As Helpful As a Kick in the Teeth

i have a dentist appointment tomorrow at 9am. Stephen's been on me for the last year or so to go and i finally gave in (secretly, i think he wants me go so the dentist can check out the teeth before he "buys the pony"). it's been a while...like a few years. now, don't go looking at me funny; i'm not some sort of yuck-mouth. i brush every day and have never had a cavity. the last time i went, though was to have all four of my wisdom teeth removed. it was, by far and above, one of the worst experiences of my adult life (yes, worse than Glitter). every once in a while, i have nightmares of the sound of the tooth snapping or the drill whirring. i know it sounds like i'm being a drama queen, but since i had never had problems with my teeth before, all the pain, discomfort, and swelling were terribly new experiences; experiences which i do not wish to have again.

when i was younger we went to the Dentist every year, like clockwork. i remember the waiting room, where he showed cartoons of the Fantastic Four and Spiderwoman. then i'd go into the exam room where he was very gentle and personable; i never felt uncomfortable or in pain. i can still taste the pads he'd put in my mouth for the x-rays (they tasted sweet like bubblegum). then, at the end of the visit, he had a big treasure chest where we could pick out one toy for being "so good" (i always chose a ring of some sort, usually with a spider or something on it so it looked less...girly). it was a trip i actually looked forward to, if you could believe it and saw him till i was well into High School. after High School, i'd go every couple of years and it was always the same thing: cleaning and a lecture on flossing. then came my wisdom teeth. no need to rehash that drama.

so i stayed away from the dentist for a few years (4?5?). i did it to avoid going through all the unpleasantness i went through last time, but i've reached a point where i know i should go in for a cleaning at the very least (brushing twice a day can only do so much). i'm still very nervous, though. do you think she'll have a treasure chest?

"When I was younger/ just a bad little kid/My mama noticed funny things I did/Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun/I'd poison guppies, and when I was done/I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head/That's when my mama said /My boy, I think someday/You'll find a way /To make your natural tendencies pay/You'll be a dentist/You have a talent for causin' things pain/Son, be a dentist"~ Dentist (Little Shop of Horrors)