Irksome

Dingbat has the most irritating habit of letting her phone ring and ring and ring and ring and ring without answering it.
when i finally get tired of hearing it, pick it up, and tell her it's for her, she ignores me.

one day i'm gonna Zsa-Zsa her.

Be It Resolved...(Updated)

CawfeeGuy's New Puppy Resolutions

1. I will remember to only purchase clothes for dogs which are are functional. little sweaters keep him warm and little raincoats keep him dry. little cowboy or construction worker or leather daddy outfits are decorative only; he's a dog and not a member of the Village people.
2. I will not let whether or not he poops, pees, eats or drinks affect my mood. when he wants to do any of the afformentioned, he will.
3. I will not be taken in by the Big Doe-eyed Puppy schtick, and discipline (read: scold) him when it's warranted.
4. I will not resent him for forcing me out of bed on cold, wet mornings, at 5am to take him out.
5. I will remember that not all people are "dog people" and that no matter how cute and wonderful I think he is, some (incredibly insane and untrustworthy) people may not like him and i should not take it personally; i should respect their feelings and not force my puppy on them.
6. i will actively avoid those people from #5
7. I will listen to (but not necessarily take) unsolicited advice from other dog owners because just like when dealing with boyfriends, what works for them won't necessarily work for me.
8. I will not feel guilty that neither my husband nor i cannot be stay at home puppy dads.

to be continued...

Test Day: Abbot and Costello Meet CawfeeGuy

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky. You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster. Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural. Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control You play well with: Vampires

WhatKind of Monster Are You?

Selfish

My pre-wedding gift to me:

Thanks to the good people at work (from whom i'd received several Macy's giftcards over the last 2 years, which i squirrelled away for a rainy day), i paid $20 for this little beauty, on the friday before our big day. it made a wonderful carry-on for the trip to SF and now i take it back and forth to work.

no, it's not quite the Coach bag i'd been eyeing, but it's a gorgeous hunk of cowhide nonetheless; leather so soft it's like buttah.

Eat Me

John and Justin are coming over for dinner tomorrow and for a change, i'm cooking.

see, whenever we have friends or family coming over, stephen does most (if not all) of the cooking. it's rare that i get to cook for anyone but him just because...well...he's a much more diverse cook than i am.

i have a very limited repertoire which really only includes Italian staples (pasta sauces, pasta/vegetable dishes, 101 ways to make cutlets), "Asian inspired" meat/vegetable dishes and soup; don't scoff, i make a killer Chicken and matzoh ball soup.

Stephen, however, can cook Asian, Latin, German, Italian, and Greek, all off the cuff. he's a culinary McGuyver, i tell you, and i'm jealous as hell. Don't get me wrong, i can read a cookbook and follow a recipe to a tee and whatever i cook it will taste fantastic; i'm just not terribly creative in the kitchen like he is. he's also a master baker (hee hee...say that out loud) and turns out breads that could make a person weep, whereas i actively fear using yeast. His meals usually leave our friends and family satiated and impressed by his culinary ability. If i'm lucky, i can pick up a spare by making dessert: a cake, cookies or bars, but more often than not our guests offer to bring dessert so the meal gets complimented by one of Bri-the-Pie-Guy's fantastic cakes, pies or tarts or whatever my mom whips up (last week it was a Cranberry Upside down cake).

anyway, tomorrow night's menu will be Penne Vodka (which is one of my specialties and one of John's favorites) and a loaf of Stephen's fresh bread. I know, it sounds very simple, but what can you do? Justin is making a Bailey's Chocolate Cheesecake which i'm sure will outshine my dinner, and that's fine with me. i'm all for dessert being the main course.

Ho Hum

Rufus is taking alot out of me, though i've not been home nearly as much as Stephen, taking care of him.up at 5 to walk him, in bed at 10:30 or 11 after his last walk; working double time in between.

i'm tired and a bit restless. i can't seem to motivate myself to continue with the post about the wedding. suffice to say, we had a wonderful time and i'm glad it's over; alot of stress.

the honeymoon was most welcome and to reiterate, Stephen and i both see ourselves living in SF in the future. this is the 1st long-term goal (as opposed to long-term dream) i've ever made. i mean really, though...sunny, breezy and 65 degrees all the time? a gay ghetto without attitude? what more could a guy want?

in lieu of writing anything more, here are some of the pics i have from the honeymoon; they're from my cell phone, so don't expect anything too fabulous...



i'll post s'more from our home PC, later tonight...during Heroes.

Yup, My Man Like's 'Em Short and Hairy

Stephen (via text message): "major separation anxiety"!

Test Day: I Was Hoping for Cerulean

You are Ocean Blue

You're both warm and practical. You're very driven, but you're also very well rounded.You tend to see both sides to every issue, and people consider you a natural diplomat.

WhatColor Blue Are You?

.

.

"Your colours are magnificent/From magenta to bright blue"~In My Arms (Erasure)

Test Day: Really Real

You Are 76% Real

You know who you are, and you're pretty darn comfortable with yourself. Like everyone, you struggle with the parts of yourself that aren't so great... But you're good at accepting who you are and not dwelling on your faults. As a result, you're confident, optimistic, and very real.

How Real Are You?

At Long Last: the Wedding Post

here's the post some of you have been waiting for (if not, skip it...jerk).

1st off, lemme, say that i am so glad that i took off wednesday through friday before the wedding. there was so much going on, between the last minute cleaning, packing and preening, that there was no way i would've been able to work with a clear head. the fact that the washing machine died the previous sunday definitely didn't help to make the week less stressful. the three days flew and i barely slept Friday night.

Saturday was beyond beautiful; we couldn't have asked for better weather or better friends to help with the last minute details (thanks again to Bri-the-Pie-Guy for being our mobile point man). i won't bore you with all the minutiae of pre-ceremony Saturday. the Campbell's Soup version:

1. the limo drivers were replacements who had no idea they were hired for a gay wedding ("where's the bride"?) or the afternoon's itinerary ("we're going where? i'm from the Bronx...you'll have do give me directions").

2. the guys (John and John) looked fantastic; both were made to wear tuxes and their gift from us (matching garnet rings) looked splendid. (my) John rarely dresses up in formal wear and almost never removes his hat; he should do both more often, as he is beguiling when dressed.

3. the girls took my breath away; MS's jewelry only added more sparkle and glamour to two already wonderful gems. Jennifer is a beautiful woman who was truly stunning for our wedding. her hair, her makeup, her dress were flawless. her husband is a very lucky man.

4. the photographer was my favorite part of the entire day. of all the people we had hired, he was the most professional and a true joy to work with. he corralled and posed our families, suffering lame jokes, dead flash batteries and (worst of all) our siblings' children with equanimity and professionalism. he was with us from 3 to 11 and stopped snapping pictures only during the drive to the park then at the hall to down a quick dinner while everyone else was eating. he earned every penny of both his salary(?) and his tip. i can't tell you how much i'm looking foward to going through the proofs to compile our album.

5. the hall was another story, all together. they didn't put out the place cards for the 3 family tables, set up a cake table, put out the favors (till 10 minutes after the guests started to leave...btw: if you didn't get a favor, lemme know). they didn't open the appetizer table till during dinner; the coffee was cold, and the service was lousy. the only thing they had in their favor was that the food was delicious (when it was served at the right temperature) and the ambiance was perfect for the ceremony.

next....Cocktail Hour and the Ceremony!

Wedding Pics

from a co-worker's camera...

the Aftermath Pt.2: No Excuses

totally swamped after my 2 week vacation...you'd think i was actually important here.


SF was beyond fabulous and as soon as we get our camera back from the hotel...funny story there...we'll get the pictures developed and i'll post what i can.


till then, here's all i got; one from the wedding and the other of Rufus in the car, on the way home, yesterday:

the Aftermath Pt 1

i realize that nobody was expecting this, but i have a second of downtime.

let me begin by saying that never in my life have i experienced the level of joy, relief, stress and love all in one singular 12 hour period. i'll get into the details of the day when i'm back in NYC, but suffice to say yesterday was, without a doubt, the single happiest day of my entire 31 years.

this really will be the only post this week. San Francisco has already grabbed hold of me. i'm smitten with this town.

one last thought, on a pointedly personal note:
MS...i can't tell you how much i love you and how happy i was that you were there...i'm welling up, just thinking of how stunning you looked. incedentally, after you left, the DJ was asking all about you...he described you as "enchanting".

i love you all (MS, Nil, Bri the Pie Guy, John, and Chris) more than i can say. i'm sure one of you will have a "review" and i can't wait to see your pictures.

ta ta till next week.

1 Day 5 Hours 47 Minutes

phone call #2...
her hairdresser's father had a heart attack; she won't trust anyone else to put the extensions in her hair.
*rubs temples*

1 Day 6 Hours 44 Minutes

asked my mom to tie ribbon around the programs...like little diplomas...she calls me up and barks the we didn't list my my brother's wife or stephen's siblings' spouses. says it's a blatant slap in the face. we argued for half an hour.

in the end i said FUCK THE PROGRAMS.

i don't need this.

2 Days 5 Hours 59 Minutes

picked up the tuxes.
stephen looks so good i almost cried

2 Days 7 Hours 48 Minutes

feeling decidedly chill.
just came from having my back waxed (i know what i promised. there's a hot tub. shut up) and my 1st professional manicure. i feel sufficently pampered, though i can't sit back on the couch...
last minute errands have been run.
all that's left is to pack and have our run-thru/read-thru/excuse to pen a bottle of champagne.
btw: thank you all for the wonderful good wishes and vibes...your comments and e-mails are totally making me schvitz less.

3 Days 11 Hours 32 Minutes: Ok...So I'm a Liar...

"...You are really an inspiration for me and a lot of others.It will be fantastic. Make it fantastic!"~Byron Filtch

an inspiration?
to others?

holy crap...that's alot of pressure.
thanks a bunch byron.

"I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, AND a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention your [taps his foot] BIOLOGICAL CLOCK - my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more SHIT we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case? Is it possible"~ My Cousin Vinny (Joe Pesci)

4 Days 15 Hours 37 Minutes

in the home stretch now; tomorrow's my last day of work.
the washing machine broke yesterday.
i spent the entire weekend dusting and vacuming; my sinuses and eyes are on fire.
stephen has a horrible cold and is almost intolerable when he's sick. between him and the fungus, here at work (that's Merlin, who coughs and sneezes all over the place), i'll be lucky if i don't wind up sick.
there's going to be a window of 3 hours in between the pictures and cocktail hour that needs to be filled. what are we going to do with 20 people in formal wear?
i'm deffinitely not in the best frame of mind to deal, right now.
i'm nervous and anxious and happy and exhausted.
i think this will be my last post for the week (but probably not).