Snow Job

I’m not going to jabber about the Oscars. They were dull and un-eventful, despite Ellen’s best efforts. The most exciting thing was the prospect of Jennifer Hudson’s ta-tas popping out during the Dreamgirls Medley. I’m kicking myself for staying up past midnight and then waking up at 5.

No, this morning, I wanna talk about snow. See, I think it’s high time that somebody laid down some ground-rules about Proper Snow Removal from your Car/Truck/Suv/Rickshaw/what-have-you. Driving down the NJ Turnpike this morning (yup, I’m back in NJ this week), I was appalled and enflamed by the number of cars that were covered, and I do mean covered, in snow; the drivers having cleared off only the bare minimum. One car I saw had only cleared off the windshield; the hood, roof, trunk and bumper of the car were covered in at least 4 inches of snow which was flying off as the driver flew at 65 mph down the NJT. Even more unbelievable was that the entire rear-window was completely obstructed; as in zero visibility. The number of cars that had barely been cleaned was staggering. The fact that their drivers didn’t seem to notice the Spy Hunter-esque cloud of snow and ice they were leaving in their wake, was even more amazing.

The I’m Too Good to Clean of My Car crowd appears to be comprised of three types of people:
1) those who drive BMW’s, Mercedes, Cadillacs, Infinities, and other luxury/status cars.
2) Those who drive SUV’s.
3) Women.

Typically, the most snow-sodden vehicles are Cadillac SUV’s driven by women.

What’s the matter girls, couldn’t rouse the maid to warm up the gas guzzling monster truck, just so you can make it to Curves before work? That’s no reason to put the rest of our lives in jeopardy.

If you aren’t tall enough to clean off your truck/suv, or just can’t be bothered to take the scaper to the Jag, please do us all a favor and stay the hell home.