"Do you hear that sound? That's your yarn...it's crying"~ Magenta Sequins

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

the Other "F Word"

i was sitting at my desk this morning, when i heard one of the guys, who sits several desks behind me (in a different department), yell to someone across the room, "Hey S-----o, are you still a Giant's fan? Well you're quarterback is a faggot". i'll be honest, it really took me aback. now, don't get me wrong, i'm not Sister Mary Political Correctness, but it kinda surprised me that he screamed out it out and nobody batted an eyelash; people actually laughed.
when i worked at the store, if i heard someone use words like "fag" or the pejorative form of "gay", i'd nicely bring up that since i was a member of that unique fraterinity, i'd appreciate it if they didn't use such words. depending on the situation, I'd be more vehement or forceful, but i always got my point across and always received an apology.
this morning, however, i didn't say anything. i sat at my desk, pretended i didn't hear anything and fumed on the inside. i don't know the guy who said it; at least not personally. in the past i've heard him and his co-workers joking about Brokeback Mountain, and refering to other people as fags, etc. He doesn't like fags. it really doesn't take being Chastity Bono or a member of Lambda Legal to figure that out. All this time, i've never said anything. why? to be perfectly honest, i don't know what to say.

working in "big business" is very different from retail (yeah, that's kinda obvious, but bear with me). the firm for which i work is a boys club, looking around at all the departments (except for mine) there are quite alot of men working here; deffinitely the majority. in addition to that, the men are, at least to the naked eye (and my pretty accurate GayDar) straight. i think i can count on one hand the number of guys i've "spotted" in the almost 2 years that i'm here. so what's a gay guy to do? certainly not be the "outspoken/militant" gay guy of the department; that's corporate/professional suicide. just grin and bear it i guess.
i think the thing that really, honestly and truly bothers me the most is that if i had shouted out some phrase that included the "N" word, i doubt that he would remain silent. chances are i would be in HR faster than you could say Double Standard.

"Let each person exercise the art they know best"~Aristophanes

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I'm surprised at you not saying anything at all. That really does shock me because one thing I've always admired you for is your (somewhat) elegant way of getting the point across that it's just not acceptable to throw that word around. And you're right, the "N" word is an extremely touchy subject so why should this be any different. It obviously made you feel some sort of uncomfortable emotion to make a whole journal entry about it and yet you're not going to say anything?
Tell Dr Demonico that surgery is a must--This is proof that the tumor is f**king up your head!
Go get em gurl!!!

N'il said...

Sweetie, I agree with John. The use of that word in the workplace is inappropriate to say the least. It's discriminatory. It matters not that you, yourself are gay. Just like it matters not that you are not African American in regard to the "N" word. It's offensive. And you know me - I'm not the most politically correct person in the world either.

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