What's That Funky Neuroma? Or: a Rare Case of Brake Fluid

I went to the doctor a few weeks ago. i had been getting these terribly annoying, shooting pains in my right ear. oddly enough, this was nothing new, as i've always had problems with that ear (ear aches and infections, etc). this is the price you pay when you're almost 3 months pre-mature. anyway, the pains had gotten worse and more frequent over the last couple of years, and my hearing seemed to be failing me more often than i cared to admit. granted, that may have been caused by spending one too many hours at Collesseum or listening to Johnny Vicious' mix of Kristine W's Stronger just a little too loudly, but i was concerned nonetheless. so off to the doctor i went. after a brief examination he seemed rather stumped. he gave me a couple of options as to what may be causing both the pain and the hearing loss and reccomended i go get an MRI. i went home and told stephen and like any good member of the health care system (and curious boyfriend) he asked to see the prescription, then asked me if i read it. shrugging i said that i hadn't really. it was then he pointed out that at the very bottom it said "RO Mass", which he translated as "Rule Out Mass". i panicked.
"What the hell does he mean mass "!? Stephen, calmly, explained that he probably wanted to cover all the bases and that it probably was nothing. Slightly relieved, i made the appointment and a couple of days later i had the MRI.
the test itself was alot like being in a tanning bed, without the benefit of the light bulbs. the banging noises left me slightly un-nerved (i'm very easily startled, like a horse) and to make matters worse they had on Sirius' Classic Rock station. the 25 minute test felt like three hours while Don McClean yodelled the 19 minute version of American Pie (also, half way through, someone left a voice mail message, causing my phone to bleat like a sheep till it was answered). all in all it was not a pleasant experience, but i made it through.
Fast forward two weeks (this past monday): the results are in!
whomever read the film has found something lurking in my head. my doctor is not quite sure what it is, so prefers to call it a Neuroma. his advice: sending me for another MRI, this time with the IV Contrast (which is some sort of dye injected into my ear to make whatever's in there appear more 3 dimensional). now is when i really panic. i call stephen at work and tell him the news. true to form, he is supportive and level headed. calms me as best he can and tells me that i shouldn't worry till after the 2nd MRI. we hang up and i do what any panicking person would do, i look up my problem on the internet. big mistake. this is what i find:

A neuroma is a non-cancerous, or benign, growth that arises in
nerve cells. This growth of nerve tissue can occur in various places of the body.Two common neuromas are acoustic neuroma, which occurs between the brain and inner ear, and Morton's Neuroma, which occurs near the toes. In most cases, it is a slow-growing tumor that does not invade nearby tissue. Acoustic neuroma is a type of brain tumor and belongs to the group called schwannomas, or tumors that begin in Schwann cells.

this is what i read:

A neuroma is a growth that arises in nerve cells. Acoustic neuroma is a type of brain tumor.

now i really panic. i call the 1st person i think of, my friend John, and i completely lose it on the phone. i start crying, freaking out and having an all purpose melt down(right here at my desk; it's amazing that none of my co-workers saw me). john calms me down enough to help me get
through the rest of the day. i get home and sequester myself till 6am the next morning, when we have to leave for work. yesterday was a complete blur. i got home and started cooking. all of a sudden i was hit with the most atrocious headache i have ever experienced. it felt like my brain was trying to push itself out through my left eye socket. stephen was nice enough to run out and get me some Tylenol or something. i was in bed by 8pm. sometime later, John came by (by then the Ibuprofen and Claritin D seemed to work out some deal with my brain). we joked and laughed for a while and then i went to bed.

that brings us to today, the 2nd appointment has been made (June 1st) and i'm feeling much better (now that i've stopped leaving out words from diagnoses). stephen has sat me down and told me the possible options (Gamma radiation or micro surgery).

now comes the part i'm truly dreading: the waiting. even worse than that: telling my mom...