gotta love those Crazy Christers. ironic, isn't it, that they're so anti-abortion. so, yeah, this really got me thinking: if i could change being gay, would i?
would i give up all the fear and anxiety i felt throughout my early childhood and adolescence?
would i give up all the years i spent worrying that the church i spent so many years in was right; that i was unwholesome, different, unnatural and bad?
would i give up finding out who my real friends were?
would i give up all the anonymous sex and hook-ups i had in my late teens and early twenties?
would i give up having my heart broken by "straight guys" who were just "fooling around"?
would i give up the nervousness i feel when i walk down the street holding my boyfriend's hand; the anticipation of being taunted or worse?
would i give back all those years i spent, my stomach in knots, hoping and praying to whomever-was-listening that my father wouldn't disown me when i told him?
would i give up the utter and complete sense of relief and happiness i felt when he didn't; when he hugged me, told me he loved me and that he only wants my happiness?
would i give up being in love with the only person in the entire universe i could ever be with; my soulmate, lover, friend and protector?
not on your bible-bible beating, hypocritical, dead-eyed, fanatical life.
i'm angry. i'm so fucking angry and upset that i almost can't put it into words; frustrated to the point that i'm fighting back tears, with my teeth gnashing and all my muscles tensed, and the more i think about it, the angrier i get. here we are, 20+ years after the American Psychiatric Association removes homosexuality from it's list of mental illnesses and the people who hang their hopes on book still consider us "sick". when's it gonna end and what the fuck am i gonna do about it?
"My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don’t make that mistake yourself. Life’s too damn short"~Armistead Maupin
2 comments:
I encourage you to read Al Mohler's recent post about all this (especially the end). www.albertmohler.com I can promise you that he doesn't hate gay people and that not all Christians do. The "Christians" who do hate homosexuals aren't true followers of Christ. I'm sorry that anyone has made you feel otherwise.
This was absolutely powerful, and thank you, thank you for not saying "Maybe" to the question: "Would I change being gay?" Becuase...I believe I would not either...I am who I am becaue of those same struggles I went through...it's like changing the color of your skin--that is just something I can not do...give in just because it would easier.
Thank you...
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