeling strangely like Judy Garland...

Speaking of T-Shirts...

is $35 too much to spend on one?

Star Struck Pt. 4

Leo: Find a different source of style inspiration; the one you were following is no longer appropriate for the current you!

translation: bitch, them jeans is too tight. buy a mumu and head back to weight watchers. 5 pounds since the wedding? please!

or

what's with the superhero t-shirts and the bootcut jeans? you ain't 21 anymore. grow up.

the universe hates leos. i'm feeling insecure, old and fat.
is it obvious?

Tonight's Menu:

Ostrich.

no...really.

recipe suggestions, anyone?

do they make Ostrich Helper?

Test Day: For a Song

Your Karaoke Theme Song is "Livin' On a Prayer"

You believe the best things in life are mostly forgotten, and you're definitely more than a little nostalgic . You're likely to still like the same foods, fashions, and music as you did when you were a teenager. You have a knack for knowing what elements of pop culture people have missed, without them even realizing it. It's great to remember the past, but don't forget that not everyone is as stuck in it as you are. You might also sing: "Pour Some Sugar on Me," "Rapper's Delight," and "Cherry Pie" Stay away from people who sing: "Toxic"

What's" Your Karaoke Theme Song?

Test Day: the Writing's On the Wall

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are a fairly energetic person. You know how do pace yourself, and you deal well with stress. You range from very outgoing to very shy. You are a shapeshifter who is very versatile. You adapt well, and you look at things from many angles. You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

Ho-Ho-HOLD UP!

is it not early November?
was Halloween not a week ago?
is Thanksgiving not 2 weeks away?

then what the fuck is up with all the Christmas decorations?
Starbucks.
Macy's on 34th Street.
CVS.
all of them bathed in tinsel and candy stripes and holly.

now, y'all know how much i love Christmas (i'm actually scoping out about 5 new christmas albums that have just been released), but this is ridiculous.

i don't even feel right putting my "Christmas" label on this post.

Swamped

work has been insane. i'm overwhelmed and completely stressed out, between last week's round of layoffs and an obscene acceleration of my jobs usual time frame (from five days processing time to three), i've been waking up in the middle of the night feeling anxious and dreading the dawn.

this, of course, makes me wonder (again) if it's time leave finance.

is money enough to keep me in a job i've come to loathe, in an industry i've got no desire to be in? if i did leave, where would i go? what would i do?

could i ever find another job, doing something i like, that would pay half the mortgage and put food in my puppy's bowl?

the Homo-Mooners

It's been 1 month and Stephen still hasn't smothered me in my sleep or changed the locks before i got home from work.

the honeymoon continues...

And the Band Played On

perhaps the stupidest lyrics ever written:

Band Of Gold

Now that you're gone
All that's left is a band of gold
All that's left of the dream I hold
Is a band of gold
And the memories of what love could be
If you are still here with me

You took me from the shelter of a mother I had never known
Who loved any other
We kissed after taking vows
But that night on our honeymoon
We stayed in separate rooms

I wait in the darkness of my lonely room
Filled with sadness, filled with gloom
Hoping soon that you'll walk
Back through that door
And love me like you tried before

Since you've been gone
All that's left is a band of gold
All that's left of the dream I hold
Is a band of gold
And the dream of what love could be
If you are still here with me

Ooh, don't you know that I wait in the darkness of my lonely room
Filled with sadness, filled with gloom
Hoping soon that you'll walk
Back through that door
And love me like you tried before

Since you've been gone
All that's left is a band of gold
All that's left of the dream I hold
Is a band of gold
And the dream of what love could be
If you are still here with me

What the hell does that mean? was she raised in an orphanage? did he just split before consumating the marriage? is poor freda still a virgin?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

Ironically i can't stop listening to Kimberly Locke's flawless cover of Freda Payne's immortal (albeit ridiculous) hit. remixes by Scotty K, Almighty, Dave Aude and Bimbo Jones make this my new favorite, guilty pleasure song.

Rufus and Chewie: the Reunion Pt. 2

i can't even begin to tell you how much fun we all had. the boys took to each other like peanut butter and chocolate (you decide which is which) and as much as i'd love to post some pics of the event, my camera is way too slow; it was like trying to get a shot of a hummingbird. luckily MS, being the professional that she is, had better luck.


we were lucky to get Rufus tuckered out for MS to take this family portrait:

as you can tell Rufus was exhausted; this play date was the most exercise he's had since we got him (which may explain why he's almost twice the size of Chewie).

in fact, he slept late yesterday and then cuddled with his new favorite toy from Zia Michele, Mr. Frog:

DJ John Michael: Moyle Brain Surgeon of the Dancefloor

you're bored by 9 minute vocal anthems, i can tell.

they're fine after a couple of bumps of...something...or perhaps after a latte' or 4, but when you're in your car or on the bus and you need that quick fix of Deborah Cox or Britney, and the album versions just aren't fabulous enough, what can you do? i'll tell you.

check out this blog.

it's all edits, all the time. not just the standard stuff you usually can find online, from over priced singles...original edits of songs that, before now, have never been edited (ie. Junior's mind numbing mixes of Kristine W's Land of the Living, Casey Stratton's Blood, and Madonna's I Want You; stellar mixes like Almighty's mix of Sheena Easton's Don't Leave Me This Way, Barry Harris' mix of Chaka Kahn's To Sir With Love, and the sublime ridiculousness that is Franklin Fuentes' Mary Tyler Moore). DJ John Michael is one of the most amazing DJ's ever to set foot in a club. there isn't a person alive who knows house music better than he, so there's nobody better qualified to get to the meat of the long drawn out club mixes of DJ's like Offer Nissim and Guido Osario.

check it out, i know you won't be disappointed.

Test Day: the Emily Post

You Have Good Manners 69% of the Time

Your manners are quite excellent. You are well versed in etiquette.Of course you have the occasional slip up, but you even apologize with grace.

How are Your Manners?

(the other, more cuddly) Rufus & Chewie: the Reunion

this Saturday, MS and Chewie are driving down from Connecticut for a play date! the puppies will play in Rufus' pen while the parents sit on the couch drinking, trying to blot out the emotional strain of a Single-Puppy-Mom and the cast of Rufus Has Two Daddies.

it'll be the 1st time they've seen each other since they were seperated on 10/13. I can't wait to see them together. i've never met Chewie.

i've heard alot about him and read alot more...

will they know who the other is? i wonder if they miss each other.

will they go through a whole new bout of seperation anxiety, all over again, after MS and Chewie leave?

Rufus: Live (plus a bonus Mini-Post: The Games Homos Play)

sure the new CD is as boring as a drag queen without her cocaine, but Miss Thing puts on one helluva show; so the BF and i are off to NJ in January to see my puppy's namesake. i honestly wouldn't have even known about it, had Justin not e-mailed me. i'm glad to see he's risen above last friday's post-dinner Monopoly fiasco* and let me know. if we hit it off with his friend Brenda/Brendan this sunday we may meet up there.

the tickets are mad cheap, so if you can make it (and don't mind schlepping out to the godforsaken garden state) i suggest you get get tickets.

Check out the details here.

*John and i tortured him mercilessly by refusing to trade property for cash and prizes, thus depriving him of the ability to build houses and hotels (which would've made him infinitely richer at our expense) purely for the enjoyment of watching him get mad/pissy. the nail in the coffin was when i turned to john and asked, with the straightest face i could muster (which was pretty damn hard considering the bottle and a half of wine we had consumed) i asked John if he'd be willing to trade my Ventor Avenue for his Atlantic Avenue. Hilarity ensued (enlarge the pic if you have no idea why John and I laughed for 20 minutes while Justin sulked).