Ho-Ho-Hold UP

The holidays are right around the corner and I’m totally not having any of it. I’ve been seeing all kinds of Christmas decorations in my travels around 3 of the 5 boroughs, since Halloween. Wasn’t Halloween, like, last Tuesday? “My” Starbucks has had their iconic red cups since November 1st and started serving Christmas Blend this past Monday. It’s all happening way too quickly for me.
Maybe it’s the weather. Despite that freak snowstorm we had a couple of weeks back; it’s been cool but not cold; certainly not cold enough to signify the coming of Christmas. I’ve barely had time to wear any of the stuff I knit over the summer, in preparation of cold weather (on the flip side it’s actually kinda good, ‘cuz I really need to knit myself a new hat).

Honestly, I think my retail background may also be to blame. My brain is hardwired to believe that the Christmas season doesn’t start until Black Friday and anything before then is just tacky. It bugs the shit out of me that Christmas has come to completely eclipse Thanksgiving; I’m just not prepared for it, because it happens a month after Thanksgiving!

I’m not ready for decorating.

I’m not ready to bake dozens upon dozens of cookies.

I’m not ready to write out my Christmas cards.

I’m really not ready for shopping and wrapping (though, let’s be honest: 95% of my shopping happens online and 90% of my gifts are wrapped 2 days before Christmas). I’m not even ready for Christmas music and you all know how much I live for Christmas music.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, and I’m sure that in a couple of weeks I’ll be up to my nipples in tinsel and brown sugar cut-out cookies, whistling All I Want For Christmas is You outta my ass, while sipping eggonog. For now, though, I’d really like to slow this holiday train down and spend Thanksgiving the way it was intended: binge eating, alcohol abuse and sugar shock with a self-recrimination chaser.