Silver Glitter Tumor

Once upon a time (somewhere in the late ‘90’s I think, but who can remember that far back) I read a book. The title was Can’t Buy Me Love and it was by Chris Kenry. No, it’s not about the Beatles; it’s about male prostitution, the gay porn industry, public assistance, taxidermy and true love (yes it’s fiction, silly). I’ve since read this book about 5 more times (y’all know how I like to re-read mah books), and the one part that sticks with me every day is when the protagonist of our tale wanders into the Denver Museum and happens across an exhibit devoted to the Colorado Silver Rush. In the middle of the room is a book where patrons of the museum have written about silver (heirlooms, etc). it must be a very Hands On kinda museum. Anyhoo…one patron has written in all sorts of acronyms for the wordk Silver (ie: Some Icelandics Love Very Eerie Recordings). I thought it was funniest thing I’d ever read. After I finished the book I loaned it to John, who found it just as fabulous. Since (6 years ago? 5?) then we’ve been text messaging each other acronyms for Silver. After a while we branched out. Mariah Carey’s Glitter had hit the world and in retaliation for making me sit through it, I inflicted acronyms on John (Gorgeous Lesbians insist tube tops ease redness). Oh the times we’ve had with Glitter!
Lately, in response to my fears and anxieties about my pet neuroma, we’ve been using the word Tumor (Thin? Ummm Mariah’s Obese. Really). I invite you, my friends, to help out and offer your own acronyms using SILVER GLITTER or TUMOR and to post them here on my blog.

some of our greatest hits:

TUMOR: Terrycloth Underneath Maribou?!! Oh Really?!!?
TUMOR: Tragedy! Ugly Mexicans Off Romanians!!
SILVER: Slim Indians Love Vibrant Enormous Ribbons
SILVER: Sometimes I Like Very Enigmatic Ricans
GLITTER: Gorgeous Ladies in tank tops enjoy running
GLITTER: Grazing Lightly, I Tried To Eat Rhubarb
GLITTER: Giggling leprechauns? insipid tittering taunts every rapist
GLITTER: Going Long, I Tackled Timmy Every Round
SILVER: Single Indians Like Vaginally Entering Romanians
GLITTER: Gigantic Lithuanians Insist: Terrycloth Towels Eradicate Red-wine!
GLITTER: "Getting Lice Is Terribly Tragic", Earl Replied
TUMOR: Terribly Undercooked Meat often repeats
TUMOR: “Tranny”! uttered Madonna, obviously repulsed
TUMOR: Terrycloth undermines Madonna’s obsession: RAYON!
TUMOR: Try uncut meat over regular.
TUMOR: the Underwear Model ordered raisins.
TUMOR: Tongue usage might offer relief

“She’s an onion-pussy bitch and I hate her”~ Get Huh (Ride Committee featuring Roxy)